BRM Reviews the 10/14/2015 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

The groups we learn about today are:

GROUP X-DIVISION:
Tigre Uno
Manik
Mandrews
DJ Zema Ion

GROUP FUTURE 4 (yes, they really gave it that stupid a name):
Eli Drake
Mycah
Jessie Godderz
Crimson (yes, Crimson is in the “future” group. The same Crimson who had a fifteen month long undefeated streak in TNA, which was snapped OVER THREE YEARS AGO).

GROUP TNA ORIGINALS:
Robert Roode
Abyss
Eric Young
James Storm (who is the only guy of these who has actually been in TNA since the beginning)

GROUP TAG TEAM SPECIALISTS:
Eddie Edwards
Davey Richards
Matt Hardy
Robbie E.
One of these things is not like the others.
One of these things just doesn’t belong…




The more I learn about them, the more I HATE these groups. They’re SOOOOOO f*cking arbitrary! Why is Mandrews in with the X-Division guys and not the UK guys, while Spud is in with the UK guys instead of the X-Division? Why is Crazzy Steve or Kenny King in with Wild Card group and not the X-Division? Why aren’t any of the TNA Originals group not in the Former World Champions group?
The problem is that the way they have them labeled these groups and the way they hype them up is based around the idea that they’re not arbitrary at all. It would have been SOOO much better to just have the groups done completely at random.

ROBBIE E CUTS A PROMO ON ROB GRONKOWSKI- well… that was a pointless waste of time. What do you think the odds are that Gronk will actually accept this challenge for a match on Impact? Or even show up at all? You know… like what happened a few months ago when Tigre Uno challenged Donald Trump to show up on Impact. And more importantly: if Gronk does show, will Mojo Rawley do a run-in?

WORLD TITLE SERIES GROUP TAG TEAM SPECIALISTS MATCH: Matt Hardy(0) vs. Davey Richards(0)- 7/10
They once again cut to a split-screen for these dumb “round-table” discussions. Neither guy said anything important in any way at all, and it almost made me miss Matt Hardy do an awesome counter to Davey’s diving headbutt.

X-DIVISION ROUND TABLE- none of these are particularly interesting, but at least they didn’t cut away from a match for it.

WORLD TITLE SERIES GROUP WILD CARD MATCH: Kenny King(0) vs. Aiden O’Shea(0)- 4/10
They had a round table with all of the guys in the group. King and O’Shea cut bad promos (Kenny’s was debatably racist), Shera said his name, and Crazzy Steve sounded his horn. Why is Crazzy Steve still employed? You’re telling they could find a spot monkey on the indies who doesn’t have an embarrassing gimmick to bring in?

ERIC YOUNG PROMO- he is a stark raving madman, and not in an entertaining way.

DAVEY RICHARDS PROMO- fine

GROUP TNA OLYMPICS ROUND TABLE- bad.
EY tells Roode that “if” they meet, Roode won’t make it out of the first round, showing us that he doesn’t understand the rules of the tournament. Storm said something similar to Abyss, meaning that he doesn’t understand the rules, either.

WORLD TITLE SERIES GROUP TNA ORIGINALS MATCH: Abyss(0) vs. Eric Young(0)- 6.5/10

EC III INTERVIEW LIVE VIA SKYPE- so Ethan doesn’t have to show up for work? Or they couldn’t get him “live via satellite” like a real promotion would, avoiding the annoying distortions in voice and movement?

EY PROMO- Just when I thought that Eric couldn’t get any more annoying he’s now raving that there is a conspiracy against him.

ABYSS PROMO- eh.

WORLD TITLE SERIES GROUP TAG TEAM SPECIALISTS MATCH: Eddie Edwards(0) vs. Robbie E.(0)- 6/10
More boring roundtable stuff, but at least this time they didn’t cut to a split screen while anything too exciting was happening. Wait… now there’ cutting to it a second time? STOP IT!
ROBBIE E. WON?! WHAT THE F*CK?! Whatever underdog story you want to tell with Robbie E. is not worth him beating either the tag champions or the rightful world champion.

BOBBY ROODE PROMO- fine.

ROBBIE E. PROMO- fine

EDDIE EDWARDS PROMO- fine

FUTURE GUYS ROUND TABLE- boring.

WORLD TITLE SERIES GROUP WILD CARD MATCH: Mahabali Shera(0) vs. Crazzy Steve(0)- DUD!
Short and had too much dumb Crazzy Steve crap.

WORLD TITLE SERIES GROUP TNA ORIGINALS MATCH: James Storm (0) vs. Bobby Roode(0)- 7.5/10

I was really enjoying this show until about a third of the way through it. The wrestling was almost all good, but the show just got so repetitive. We got the same questions asked all night with basically the same answers a million times in a row and the same things happening and by half-way though the show I was ready for it to end. TNA really needs to do something (maybe change the format up a bit).


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Pope (about Aiden O’Shea)- “He’s got a lot of Irish in him, so you know all he likes to do is fight!”
Hooray for the casual propagation of negative stereotypes!