BRM Reviews the 4/26/2016 Impact (Sacrifice 2016)

[Big Red Machine]

Okay… that music that they had playing during their graphic for Chyna was WAY too happy.

SPUD & TYRUS CUT A PROMO- Tyrus wants his title match right now.
Apparently Spud is now Tyrus’ lackey, even though the only reason they were in a stable together in the first place was that Spud did not want EC III to be champion and he became loyal to Matt for showing him the light and reminding him of all of the terrible things that Ethan had done to him. And yet, now that Matt is no longer the champion and Ethan is no longer in the title picture, Spud has just decide to become a lackey to Matt’s other lackey to help him achieve a goal that we all know Matt would disapprove of.

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Tyrus (w/Rockstar Spud)- 6/10
They tried really hard and told a good story with Tyrus working over Drew’s ribs, but pretty much everything in that sequence leading up to the finish looked embarrassingly weak.

MARIA CUTS A POINTLESS PROMO INTO THE MIRROR ABOUT HOW SHE WILL TOTALLY RUN THE KNOCKOUTS DIVISON AND NO ONE CAN STOP HER, ESPEICALLY NOT GAIL KIM- pointless.

BEER MONEY BACKSTAGE- they muse about how weird and totally inappropriate Decay’s actions last week were. This was completely pointless. They once again emphasized that no one knows what the rules of the “Valley of Shadows” match are. So did TNA not even ask Decay what the rules are?
Roode says that Beer Money aren’t used to No DQs matches. I’m calling total bullsh*t on that.

MARIA & GAIL SEGMENT-
Maria starts to cut a promo about how she proved everyone wrong and she is the boss now. Gail comes out and says that Maria being in charge of the division undoes everything the Knockouts have worked so hard to achieve. HOW? Hell… she’s got a lot more experience than either Brooke Hogan or Karen Jarrett and I didn’t see any babyfaces say them being in charge of the division was ruining everything.
Gail says that Maria was the one behind Decay kidnapping her. She also says that Decay tortured her. Too bad TNA doesn’t have the balls to show something like that on TV, and Gail seems perfectly fine this week so it doesn’t really seem to have had any effect on her, physically or emotionally. That’s TNA for you: throwing out accusations of torture that they won’t actually show while simultaneously having the babyface no-selling said torture and then expecting us to care.
Gail says she wants to beat Maria up but Maria threatens to “take professional wrestling away” if Gail does. What is she going to do? Fire Gail? Fine. There are other places Gail can work (and make more money).

GAIL KIM vs. ROSEMARY (w/Crazzy Steve)- 4.5/10
Rosemary wins after a distraction by Maria.

ELI DRAKE BACKSTAGE PROMO- Why do they feel the need to do these promos to tell us “this is what is about to happen after the commercial” instead of just giving time to the matches?

JEFF HARDY IS HERE- he’s still selling from last week’s match, so that’s good.

THE FACTS OF LIFE WITH ELI DRAKE- painful.
He had Bro-Mans came out and called people dummies a lot. Then Bro-Mans called him a douchebag. Look… I’m probably one of the biggest supporters Eli Drake has, and even I thought this was completely intolerable.

ABYSS PROMO- another stupid, pointless promo to build up this match that no one has any idea what it is.

EC III PROMO- boring. I don’t give a sh*t about his streak and I don’t want to hear him talking calmly. If you want to cut a promo, cut a fiery one.

VALLEY OF SHADOWS MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: Beer Money(c) vs. Decay (w/Rosemary)- 6.75/10
No one told JB what the rules are, either, so he just announces that this is a “Valley of Shadows” match. This is f*cking idiotic. Obviously it’s f*cking stupid to have a match that you can’t promote in any way because no one knows the rules, but think about this for a minute from a completely kayfabe point of view for a moment: TNA management signed off on a match with NO IDEA what the rules would be, and is now putting it on live television. Even under “normal” circumstances they are opening themselves up to completely screwing over the fans in case the rules of the match are “first team to say the word ‘baseball’ wins” or something ridiculous like that that a heel could do, but this is f*cking DECAY we’re talking about here! For all we know this could be a literal fight to the death, or a match where you have to win by murdering fans or molesting a referee or something… and TNA doesn’t even ask them what the rules are before putting it on the air?!
So the bell rings and they just start brawling. Yeah. Apparently what makes this match different is that it’s No DQs and there is a (as Josh put it) “very Decay-esque lighting effect.” Yeah. So TNA booked a gimmick match where the gimmick is TNA INTENTIONALLY MAKING THEIR PRODUCT LOOK BAD! Remember when everyone used to criticize the lighting in ROH (because they couldn’t afford any better) and say it made them look minor league? Well now TNA IS DOING THAT ON PURPOSE!
To make matters worse, this lighting didn’t affect the match in the slightest. This was a weapons match, no different than any other weapons match you’ve seen involving Abyss, which is something we see on at least a monthly basis. So this just begs the question… WHY NOT JUST CALL IT A NO DQ’S MATCH OR A MONSTER’S BALL AND JUST LET IT BE? Why waste time with this whole “no one knows what the rules to this match are?” crap when all it does is make the company look kayfabe dumb, neuter your ability to promote the match, and inevitably set fans up to be disappointed because you have implicitly promised them something new and are instead delivering something completely ordinary? This company is so f*cking stupid it makes me want to scream.
And the cherry on top of all of this is that Roode is leaving the company… so not only does Decay not beat him clean, but they also kicked out of JAMES STORM’S big beer bottle to the head finish.

BRAM PROMO- he says he “couldn’t give two craps” about the fact that EY cut his beard off. Well… that was dumb. The rest of the promo was great, but that part was just SOOOO dumb because it made the whole beard-cutting angle (which is what Josh and Pope were focusing on) completely pointless.

MICHAEL BENNETT PROMO- great

TNA KING OF THE MOUNTAIN TITLE MATCH: Eric Young(c) vs. Bram- 6.25/10
Josh is still going on about the beard even though we just heard Bram say he doesn’t give a crap about it. It’s like they don’t even check the show before they send the tape out.
Oh. Apparently this is a No DQs match, too. That makes THREE for this show. They do stuff. It was decent. Also, apparently this match was Falls Count Anywhere, too. It’s always nice to learn that right as the final pin is being made.

DREW GALLOWAY PROMO- good
He wants Lashley next week.

JEFF HARDY, REBY SKY, & SPUD SEGMENT- okay
Jeff came out and cut a promo on Matt. Then Reby and Spud came out. They say Jeff will pay for what he has done. Apparently, Matt is now “cold” and “filled with hate.” Reby spat at Jeff and slapped him. Spud attacked his injured leg from behind… but of course Jeff fought back and laid him out with a Twist of Fate because G-d forbid we actually get some heat for this feud.

MATCH MUST END BY PINFALL OR SUBMISSION: Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett (w/Maria Kanellis-Bennett)- 6.5/10
The match was okay. Bennett won via the Bret-Austin Survivor Series finish, but I’m certain they’re going to find some way to claim his shoulder wasn’t up to protect this stupid streak because that’s what they do, but hopefully they won’t and this stupid streak will be over and done with forever.

A frustrating episode of Impact, although the in-ring action was decent.

[cero2k]

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Tyrus (w/Rockstar Spud)- 6/10
They tried really hard and told a good story with Tyrus working over Drew’s ribs, but pretty much everything in that sequence leading up to the finish looked embarrassingly weak.
Really disappointed this is how they used the Tyrus title shot, I knew from the start it would be just a job for whoever was the champ, but it could have been better used, or at least have Tyrus get some wins before.

MARIA CUTS A POINTLESS PROMO INTO THE MIRROR ABOUT HOW SHE WILL TOTALLY RUN THE KNOCKOUTS DIVISON AND NO ONE CAN STOP HER, ESPEICALLY NOT GAIL KIM- pointless.
Maria talking is never pointless

BRAM PROMO- he says he “couldn’t give two craps” about the fact that EY cut his beard off. Well… that was dumb. The rest of the promo was great, but that part was just SOOOO dumb because it made the whole beard-cutting angle (which is what Josh and Pope were focusing on) completely pointless.
worst thing is that a beard vs beard match would be a great way to write Eric Young out of TNA. But I agree that at this point it's secondary if you have a title on the line (this is something that pisses me off about Lucha, doing hair vs hair matches with title holders, hair is more important than titles, but don't mix them up on purpose)


JEFF HARDY, REBY SKY, & SPUD SEGMENT- okay
Jeff came out and cut a promo on Matt. Then Reby and Spud came out. They say Jeff will pay for what he has done. Apparently, Matt is now “cold” and “filled with hate.” Reby spat at Jeff and slapped him. Spud attacked his injured leg from behind… but of course Jeff fought back and laid him out with a Twist of Fate because G-d forbid we actually get some heat for this feud.
Have you seen the picture of the new Matt Hardy? he looks amazing, like mad scientist amazing

MATCH MUST END BY PINFALL OR SUBMISSION: Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett (w/Maria Kanellis-Bennett)- 6.5/10
The match was okay. Bennett won via the Bret-Austin Survivor Series finish, but I’m certain they’re going to find some way to claim his shoulder wasn’t up to protect this stupid streak because that’s what they do, but hopefully they won’t and this stupid streak will be over and done with forever.
They already said that the streak is broken, so that's it. I'm glad that it was to Bennett and i'm ok with it being a roll-up of sorts.

[Big Red Machine]

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Tyrus (w/Rockstar Spud)- 6/10
They tried really hard and told a good story with Tyrus working over Drew’s ribs, but pretty much everything in that sequence leading up to the finish looked embarrassingly weak.
Really disappointed this is how they used the Tyrus title shot, I knew from the start it would be just a job for whoever was the champ, but it could have been better used, or at least have Tyrus get some wins before.
Eh. Tyrus is a size-guy so he doesn't necessarily need the wins to feel like a threat. Already earned his title shot and they did an angle last week which they followed up on this week. I thought it was a fine use of him. I'm not saying I wouldn't have enjoyed them jobbing EY out to him, but Tyrus is pretty low-priority for them right now. Who would you have him beat that would actually matter? Ethan? Bennett? Jeff? Storm? Abyss? Roode? Lashley? These are the guys that matter in TNA right now (obviously excluding Matt, and also The Wolves and Decay as full units) and none of them were in a spot where it made sense to job them out. What TNA did with Tyrus here was the right move.


JEFF HARDY, REBY SKY, & SPUD SEGMENT- okay
Jeff came out and cut a promo on Matt. Then Reby and Spud came out. They say Jeff will pay for what he has done. Apparently, Matt is now “cold” and “filled with hate.” Reby spat at Jeff and slapped him. Spud attacked his injured leg from behind… but of course Jeff fought back and laid him out with a Twist of Fate because G-d forbid we actually get some heat for this feud.
Have you seen the picture of the new Matt Hardy? he looks amazing, like mad scientist amazing
Haven't seen it

MATCH MUST END BY PINFALL OR SUBMISSION: Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett (w/Maria Kanellis-Bennett)- 6.5/10
The match was okay. Bennett won via the Bret-Austin Survivor Series finish, but I’m certain they’re going to find some way to claim his shoulder wasn’t up to protect this stupid streak because that’s what they do, but hopefully they won’t and this stupid streak will be over and done with forever.
They already said that the streak is broken, so that's it. I'm glad that it was to Bennett and i'm ok with it being a roll-up of sorts.

[cero2k]

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Tyrus (w/Rockstar Spud)- 6/10
They tried really hard and told a good story with Tyrus working over Drew’s ribs, but pretty much everything in that sequence leading up to the finish looked embarrassingly weak.
Really disappointed this is how they used the Tyrus title shot, I knew from the start it would be just a job for whoever was the champ, but it could have been better used, or at least have Tyrus get some wins before.
Eh. Tyrus is a size-guy so he doesn't necessarily need the wins to feel like a threat. Already earned his title shot and they did an angle last week which they followed up on this week. I thought it was a fine use of him. I'm not saying I wouldn't have enjoyed them jobbing EY out to him, but Tyrus is pretty low-priority for them right now. Who would you have him beat that would actually matter? Ethan? Bennett? Jeff? Storm? Abyss? Roode? Lashley? These are the guys that matter in TNA right now (obviously excluding Matt, and also The Wolves and Decay as full units) and none of them were in a spot where it made sense to job them out. What TNA did with Tyrus here was the right move.
I just didn't feel that Tyrus was the monster he should have been by the time he cashed in the shot. If it had been ECIII or Hardy, just the size would be enough, but with Galloway, I felt he needed more than just being a big dude.


JEFF HARDY, REBY SKY, & SPUD SEGMENT- okay
Jeff came out and cut a promo on Matt. Then Reby and Spud came out. They say Jeff will pay for what he has done. Apparently, Matt is now “cold” and “filled with hate.” Reby spat at Jeff and slapped him. Spud attacked his injured leg from behind… but of course Jeff fought back and laid him out with a Twist of Fate because G-d forbid we actually get some heat for this feud.
Have you seen the picture of the new Matt Hardy? he looks amazing, like mad scientist amazing
Haven't seen it
character wise, this could be amazing

Hidden text.

[Big Red Machine]

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Tyrus (w/Rockstar Spud)- 6/10
They tried really hard and told a good story with Tyrus working over Drew’s ribs, but pretty much everything in that sequence leading up to the finish looked embarrassingly weak.
Really disappointed this is how they used the Tyrus title shot, I knew from the start it would be just a job for whoever was the champ, but it could have been better used, or at least have Tyrus get some wins before.
Eh. Tyrus is a size-guy so he doesn't necessarily need the wins to feel like a threat. Already earned his title shot and they did an angle last week which they followed up on this week. I thought it was a fine use of him. I'm not saying I wouldn't have enjoyed them jobbing EY out to him, but Tyrus is pretty low-priority for them right now. Who would you have him beat that would actually matter? Ethan? Bennett? Jeff? Storm? Abyss? Roode? Lashley? These are the guys that matter in TNA right now (obviously excluding Matt, and also The Wolves and Decay as full units) and none of them were in a spot where it made sense to job them out. What TNA did with Tyrus here was the right move.
I just didn't feel that Tyrus was the monster he should have been by the time he cashed in the shot. If it had been ECIII or Hardy, just the size would be enough, but with Galloway, I felt he needed more than just being a big dude.
I see what you're saying, but I don't think they ever really got Tyrus over as a monster in the first place. If he was Abyss or Kane this would bother me more. Tyrus was always a large lackey and that's it. I think he got a role perfectly in line with his spot on the card. In lieu of the major size advantage he would have over a guy like Hardy, they used the rib injury to make him a threat and had a match that revolved around that point (a large part of which consisted of Tyrus using his size to work over the ribs).



JEFF HARDY, REBY SKY, & SPUD SEGMENT- okay
Jeff came out and cut a promo on Matt. Then Reby and Spud came out. They say Jeff will pay for what he has done. Apparently, Matt is now “cold” and “filled with hate.” Reby spat at Jeff and slapped him. Spud attacked his injured leg from behind… but of course Jeff fought back and laid him out with a Twist of Fate because G-d forbid we actually get some heat for this feud.
Have you seen the picture of the new Matt Hardy? he looks amazing, like mad scientist amazing
Haven't seen it
character wise, this could be amazing

Hidden text.

Eh. Could be good, but it looks more to me like Doc Brown than it does someone who has been driven insane by/become dangerously obsessed with his hatred.