ROBBIE ISN’T COMPETING BECAUSE HE LOST TO BROOKE LAST WEEK- It’s good that Robbie is showing that last week’s loss has affected him, but why is he just allowed to have Zema Ion wrestle in his place- especially in a title match.
ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The Wolves(c) vs. the Revolution (Manik & Sanada) vs. Bro-Mans (DJ Zema Ion & Jesse Godderz) (w/Angelina Love)- 5/10
How, exactly, did the Bro-Mans (in ANY incarnation) earn a tag team title shot? And the same question goes for Manik & Sanada. Josh says that it is “good strategy by James Storm” to send Manik and Sanada to wrestle this match… so TNA management just said “hey James, send any two of your guys out for the match?” Does TNA management give a sh*t about the integrity of their titles?
Anyway, this was a complete and total waste of what was once TNA’s signature gimmick match, and it’s made even worse by the fact that, with proper build, Ultimate X was a gimmick that TNA could have salvaged and made special again. Believe it or not, this was the first Ultimate X match in TNA (not counting the One Night Only show from last year which no one saw and has never been acknowledged) SEVENTEEN MONTHS. If they had actually taken the time to build Ultimate X up properly, they could have made it seem like a big deal. But no. We had to have a random Ultimate X match with no hype in which the champs defended the titles against two completely unworthy teams. Because they think that will somehow get them ratings. This company sucks.
AUSTIN ARIES & THE BDC SEGMENT- good idea, but bad storytelling.
Josh tells us that Aries doesn’t have his Feast or Fired Briefcase with him because the BDC stole it “a couple of weeks ago.” Both Aries and the BDC have been on TV since then, and in that time THIS HAS NEVER BEEN MENTIONED ONCE. I had completely forgotten about it (I guess it must have happened back during that episode where the BDC were beating people up so that MVP could face Lashley without any interference).
Wait. No. Now Aries is saying that it happened when they put him through a table, putting him out of action for two weeks. This was something else I had completely forgotten about. In fact, I didn’t even realize that Aries was missing. I don’t think it was even mentioned once. Can you image this happening in WWE or ROH or Lucha Underground? Of course not! If we’re supposed to care about something, those companies will show replays or talk the thing up or reference it in backstage segments or do SOMETHING to remind us about this important event that happened.
OH LOOK! Now Aries cares that the BDC screwed him out of the X-Division Title! IT’S BEEN OVER TWO MONTHS! Why start caring now?
When we finally got to the part where Aries challenged Ki to a title vs. briefcase match and Ki declined and had Joe jump Aries, that was good, but it was all totally killed by their inability to follow up on important things after they happen.
AUSTIN ARIES vs. SAMOA JOE (w/Low Ki)- 6.75/10
A very good match, until it ended in a DQ. Why? To set up the…
THE MOSTLY TERRIBLE POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Joe and Ki beat Aries down. Joe holds Aries for a briefcase shot, but Aries avoids it and Ki accidentally hits Joe. Aries then takes Ki out. Then Spud comes out and cashes in his briefcase to win the X-Division Title.
Look. I’m not objecting to Spud winning the title, and certainly not objecting to Spud winning the title in the UK. I’m objecting to the set-up.
You just did an angle where Ki promised Aries a briefcase vs. title match if Aries beat Joe. Joe’s contract is up and he has yet to resign… so why not have Aries beat him clean? We would actually get a clean finish, and you could do the same deal with Ki jumping Aries after the match. Then you could have Spud come out and save Aries and have Spud be the one to knock Ki out, so that Spud is actually doing his own work to win the title.
Aries can still get his briefcase back and Spud is still the champion, but Aries gets a clean win and Spud comes out of it not looking like someone who got lucky, but rather looking like someone who actually did something. If you wanted to, you could even use this to set up Ki winning the title back from Spud at the next tapings, then using the fact that Aries beat Joe here to force Aries into accepting a title vs briefcase match so that Ki has another chance to get the briefcase back from Aries, and also so that we avoid the problem of Aries being unhappy that the X-Division Title was stolen from him and saying that he wants it back... but now for some reason being perfectly happy to let Spud have it.
HARDY’S REVENGE COMMERCIAL- why not have Matt cut a promo announcing this, and THEN air the commercial? Make it feel like it's an important PART OF THE SHOW, and not just an out of continuity commercial.
BRAM & MAGNUS BRAWL-
They started the brawl in one room. Then it spilled into a second room, at which point Josh Matthews declared that they were brawling “all over London.” Josh then informed us that this was the “inner bowels of Wembley Arena.” You know. As opposed to the bowels that are outside.
Taz claimed that Bram had Magnus “hogtied” last week. Yes. Because hogs are normally restrained by merely tying one of their forelegs to the ground. This is likely because Taz forgot the words “Zip Tie,” which we know he forgot because he referred to it was “one of those plastic gimmicks.” This commentary was not re-recorded.
Their brawl was good, and so was Magnus’ short promo, and I didn’t even have a problem with Mickie James also coming out to get some revenge, except that it was completely at odds with the way she was portrayed last week. Last week she was just a helpless damsel in distress who couldn’t free herself or even struggle when Bram mere had one arm wrapped around her, but this week she’s Mickie James pro-wrestler again, throwing kicks and raining punches down on Bram’s head.
This ended when Magnus powerbombed Bram on the ramp. So the babyface go his revenge in his hometown and I guess the feud is over. Curiously neither Taz nor Josh went nuts about Magnus breaking “the code” like they did when EY hit Bobby Roode with a big move on the ramp. And before you accuse me of being facetious or being overly-harsh, let me share a story with you:
One of the first angles I saw when I discovered TNA in late 2005 was Samoa Joe attacks Christopher Daniels after a match, brutally bloodying him, and thus “breaking the X-Division Code” to not try to hurt other wrestlers after the match. This was a big enough sin that TNA X-Division Champion AJ Styles, Daniels’ archrival, actually called Joe out and offered him an X-Division Title match just so he could get his hands on Joe and punish him for breaking the code. As a result of this, I assumed that the X-Division Code was an important thing, and was thus completely baffled that it was not brought up the next time someone one X-Division wrestler jumped another after a match. And the time after that. And the time after that.
TNA EMPLOYEES PREDICT WHO WILL WIN TONIGHT’S MAIN EVENT- bad, simply because they interviewed six TNA, and of those six, only two actually offered a prediction. And one of those was Mike Tenay who said “Kurt Angle’s experience factor enables him to once again become a world champion.” Is this man completely incapable of talking like a normal person? Or could he at least talk about it in the future tense?
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Taryn Terrell(c) vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim- 6.75/10
Two weeks ago Kong got DQed in a title match. Why is she getting another title shot? Gail’s last match was also a Knockouts Title match which she lost.
Josh asks Taz whether Kong’s rage will cost her the title once again, which would be fine except that this is a triple threat match in which there are (unfortunately) no disqualification, so I don’t really see how this will be a factor.
You know how Taz will put someone over by referring to them as “credible” (because he’s a f*cking moron)? Well this week he not only told us that Gail was “very credible,” but called her “the most credible Knockout in the history of TNA, and arguably in the business.” I hate Taz. Also, I’d imagine that somewhere in a dark gym in Orlando, Sara Del Rey watches this, and then angrily destroys her TV with a vicious kick.
Josh is pushing how far Taryn has come since being a mere referee and she is coming out here smiling and proudly displaying the title that she worked so hard for, and getting a great pop from the crowd… This woman has got to be, at the very least, the fifth-best smiling, happy babyface in wrestling right how (behind 1) Sami Zayn, 2) Alexa Bliss, and 3) Daniel Bryan, and also maybe Hiroshi Tanahashi)
Hidden text.
To press that babyface point home, Josh tells us that Taryn said that feels that she needs to beat Kong to validate her reign as Knockouts Champion. Fine. Then why not HAVE HER SAY THAT IN A PROMO (then maybe give Kong a win on TV the same week as the promo) and you’ve set up a reason for Kong to get another title shot. But that doesn’t explain why Gail is in this match.So you know that spot where the one smaller guy does a crossbody to a large dude but the large dude just catches him, but then another smaller guy comes in and does a dropkick to the back of the first small guy, creating the force necessary to knock the big guy over and “complete” the crossbody? Well they did that spot here, except instead of have Kong go down, she just bodyslammed Taryn down right onto Gail when Gail hit the mat after executing the dropkick. Awesome and brilliant!
I loved the match. Like the Taryn vs. Kong match two weeks ago, the psychology was great. Taryn and Gail were great babyfaces and Kong was a fantastic monster. Unfortunately, though, this match was brought down by a few spots that just plain looked bad (in particular Kong’s kick-out on that double-pin spot looked so phony). I also felt that Kong kicking out of the Taryn Cutter should have been saved for a singles match between the two, but oh well.
JAMES STORM PROMO- Apparently he and Matt are having a No DQ’s match this week. I don’t remember if they announced this last week or not, but it doesn’t really even matter if they don’t mention it at all on this week’s show.
ANGLE VS. LASHLEY VIDEO PACKAGE- stupid and goofy. Also, TNA clearly doesn’t know what the phrase “checks and balances” means. It completely contradicts the message of the rest of this video package, which was “survival of the fittest,” which came across as SOOO goofy that the only way it could have worked was if it was promoting the return of “The Alpha Male” Monty Brown (which, for the record, I would so totally be on board with).
A CAMERAMAN INTERVIEWS KURT ANGLE- Kurt says it’s been over a year since he had a world title match. I knew that this was true, but I suspected it had been longer than that, so I wanted to see how long it had been, and it turns out it’s been almost two whole years since he had a world title match, and almost two and a half years since he had one on TV or PPV. WOW!
NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: Matt Hardy vs. James Storm (w/the Revolution)- 5.5/10
While the rating I gave the match reflects the action and storytelling in the match, I thought that doing this match the way they did (or even at all) was a mistake. If next week is being billed as “Hardy’s revenge” on James Storm then they really shouldn’t have had a match in which a Hardy tries to get revenge on James Storm. Abyss would have worked perfectly fine in this spot, and that would also set up for Storm to interfere and do something heinous to Matt to add more fuel to the Hardys vs. Revolution feud. I mean… why give Matt a visual pin on Storm here? Or really any big offensive moves at all. All it does is lessen the impact of Jeff getting his hands on Storm next week.
If you’re going to do Matt vs. Storm (perhaps Matt is willing to accept a No DQ’s match even though the deck is so obviously stack against him because he wants revenge for Jeff so much), then just have the Revolution completely destroy him in a few minutes while Storm just stands there and laughs (and this way you also have time that you can add to the main event or the Knockouts match, or to do a video package or a promo or even just a news update to follow up on last week’s EY vs. Bobby Roode match or Kenny King hitting Drew Galloway in the head with a steel pipe).
The other thing that I didn’t like about this match was the inconsistency of the Revolutions’ interference. They’ll interfere when Matt is about to hit Storm with a regular leg drop, but when he’s about to hit Storm with a leg drop when Storm is lying on a pile of thumbtacks, they’ll just stand there? Abyss literally would not have had to move other than just reaching up to grab Matt’s leg!
KURT ANGLE STEALS GOLDBERG’S ENTRANCE- and against the big muscular bald guy who uses a spear as a finisher. Huh. Kurt’s bald, too, isn’t he?
And now Lashley is stealing Brock Lesnar’s jumping up and down gimmick.
Before the main event started, Josh told us to “Just let your inner dialogue take over. Nobody can tell the story better than you can.”- THEN WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU AND TAZ EVEN EMPLOYED?! To make things even worse, there was no reason for Josh to say this. It’s not like they were doing the old ROH gimmick where for certain VERY special matches the announcers would decide half-way through that they wanted to go experience the amazing atmosphere in the crowd and let us enjoy the wrestling in peace. Josh just said this out of nowhere for no reason.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Kurt Angle- 7.75/10
Yeah, it was great, but it definitely didn’t live up to the hype. It did seem like it would have been better if we got to see the stuff that happened during the commercials as well, but even with that, it wouldn’t have been anything close to what people where hyping up. They had the big-match atmosphere, but the in-ring action didn't deliver at a big-match level.
A pretty good show from TNA, but there was a lot of stuff that really could have been handled better.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Josh claimed that the world title match predictions video package was “split 50/50” as to who would win, which shows us that Josh didn’t even watch the video package because of the six people interviewed, four gave no answer at all, and the other two chose Kurt. Again… this commentary wasn’t recorded.
2. Taz- “Those that are fans for a long time of TNA know the history of when someone like Abyss holds up a bag of something, nine out of ten times- TEN out of ten times- it’s those big sharp tacks.”
Actually, someone who has been a fan of TNA for a long time will remember the period of time when Abyss’ bags were often filled with shards of broken glass instead of tacks. Way to not know your history, Taz. And, ironically, if he had just left it at “nine out of ten times,” he’d have been correct.
3. Josh talks up how both guys had extensive amateur backgrounds before getting into pro wrestling. For Kurt he obviously talked about the 1996 Olympic Gold Medal. For Lashley, he talked about Lashley’s MMA competition which 1) isn’t amateur, and 2) he started AFTER he was a pro wrestler. NONE of Lashley’s college wrestling championships are inter-army wrestling accomplishments were mentioned.
4. Taz explains to us that sometimes the referee will give more leeway in a world title match, and that’s why Brian Hebner wasn’t counting for a count-out. Unfortunately for Taz, he said this AFTER Hebner finally decided to start counting.
5. Taz’ reason for the above was that it wouldn’t be good “for the title to be retained or given up by count-out.”
Seeing as how he is a former main event wrestler and has been an announcer for over a decade now, you’d think that Taz would know that the world title cannot change hands on a count-out.