BRM Reviews the 12/23/2022 Smackdown (soul-crushing)

[Big Red Machine]

BLOODLINE PROMO- AWESOME!
While they were making their entrance, Wade Barrett referred to wind up in the tag match against Owens and Cena as “not an enforced error, but a hole that Roman Reigns fell into that was dug by Sami Zayn.” I thought that was good framing to sew seeds for an eventual Sami Zayn babyface turn.
Heyman announced Solo Sikoa vs. Sheamus for next week, then passed things off to Roman, who cut a great promo to build up next week’s big tag match. Roman then passed things off to Sami, who cut a tremendous promo, first starting out sounding like a total babyface about how he had found somewhere to belong, and then turning it in a heel direction with his hatred for Kevin Owens’ name being forever tied to his… and yet, because of last week’s promo, it feels like Sami doesn’t quite mean everything he is saying, and that he is overcompensating for his gaffe last week when said that he was Owens’ “only friend” before correcting it and saying that they were no longer friends.
And, for the purpose of looking into the hard-cam from as close as possible so as to make his message to Owens more direct, Sami stepped right in front of Roman, and suddenly we were looking at a scene blocked with Sami in the foreground, and Roman and Jimmy standing behind him like they were the subordinates.

WWE UNDISPUTED TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Usos(c) (w/Sami Zayn) vs. Hit Row (w/B-Fab)- 6/10
The Usos won cleanly.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS IMPERIUM (MINUS WALTER)- good build for their street fight.

They showed a recap of Xia Li attacking Tegan Nox in the crowd last week, and then showed us the “digital exclusive” footage from last week of Adam Pearce unmasking her, which was good, but it would have been nice to have an interview where she was asked why she attacked Tegan Nox last week instead of letting the announcers give us a vague explanation that she is bitter that she isn’t succeeding the way others have.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP GAUNTLET MATCH: Emma vs. Xia Li vs. Tegan Nox vs. Raquel Rodriguez vs. Liv Morgan vs. Sonya Deville- 3.75/10
Xia ran through Emma. Then Tegan Nox came out for her big change at revenge… and Xia ran right through her, too. Raquel Rodriguez was out next, with her arm in a brace after last week’s attack by the Horsewomen… and she is the one who beats Xia. This just made Emma and Tegan look bad.
Liv Morgan was in next and she and Raquel had what would have been a good match if Raquel had done a much better job of selling her arm. It felt like the big brace on her arm was basically irrelevant. I liked the idea of the finish (countering Oblivion into a Towerbomb), but Rodriguez didn’t get Liv up high enough for the “bomb” part to look very impactful.
The final entrant was Sonya Deville. She also worked on Raquel’s arm, but Raquel overcame it and won.
This was not good. Everything until Raquel was in flew by, Raquel’s selling was not good, and it didn’t feel like anyone else had even a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.
And then we got something that seemed to exist just to piss me off and make this worse:
Ronda Rousey came out and announced that there was one more entrant: Shayna Baszler. Why would Adam Pearce allow this? Baszler came out and attacked Raquel’s arm a bit, then got rolled up and pinned, making her look like an idiot. Ronda wanted to attack Raquel, but Raquel slipped away, and Ronda didn’t give chase because I guess she’s lazy.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- hated it
He says that he is clearly not Uncle Howdy, and that he deserves an apology. Then he lost his train of thought, so he randomly assaulted a cameraman. Adam Pearce and others came out to pull him off.
So after doing a big angle last week to make us doubt that Bray is dangerous, they now have him randomly assault someone, undoing everything they have tried to do with his story with L.A. Knight.
After a commercial break, we were told that Bray had been “removed from the area,” and that Adam Pearce consulting “global headquarters” to determine the correct course of action.

REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. ANGEL GARZA (w/Humberto Carrillo)- 4/10
They a segment from something called “Smackdown Low-Down” where the two youngsters confronted Rey and said he was the past and they were the future.
Karrion Kross and Scarlett were shown watching from the crowd. Rey won a match that was short, but perfect for what it was trying to do.

BRAUN STROWMAN & RICOCHET PROMO- very good

BACKSTAGE, EMMA CONFRONTS KARRION KROSS & SCARLETT ABOUT DISRESPECTING REY MYSTERIO AND ALSO HER BOYFRIEND- mostly good
Scarlett and Kross were great here, but I didn’t like the babyface initiating violence someone called her boyfriend such a low-grade insult like calling him a “fool.” Her body language and facial reactions were good, though.

JOHN CENA VIDEO PACKAGE- good… but then it just kept going… and going… and going

LACEY EVANS IS BACK NEXT WEEK- The footage of her military training was a good touch.

STREET FIGHT WITH A STUPID NAME: Braun Strowman & Ricochet vs. Imperium (Ludwig Kaiser & Giovani Vinci)- -4/10 (yup! It’s my first negative rating in quite a while.
Cole told us that WALTER was on vacation, so that explains why he isn’t here to interfere.
There was decent action for a bit, but then dumb sh*t kept happening. First, Imperium opened a box that had a ballerina in it, and she just danced away while music played over the PA. WHY WAS SHE THERE?!
Then they opened a another box, in which New Day were hiding, dressed like wooden soldiers. They walked right past Imperium as music played. I was hoping that Imperium would just punch them I the back of the head and knock them out. Unfortunately that didn’t happen. Instead, Imperium had to act confused, allowing New Day to punch them in the nuts for no reason. Braun then got up from under the tree he had been buried under and beat up Imperium. He tried to revive Ricochet… then grabbed some missile-toe and brought it and Ricochet over to the ring announcer, who kissed Ricochet to revive him. Cole said that she is Ricochet’s girlfriend. Wasn’t he with Kacy Catanzzarro? Or am I years behind on my gossip?
So yeah. The heels would have won, but some other people attacked them for no reason, then we got a bunch of stupid comedy until the end.


All of that optimism I had at the end of last week’s show is now gone, and I highly doubt I will keep watching after next week.