PROGRESS Chapter 38: When Men Throw Men At Men





By Cero2k
From October 30, 2016

PROGRESS Chapter 38: When Men Throw Men At Men
Jim Smallman Intro - it's Halloween so there are a lot of people dressed up tonight. There is a guy wearing a bald cap and I have no idea who he is supposed to be, i take it a local hated person. Don't be a dick.

The New Nation vs The Hunter Brothers - 6.5/10


Alexander Henry and The Primate AKA The New Nations are making their debut. Good opener, Hunters have some great innovative double team moves and The New Nation are incredibly strong. Wrong team won, even if it was by a roll up. I swear Primate has the PWG logo in his ass.

Natural Progression Series IV, First Round Match
Jinny vs Pollyanna - 7/10


Super over Pollyanna had a lot of babyface fire in her, but Jinny really did kick her ass for most of the match, not to mention, Jinny kicked out of Pollyanna's strongest offense.Pollyanna did kick out of most of Jinny's offense too. Finish was kinda stupid, Pollyanna spiked Jinny twice with a piledriver, and Jinny just rolled her over on the third, zero selling. Great match aside from the finish.

Pastor William Eaver vs Paul Robinson - 5.5/10


I really miss Austin Aries coming out to Personal Jesus. Fuck 'im Up Jesus, Fuck 'im chants. Really anti-climatic match and finish.

Post-Match - (fake) Broken neck Sebastian is out. Pretty much says that since Eaver almost injured him last show, instead of not filing charges, Eaver will now be Sebastian's bitch. Eaver doesn't do shit.

Sexsmith and Johnson Promo - They're tired of being a joke and losing all the time, they want to change this by defeating the No1 contenders to the tag titles in a tables match.

Tag Team Tables Match
Jack Sexsmith & Roy Johnson vs The South Pacific Power Trip w/Dahlia Black - 7/10


Rule is both members of the team must go through tables to win. Dahlia Black causes a distraction and the SPPT attacks from behind. These British tables man, they look stiff as fuck. They did the Dudleyz' 'get the tables' spot, and immediately proceeded to set up 4 tables at once, talk about overkill. I think this is the first match in my wrestling fandom life that I've seen "You fucked up" chants to an actual kayfabe fuck up. Jonhnson was eliminated first, but he kept wrestling, so it may be more of a points thing than actual elimination, or maybe the babyface is just a terrible loser. Match had some good spots and decent story, the right team won in my opinion, and now Sexsmith and Robinson should go away for good.

Jack Sexsmith has a move called Mr Cocko. It's Mr Socko, but with a condom. It's at this point where I think wrestling has gone too far.

Off Topic - You know what wrestling doesn't need? Promoters shouldn't be cutting promos between every match, and surely final video product shouldn't include when such promoters are doing housekeeping. There's a reason why you never see it in PWG video, or TNA video, or WWE video. You do your introductions and leave it at that.

Atlas Championship Open Challenge
Rampage Brown (C) vs Bad Bones - 6.5/10


It feels like we're back in the ruthless aggression era. This was a big man hoss fight, stiff and heavy. Bunch of spears and bunch of clotheslines. It kinda lost me towards the middle of the match. Finish was cool.

Smash Wrestling Title #1 Contendership Match
Matt Cross vs Mark Andrews - 8/10


Well, this should be great. Spoiler Alert, it was. "Flip 'im Up Andrews, Flip 'im up" chants. Match had high flying stuff, some mat wrestling, mostly back and forward between two babyfaces.

More Jim Smallman talking - uuggghhhh....

PROGRESS Championship Triple Threat Match
Marty Scurll vs Mark Haskins (C) vs Jimmy Havoc - 9/10


The story of this match is that Haskins is arguably the best wrestler in PROGRESS and he wants to prove that he is the best PROGRESS Champion in history; however, his challengers are Jimmy Havoc, the longest reining PROGRESS champ, who is coming back from injury and is the most over guy in PROGRESS, and Marty Scurll, the only two-time PROGRESS Champ and the most hated man in PROGRESS. Marty and Havoc are in a war between each other and in the middle you have Haskins trying to prove he is the top man, so this IS the match where he has to prove he is the best and the men Marty and Scurll should be worried about. Match was great in many ways, Havoc brought the brawl style, Haskins was all over the place with high flying offense and submissions, and Marty...well, Marty was Marty, the best heel in the business today. There wasn't much working toward a finish, but more of a just hurt everyone as much as possible and all three guys kept racing toward their finishers. Totally worth checking out.

Post-Match - Haskins drops the title in the middle of the ring and walks out. Fans chant "What The Fuck?"

OVERALL THOUGHTS:


Great show from PROGRESS, some of the lower card didn't feel as important, but the anticipation to the main event was huge. There is however, a lot of curiosity to see where most of the storylines go from here. We can assume that the title has been vacated, but with Havoc and Scurll just defeated for the title, there should be something interesting coming up.

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