We open the show with Tenay telling us about THREE MORE GIMMICK MATCHES THAT ARE HAPPENING FOR NO REASON! And don’t give any of that “they need to have gimmick matches! It’s Hardcore Justice!” sh*t. If you want to do a bunch of gimmick matches at Hardcore Justice, then you need to spend the weeks beforehand BUILDING UP TO THEM IN A LOGICAL MANNER. That’s called booking. What TNA has done here is lazy, self-destructive hot-shotting.
STAIRWAY TO JANICE MATCH: Bram vs. Abyss- 4/10
You see, at least this match they spent some time building to. Abyss went to set up a barbed-wire board... and the fans responded by chanting “we want fire!” Five minutes into the show. Well f*ck you, fans. You’re not getting fire. Last week (which might well be just earlier in the night for you live at the arena), Abyss promised you barbed wire, glass, and thumbtacks. Why don’t you show some f*cking appreciation for what these guys do for you instead of constantly demanding more and more dangerous stunts.
Anyway, they hit each other with stuff, then Bram wins after hitting Abyss in the gut with Janice. This is now the third time we have seen this in about six weeks. Abyss hasn’t even missed any TV time. Why should I care anymore?
Oh. And after all of that commotion last week over who would get possession of Janice, Bram picked Janice up… then dropped it and went to the back… so what was the even the point of this match?
THE CAMERAMAN ASKS EC III “How was your time in jail.”- Ethan’s promo wasn’t bad, but that is just such a sh*tty, unprofessional question to ask that he’s lucky EC III answered any question at all
BRAM & MAGNUS BACKSTAGE- Magnus cuts a promo about wanting to be the #1 contender.
EC III, RHINO, & SPUD PROMO- Ethan blames Rhino for Dixie going through a table. Rhino turns face. Ethan beats him up. This was actually pretty good, all things considered. They’ve set up for a nice little match here. Hopefully they will give Ethan a good clean win.
SAMOA JOE PROMO- Joe talks about his history with Low Ki, and the great battle they had when he “first came to the east coast”… which would be in ROH, not in TNA. You hear that, everyone? Go buy a copy of the first ROH Glory By Honor show. Or even better, go buy the fantastic ROH: Year One DVD available from www.ROHWrestling.com. I guarantee you that their first match will be better than their match tonight.
HARDY BOYS PROMO- they claim they are “better than ever.” This would be despite having lost their only two matches back together.
JOE-LOW KI VIDEO PACKAGE- good
TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Samoa Joe(c) vs. Low Ki- 6.5/10
As we prepare for this regular singles match, Tenay informs us that “the no-limits aspect of the X-Division is back.” Do you ever think before you speak, Mike? Ever?
So Joe beats Ki clean. That’s it. There is now officially nowhere for this decision to go.
THE HARDYS AND DUDLEYS HAVE A SECRET MEETING- well… that was weird. Why would they even show us this? How fantastic would it be if instead of some secret meeting like it is being portrayed, Matt and Jeff just found some cute baby picture of themselves and wanted to show them to Bubba and Devon? Or maybe they’re just looking for two more guys to play bridge with.
KEN ANDERSON PROMO- good.
Shaw comes over and interrupts Anderson while he is calling Gunner dumb for not realizing that Shaw is a creepy bastard. Shaw’s whispy beard and pointy face make him look like he is related to R.D. Evans. Shaw and Anderson brawl. We still get no explanation for why they are giving away what should be a feud-ending stip on free TV with no build.
I QUIT MATCH: Mr. Anderson vs. Sam Shaw- DUD!
I have just realized that Gunner’s shirt has the TNA logo in an American flag pattern on the front and says “Total Nonstop American” on the back. That is a HORRIBLE shirt.
Boring the whole way through. Gunner came out, but rather than stop his two pals from fighting, he just decided to watch. Anderson won clean. If TNA “creative” was actually anything close to being just that, they would have gone with a finish where Gunner trie to stop the match, but Anderson insisted on continuing the fight, even when he had Shaw down. Gunner would step in to protect Shaw, but Anderson would insist on finishing the match, even he has to go through Gunner to get to Shaw. They would brawl, and Anderson would win the brawl. Shaw would then quit to stop Anderson from beating on Gunner.
3-D CLAIM THEY AND THE HARDYS WILL BREATHE NEW LIFE INTO TAG TEAM WRESTLING- how many times have we heard this line from TNA? They NEVER deliver. Therefore, I don’t BOlieve a word they say.
ANGELINA JUMPS GAIL FROM BEHIND LAST WEEK- they have a brawl which is quickly broken up.
THE CAMERAMAN ASKS KURT ABOUT THE GAIL-ANGELINA BRAWL-
First Kurt says it “disgusts him” that someone would jump someone else from behind on a wrestling show. After fifteen years in the business, you’d think he would be a bit jaded to that by now. Kurt says that Angelina doesn’t deserve a title shot, but he’s giving her one anyway because Gail asked. Also, it’s a Last Woman Standing match because Gail asked. Kurt totally botched the name of the match, but they didn’t bother to go back and re-shoot this taped segment because they don’t give a sh*t about their product or their fans.
BOBBY ROODE PROMO- eh
HARDYS & DUDLEYS SEGMENT- they invite the Wolves out, and the Wolves offer to give them a title shot whenever they want.
MIKE TENAY INTERVIEWS DIXIE CARTER- she’s going to focus on outside the ring stuff, but we haven’t seen the last of Dixie Carter, and “a Carter never forgets.” This compelled Mikey Tenay to ask “What exactly does that mean: a Carter never forgets?” which in turn compelled me to shout “IT’S BASIC ENGLISH, MIKE!” Dixie was also not having any of Tenay’s stupidity and she ended the interview. Between everything that happened last week, and music in the background, and everything she said here, Dixie came off like a huge babyface, which is the opposite of what they want.
Well… minus those two seconds at the end where used a whistle to call Serge in to fluff her pillow (although before she said that I was hoping she was calling Serg in to punch Tenay in the face like he did to AJ Styles during that idiotic “are they having an affair?” angle.
CREEPY VIDEO FROM LAST WEEK WITH JAMES STORM PREPARING TO VIOLATE SANADA SO THAT HE CAN INDUCT HIM INTO HIS CULT- still creepy. We do have an update, though, which is that “the Great Sanada” will be revealed next week.
LAST WOMAN STANDING MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Gail Kim(c) vs. Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky)- 6.5/10
They told a great story with Velvet constantly interfering, but I think it would have been a lot better if Taryn had come out to fight Velvet off rather than Gail beating both women by herself.
Oh… and to the dumbf*ck in front row chanting “you screwed Bret”- GET THE F*CK OVER IT!
KURT ANGLE ANNOUNCES HARDY VS. DUDLEYS VS. WOLVES- this would be great. Unfortunately, what we’re getting is a “tag team title series” in which the first team to win two matches wins the titles, and if you win a match, you get to pick the stips for the next match. Why does this sh*t always have to be so complicated?
MVP & PALS PROMO- great! It also did a great job of subtly playing off of last week’s segment.
SIX SIDES OF STEEL MATCH FOR A SHOT AT THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Bobby Roode vs. James Storm vs. Eric Young vs Austin Aries vs. Magnus vs. Gunner- 5.5/10
This will be an escape cage match. In general, I hate that stip, but I’m decently fine with it here because this isn’t a grudge match. Of course, if this isn’t a grudge match, there shouldn’t be a cage but…
The first two guys to come down the aisle were guys who have recently lost cleanly to the champion and not done anything since then. In fact, aside from Roode, I don’t think any of these guys have done much winning recently. While Storm was on his way out, Tenay randomly asks us to “think of the power Storm would have” if he won the world title. Completely out of nowhere, with no relation to any angle at all. This company sucks.
Roode’s music has changed a bit. There are now words during the opening chords.
I didn’t like this very much. There was too much action going on to really be able to follow, and we got that stupid “tie” finish.
There was no new letter revealed this week, so I guess whoever was playing hangman must have guessed wrong.
HYPE FOR NEXT WEEK- I hated the fact that they felt the need to insert clips of Bully putting Dixie through a table into this, but I do think they are doing a great job of making the Wolves seem like they are on the same level as the Hardys and Dudleys.
A dull show with a few highlights. If this is supposed to be a PPV quality show, it makes me not want to buy BFG.