** Pre-Show **
US Title Match
Kalisto (C) vs Ryback - No Rating
I'm not rating this match because I honestly didn't pay much attention to it, it was a bit early, but from what I saw it looked like a good big guy vs little guy with Ryback throwing Kalisto around the place.
Team Total Divas vs BAD and Blonde - 5/10
I'm not going to say the match was good, but it wasn't bad, probably one of the most satisfying matches all night. Most of the girls did good in the short time they had, it came to a point that I felt some girls like Emma, Naomi, Brie, or Paige should have had a separate one on one match. Not gonna lie, i was a bit more impressed with Lana and Eva Marie than normal.
This was Brie Bellas final match, technically her retirement match, and they cut away the camera as the other girls lifted her up to celebrate. Fuck You WWE.
Lita revealed the new Women's Championship, new title, new lineage.
The Usos vs The Dudley Boyz - 5/10
It was a nothing match, Usos and Dudleyz are a bit irrelevant, so they just got their spots in and did the finish. After the match Dudleyz went for the tables, but Usos turned it around.
** MAIN SHOW **
Intercontinental Ladder Match
Kevin Owens (C) vs Sami Zayn vs Stardust vs The Miz vs Dolph Ziggler vs Zack Ryder vs Sin Cara - 6/10
Exactly what you would expect with a bunch of spots. Not a lot of stuff that was noteworthy. Stardust was wearing Dusty Rhodes theme attire. Owens took a scary bump and didn't move after that. Zack Ryder won because why not, right? Vince McMahon is 6 yrs late to the Ryder train. This makes no sense at all.
AJ Styles vs Chris Jericho - 6.5/10
A whole lot less awesome that I was hoping for, really lack luster, maybe because I've watched this match over and over again. I hate that even with the Styles Clash and the Spinal Tap, and even the 450, WWE is trying to sell the forearm as a finisher. Give me a break. Another match were the wrong man goes over, this show makes no sense, no sense at all.
The New Day vs The League of Nations - 5.5/10
New Day had a big entrance, but it was pretty stupid. League had a crap entrance and had to walk over the leftovers of the New Day entrance. Barrett is not wrestling, so it's not the expected 3v4. Match was not exciting at all, typical RAW match really Another match were the wrong team wins. What the fuck?
Post-match - Barrett cuts a promo saying no one can beat them and out of all the trios in wrestling, HBK, Stone Cold, and Foley come out to take them out. WHAT!? They just won and you job them to has beens? Also fuck HBK, I'm counting this as coming out of retirement.
No DQ Match
Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman vs Dean Ambrose - 5/10
WOW, I kinda want to call this a squash. Dean took 13 suplexes, one F-5 and lose. Super short match that meant nothing. No use of bats, bardwire bats, chainsaws, like why would you even build up this whole thing and make it meaningless. Who is booking this show?
WWE Women's Title Match
Charlotte (C) w/Ric Flair vs Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks - 8/10
Sasha and Charlotte had big entrances, Becky not so much, kinda sucks for her. This match was 100% the best match of the night, this was the best booked match in the sense how it escalated and how they planned the spots. I wasn't a big fan of Flair getting his hand in the finish, and I don't see the point of not giving Sasha her big night.
EDIT: Realizing that the new title has a new lineage, it now makes sense why they NEED for Charlotte to be the inaugural champion.
Hell In A Cell
The Undertaker vs Shane McMahon - 5/10
SO the story of the show so far was that Lesnar/Ambrose kinda killed the crowed, the girls brought them back, but this match kinda killed it again. It was just a bunch of punching and bad MMA for like 10 - 15 minutes. Eventually because why not, Shane decides to cut one of the walls of the cell and they start to brawl outside, why they didn't exit through the door, beats me. This whole match, no wait, this whole feud and program was built just to have Shane try to kill himself from the top of the cage, and yet he lost. What was the whole point of doing this? Why expose the promise of new Authority if you're not going to follow up with it? Why risk Shane seriously getting injured just for cheap pops and still not give him the win. Granted this is in front of 80'000 people, but this is no different than the cheap pop spot that you would do at a backyard wrestling match.
The Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal - 2/10
I just kept asking myself "What the fuck is this!?" Tatanka was there for some reason, and it's not like he got the DDP type of intro, he was just there. Shaquile O'Neil was there too, did a small spot with Big Show and those two were 3rd and 4th eliminated. Among other jobbers that jobbed at this was Sandow, and I immediatly thought, hey Sandow, in 6 years or so, Vince will give you the IC title like he did with Ryder today. Anyway, nothing made sense and at the end Baron Corbin won of all things. I guess it's the best they could come up for his debut, surely he'll have an amazing push like the other two ARMBAR winners.
The Rock vs Erick Rowan - SQUASH
You read this right. So the Dallas Cowboy's Cheerleader squad came out to dance, and then The Rock came out...with a flamethrower. Yes, a flamethrower. Fire got a better pop than Roman Reigns by the way. Rock did his shtick, lied to the fans saying that there were 100,000+ fans there, I guess if you count the people outside. After all this stuff, The Wyatts finally revealed why they had no matches in WM, it was in hopes that the Rock would come out. Rowan has grown horns on his mask and Bray's apron is made of faces, because Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the only movie that has Texas in the title. They talked and this lead to Rock undressing and revealing he walks around with his gear all the time. Anyway, i'm not talking about the match because it consisted of a Rock Bottom and a pin. Rock broke another record. Soooo it's not over yet, the Wyatts are gonna jump Rock and BRAAPAADOOO comes out to save Rock. So Cena and Rock team up, Squash the man with the most impressive entrance in WWE and that's that.
WWE World Heavyweight Title Match
Triple H (C) w/Stephanie McMahon vs Roman Reigns - 5/10
FUCK I was hoping this had been bumped to RAW. So Triple H's entrance happened. Steph is dressed as Catra and cut a promo saying pretty much that they are the Authority and no one can go against their will, which is actually the theme of Roman Reigns' push. This entrance also confirmed that Hunter and Steph LOVE Lucha Underground, particularly Mil Muertes, Catrina, and their Disciples of Death, because now Triple has his own elevated throne, Skull faced Disciples, and a Rock, but we call him Dwayne. Reign's was just meh. it could be that it's been 6+ hrs that this show started, but fuck this match was boring, everything made Triple H look awesome, the biggest spot was Reigns spearing Steph, because surely man-on-woman violence HAS to get him over. Fans got bored and started to chant for NXT, Nakamura, Gable, and Bayley. The inevitable happens and Reign wins. Good that they muted the fan mics because people were not happy.
Honestly, this was a terrible show. Bottom 5 for sure, not that the wrestling was bad, but it was just meh, RAW level at most, booking made no sense throughout the show, and it all doesn't sound that bad, but this was the 'biggest' Wrestlemania of all time, all this build up and what? We're back at Reigns vs The Authority from December/January because Shane lost and Reigns won. Nothing changed. I'm honestly wondering how the hell you follow up demented decisions like Jericho defeating Styles or Zack Ryder being the champ. I'm glad to say that the women's match was the best match of the show.