BRM Reviews the 10/18/2012 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- The guy on the screen said that Devon had just recently joined Aces & Eights... but Devon says that they have had his back "since day one." Which is it?
Then Devon said that he did this to get revenge on Bubba for cheap shot-ing him and powerbombing his kid through a table. Didn't Devon already get revenge on Bubba for this? They feuded for at least six months.
Oh, and Devon also says that this turn is "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth," which shows that he has no idea what that expression means (unless he powerbombed Bubba's kid through a table but hasn't told anyone about it yet).

Before Devon can tell us why he turned on Sting and Hogan, Sting comes out with a whole bunch of other guys, including AJ, Angle, and Joe. Where the hell were these guys at Bound For Glory when Aces & Eights was sending extra guys to the ring? Sting and the babyfaces charge the ring, and ten minutes into the damn show, Aces & Eights have already gotten their asses handed to them. When we come back to commercial, Hogan gives Devon an ultimatum that makes no sense at all because ACES & EIGHTS ARE NOT UNDER CONTRACT!

To make matters worse, during the Kash & Gunner vs. Tex-Mex match, Tenay would say that Devon is the Sergeant-at-Arms of Aces & Eights, and I have to call bullsh*t on that. I don't know much about Biker Gangs, but I know that they don't just make the newest member of the club a super high-ranking position.

HOGAN & ANDERSON BACKSTAGE- Hogan says that Anderson will gt a chance to compete for the TNA Title in the Championship Thursday silliness because he "has been on track" and has "proven" himself. 90% of the roster has proven themselves, and Anderson hasn't done a damn thing lately. I can't stand it when GMs favor the babyfaces for no reason. How hard is it to plan things out a few weeks in advance so you can give the guy a series of wins to make his challenge seem legitimate.

Speaking of people who have done nothing at all to deserve title shots...

TNA TV TITLE MATCH: Samoa Joe(c) vs. Robbie E. (w/Rob Terry)- no rating, good segment. Joe squashes both Robbie's!
This must be Robbie E's tenth shot at the TV Title this year, and I think he has only won two matches since losing the belt back in March.

TARA & JESSE SEGMENT- good

ODB vs. TARA (w/Jesse Godderz)- 2/10
Tara loses cleanly in three minutes in her first match as champion. Bad booking.

AJ & KURT BACKSTAGE- entirely stupid and unnecessary. Do these characters really need to explain to each other that they want to be world champion? And why does one of them being world champion mean that they have to stop teaming?

KID KASH & GUNNER vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR. & HERNANDEZ- 3.75/10
Have Gunner & Kash ever won a match as a team?

BULLY RAY, HOGAN, STING, & JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE- good set up for various things... but it seems like Bubba just didn't pay attention to Devon's promo in the beginning of the show.

JEFF HARDY CELEBRATION- Oh G-d. Jeff has the super-ugly title belt again. Anyway, this was a great segment.

WINNER GETS A CHANCE TO BE CHOSEN BY HOGAN FOR A WORLD TITLE SHOT NEXT WEEK: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Kurt Angle- 6/10
Only eight minutes? BOO!

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE WITH JOEY RYAN AND MATT MORGAN- very good (although I hated Hogan talking about "creative meetings."

JAMES STORM PROMO- F*CKING AWESOME!
James Storm's bucket list:
10. Kick the crap out of Bobby Roode
9-2. Drink Beer.
1. Win back the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Once Bobby Roode came out, this segment went downhill. Not that it was bad, but I think it would have been a lot better to just end the promo and have Storm chase the title (or at least to deflect some focus from Roode so that if Roode screws Storm out of the title next week, it might be slightly unexpected).

STING vs. DEVON- 5/10
Not good enough for a main event, and everyone knew it was going to end in a DQ with Aces & Eights assaulting Sting. So then we get a decently large schmoz and, now that they are supposedly an even bigger threat because they have full access to the Impact Zone... Aces & Eights spend the night getting their asses kicked. Great booking there, TNA.

Overall, this week's episode of Impact was very bad, especially the Aces & Eights stuff. The James Storm promo and the segment between Hardy and Aries are worth seeing, though.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz- "That's a three-quarter nelson, there, but I don't want to get too technical on folks."
YOUR JOB IS TO BE TECHNICAL! Can you imagine if an NFL announcer ever said "there's a flag on the play here. There' s a penalty being called on the offense, but I don't want to say what the penalty was because it might confuse some people?" That is pretty much what Taz did here. It is insulting to the audience and is just bad announcing.