BRM Reviews the 7/19/2023 Dynamite (Blood & Bullsh*t finishes))

[Big Red Machine]

FTW TITLE MATCH: Hook(c) vs. Jack Perry- 7/10
For Jungle Boy’s entrance, they started playing Tarzan, then showed a video of him symbolically burying his old self in the desert before he showed up in the arena. I guess the arrogance of wanting to do something artsy for no reason other than to draw attention to this change you feel you have made in yourself fits with Jack’s new persona… but then again that persona is so generic that the inherent artsiness required for this sort of thing doesn’t feel like it’s there (as opposed to, for example, Cara Noir or Malakai Black or even someone like Darby Allin or Sting), so this came off to me as hokey.
They need to stop calling the FTW Title an “outlaw” or “renegade” championship. It worked in ECW because the belt was created by Taz because he was getting screwed out of the world title. In AEW, it’s just another belt. There is nothing special about it, and the announcers acknowledge it like they would any other title, except that they sometimes tell us that it’s an “outlaw championship.” The fact that they kept telling us that there is such a thing as an “FTW Rules match” but that this match isn’t one just hammers that home even more, as this supposedly “renegade” title is conforming to AEW’s rules in order to be defended in an AEW-sanctioned match.
I really hated Hook turning his back on Jungle Boy to do his usual entrance. He has spent the past few weeks trying to get his hands on Jungle Boy so badly that he has literally waited in the parking lot for him. He is the aggrieved babyface. He should be charging right at Jack. Trying to lure him in the way he did felt slightly heelish to me.
They pretty much immediately brawled into the crowd. This seems like someone trying to make a point about those new rules that got out. They had a great match with some really great bumps and babyface moments for Hook. Jack Perry cheated to win the title, in the process also end Hook’s years-long undefeated streak. This whole thing has been the perfect epitome for me of Tony Khan not knowing how to book a story beyond the bare basics of the tentpole moments. He’s like a Bizzaro-World version of Vince Russo. They approach things from completely opposite ends of the spectrum, and yet have the exact same weaknesses.

EARLIER TODAY, ALEX MARVEZ SPIED ON A SECRET MEETING BETWEEN DON CALLIS AND CHRIS JERICHO AT A DINER- bad
His camera was quickly shut down Callis’ security… which is good, because what he was doing is technically stalking, since he followed them across state lines to do it. Trying to spy on people having a secret meeting off-site doesn’t come off well to me. This isn’t major investigative journalism, it’s not police-work or intelligence services doing their thing. It’s just pro wrestling, and Marvez comes off like an asshole (especially with his “I’m so excited that I’m gonna get the big scoop!” attitude, as compared to the usual pro wrestling interviewer, who comes off like the person doing sideline interviews at a football game.

ADAM COLE & MJF VIDEO- ATROCIOUS
This was just horrid. They both came off like complete and total clowns. Also, it seemed to end with them drunkenly assaulting a waiter. All of that babyface likability Adam Cole had when he returned from his concussion is completely gone. These sketches might well go down in history as AEW’s version of turning Buff Bagwell heel when he returned from his neck injury.

MORE FOOTAGE FROM EARLIER TODAY OF ALEX MARVEZ TRYING TO GET THE SCOOP ON JERICHO AND CALLIS- bad
This time he’s in the arena parking lot. They get out of a limo. He asks them if a decision has been made. They call him an idiot and walk off, patting each other on the back. These are not live. If Marvez didn’t get the desired answer, why is AEW airing these?

BRITT BAKER vs. KAYLA SPARKS- squash

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS MJF & ADAM COLE- bad
They were clowns again. After they left, Roderick Strong showed up in a neck-brace and he felt like a clown by association.

AEW BLIND ELIMINATOR TOURNAMENT FINALS: Adam Cole & MJF vs. Jericho Appreciation Society (Daniel Garcia & Sammy Guevara)- 5.25/10
Chris Jericho came out to do commentary for this match. We started off with a dance-off, complete with music and disco lighting. “Sports-like presentation” my ass. On commentary, Jericho is crowing on about how this is such amazing “Sports Entertainment,” which is the thing fans are supposed to hate. Meanwhile, the crowd is going nuts for it.
Eventually we got a record-scratch sound, but Adam Cole- the only one here who is actually supposed to be a babyface- didn’t stop dancing, allowing his opponents to blind-side his team. What a f*cking moron. After all of that stupid sh*t, they wanted me to care about a serious match… that they tried to build around a double-clothesline, because of a dumb comedy gimmick that they have spent weeks building up. Cole and MJF won.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT #1- fine
Jericho went to “console” Garcia and Guevara, but they walked away from him, feeling that his (admittedly slightly condescending) consolation was unwelcome.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT #2- bad
Adam Cole- again… the guy who is supposed to be the babyface- grabbed a world title belt which did not belong to him and looked at it longingly… and we’re supposed to side with him when MJF became upset when he turned around and saw Cole holding and looking longingly at his title belt?
The fans wanted them to “HUG IT OUT!” and they did.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT #3- meh
FTR’s music hit, and they came out for the seemingly-obligatory stare-down with their challengers. Eventually MJF’s music played. Dax Harwood became upset and went to a camera and said “next time play our music, Tony. We’re the damn champs.” That might be true, but this is all following a match that MJF got the pinfall in. This made Dax look very petty.

RENEE PAQUETTE INTERVIEWS DARBY ALLIN, NICK WAYNE, BEST FRIENDS, KRIS STATLANDER, & ORANGE CASSIDY- snore
In our latest piece of “wait… what? Where the f*ck did that come from” AEW history, Darby Allin used to be homeless, but A.R. Fox took him in. It’s amazing how these guys are apparently such good friends, and yet we have never seen them interact once. Fox has been in the company for about six months at this point. Darby asks if Orange Cassidy could give Fox a shot at the AEW International Title. OC says OK, and Renee somehow knows that the match will take place next week.
Renee also mentioned that there is something called a “Royal Rampage” next week for a TNT Title shot (I guess it’s a battle royale) that Darby Allin and the 0-1 Nick Wayne will be in. Best Friends and Kris Statlander were essentially living props who just stood there so Renee could have an excuse to briefly mention that they will be in title matches. Them not speaking made said matches and titles feel completely unimportant. (In case anyone cares, Statlander will be defending her AEW TBS Title against Marina Shafir, who has done nothing to earn this shot, and Best Friends will be getting a shot at the ROH World Tag Team Titles that they have done nothing to earn. They haven’t even won a televised match in two and a half months).
Excalibur now knows A.R. Fox’s title shot will take place next week.
A shark mascot bothered the announcers because it’s Shark Week.

BLOOD & GUTS MATCH: The Elite & Kota Ibushi vs. Pac, Konosuke Takeshita, & Blackpool Combat Club (Jon Moxley, Claudio Castganoli, & Wheeler YUTA)- 6/10
The fans were chanting for Kenny and Claudio to use the other ring, because I guess they couldn’t see as well or something. Excalibur referred to the first two guys in as the “anchors” for their team, but isn’t the “anchor” in a relay race usually the person on each team who goes last, not first?
Callis came out to join the commentary team once the last member of Team BCC (Takeshita) entered the match.
They did weapons and violence to each other. People got slammed into broken glass. There was a board covered in nails that people got slammed into. At one point Ibushi knocked Moxley backwards onto it, then hit him with a standing moonsault, which gave Moxley an erection.
This was just more of the same teams doing weapons stuff to each other that we have seen doing weapons stuff to each other several times over the past few months in matches that have all been billed as huge deals but haven’t meant anything. Adding Pac and (especially) Ibushi into the mix doesn’t do much for me. Neither group has been likable, so it has been impossible for me to give a sh*t who won… and the crowd didn’t care either. They just cheered for spots and asked for tables and chanted “FIGHT FOREVER!”
Claudio and Pac got into an argument for some silly reason, and Pac grabbed bolt cutters, opened the cage door, and left. That’s right. The same Pac who was picked for the BCC because he so badly wanted revenge on Kenny Omega and the Elite for breaking his nose earlier this year… decided to forgo that, because he had a minor issue with Claudio. This, of course, distracted, the BCC, allowing the Elite (and, specifically, Omega) to make a comeback. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Takeshita just left as well (apparently because the match wasn’t going his team’s way), so the Elite got to beat the BCC up five on three and win… so once again, nothing was f*cking solved in a supposedly big match. All of that action before means nothing.

This was a bad show from AEW. I’m not going to pretend that the main event wasn’t very good for what it wanted to do (up until the finish), but it failed to do the most important thing, which was make me care, and the way the finish was handled has made it impossible for me to trust AEW when they push that a big match will be the resolution of a feud. The Adam Cole and MJF stuff was absolutely atrocious as well.