Lucha Underground S03S09: Loser Leaves Lucha
By Big Red Machine
From November 02, 2016
Loser Leaves Lucha
Chavo Sr. is in the house tonight to watch the main event.
DARIO'S DIAL OF DOOM - the title shot goes to... DARIO'S CHOICE!
Dario was SOOOO awesome in setting this up, and the subtext with Dario choosing Cortez Castro is great.
LUCHA UNDERGROUND TITLE MATCH: "The Monster" Matanza Cueto(c) vs. Cortez Castro- no rating, BEAUTIFUL segment!
Castro still has a broken arm. He comes out carrying a Kendo stick because he is suspicious of Dario's motives and wary of an ambush. Vampiro did an awesome job of putting over the idea that the title means so much to Castro that he is willing to put his long-term health on the line by wrestling this match with a broken arm.
Yeah... that spot with the cast? That right there was a perfectly placed (and, IMO, much-needed) reminder as we head into Aztec Warfare that Matanza is not "just another guy" (which I think he has felt like during most of these Dial of Doom matches). He is something MUCH more. And speaking of the upcoming Aztec Warfare...
HOLY F*CK MATT STRIKER SAID SOMETHING INTELLIGENT!
When Aztec Warfare was announced and it was announced that Matanza would not only defend the belt, but also enter from #1, I was very skeptical of this, as it felt like Dario was pointlessly stacking the deck against his own chosen champion. Matt Striker pointed out the following: Last year Matanza dominated people in one-on-one situations, usually beating them with just one move. Entering at #1 will allow him to beat each guy before the next guy has the chance to enter, creating an environment that actually favors Matanza. That Dario Cueto is a f*cking genius!
Dario tells Castro to "take your rest undercovers and come back as soon as you can, Rat!". Dario is the best.
DARIO & JOEY RYAN IN DARIO'S OFFICE- they laugh their asses off about Ricky Reyes/Cortez Castro's misfortune. Dario is so great.
DARIO, SON OF HAVOC, & MASCARITA SAGRADA IN DARIO'S OFFICE- more dickish Dario greatness. Also, we wind up with the following match being signed: Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Son of Havoc and if Son of Havoc wins, Mascarita Sagrada will not only get to face Famous B, but will also get to choose the stips... but if Dr. Wagner Jr. wins, Famous B will get to choose the stips. The best way for this to go has to be Famous B choosing a ladder match but Mascarita winning it anyway.
PRINCE PUMA PROMO- great.
Mil Muertes put Konnan in a coffin, so Prince Puma won't stop until he's done the same to Mil. That, of course, means GRAVE CONSEQUENCES.
Matt Striker says that Grave Consequences "is Mil Mutertes' specialty." I mean... if you can consider it a "specialty" match if the guy always loses? It's like Kane and the Inferno Match. It's not his specialty so much as it is the match Creative likes to book him in because it feels thematic.
Catrina appeared and accepted the match. Then a man in a suit tried to attack Prince Puma from behind, and I assumed it was Blue Demon Jr. because he is the only guy who wears suits and a mask on this show, but apparently for some reason, MIL MUERTES OWNS A SUIT!
Prince Puma sensed the attack coming and wound up winning the exchange. I didn't like this bit. I thought it would have been better to just have some supernatural effect happen and have Catrina show up on some high place to cut a shortened version of a 90's Undertaker promo to accept the match and talk death and darkness and about how this will be the end for Prince Puma and all of that stuff. I don't usually like that stuff, but in products like LU and CHIKARA there is a time and a place for it, and I think this was one of them.
WINNER'S BUDDY GETS TO PICK THE STIPS FOR THEIR MATCH NEXT WEEK: Dr. Wagner Jr. (w/Famous B & Brenda) vs. Son of Havoc (w/Mascarita Sagrada)- 4.25/10
First Matt Striker (in an attempt to make a joke about Mascarita Sagrada being Son of Havoc's catcher if you know what I mean) revealed his ignorance of motorcycle culture by saying "motorcycle gang" instead of "club." Even I know that and I've never even seen a single episode of Sons of Anarchy. Then Vampiro made things worse by pretty much outright saying that Son of Havoc's gimmick is a lie.
At another point during the match, when Dr. Wagner Jr. grabbed Son of Havoc but the beard, Striker tried to be funny by saying that he "has Son of Havoc by the short hairs," except that, Son of Havoc's beard is long enough that it's likely that those hairs are the longest ones on his body. You can consider this your "Stupid Announcer Quotes" section for this review
Anyway, they have a match and SON OF HAVOC WINS?! Why are we giving the babyfaces the advantage?
NEXT WEEK'S MATCH WILL BE... a "Believers' Backlash Match." Is that the "fans are lumberjacks match" they did with Hernandez and Drago at the Ultima Lucha? Also, apparently it has a "fans bring the weapons" type of stip.
WHITE RABBIT TRIBE- there's three dudes. Two in masks, one of which is checkered. The guys who did most of the talking was unmasked. I think he's some sort of magician or something? This was a HUGE letdown (and not just because everything short of The Undertaker is a letdown when you are hoping for Minoru Suzuki).
Anyway, they'll be here soon. Who do you think shows up first: White Rabbit Tribe or Emmalina?
LOSER LEAVES LUCHA: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.- 6.75/10
An otherwise great match interrupted by stupid, pointless overbooking... and I do mean pointless because it's not like Dario making this a No DQs match even mattered in any way. Also, if Dario hates DQs so much, why doesn't he just make every match Anything Goes?
A good show from Lucha Underground despite the disappointing main event.