PROGRESS Chapter 85: Progro.Naut
By Big Red Machine
From March 09, 2019
SUPER STRONG STYLE 16 QUALIFYING MATCH:
DJ Z vs. Angelico - 6.5/10
A solid opener.
EL LIGERO vs. TRENT SEVEN - 7/10
This was probably a lot longer than it needed to be, but it didn’t feel like it dragged and was exciting throughout.
WINNER QUALIFIES FOR THE FOUR-WAY PROGRESS WOMEN’S MATCH AT A LATER SHOW:
Millie McKenzie vs. “Session Moth” Martina - 6/10
The match started with Martina publicly attempting to bribe her opponent into throwing the match. Why was she not immediately disqualified and then barred from ever competing in PROGRESS again?
Once we got away from Martina’s usual goofage in the beginning, the match got pretty good. Jinny came out to distract Millie McKenzie but Millie overcame the brief loss of concentration and picked up the win.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - Fine. Jinny attacked Martina, then turned her fire on Millie when Millie tried to stop her. Millie took quite the beating, but eventually Martina was able to make the save.
SUPER STRONG STYLE 16 QUALIFYING MATCH:
Austin Theory vs. Jordan Devlin - 7.5/10
EL PHANTASMO vs. TRAVIS BANKS (w/T.K. Cooper & NIWA) - 4.75/10
El Phantasmo’s offense really doesn’t do anything for me. Way too much of it winds up requiring his opponent to stand around and wait to be hit with a move, to the point where it’s clear they’re waiting on purpose. Perhaps the worst of this was the spot where Travis Banks rolled out of the way of the top-rope splash El Phantasmo was setting up… and then just stayed put when El Phantasmo finally did jump off the ropes and land perfectly on Banks in his new position. Why didn’t he just roll out of the way again?
The story with SPPT cheating was good, though.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - Odd. Someone from the security crew got in Banks’ face for seemingly no reason, so the SPPT beat up a bunch of security guys.
THE 198 vs. NO FUN POLICE - 3.75/10
They did a bunch of farcical comedy, then expected me to take their wrestling match seriously.
DO NOT RESUSCITATE (William Eaver, Spike Trivet, & Chuck Mambo) vs. EDDIE DENNIS, JIMMY HAVOC, & MARK HASKINS (w/Vicky Haskins) - 8/10
Rather than enter the ring like a normal person, Jimmy Havoc magicked himself into the ring via teleportation. I guess he could have just asked the crew to turn the lights off for a bit on his way through Gorilla, but I really hope that’s not true, because that means the crew was complicit in allowing Jimmy Havoc to sneak up on DNR while carrying a f*cking axe to the ring. They’re very lucky that Havoc didn’t hack DNR to bits with an axe all because they allowed him to sneak up on them undetected.
They brawled all over the place before we got a bell. Things calmed down for a bit, but Mark Haskins was also injured and had to go to the back. Eventually Havoc got angry (well… angrier) and wanted to use his staple gun but the referee took it away from him, so Havoc punched the ref in the back of the head and knocked him out.
At that point it became anything and things got crazy. Aside from the stable gun and other weapons, Havoc knocked Eavers off of a balcony, and then dove down after him. While this happened, a bunch of the lights in the building went out. I don’t know why, but it definitely added to the chaotic atmosphere.
More violence happened, including a big payoff that had been building all match with Chuck Mambo and Eddie Dennis where Eddie was put out with a Tombstone on the stage. Trivet got a hold of the stable gun and gave Havoc some of his own medicine. He was about to give him a bunch more when the injured Mark Haskins returned and put up a heck of a fight, but was eventually felled with a wrench to the back of the head while the new referee was distracted. An excellent main event.
This was a very good building block show from PROGRESS, with some slow, steady build towards Super Strong Style 16, some very good wrestling, and an awesome main event. It’s the kind of show that you don’t really need to see, but you certainly don’t feel like you wasted your time if you do. It’s exactly the kind of show ROH needs to be putting on more often.<<