A Match Made In Heave
MARIPOSA TRIES TO GET MR. CUETO TO GIVE HER A GIFT OF THE GODS TITLE MATCH - She shows up exposing WAY more cleavage than I have ever seen her expose, either as Mariposa, Cheerleader Melissa, or even her run as Alissa Flash in TNA. She asks for a title shot but he says she doesn't deserve one. She tries to fist seduce him and then bribe him, and he agrees to either the second one or a combination of the two. Mariposa has never acted this way before, so this felt very weird.
Possibly of note, though, is the fact that the Martinez Family (and likely the greater Moth Tribe, and thus probably at least some members of other tribes as well) are well aware of the Cueto Family, and that there is some sort of bad blood between the Cuetos and the Moth Tribe because mating between them is forbidden by the Moth Tribe.
"THE MONSTER" MATANZA CUETO vs. MALA SUERTE (w/The Rabbit Tribe) - squash
The Rabbit Tribe thought they were going to have a trios match, but as soon as Mr. Cueto told them it was going to be a singles match instead, Paul London seemed to figure out what was about to happen, so he ordered Mala Suerte to wrestle the match as punishment for previously failing the tribe (and thus also failing the White Rabbit).
Mala Suerte's actions were all accompanied by goofy sound effect, which was totally inappropriate as we were watching this man essentially meet his doom.
X.O. LISHUS & IVELISSE vs. JACK EVANS & JOEY RYAN - 5.25/10
A tag team match works fine as a way to further the Evans vs. Lishus feud, but I will confess that the moment I saw Joey Ryan, I groaned. Without the "undercover cop/crooked cop snitching for Dario" aspect to his character, Joey is just the same obnoxious comedy goof he is everywhere else.
The match was good for what it was... until the end. Based on the way this feud seemed to start, I would have had Lishus keep getting the best of Jack and Jack becoming more and more frustrated. Then again, maybe that all happened off camera, because when I saw Jack leaving the hold locked in forever after the match and screaming about how this won't end "until X.O. Lishus is dead," it made me feel like I had missed about two months of the show where this feud kept escalating.
GIFT OF THE GODS TITLE MATCH:
El Dragon Azteca Jr.(c) vs. Mariposa - 2/10
Mariposa offered El Dragon Azteca Jr. a handshake and then immediately kicked him in the nuts when the referee went to give the belt to Melissa Santos (or whoever holds this stuff during the match). The match went three minutes, and yet we still managed to get both a 450 and a Kudoh Driver kicked out of. El Dragon Azteca Jr. won with a roll-up.
KOBRA MOON PROMO - She reveals her replacement for Vibora, who I had totally forgotten was DECAPITATED by Taya last week. After going back and watching that segment three more times, I finally got back to this week's show, where Kobra Moon told us that the replacement was someone she had "brought back to life." That someone turned out to be Jeremiah Crane, now going by the AWFUL name of "Jeremiah Snake." I was always excited to see the Jeremiah Crane character due to his knowledge of things that could be involved in the mytharc (I was EXTREMELY interested in his childhood, both living- or at least playing- in The Temple, and being friends with Catrina), but seeing him comeback as a servant of Kobra Moon feels lame. Then again, if there is some way to then break her control over him, it could give hope to many deceased characters on the show, including Fenix and Dario.
IF THE REPTILE TRIBE WIN, JOHNNY MUNDO MUST JOIN THEM, IF THE WORLDWIDE UNDERGROUND WIN, KOBRA MOON MUST GRANT JOHNNY MUNDO ONE WISH:
The Reptile Tribe vs. The Worldwide Underground (Johnny Mundo, P.J. Black & Taya) & AEROSTAR- 7.5/10
Before the match Johnny Mundo gave a speech saying he didn't think he could count on Ricky Mundo, and revealed that he was replacing him with AeroStar. He told Ricky to go "play with your doll" in the locker room. I think Vampiro best vocalized my feelings about the wisdom of this when he said "that guy's got mental health issues. You don't push him around like that." Ricky's going to wind up murdering them all in their sleep.
Seeing AeroStar wearing a Worldwide Underground headband was weird. Speaking of weird and heads, when did P.J. Black dye his hair that terrible shade of blue/green? The match was your usual ten-minute eight-person craziness. The babyfaces won, setting up the...
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - LOVED IT! Johnny uses his wish to have Kobra Moon set Drago free, so Drago and AeroStar leave together. Taya was FURIOUS at Johnny for wasting his wish on this instead of doing something else with it like asking for a title shot. Johnny, smooth operator that he is, tells Taya that Kobra Moon couldn't grant his real wish; only she can. Then Justin Gabriel pulls a box out of his trunks, and Johnny proposes to Taya (in a Randy Savage voice, of course). She says yes. Everyone is happy. This was FANTASTIC.
And then Matt Striker had to kill it by jovially saying "now all that's left is for Johnny to lock her in the dressing room before all of his matches and the world will be complete." You heard that, LU executives? He joked about a horribly abusive relationship. Can you please fire him now?
F*ck, you, Striker.
RICKY MUNDO & HIS EVIL POSSESSED DOLL BACKSTAGE - They're probably going to murder everyone at Johnny & Taya's wedding. Uh-oh.
A very fun episode of Lucha Underground. Johnny Mundo might well be the best non-Dragunov babyface of the year.