Joey Janela asking money to wrestle Marty Jannetty Commercial - He can't get money, so he buys a magic lamp, a Genie Scott Hall magic lamp, and he wishes he could fight Marty Jannetty. The advertising for this show is really unique.
Announcer and host of the party, Larry Legend. There is commentary, impossible to hear during entrances, but it's actually Excalibur's first PPV commentary job. There's also a lazer show during entrances.
Sami Callihan vs Kyle The Beast - 6/10
Working as Jeremaih Crane has to be the best thing that happened to the Callihan Spit Machine, he has realized that wrestling in a singlet is not necessary. Match started as a brawl, later moved to the ring. It was mostly a small veteran vs huge unknown guy wrestling, he's no rookie, but he was sold as one. That Beast guy was pretty good, Callihan put him over big.
Allie and Braxton Sutter vs Penelope Ford and Andy Williams - 6.5/10
How did I not know about Penelope before this!? That Andy Williams guy, he's from Every Time I Die, hanged out with him at PWG, had no idea he was a wrestler, cool guy, I accidentally dropped some beer in his chair. Allie tonight is doing her annoying heel shtick. HOLY SHIT ANDY JUST KILLED ALLIE! Ha! In return Sutter killed Penelope. Sutter then starts brawling with Andy and Allie with Penelope outside the ring, soon after, Andy and Sutter both went through a table and the focused moved to Allie and Penelope inside the ring. After that the all fought inside the ring, no tags or anything. Penelope is really really good, she's like a 2008 WWE Diva doing Will Ospreay's moveset, and Andy held his own for not being a trained wrestler. Heel Allie is something to behold.
GCW Championship Falls Count Anywhere, Anything Goes Match
Eddie Kingston vs Matt Tremont - 4/10
Less than one minute in and there are 3 wooden doors in the ring and Tremont is bleeding, it's gonna be one of those matches. Another minute and Kingston is forking Tremont, aaaand they're heading to the rafters. This was 10-15 minutes of Kingston beating the shit out of Tremont, crimson mask and all, then Tremont hit a DVD through a door and pinned Kingston.
Joey Janela's Spring Break Clusterfuck
Travis Gordon vs Facade w/Candy Moore? vs John Silver vs Veda Scott vs Bryan Idol w/Some other girl called Candy vs Crazy Boy vs Jervis Cottonbelly vs Invisible Man vs Jimmy Lloyd vs Arik Cannon vs *.* GLACIER *.* (yeah, those are snowflakes) vs Dink The Clown vs Ethan Page w/The Gatekeepers - 2/10, actual Clusterfuck.
Rules are that you can win via pinfall, submission, or death, this is also a royal rumble style match, so technically it's an Aztec Warfare match. Special Guest Referee: Bryce Rensburg. The story of the match is that Janela booked a bunch of guys without asking for permission, so technically Glacier is booked. Gordon and Facade started the match. Veda was forth and could she hit any softer? she may be a worse than Shane McMahon, she took a superkick from Silver than broke about 3 or 4 teeth. 5th is Crazy Boy from Mexico! The Invisible Man was actually THE Invisible Man from DDT, Veda actually had a better match with him than the other wrestlers. Facade and Glacier were doing some cool setups until Dink came out (no type-o there, it was actually the little Dink). Page and Glacier were in the ring and suddenly a Mortal Kombat match started!! This match definitely lived up to its name, this was a clusterfuck in booking, wrestling, participants, or timing, but was it entertaining? Yes.
First terminated was Gordon by Lloyd. Silver was eliminated by Cannon. Glacier was ejected by Glacier. Dink the Clown left the building (he eliminated himself). Veda Scott was annihilated by Page. The Invisible Man was eliminated by Page. Facade ejected Jervis Cottonbelly. Facade then was eliminated by Cannon. Idol was out after Cannon pin him. Cannon was eliminated by Glacier. Page rolled up Glacier after the MK match. Final two were Page and Lloyd, Page proceeded to destroy Lloyd with wooden doors, but Lloyd wouldn't give up, he kicked out of the Iconoclasm through a door, and after a comeback, Lloyd pinned Page for the win.
First Time Ever Encounter
Lio Rush vs Keith Lee - 8.5/10
Excalibur completely buries the match saying he saw them shake hands earlier today. This could easily make it into your top 10 big man vs small man matches of all time. There were some stuff that I didn't agree with, but Lio Rush earn that win. Given more time and a better environment, this had a perfect 10 potential.
Joey Janela vs Marty Jannetty - 4/10
This is the first time I see someone use Kavisnky as an entrance song, I'm surprised it took so long. Jannetty is as happy as he's ever been, he hasn't been as over as he is tonight since before the Barbershop Window incident. There was a match long joke about Jannetty's alcohol and drug problem until Excalibur felt bad and prompted fans to seek help if facing the same issues. Wrestling wise there wasn't anything special, Jannetty is doing usual old timer wrestling, Janela is nothing special once he starts wrestling, but he did antagonize Jannetty using Sween Chin Music and Sharpshooters. There was a point were Janela took out like 6 or 7 refs until Earl Hebner came out (wearing Impact logos), and then Janela took him out, then fucking Virgil came out, wearing a silver mask, then Jannetty and Virgil fought, then Jannetty hit a fucking Canadian Destroyer!! HA and now Chuck Taylor is on commentary out of nowhere. This has become another clusterfuck, these two are literally wrestling over dead referees. Eventually Janela hit a sweet chin music for the win. C.L.U.S.T.E.R.F.U.C.K.
Post-Match - Janela is cutting a shitty promo on how he is the best and created all this shit out of nothing and shit. Marty gave some words to put Janela over and thanks to all. He may have been a bit drunk after all.
"King of Bros" Matt Riddle w/David Starr vs "The Beast" Dan Severn - 7/10
You know somewhere Bellator and Rizin are hurting for not being the ones that booked this. Severn came out with 4 guys, each one carrying a different title, fucking legend! Before the match Severn grabs a mic "So you say you're gonna kick my ass? Well, here I am!" Fucking Legend!
Match was great from a pro wrestling perspective, but you kinda had to look beyond some of the botchy looking moves. Some spots looked bad just because they were shooting a lot on each other, but also not going for the kill, so you'd see Severn take down Riddle, but not follow up, stuff like that. Severn was actually still really good doing submissions and throws, but his 'worked' punches looked terrible, so when you saw Riddle go for chops and palm strikes, you kinda felt bad for Severn. The finish was great with Riddle reversing a Dragon Sleeper into the Bromission.
Post-Match - Riddle puts Severn over as the legend he is, it has to be a huge deal for him. I don't think I've ever heard Riddle talk so much.
I hope you didn't come to this show expecting a Show of the Year contender, because this was as indie as indie can get. Card wasn't impressive aside from Lee vs Rush and Severn vs Riddle, but you gotta hand it to that Janela dude, he got people talking about this show and now I'm watching. This could really be something big next year with better booking and a better budget, it's the perfect shit show for a Wrestlemania weekend. I can't in good sense tell you to watch this show unless you really really like someone featured tonight.