BRM Reviews the 7/30/2012 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

CM PUNK PROMO- Awesome! Especially the part where he chewed out Lawler. I’d love to see announcers get called out for being over-dramatic.

THE REST OF THE OPENING SEGMENT- okay.

SANTINO MARELLA vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez)- good squash. Any time that Santino gets squashed is a good squash.

ALBERTO DEL RIO PROMO- Um… sorry Alberto, but this angle isn’t going to work. Too many logical hick-ups. Going on strike by yourself is a great way to lose your spot.

SANDOW DESTROYS BRODUS CLAY- F*CK YES! DAMIEN SANDOW!

DRAGON & AJ BACKSTAGE- not good. I am extremely afraid that AJ is going to turn into Teddy Long, but with more personality. She is going to do things that would be jackass-ish, but we are supposed to find them funny because she is a babyface.

SHEAMUS PROMO- okay

STREET FIGHT: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus- 7/10

HOLY BALLS! Did Dragon just punt an imaginary child? Chuck Taylor will be SO jealous!
THE REST OF THIS SEGMENT- bad. Okay, so Dragon has to get an evaluation. This will piss him off a bit, and maybe he’ll be diagnosed with some anger management problems, or maybe mild narcissism, but he will almost certainly be back on TV in time for Smackdown. Anyway, these guys in the white coats, who assumedly work for the state Department of Health or whatever, have seen R-Truth talking to an imaginary child. You would think that it is their duty to want to evaluate him as well. And while we’ve opened this can of worms…
For the past few months, AJ has been acting like a whackjob.
1) One year ago, the Board of Directors relieve Vince of his duties for trying to fire Cena beause that was bad for business. Now he has put a whacko in charge of Raw. Shouldn’t they be coming after him, or trying to reverse the decision or something?
2) Shouldn’t WWE’s Wellness Policy involve psychiatric evaluations, and have had both AJ and R-Truth sent to counseling already?

TITUS O’NEIL (w/Darren Young & A.W.) vs. KOFI KINGSTON (w/R-Truth)- 2.75/10
OH SH*T! I cannot believe that A.W. just said that. Someone is going to be in a sh*t-ton of trouble.

PUNK & CENA BACKSTAGE- Punk was AWESOME, and Cena’s reaction was perfect.

HEATH SLATER vs. RANDY ORTON- don’t care. WWE has successfully destroyed any interest I had in Heath Slater. Time for a piss break. Don’t call me unless this is five stars.

DRAGON’S PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION- Dumb segment. It’s a psychiatric evaluation, and this guy is asking questions like it is the beginning of the polygraph test.

CHRIS JERICHO & CHRISTIAN vs. THE MIZ & DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/The Miz)-6/10

DRAGON’S PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION PART 2- okay, that was well done.

TYSON KIDD vs. TENSAI (w/Sakamoto)- 3.75/10

DRAGON’S PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION RESULTS- okay… the Kane attack was random.

WINNER GETS A WWE TITLE SHOT AT SUMMER SLAM: John Cena vs. The Big Show- 7/10
Great match, but I hated the stuff with Punk. It was well done, but I just didn’t like it. I don’t think Punk should be an egotistical heel. His little back and forth at the end with AJ is the sort of thing that I have absolutely HATED TNA doing with Bobby Roode, where we have an egotistical heel champion who claims that an authority figure is disrespecting him… by making him defend his title? WTF? So what if it is a triple threat match. Punk has been calling himself the “Best in the World” for a year now. Why is he all of a sudden afraid of a Triple Threat match?

In many ways, tonight’s Raw was actually more important than last week’s. Last week, we knew hat we were getting: It was going to be more of a celebration than an episode of Raw, and no matter whether it was good or bad, we knew that it wasn’t what were going to be getting on a weekly basis from now on. This week had to show us that the three hour format was going to be a good thing. That it wouldn’t be filled with backstage skits and even more of the same matches that don’t get enough time. That a three hour show wouldn’t be hard to sit through. For the most part, I think it succeeded (not so much on the “not being hard to sit through” part, though). Most of this week’s matches got an appropriate amount of time, and were good matches. There weren’t many backstage skits, and those that they did have were all based on one angle, rather than random appearances by random wrestlers doing random things involving Hornswoggle or Vince McMahon. Overall, this episode of Raw was very good… I just don’t like where the main angle seems to be leading.