BRM Reviews the 9/29/2011 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Completely unnecessary. Also stupid. Basically, Sting comes out and tells us something we already know. Then he calls Bobby Roode out so they can do the same thing. Then AJ tells us yet another thing that we already know (seriously! Fortune isn’t going to turn on Bobby Roode, as we saw with James Storm last week and Kaz the week before!). Then Kurt comes out and tries to tell us differently. The Kurt says that the World Heavyweight Title is the only thing that can get TNA back under control of Dixie Carter. Really? Well Dixie officially lost the company on March 3rd… and since then, the man who has spent the most amount of time as TNA World Heavyweight Champion is… STING! So why the hell didn’t he get Dixie her company back already?

LADDER MATCH FOR #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE X-DIVISION TITLE: Brian Kendrick vs. Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen vs. Kid Kash vs. Alex Shelley- 5/10. A no-hype, five minute ladder match. Nothing too impressive in the match, either.
One thing that really annoyed me was that Christie announced the match type with four of the guys already in the ring. This was a departure from the norm that was clearly done this way because of the commercial break, which bothers me on a kayfabe “live” TV show.

JARRETTS, KAZ, & TRACI SEGMENT- Dumb. Jarrett clearly doesn’t know what the word “heir” means… that, or he doesn’t know what the word “queen” means. If Jeff is the King of the Mountain, and Karen is his queen… then she is ruling with him! She isn’t the “heir” to the throne like Jeff said! Then we got a pull-apart brawl. Fine. Then Gunner came out and attacked Kaz while security stood by and did nothing! The point of them pulling Jarrett and Kaz (and Traci and Karen) apart is so they wouldn’t fight AND NO ONE WOULD GET HURT… then they just stand there and watch while someone else attacks Kaz? Really?

INK INC.-MEXICAN AMERICAN BRAWL- Good segment

JAMES STORM PROMO- good.

HOGAN & FLAIR IN HOGAN’S OFFICE- Flair’s comments here pretty much tipped us off to what the announcement was.

QUEEN’S QUALIFIER MATCH #3: Madison Rayne vs. Tara- 2.75/10. I didn’t see the nut-shot that Hebner was so angry about. As a comedy match, this wasn’t too good because they did the same thing over and over. The story worked well, though (aside from the invisible nut-shot). Hebner kind of screwed up the finish for me because he was so close to Tara, and in such an unusual position that it was obvious that he was purposely trying to be in a position where he couldn’t see Madison’s feet on the ropes.

CAMERA-GUY INTERVIEWS DANIELS- okay

CRIMSON PROMO- So Crimson JUST NOW gets pissed at Joe for taking him out of the BFG series… Crimson just wrestled KURT ANGLE on Impact a few weeks ago… You would think that getting back at Joe would have been the first thing on his mind when he got back. Joe’s response was equally silly: “Without Crimson in TNA, who else would I get to be my b*tch?” I don’t know... Maybe one of the other guys whose asses you kicked and put them out of the BFG Series? If you watched with your TV muted, though, this segment was pretty good.

MR. ANDERSON vs. D’ANGELO DINERO- 3.75/10. I like the concept behind Devon’s kids preventing Anderson from punching Pope, but Hebner and security should have thrown them out of the arena (then you can have a segment in the parking lot later with Devon yelling at them). I also didn’t like Anderson going down after just one shot with a kendo stick. When the was the last time that we saw someone go down after just one? And this wasn’t even a good whack to the temple, either. It was just a swing to the back of the neck.

SEGMENT WITH DEVON, POPE, & DEVON’S KIDS- crap! Devon is pissed because he isn’t the one caling the shots? He is a babyface! He should be angry at his kids for disrespecting the business by interfering in a match! This is like Bischoff yelling at The Network for putting Sting in charge because to do so is disrespectful to him and Hogan, rather than because Sting is a lunatic. The writers are completely missing the point!

BOBBY ROODE vs. AJ STYLES- 7.5/10. GREAT match!

HOGAN’S ANNOUNCEMENT: How, exactly, is Hogan’s retirement going to turn the industry upside-down, or be “earthshaking” or any of the other things they said? He has only wrestled SIX MATCHES in the last FIVE YEARS! After this announcement, he will be just an authority figure… which is EXACTLY WHAT HE HAS BEEN DOING FOR HIS ENTIRE RUN IN TNA!

Hogan’s promo itself didn’t really evoke anything from me. He was talking so quickly that it felt like he was getting through a script. This didn’t feel real at all, which a good false-retirement speech needs to (see Steen’s at Final Battle 2009).

This episode of Impact was pretty bad, with Roode vs. AJ being the only thing worth watching.

[Serujuunin]

This episode of Impact was pretty bad, with Roode vs. AJ being the only thing worth watching.

I entirely agree. The I was doing homework through it all waiting for something decent to come on, but as soon as I saw Roode vs. Styles, I got super excited. Those guys together almost make it look easy.

The more I watch TNA, the more appreciation I have for the talent on the show.

[KILLdozer]

i completely disagree the show was just fine to me

[Big Red Machine]

i completely disagree the show was just fine to me

I don't understand how you can watch TV (or a play, or anything), and not be bothered by inaccuracies or logical flaws. Most of the reason that these things hit me is that I sympathize with the babyface and ask myself "what would I do in this situation?" If I can quickly come up with a logical, simple solution that the character doesn't take for no other reason than "the plot demands it," it bothers me. To me, that is part of good storytelling. So when I see Kurt Angle saying that the World Title is the only thing that can help Sting get Dixie the company back... but Sting HAD the World Title for four months and didn't do anything at all to get the company back, it annoys me.

[Verdun]

I didn't catch much of it, but the ladder match looked like a bland clusterfuck.

The match with Madison Rayne and Tara had me scratching my head. She was feeling up Hebner half the time and I was wondering what was going on.

I caught the main event which was good, but I thought AJ tapped too soon to that crossface. It wasn't like WWE tap as soon as he gets caught, but as a former multi-time champion, AJ should have been squirming a bit more.

[KILLdozer]

i completely disagree the show was just fine to me

I don't understand how you can watch TV (or a play, or anything), and not be bothered by inaccuracies or logical flaws. Most of the reason that these things hit me is that I sympathize with the babyface and ask myself "what would I do in this situation?" If I can quickly come up with a logical, simple solution that the character doesn't take for no other reason than "the plot demands it," it bothers me. To me, that is part of good storytelling. So when I see Kurt Angle saying that the World Title is the only thing that can help Sting get Dixie the company back... but Sting HAD the World Title for four months and didn't do anything at all to get the company back, it annoys me.

cuz i just simply dont care like you do

[Verdun]

cuz i just simply dont care like you do

You mean that sometimes you overlook things or don't pay attention to them entirely if what you see overall is entertaining?