PWG Threemendous V





PWG Threemendous V

By Big Red Machine
From July 13, 2018

PWG Threemendous V

DAVID STARR vs. DALTON CASTLE (w/the Boys) - 7.25/10


We started off with Starr mocking Dalton Castle's injured back. This was important not just because it let us know that Starr was the heel, but also because it reminded everyone that Dalton's back is injured (it wasn't taped up, but his thigh was), which would play into things down the line. After that they had a strong babyface vs. heel match. There wasn't much of a story other than Dalton's back flaring up at key moments, but everything built well and they got the most out everything they did. A GREAT opener.

PENTA EL 0M vs. REY HORUS - 5/10


At one point Rey Horus grabbed a chair, then rolled into the ring and back out to break up a count-out, and then threw the chair at Penta right in front of the referee, and then went back to break up the count again. Really. That and some chopping early on were the only things in this match that weren't MOVEZZZZ. And yes, all four Zs were completely necessary.

JEFF COBB vs. JOEY JANELA - 6/10


They did exactly what you would expect from these two: Cobb threw Janela around a lot, Janela made a comeback with high flying stuff plus some superkicks, they hit each other very hard, then they did the finish. Said finish involved Cobb sitting Janela down on a chair, then picking both Joey and the chair up and throwing him into another chair, then hitting the Tour of the Islands for the win. What was the point of picking the chair up with Joey? It did no additional damage, and just made the move more difficult for Cobb to perform, so why would Cobb do it?

MATT JACKSON PROMO - F*cking stupid. Playing off of the gag with the psychology book on Being The Elite, Matt cut a promo in which he told us that they're going to not do "high spots" or dives and instead work over limbs and do headlock takeovers and use psychology in their match. You know... because it's all fake. And now that they've told me it's all fake, they want me to give a sh*t about who wins this fake wrestling title.

PWG WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
Rascalz(c) vs. the Young Bucks - 7.5/10


The match started with Matt controlling with headlocks and stuff. Eventually they set up spot where both Rascalz were on the outside and Nick was going to dive onto them but Matt got in his way because I guess Matt thinks that all dives are bad psychology or something, and therefore Matt stopped Nick from doing it, because having a match with "good psychology" is more important than "trying to win," because it's all fake.
That spot pissed me off so much. Not just for the above reason, but because in their attempt to poke fun at people who criticize the psychology of their matches, they are purposely using such a frustrating and stupid strawman version of psychology that it ceases to be them trying to prove a point and turns the whole thing into them giving their rah-rah speech to their little cult to rile them up. I'm sorry that Ross, Cornette, and various other Jims don't like your matches, but how about you just keep wrestling your kind of match (and the Bucks often do use lots of psychology) instead of poking fun at people like me who actually do like to see a limb worked over every once in a while. The psychology book gag on Being The Elite was funny. This is just annoying.
While the Bucks were arguing about this, the Rascalz got back into the ring, dropkicked them, and sent them to the outside, then dived onto them. Wentz rolled Matt back into the ring and went for a standing moonsault but Matt got the knees up. This hurt one of Matt's knees so he tagged out to Nick, who went to the top rope but Matt stopped him because apparently top rope moves are bad psychology. You know who was renowned for the psychology of his matches? Ricky Steamboat. And he never did anything from the top rope, right? Or how about the guy who gave you that book, Kenny Omega? He never goes to the top rope, does he?

So you see why I f*cking hate this stupid sh*t they're doing? And the worst part is that their doing it for a cheap laugh. Grow up.

And now that they've had their fun with the laughs, Matt's doing dives and sh*t again. You know what would have been nice? To have the Rascalz take over the match because every time the Bucks get momentum Nick goes for a dive or a top rope move or something and Matt stops him so they can never keep an advantage for long and eventually the Rascalz have Nick isolated on the outside and the quickest way for Matt to get to him would be to run across the ring and dive but he doesn't want to, but the Rascalz keep beating Nick up until finally Matt gives in and does it anyway, and he saves Nick and they make a hot tag and now that they are back to implementing their usual game plan, things start going better for the Bucks. Do you know what that would be? F*cking psychology.

But no. Instead they told us the match was all fake so they could get a few laughs early on in their WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH, and now that they've gotten their few laughs, they're back to doing their regular stuff. You know, because that stuff before was just them doing a bit, and now that the bit is over, we're supposed to just forget about it, because it's all fake.

Now that the comedy is over, the Bucks are the mean, vicious heels all of a sudden. Here's another good psychology tip. If you want to be the heels, don't be the ones who start things off by telling everyone that you're too cool for school and getting all of the laughs.

Anyway, the last nine minutes of this match were pretty awesome, but the first eight were two insecure assholes masturbating for their adoring public. The only other really notable thing here was the Bucks hitting a Meltzer Driver onto the psychology book, which Excalibur totally missed an opportunity when he merely called it a Meltzer Driver onto the book rather than calling it the Psycho-logy Driver.

Everyone hugs afterwards. Because, sure, the Bucks might have been complete and total asshole for last ten minutes of the match and even used a foreign object to try to screws the Rascalz out of their titles, but bygones are bygones, I guess. Then again, I guess the Rascalz really shouldn't care about the belts anyway, because, as Matt started this match off by making sure we couldn't forget, it's all just fake.

REY FENIX vs. TREVOR LEE - 7.25/10


Trevor Lee started off with his usual pre-match promo. It was amusing. The story of the match was quite simply the hated heel Lee being unable to put the beloved babyface Fenix away, no matter what he tried, which his own heel tactics coming back to bite him in the end.

MATT RIDDLE vs. MARTY SCURLL - 7/10


The first thing that happened in this match was Scurll hitting Riddle in the stomach with his umbrella, right in front of the referee. This was just the beginning of Scurll being in full villain mode.

PWG WORLD TITLE MATCH:
WALTER(c) vs. Brody King - 7.75/10


This wasn't scheduled to be a title match but Brody challenged WALTER to put the belt on the line so WALTER did.

I was into this until Brody King, whose head had been worked over and who just had to give up a pin on a German Suplex because his head was hurting him, put his hands behind his back and just let WALTER hit him in the head a bunch of times. The match was pretty great, with lots of hard hitting and work on the head and neck, but it was nothing special like what you'd want from your main event world title match.

Final Thoughts
This was a decent from PWG. It was easy to sit through and (aside from Matt Jackson's promo) nothing was offensively bad, but nothing was stand-out great, either. It was a perfectly fine night of wrestling, but nothing more, which is a little disappointing for your fifteenth anniversary show.

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