BRM Reviews the 7/28/2011 Impact (do you like rants?)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- eh. It wasn’t bad… it just wasn’t anything I wanted to see. They are definitely building towards something, though

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs. Gunner- 5.5/10

BISCHOFF READS THE LETTER ABOUT THE X-DIVISION- This wasn’t bad for the angle that they are doing, but one thing in here bothered me a lot. The letter instructed Bischoff to “build and brand the X-Division.” The X-Division IS a brand! And the fact that people don’t realize this just speaks to the HORRIBLE misuse of the X-Division in TNA over the last three years.
Another thing that irked me here was that them blaming Abyss makes no sense whatsoever! There were seven other matches on the card! Even if Abyss had won his match, it wouldn’t have made the PPV any less of a kayfabe success (since a PPV is kayfabe successful business-wise). And while we are on that subject, I have heard it reported that Destination X only did 8,000 buys. For a company with international exposure, that isn’t a success. That is a major failure.

Then Hogan walked in. Hogan’s interruption wasn’t bad, but Bubba volunteering Anderson was just stupid. You can either make Bubba be a legit tough guy and a threat, or you can have him be an all-show fake bravado paper tiger. You can’t do both at the same time.

Then Sting showed up, and it got bad. Sting’s character is just moronic and obnoxious. Also, with JUST STING there, alone in a room with ABYSS, STEINER, ANDERSON, AND JEFF JARRETT (not to mention Hogan and Bischoff, too)… WHY DIDN’T THEY JUST BEAT THE SH*T OUT OF HIM?!!!!! The Network making Sting their representative is also problematic, because if Sting’s whole crazy gimmick doesn’t turn out to be a ploy, then it makes the Network look like morons for handing so much power to a RAVING LUNATIC.

X-DIVISION SEGMENT- F*CKING AWESOME! The A Double character works perfectly when you don’t have smarks cheering for it. Abyss wasn’t bad until he started to go on about taking the title, which will somehow allow him to “destroy the X-Division.” You just spent a whole month talking about how the X-Division was a style… so how will not having a belt to compete for kill it?
Then Sting makes Abyss’ rematch an Ultimate X match. Because that is good booking: Put the heel at a disadvantage. And it is good promoting to throw your company's signature match away on free TV with no hype.

MATT MORGAN PROMO- unfortunate turn of events, but a great, heartfelt promo.

BUBBA PROMO- dumb.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Bully Ray vs. Crimson- 3.75/10. After cutting his super-cocky promo, Bubba loses after ONE MOVE.

TARA vs. WINTER- 4.5/10. Babyface jumps the heel for no reason, and a dirty finish for no reason at all. At least I think it was a dirty finish. The distracted ref made it seem like they wanted it to look that way, but I'm not sure that a c*nt-punt is actually illegal. Either way, they shouldn’t have done it because Winter needs to look strong going into her title match with Mickie.

ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Brian Kendrick(c) vs. Abyss- 4.5/10. I didn’t like this much at all. They just did the same spot twice, and Abyss looked more like the big dumb Abyss of old, rather than the Sun Tzu-reading Abyss we have seen over the past few months. But that finish was AWESOME!

EY STUFF- MORONIC WASTE OF TIME

KNOCKOUTS' SEGMENT- Stupid, and Traci’s hat also looked dumb. Anyway, I absolutely have no sympathy for Velvet as a bullying victim (or anything else she talked about in her promo), because the first thing she did when she got to TNA was… BECOME A BULLY!

FORTUNE SEGMENT- Didn’t like Kaz talking about intentionally injuring someone, but the AJ-Daniels stuff was good.
Then Sting showed up, carrying his cage, and he made some comments about keeping the heels out… and a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, thought occurred to me. That cage seems just about large enough to contain… a Rottweiler. And no; this isn’t a "Ricky Reyes is a midget" joke. I assure you that there was absolutely nothing funny about the thought that ran through my head, because this is the one thing that I thought that even Vince Russo might be above booking. Steel Cage + Rottweiler=




(G-d I hope I’m wrong about this)….






Kennel From Hell








STING-BISCHOFF SEGMENT- ARE YOU MOTHERF*CKING KIDDING ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALLY???
First of all, when Bischoff was berating the Network exec because he thought that they chose Sting as their rep, Bischoff’s whole argument was “choosing Sting is disrespectful to me and Hogan, and we can do so much for you.” Not once did he ever try to say "STING IS A LUNATIC! Therefore, putting him in charge of the show is a BAD IDEA!"

And then it got worse… Sting comes in (now that I think about it, Sting has pretty much been a harbinger of death tonight for every segment he has been involved in) and he reveals… THAT HE LIED ABOUT BEING THE NETWORK REP… AND HEELS BELIEVED HIM??????? WTF?

1) He is their enemy, so it seems probable that he might lie to them
2) HE IS F*CKING BATTY! THE MAN MAKES R-TRUTH LOOK SANE!!!!!!!!!!!!! So even if Sting earnestly believed that he was appointed by the Network to be their representative… there is a good reason NOT TO BELIEVE HIM!
This is just stupidity on such a level that the only thing I can possibly compare it to is Dixie not reading the document that Bischoff gave her to sign (and thus signing away her own company, then pretending that it was all Bischoff’s fault for tricking her, rather than her own fault for being a moron).
Then there is the flaw of it taking all night for Bischoff to get a hold of the Network. One would assume that at least someone from the Network who is in charge of Impact ACTUALLY WATCHES THE F*CKING SHOW (or else how would they be able to make some of these decisions)… and one would assume that if that person saw Sting (who has clearly not only lost his marbles, but is at the point where he probably thinks that the game will work just as well if he replaces the marbles with live rabbits) blatantly lie about having been granted authority, this person would waste no time in trying to tell everyone at the Impact Zone NOT TO LISTEN TO STING!!!!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Then Sting reveals the contents of his cage… a bird… and all it takes is for Sting to remind Bischoff of the Hitchcock film, and Bischoff is paralyzed with fear. I have to admit… I honestly didn’t think that even Vince Russo was dumb enough to write a segment like this.
And of course, because “wrestling matters” so much to TNA, they thought that it was more important to show us Bischoff and a bird than THE BEGINNING OF MAIN EVENT STEEL CAGE MATCH THEY HAD BEEN HYPING UP ALL NIGHT!

STEEL CAGE MATCH: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle- 6.75/10. I took.25 off because I hated the finish so much. Bubba just comes off looking like an ass, here, and not in the good, heel way. Bubba keeps sticking Anderson in these situations, then gets upset when Anderson insults him… so Bubba disobeys the orders of his leader Hulk Hogan just to mess with Anderson? The finish to this match is the sort of thing that Anderson should be doing to Bubba as revenge for sticking him in matches he doesn’t like (that type of douchebaggery fits Anderson much better), not the other way around! The schmoz was good, though.

Then, because he hasn’t been intolerable enough tonight, Sting completely takes the focus off of Bubba and Anderson by magically teleporting into the ring to raise Kurt’s hand.

Overall, this episode of Impact was very much TNA in a nutshell: Moronic stupidity at all levels, some sort of allergy to clean finishes in the main event, thrown-away gimmick matches given no time at all, major talent given nowhere near enough time (RVD vs. Gunner only went six minutes), and the only saving grace was the X-Division.

Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Taz (about Gunner)- “This athlete from Immortal; this guy manned a .50 caliber machine gun for the United States Marine Corps during the Iraqi Freedom Tour. This guy’s no joke”- Which is a skill I’m sure will come in handy at some point in his wrestling career. Okay, Taz. Now that you have managed to say something that is factually correct, why don’t you try clearing that oh-so hard to reach bar of minimum competency for an announcer by saying something that is both factually correct AND relevant.

[KILLdozer]

I think Taz's Machine gun comment is VERY relevant,,,it takes serious amount of strength to handle those 50 calibers,,,so it puts over Gunnar as very strong and physical

[KILLdozer]

yea,,Sting gimmick is ridiculous,,,Now hes got a suit on just like the joker too...Good god whats next? gonna hunt down the bat? he seemed more like Jim Carrey from Liar Liar when he told em he lied about being Exec

[cero2k]

the Destination X buys, was it 800 or 8'000??? either way it seems low

[Rabid619]

This whole episode pissed me off especially what they did with the main event. They're already in the ring ready to start the match then they give us a terrible segment. I'd say Impact is in danger of being dropped from SpikeTV if this crap keeps.

[Shogun Rua]

I fell asleep during impact. Why does "the network" makes many decisions?

[Rabid619]

I fell asleep during impact. Why does "the network" makes many decisions?

Since Impact is shown on its channel, they want to control what's shown on it to boost ratings. Haven't effect the ratings much yet....

[cero2k]

I fell asleep during impact. Why does "the network" makes many decisions?

Since Impact is shown on its channel, they want to control what's shown on it to boost ratings. Haven't effect the ratings much yet....

it's pretty much the same angle as in ECW

[KILLdozer]

This whole episode pissed me off especially what they did with the main event. They're already in the ring ready to start the match then they give us a terrible segment. I'd say Impact is in danger of being dropped from SpikeTV if this crap keeps.

no they wont be dropped,,,Pretty much the same thing BRM responded to ECW flairfan,,(I think thats his name),,Spike doesnt care what kind of wrestling they put on(Evidently),,,TNA brings the highest ratings out of anything so i Cant see them going anywheres

[Rabid619]

no they wont be dropped,,,Pretty much the same thing BRM responded to ECW flairfan,,(I think thats his name),,Spike doesnt care what kind of wrestling they put on(Evidently),,,TNA brings the highest ratings out of anything so i Cant see them going anywheres

They're going to go down in the ratings especially with the crap they're putting out now.

[Big Red Machine]

the Destination X buys, was it 800 or 8'000??? either way it seems low

8000. 800 would be absolutely pathetic (less than the average ROH in-house crowd).

To compare that to something, Slammiversary did about 8,500. ROH's Best in the World 2011 (which was all promoted when ROH didn't have any TV at all) did about 2,100.

[cero2k]

the Destination X buys, was it 800 or 8'000??? either way it seems low

8000. 800 would be absolutely pathetic (less than the average ROH in-house crowd).

To compare that to something, Slammiversary did about 8,500. ROH's Best in the World 2011 (which was all promoted when ROH didn't have any TV at all) did about 2,100.

in that case, you're missing a zero :p

[badnewzxl]

yeah; this episode left me scratching my head. I had no idea what the hell was going on.

They disappointed me with the Velvet segment; what BRM said is the exact reason the segment didn't work. TNA needs to stop forgetting what's happened on their show in the past bc the fans won't.

I like Bully Ray's selective cowardice; it's very true to the bully mentality. I also like him turning on Anderson (Anderson does not need to be in Immortal).

The Sting stuff was ALL stupid, but at least he's actually NOT the network representative. I figured the reason they DIDN'T jump him was bc HE WAS THE NETWORK EXEC; such actions would undoubtedly warrant some repercussions.

Gunner v. RVD was pretty good.

If Tara is still jumping her opponents, then it's now become a part of her character, lol. I think she's jumped her opposition three of the last five matches she's had on IMPACT.

[Big Red Machine]

I like Bully Ray's selective cowardice; it's very true to the bully mentality.

The problem with it is that it doesn't mesh with the "Bully Ray" character that we have seen up until recently. What happened the Bully Ray who was feuding with Devon and AJ? And if it is supposed to be the same... it makes AJ, Fortune, and Devon look weak, because Bully Ray wasn't afraid of them.

[KILLdozer]

yeah; this episode left me scratching my head. I had no idea what the hell was going on.

They disappointed me with the Velvet segment; what BRM said is the exact reason the segment didn't work. TNA needs to stop forgetting what's happened on their show in the past bc the fans won't.

I like Bully Ray's selective cowardice; it's very true to the bully mentality. I also like him turning on Anderson (Anderson does not need to be in Immortal).

The Sting stuff was ALL stupid, but at least he's actually NOT the network representative. I figured the reason they DIDN'T jump him was bc HE WAS THE NETWORK EXEC; such actions would undoubtedly warrant some repercussions.

Gunner v. RVD was pretty good.

If Tara is still jumping her opponents, then it's now become a part of her character, lol. I think she's jumped her opposition three of the last five matches she's had on IMPACT.

but about the Velvet thing..Isnt it understandable that she was a heel then and has "turned over a new leaf" now...but still regardless of that its a bit hard to listen to someone talk like her after doing the exact same thing shes upset about...But they need to keep pushing her as the new top face KO..its good when done right

yea bullys are known to say"Ill get you another time,punk" basically which is how Rays acting as a coward..yea stings crap is that...Crap...They didnt know he was network exec when he first came in,so that wouldve been time to demolish him...even if hes an authority figure heel stables in the past didnt care about attacking the boss

yea ive never liked Faces just jumpin a heel like that either..

Eric afraid of the crow was ridiculous...Just slap that bastard away man..."getcho ass outta here!"

and yea...I see some changes in the ray we saw then and now..Immortal shouldnt have any cowards really

yea..Gunnar v RVD was good except I thought Gunnar should have won..Cant wait to see him snap Crimsons streak

[badnewzxl]

I like Bully Ray's selective cowardice; it's very true to the bully mentality.

The problem with it is that it doesn't mesh with the "Bully Ray" character that we have seen up until recently. What happened the Bully Ray who was feuding with Devon and AJ? And if it is supposed to be the same... it makes AJ, Fortune, and Devon look weak, because Bully Ray wasn't afraid of them.

Ray WAS afraid of Devon. You don't remember him begging Devon for mercy before jumping him from behind and hurting his kids? Bully Ray has backed down just as much as he's "bullied;" just like a real bully. I agree with what you say about AJ, but I just chalk that up to the whole Veteran v. Youngster dynamic. Ray doesn't believe AJ even belongs in Ray's league, so he's not afraid of him at all. However, those Ray has encountered over the years and fought against/with for years (i.e. Devon, Dreamer, Steiner, etc) he's knows he can't bully them bc he doesn't have much of an upperhand in any way.

And, what he did last night didn't show him as being "afraid" at all; he was just bullying Anderson (whom he obviously dislikes a bit. Remember the way Ray delivered Anderson the ultimatum on joining Immortal a few weeks ago? Remember a week or two ago when he tried to stop Anderson from doing his trademark introduction before the duo faced Sting & Angle? And the end of the show made it obvious what they were going for: internal conflict within Immortal). I still think Ray's character is among the best heel characters in the business right now (next to Del Rio, Henry, and Aries) bc he doesn't get cheap heat; he's spose to be this big tough guy, but he backs away from a fight where the fans think he'll get his ass kicked. He jumped Devon from behind for weeks but whenever the odds were even, he tried to walk away. Not bc he's not over as being tough enough to endure the fight, but just bc he wants to beat people up; not have a fair fight. Just like a bully....

[Big Red Machine]

I like Bully Ray's selective cowardice; it's very true to the bully mentality.

The problem with it is that it doesn't mesh with the "Bully Ray" character that we have seen up until recently. What happened the Bully Ray who was feuding with Devon and AJ? And if it is supposed to be the same... it makes AJ, Fortune, and Devon look weak, because Bully Ray wasn't afraid of them.

Ray WAS afraid of Devon. You don't remember him begging Devon for mercy before jumping him from behind and hurting his kids? Bully Ray has backed down just as much as he's "bullied;" just like a real bully. I agree with what you say about AJ, but I just chalk that up to the whole Veteran v. Youngster dynamic. Ray doesn't believe AJ even belongs in Ray's league, so he's not afraid of him at all. However, those Ray has encountered over the years and fought against/with for years (i.e. Devon, Dreamer, Steiner, etc) he's knows he can't bully them bc he doesn't have much of an upperhand in any way.

I read him "begging" Devon the way that a lot of heels "beg." They do it to either stall for time, or to try to take advantage of the babyface's kindness (although in this particular situation, the latter seems ridiculous).

Your point about AJ makes sense, though, but then in order to make AJ look good, Bubba has to eventually become a afraid of him. Also, this whole character also doesn't mesh with the Bubba that we have known for the previous 14 years.

And, what he did last night didn't show him as being "afraid" at all; he was just bullying Anderson (whom he obviously dislikes a bit. Remember the way Ray delivered Anderson the ultimatum on joining Immortal a few weeks ago? Remember a week or two ago when he tried to stop Anderson from doing his trademark introduction before the duo faced Sting & Angle? And the end of the show made it obvious what they were going for: internal conflict within Immortal). I still think Ray's character is among the best heel characters in the business right now (next to Del Rio, Henry, and Aries) bc he doesn't get cheap heat; he's spose to be this big tough guy, but he backs away from a fight where the fans think he'll get his a** kicked. He jumped Devon from behind for weeks but whenever the odds were even, he tried to walk away. Not bc he's not over as being tough enough to endure the fight, but just bc he wants to beat people up; not have a fair fight. Just like a bully....

Your points about Bubba and Anderson are fair, but I don't think that the internal dissension makes sense for Immortal in this situation, because Hogan, whom all of the Immortal guys (Bubba especially, from his promos) have this tremendous respect for, worked so hard to get Anderson to join Immortal that Bubba bullying him seems disrespectful to Hogan. As for Bubba being one of the best heel characters in the business right now? I have to disagree. Del Rio is one of them, so is Aries. Another one is Steen (the man is trying to destroy two promotions!). Another one is Claudio. But Bubba? Not even close.

[badnewzxl]

Your points about Bubba and Anderson are fair, but I don't think that the internal dissension makes sense for Immortal in this situation, because Hogan, whom all of the Immortal guys (Bubba especially, from his promos) have this tremendous respect for, worked so hard to get Anderson to join Immortal that Bubba bullying him seems disrespectful to Hogan. As for Bubba being one of the best heel characters in the business right now? I have to disagree. Del Rio is one of them, so is Aries. Another one is Steen (the man is trying to destroy two promotions!). Another one is Claudio. But Bubba? Not even close.

I may be jumping the gun, but I was just under the impression that Ray is jealous of how much effort Hogan put in to getting Anderson to join, so Ray's trying to humble Anderson and let him know that no one is bigger than Hogan &Bischof in Immortal. Remember Anderson's promo the week after he joined? He said he was down so long as he was the figure head of the group. I suspect that before long (esp after what happened last night) that Anderson will leave the group. Which makes it obvious that they should have never had him join in the first place; at least not until after he lost the title....

[Big Red Machine]

Your points about Bubba and Anderson are fair, but I don't think that the internal dissension makes sense for Immortal in this situation, because Hogan, whom all of the Immortal guys (Bubba especially, from his promos) have this tremendous respect for, worked so hard to get Anderson to join Immortal that Bubba bullying him seems disrespectful to Hogan. As for Bubba being one of the best heel characters in the business right now? I have to disagree. Del Rio is one of them, so is Aries. Another one is Steen (the man is trying to destroy two promotions!). Another one is Claudio. But Bubba? Not even close.

I may be jumping the gun, but I was just under the impression that Ray is jealous of how much effort Hogan put in to getting Anderson to join, so Ray's trying to humble Anderson and let him know that no one is bigger than Hogan &Bischof in Immortal. Remember Anderson's promo the week after he joined? He said he was down so long as he was the figure head of the group. I suspect that before long (esp after what happened last night) that Anderson will leave the group. Which makes it obvious that they should have never had him join in the first place; at least not until after he lost the title....

While you could be correctly guessing the angle, they haven't actually said anything about it yet.

[badnewzxl]

Your points about Bubba and Anderson are fair, but I don't think that the internal dissension makes sense for Immortal in this situation, because Hogan, whom all of the Immortal guys (Bubba especially, from his promos) have this tremendous respect for, worked so hard to get Anderson to join Immortal that Bubba bullying him seems disrespectful to Hogan. As for Bubba being one of the best heel characters in the business right now? I have to disagree. Del Rio is one of them, so is Aries. Another one is Steen (the man is trying to destroy two promotions!). Another one is Claudio. But Bubba? Not even close.

I may be jumping the gun, but I was just under the impression that Ray is jealous of how much effort Hogan put in to getting Anderson to join, so Ray's trying to humble Anderson and let him know that no one is bigger than Hogan &Bischof in Immortal. Remember Anderson's promo the week after he joined? He said he was down so long as he was the figure head of the group. I suspect that before long (esp after what happened last night) that Anderson will leave the group. Which makes it obvious that they should have never had him join in the first place; at least not until after he lost the title....

True; for the record, I def don't consider Ray a TOP heel, but I think he's one of the best at creating heel heat (GOOD heel heat; he actually does specific things that make ppl hate him. He doesn't just talk shit.) He actually antagonizes the fans and the wrestlers; he's a solid heel, and besides the guys you mentioned, there aren't many others on that level. I think Bubba's up there with all those guys....IMO

While you could be correctly guessing the angle, they haven't actually said anything about it yet.