By Big Red Machine
From November 22, 2015
WWE Survivor Series 2015 (11/22/2015)- Atlanta, GA
TEN MAN ELIMINATION TAG TEAM MATCH: The Miz, Bo Dallas, Stardust, & the Ascension vs. Neville, The Dudley Boys, Titus O’Neil, & Goldust- 0.5/10
So the “traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match” is so important that they didn’t bother to announce the participants in advance, filled it out with jobbers (and also the Dudley Boys) and are giving it away for free on the pre-show… and they stuck commercials in the middle of it. And they wonder why no one sees Survivor Series as a major PPV anymore.
If we add up the number of televised wins the heel team has this year, I highly doubt it will pass fifty. And almost certainly not if we take The Miz out.
Cole says that “the last time we saw Goldust, he was involved in a major rivalry with his brother, Stardust,” so I guess Michael Cole didn’t watch the last Takeover Special.
Viktor is eliminated in about a minute with a f*cking SNAP POWERSLAM. The Dudleys then did a Whazzup right in front of the ref and weren’t DQed. Aside from preserving the integrity of the match, if a you don’t call for a DQ, the wrestlers will think they can get away with breaking other rules as well, as was perfectly exemplified by the Dudleys Boys who, immediately after getting away with breaking the “no shots to the groin” rule, tried to go get weapons to use in this match.
This match was so important, that when we got done with the SECOND commercial break WWE stuck in the middle of it, the announcers decided to plug the WWE Network shows that we had just been told about in the commercials instead of paying attention to the match.
The babyfaces were in firm control of the match almost the entire time, maintain a two-man advantage for most of the match, so there was no heat at all. Also, the match wasn’t very exciting. Because WWE hates its fans, the only babyface who got eliminated in this match was Neville.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH: Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Zeb Coulter)- 7.5/10
A NEW INTERVIEWER INTERVIEWS ROMAN- Dean shows up to remind us that he and Roman are friends. Then Kevin Owens shows up and cuts a promo on him.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT SEMIFINAL MATCH: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens- 7.5/10
KAY JEWELERS is one of the sponsors for TLC. That’s… unexpected to say the least.
SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION TAG TEAM MATCH: Ryback, The Lucha Dragons, & The Usos vs. The New Day, Wade Barrett, & Sheamus- 6.25/10
The match was going very well until Big E. got eliminated and Kofi and Xavier walked out with him, meaning the tag champs couldn’t be pinned, so this match will lead to absolutely nothing. In the end, the valiant heel Sheamus bravely fought off a gang of three babyfaces on his own for quite a while. That’s backwards. Also, someone need to let both Lilian Garcia and Michael Cole know that, BY DEFINITION, you cannot have more than one “sole” survivor.
WWE DIVAS TITLE MATCH: Charlotte(c) vs. Paige- 7.75/10
Best main roster women’s match I’ve ever seen.
DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. TYLER BREEZE (w/Summer Rae)- 6/10
The match was a lot shorter than I expected it to be. JBL made a joke about Jerry Lawler’s heart attack.
THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION vs. BRAY WYATT & LUKE HARPER (w/the Wyatt Family)- 5.5/10
JBL makes the first reference to Hulk Hogan on WWE TV since the tapes came out. He didn’t mention him by name of course, but he did say that Taker won his first WWE Title from “the Immortal One.”
The match was fun for what it was. That double chokeslam through the table might have been the very first bump Braun Strowman has ever taken on WWE TV.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT FINALS: Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns- 5.25/10
Wow. That was short. And no heel turns or anything. So I guess we all know what’s coming…
Anyway, Triple H shows up to congratulate the new champion… and douchebag Roman spears him for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
Ah. Here it is…
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Roman Reigns(c) vs. Sheamus- no rating.
Basically they did the Hardy-Punk cash-in match except that they didn’t do the roll-up spot that made that match so perfect.
A… pretty good show from WWE, although it’s biggest weakness, by far, was that the two top matches didn’t deliver.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Completely out of nowhere, JBL INSISTED on bringing up the fact that the Gobbledy-gooker debuted at Survivor Series. WHY?! How does WWE benefit from this? Is there a “Best of the Gobbledy-gooker DVD coming out soon? Is there ANYONE who has positive memories of the Gobbledy-gooker? All JBL did was just annoy people who thought the gooker was stupid. That’s ALL he did.