Lucha Undergroud S03E36: The Rise of the Ring Announcer
By Big Red Machine
From September 20, 2017
The Rise of the Ring Announcer
MELISSA SANTOS & FENIX SPAR - A great segment that got over their mutual love while also doing more than anything they have ever done in the past three seasons to get over the importance of a Luchador/a's mask.
Because Melissa will be wrestling, Famous B will be our ring announcer tonight. Brenda is our timekeeper.
EL TEXANO JR. vs. DANTE FOX - 5/10
Famous B is quite bitter that El Texano Jr. hasn't signed with him even after sacrificed himself to save Texano's arm from Pentagon Dark, but he still hasn't given up hope of trying to recruit him. Texano was bearing down on Famous B, but Dante Fox jumped him from behind to start the match. Killshot showed up to watch silently from the steps because this was apparently the best way the bookers could come up with to build to the Fox vs. Killshot match for Ultima Lucha.
When El Texano Jr. got a nearfall on Fox, Famous B jumped the gun and announced him as the winner. Then, like an idiot, he got into the ring and congratulated Texano on this "victory." This predictably led to Texano being rolled up by Fox for the pin.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - Good. Texano was going to kill Famous B but Dario Cueto emerged from his office to tell Famous B not to hurt Texano because Dario needed him to be the ring announcer for tonight... but he will book El Texano Jr. vs. Famous B for next week. Famous B protested that he has a broken arm. Dario was unsympathetic, but did tell Famous B that if he somehow manages to beat Texano next week, Dario will give Famous B control of Texano's contract like Famous B has wanted all season. Now I'm intrigued. This is a perfect opportunity to either have Famous B gain control of Texano's contract, to write Famous B out of the show by having Texano destroy him, or to have Texano embarrass Famous B, resulting in Famous B's focus shifting from trying to recruit Texano to hiring a client to help him destroy Texano for revenge.
I would like it recorded for posterity that Vampiro said that "the majority" of the questions he gets on from fans on Twitter are along the lines of "how the hell do you put up with Matt Striker ever week?"
Speaking of Striker, he couldn't help but take the first mention of Fox's military background to thank any and all viewers "who have served in the armed forces of whatever country you happen to be from." You all heard it! Matt Striker just said something that could theoretically be construed as supporting the armed forces of Syria and North Korea. Can he please be fired now?
HYPE FOR THE GIFT OF THE GODS TITLE MATCH - Some meh stuff with Dario, Son of Havoc, and Pentagon Dark. Everyone said exactly what you would expect them to.
MELISSA SANTOS & FENIX vs. MARTY "THE MOTH" MARTINEZ & MARIPOSA - 6/10
The match was good for what it was, and Melissa's stuff all looked perfectly fine. Marisposa tied Fenix to the ringpost and then she and Marty put Melissa down with a kind of Assisted Pedigree for the win.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - Then Marty TRIED TO STAB MELISSA SANTOS IN THE FACE, but Fenix broke free and made the save. Fenix and Melissa hugged each other in pure relief that neither of them had been murdered. Their facial expressions were great.
ULTIMA LUCHA III CARD RUN-DOWN - A few notes here.
1. Apparently El Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Matanza is now in a steel cage.
2. This was the first time Ivelisse has been mentioned in forever.
3. Killshot vs. Fox is going to be "Hell of War," which is essentially Three Stages of Hell, except LU's name for it is a lot less descriptive. Also, why are having this stip? Like... where did the idea of making this 2-out-of-3 Falls even come from?
4. Rey Mysterio Jr. doesn't have a match?
SEVEN-WAY MATCH FOR THE VACANT LUCHA UNDERGROUND GIFT OF THE GODS TITLE:
Paul London vs. Cortez Castro vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark vs. Dragon (w/Kobra Moon) - 6/10
Famous B's ring introduction let us know that he has not forgotten who it was that broke his arm. Spots happened. Son of Havoc and Pentagon Dark each pinned a different opponent at the exact same time so Dario ordered that they have a match at Ultima Lucha III to crown a new champion. Also, that match is going to be a Ladder Match because three gimmick matches apparently isn't enough.
DARIO MEETS WITH AGENT WINTER IN A LIMO - The plot thickens. Dario is worried that Cage might actually be telling the truth when he says that he is a machine and thus the gauntlet hasn't been able to possess him the way it is supposed to. He tells Agent Winter that he wants to book a three-way for the gauntlet between Cage, Crane, and Mil Muertes for Ultima Lucha III to ensure that the person who is truly the strongest winds up with the gauntlet, and thus winds up possessed by whichever god/gods are in there. Agent Winter asks Dario what happens if Cage wins and gets the gauntlet back. Dario says "then the ascension fails" and, now speaking to the big, mysterious boss says "and I personally invite you to my Temple to destroy Cage yourself, my lord."
A pretty good show from Lucha Underground despite the below average in-ring quality. That last segment has certainly made Ultima Lucha III a lot more interesting.