CHIKARA Wit, Verve, and a Bit O’ Nerve

CHIKARA Wit, Verve, and a Bit O’ NerveCHIKARA Wit, Verve, and a Bit O’ Nerve

By Big Red Machine
From March 20, 2010

OPENING SEGMENT - Fine. Gavin Loudspeaker wants to sing but Claudio Castagnoli and Ares come out and throttle him. Ares destroys Gavin’s guitar and demands that the Colony come out and defend their titles against the BDK right now. The Colony came out and suddenly found themselves surrounded by the other members of the BDK. They were herded to the ring and about to be attacked eight-on-two but a bunch of other babyfaces came out to back them up. It looked like a big brawl would break out but Director of Fun Dieter von Stiegerwalt came out and said that the Colony “will have to wait to lose later.” The situation was defused and the BDK headed to the back.

The bullying of Gavin was effective at getting heat and making the BDK look mean, and the show of solidarity among the babyfaces sticking up for CHIKARA was nice, but I’m not totally sure what this segment actually did for the narrative.

LOS ICE CREAMS vs. DIE BRUDERSCHAFT DES KREUZES (Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze) - 4/10… but also a DUD!

Poor Gavin was once again bullied by the BDK here. This time it was BDK ring announcer Jakob Hammermeier coming out to snatch the microphone away so he could do Sara and Daizee’s intro.

This is probably the weirdest DUD I will ever give. The 4/10 is there because I feel the need to acknowledge that the wrestlers did a good job of executing everything they intended to do. The problem is that what they intended to do was just so wrong and backwards I can barely put it into words.

We started off with Sara and Daizee jumping the bell on Los Ice Creams as they were getting into the ring. Okay. So we’re doing a hot start and going right to the heat with no shine, right? NOPE. Los Ice Creams regroup on the outside and then start doing comedy, including trying to hide a weapon. I know that the heels cheated first and that they’re Los Ice Creams and cheating comedy is what they do, but it felt so wrong after a hot start like that. Like the whole thing was squandered.

Then it got worse, as some of Hijo del Ice Cream’s comedy was of the chauvinistic variety and a lot of it included him not taking Daizee Haze seriously… and as the announcers reminded us, this is exactly why Sara and Daizee joined the BDK. They felt that they weren’t being taken seriously by the CHIKARA roster… and here are two CHIKARA babyfaces not taking them seriously.

I will say that Sara and Daizee (well mostly Daizee, as I think Sara might have only been legally tagged in at the very end) did a very good job of letting Los Ice Creams do their comedy without allowing themselves to be made to look foolish by it in the way that a lot of other heels would, but that doesn’t change the fact that the decision to take this match in the direction they did felt like the exact opposite of what they should have done.
The announcers’ reaction to Hijo pinching Daizee’s butt is something I don’t even want to get into right now, but considering who was supposedly under the Hijo del Ice Cream mask and things that came out about the CHIKARA school, it’s not really surprising that the announcers would react that way.

GREEN ANT vs. TURSAS - 4.5/10

The story here was Green Ant being absolutely dominated by Tursas’ massive size. This was the beginning of a story that would pay off sixteen months later at CHIKARASaurus Rex King of Sequel: Night 1. Tursas squashed Green Ant with a splash after the match to injure him and prevent him from coming to the aide of his Colony compatriots when they defend their tag titles against the BDK in the main event.

OSIRIAN PORTAL vs. THE UnSTABLE (Vin Gerard & STIGMA) - 6.75/10

Very good stuff, from the heat all the way through the finishing sequence, which unfortunately seemed like it was cut short when Amasis appeared to injure his knee. He was back wrestling the next night, so if I am reading it right and there was a rushed finish, (thankfully) the injury wasn’t too bad. It’s quite the shame that the injury came when it did, too, as they were going at an absolutely perfect pace. They were doing a bunch of big spots, but each one led logically to the next, and they gave them each time to sink in so it didn’t feel like it was just a bunch of movez.

OSIRIAN PORTAL’S PROMO IS INTERRUPTED BY THE UnSTABLE… BEING BABYFACES? - Good. Gerard checked on Amasis’ knee (so yeah, this is definitely a worked injury) and wished Osirian Portal good luck in their pursuit of the three points necessary to challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas. STIGMA shook both Amasis and Ophidian’s hands. The key to thinks segment was not just that the UnStable seemed sincere, but that the Osirian Portal were as baffled by this as I, the viewer.

LINCÉ DORADO PROMO - Not good. He rambled on a little too long, and his cadence made him sound like a babyface instead of a heel.


Lincé tried to jump Equinox in the entranceway but Equinox was ready for it. Equinox punched a chair on the outside, which seemed like a good spot, but there was no real follow-up to it during the match.

There was some weirdness where the starting bell rang even though Bryce hadn’t called for it because the wrestlers were still on the outside. It happened when Lincé had an advantage so I figured that Jakob Hammermeier had done it, but this was never stated, and I assume it would have been if it was part of the story because the announcers were perplexed by the fact that the bell had rung.

Colin Delany was on commentary and was rooting for his enemy, Equinox, because he was against a BDK member. That was a good way to show the rudos and tecnicos coming together against the BDK.

These two had a very good action match, which Lincé won mostly cleanly. A poor security guys seemed to his head on a chair when he got pulled into the way of an Equinox dive.

2.0 vs. Badd Boys - No rating, WONDERFUL segment

This was one of those magical segments that only works in CHIKARA where the crowd is willing to play along. 2.0 and the Badd Boys are, in fact, the same team, and everyone knows it, but the Badds had been pretending they weren’t because they were trying to be new tough guys (they even bought denim vests). They had been talking smack about 2.0 and set up this challenge, then insisted that the referee count the no-showing 2.0 out and award them the match via forfeit. Eventually, they came clean about what they had done and revealed their identities, and said they would now be 3.0 and everyone loved it.

Everyone except for F.I.S.T., anyway. F.I.S.T. came out and Icarus said that changing their name wouldn’t matter because they don’t have the heart and determination to make it CHIKARA. 3.0 challenged F.I.S.T. to a fight but F.I.S.T. left. This was a segment that the crowd was going to make or break based on their reaction, and they sure made it here.

TIM DONST PROMO - Very good.

Tim Donst(c) vs. Dasher Hatfield - 7.5/10

Dasher accidentally chopped the ringpost so Donst worked over his arm. This was really good until Dasher recruited fan to help him crotch Donst on the ringside, and right in front of the referee no less… and it still wasn’t a DQ. That was the only blemish on a great match that elevated Dasher to the next level in his young CHIKARA career and set up for a rematch.

MIKE QUACKENBUSH, JIGSAW, & INCOHERENCE vs. THE ORDER OF THE NEO-SOLAR TEMPLE (UltraMantis Black & Crossbones) & TEAM F.I.S.T. (Gran Akuma & Icarus) - 8/10

Awesome atomicos action! Frightmare pinned Crossbones, and the crowd went absolutely bonkers for him. Quack grabbed a mic and put him over huge, encouraging him to go for the Young Lions Cup.

ULTRAMANTIS BLACK APPROACHES MIKE QUACKENBUSH ABOUT AN ALLIANCE BETWEEN THE RUDOS AND THE TECNICOS TO FIGHT THE BDK - Good. Quack tells UMB off, rightly noting that the BDK invasion of CHIKARA is UMB’s fault. He further insists that guys like Hallowicked and Frightmare, who are enemies of UMB, are much more valuable allies than UMB himself is, so why should Quack risk offending them by allying himself with UMB?

The Colony (Fire Ant & Soldier Ant)(c) vs. DIE BRUDERSCHAFT DES KREUZES (Claudio Castagnoli & Ares)- 6.75/10

Ares and Claudio came out with Tursas, Lincé Dorado, and Pinkie Sanchez, who all attacked the Colony before they made it to the ring, including Tursas hitting Solder Ant with a Crucifix Powerbomb into a wall. Fire Ant was so beaten-down when he was rolled into the ring that he was pinned almost right away, after just a single Ricola Bomb from Claudio.

Fire Ant withstood a bunch more punishment and managed to tag Soldier Ant in. The Colony made a good comeback here, and with hindsight I can appreciate how this match continued to the greater whole of the tapestry Quack was weaving with the big teases of the Ants getting a fall building up to CHIKARA finally getting their first pin on the BDK next month, but the match on its own wasn’t main event quality. The BDK won the belts. Bryce falling t his knees in despair after handing the belts over was way too over the top for my tastes. The crowd gave the Ants a nice show of respect after the match.

Final Thoughts
This was a decent show from CHIKARA. There was great stuff, but also some stuff that was either disappointing or just plain didn’t make sense. The biggest thing going in favor of this show, though, is that BDK-angle magic. This period of time in CHIKARA was extremely special, and the atmosphere comes across great, even in hindsight.<<

Join this review's conversation in the discussion board