By Big Red Machine
From September 16, 2016
Your commentary team for tonight is Kevin Kelly, Steve Corino... and BOBBY CRUISE!
ACH vs. WILL FERRARA - 5.25/10
DELIRIOUS vs. JONATHAN GRESHAM - 6/10
They had an extremely technical match that was a nice combination of World of Sport style and Lucha Libre.
CHRIS SABIN vs. FRANKIE KAZARIAN - 6.5/10
The match was going well until Kamaitachi showed up to interfere, helping Kazarian win. Kaz and Kamaitachi attacked Sabin after the match. Alex Shelley came out to make the save, which transitioned into...
ALEX SHELLEY vs. KAMAITACHI - 7/10
A great match that probably would have been a 7.5 if it wasn't brought down by two things: Kamaitachi not getting DQed for a chair shot right in front of the referee and Alex Shelley forgetting to sell his knee once he started to make his comeback.
CHRISTOPHER DANIELS PROMO - bad. This was one of those "conspiracy" promos where Daniels just comes out here and lies in ways that are so ridiculous that instead of getting heat they kill him by making him come off like a complete and total moron for thinking that anyone could possibly believe him. Also, he cut a promo on Jay White to build to their match.
FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL MATCH:
The Briscoes vs. War Machine vs. Silas Young & Beer City Bruiser vs. the All-Night Express (w/Caprice Coleman) - 8/10
Twenty minutes of wild and crazy brawling!
CHEESEBURGER vs. CHRIS LERUSSO- 4.75/10
Will Ferrara has replaced both Steve Corino and Bobby Cruise on commentary. The match was inoffensive. The commentary on the other hand...
Kevin Kelly wants to know what Will Ferrara thinks about Rhett Titus (and the rest of the Cabinet) kneeling down instead of following the Code of Honor. The reason he is asking Ferrara specifically about Rhett specifically is that they are legit best friends, and Kevin even brings up the fact that Ferrara was at Rhett's birthday party last night. I could have sworn that Rhett spent most of the spring saying that people Will Ferrara's size didn't belong on pro wrestling, but why let a little thing THE F*CKING STORYLINE OF YOUR WRESTLING SHOW get in the way making someone's opinion about a one-note joke a gimmick seems more legit? Does Kevin really think that telling us that Rhett and Ferrara are shoot friends will make us think that this whole Cabinet bullsh*t (and Ferrara's opinion thereof) isn't a work? Is he really that stupid?
Also, apparently Will Ferrara and Cheeseburger are going to Joey Daddiego for training. Because that's an angle that someone is apparently devoting thought to.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - Ah. I was wondering when 911 was going to show up and kill the jobbers. The lights go out and BJ Whitmer and Punishment Martinez have teleported into the ring, because we had to give them magical powers of teleportation and controlling the lights in the arena instead of just having them run down to the ring like normal people. They beat up the small people. The equally small Will Ferrara runs down to make the save but he meets the same fate. Then Steve Corino shows up. He gets nose-to-nose with his worst enemy BJ Whitmer but takes f*cking forever before he tries to throw a punch so when he does, Martinez blocks it. Martinez then turns to hit another move on Ferrara while Corino just stands there. Then Whitmer gets out the golden spike and just gives this dangerous weapon to his worst enemy. Then Whitmer and Martinez walk off and Corino teases stabbing Ferrara before just walking off. Meanwhile, the things coming out of Kevin Kelly's mouth, which used to be the normal, coherent words of a (very bad) wrestling announcer, have now transformed into what might as well be gibberish. This has got to be the worst angle in ROH history by many, many, many miles.
LIO RUSH vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN (w/the Cabinet) - 6.25/10
Alex Shelley is now on commentary. The match was fine for the time it got, but Caprice is definitely the weakest link in the Cabinet and Rhett and Kenny would be much better off without him. And without the Cabinet gimmick.
JAY WHITE vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS - 8/10
Yeah, Jay White is 100% the future. His selling of his neck throughout this match was phenomenal, his comebacks were fiery, and he his toughness makes you want to see him fight back and win throughout all the pain. These guys went over twenty minutes focusing on a simple story... and that's really all you need.
BULLET CLUB (Adam Cole & the Young Bucks) vs. JAY LETHAL, COLT CABANA, & DALTON CASTLE (w/the Boys) - 9/10
Like a PWG match but with selling! The only negatives were the amount of stalling in the beginning and the fact that the wrong team won. There was absolutely no reason for our top heels to lose to a trio that have never teamed before here in an essentially meaningless match (and especially when they were already going to be doing a job at the TV tapings in the six-man tournament and when Cole was going to be losing tomorrow night, too).
Where the hell did this show come from? There was absolutely no buzz coming out of it, but this show was awesome! Especially that main event! I can't ever remember a match being so awesome and yet flying so far under the radar. This is definitely one to pick up. If there were such a thing as the Sleeper Show of the Year, this one would be it!