TNA Slammiversary 2013

TNA Slammiversary 2013

By Big Red Machine
From June 02, 2013

TNA Slammiversary 2013
TNA Slammiversary XI (6/2/2013)- Boston, MA

ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Kenny King(c) vs. Chris Sabin vs. Suicide- 6.5/10
Good opener, but to be honest, I would have preferred this to just be a normal match, especially if Sabin is going over for the title. Ultimate X has been booked so often and meant so little that I just don’t care anymore.
After the match, Hogan came out and completely stole Sabin’s thunder. What a f*cking jackass! After giving Sabin some roundabout compliments while really talking about himself, Hogan says that Sabin will get a shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Title at Destination X… which, if I remember correctly, isn’t happening anymore, so I’m not sure what’s going on with that. Either way, this should have been done on Impact. There was no reason to waste PPV time with this or to have Hogan come out and steal Sabin’s thunder during such a big moment for him.

HOGAN & ACES & EIGHTS SEGMENT- Hogan tries to cut a promo but is interrupted by Anderson, Wes, & Garrett. Anderson cuts a lame promo, then Hogan calls them pussies, flips them off, and calls both Garrett and his father bitches. You would think that the three big tough bikers would beat their enemy up for this, but instead they just get upset and do nothing. Hogan then says that Aces & Eights will lose all of their matches tonight and says that the six man tag match will start right now. He then calls out each of the TNA guys by name: Magnus, Samoa Joe, and “the Enigmatic Enigma” Jeff Hardy. Yes, that’s right. Hogan doesn’t even know the nickname of one of his company’s biggest stars. He ends this by telling the Aces & Eights “you’re in a lot of trouble, brother!” *Groan*.
What a tremendous waste of time! The entire purpose of this crap and the crap with Sabin was to get Hogan on the show, which was entirely unnecessary. Instead, to stroke Hogan’s ego, they let him talk for ten straight minutes on a major PPV (and one that is already going to be losing ten minutes to their Hall of Fame announcement).

JEFF HARDY, SAMOA JOE, & MAGNUS vs. ACES & EIGHTS (Garrett Bischoff, Mr. Anderson, & Wes Brisco)- 4/10
The babyfaces defeat Aces & Eights handily with no major trouble at all. Not once was there a point in this match where you thought Aces & Eights had a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.
The crowd went absolutely nuts for Joe stomping a mudhole in Garrett in the corner.

JOSPEH PARK PROMO- he tries to cut one but is assaulted by Devon and Knux, who beat him bloody.

WINNER GETS A BERTH IN THE BFG SERIES: Jay Bradley vs. Sam Shaw- 4/10
This match was not much longer than a Gut Check match and was entirely unimpressive. For those of you keeping score at home, since signing his TNA contract Sam Shaw has now had more matches on PPV than he has on Impact. Bradley has had one on each.

ROODE & ARIES PROMO- pointless, but at least it was short.

Joseph Park loses his scheduled TV Title match by forfeit for being too injured to show up. Devon then says that Abyss is too scared to show up. Abyss then shows up, leading to…

TNA TV TITLE MATCH: Devon(c) (w/Knux) vs. Abyss- 3.5/10
A dull match in which the champ loses in less than five minutes and the title changes hands in an unsanctioned match. Typical TNA.



FOUR WAY ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Hernandez(c) vs. James Storm & Gunner vs. Austin Aries & Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence- 6/10
Someone finally gets DQed for cheating in a multi-person match! HOORAY! Anyway, the match was decent, and I liked everything they did once it got down to two teams, but really an unremarkable match.

BROOKE HOGAN PROMO- bad. More of this crap about “growing the division” when all of the evidence points to the contrary. JB then asks her if she still loves Bully and she ends the interview without giving an answer.

LAST KNOCKOUT STANDING MATCH: Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim- 5.5/10
Taryn got almost no pop at all on her way out. It felt like half of the match was women flying on various directions and landing hard. Pretty good match, though. I wish it had gone a bit longer.

Great stuff here, as you would expect. I think it was too soon after his return for AJ to lose, even by roll-up. Of course, you can’t have Kurt lose on the night he goes into the Hall of Fame… which is why having Kurt go in this year was a mistake.

BULLY RAY PROMO- would have been great if TNA had some lame Cornette-era ROH style ban on the piledriver… but they don’t! In fact, Petey Williams uses an even more impactful version of it all the time!
The other issue I have with this promo is that it doesn’t fit well with the “Sting can’t challenge for the title ever again if he loses” stip. If Sting can’t challenge him for the title again, why does Bully need to cripple Sting?

Sting under-delivers in the main event at Slammiversary for the fourth year in row? Who saw that coming? Aside from the entirety of the internet, I mean. Bully just cut this promo building up the piledriver as a career ending move and Sting not only kicks out of one, but then kicks out of one onto the unprotected wood under the canvas.
Just like last year, Sting kicks the crap out of the world champion. Then four more guys come down to the ring to beat Sting up… but he beats them up, too! And if getting the World Heavyweight Title off of Bully is so damn important, why did none of the babyfaces come down to help Sting when Aces & Eights were kicking the crap out of him? We also got the same damn hammer finish we got with Jeff Hardy two months ago in the Full Metal Mayhem match.

Overall, a bad show from TNA. It was dull, aside from AJ vs. Kurt it was entirely unexciting, and the only thing close to moment on here, Sabin winning the X-Division Title, was ruined by Hogan stealing his thunder. Totally unacceptable for your big anniversary show, especially if it is one of your only four Pay-Per-Views. So far we have two Pay-Per-Views from TNA booked with “Big Four Only” booking scheme and both of them have sucked.

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