BRM Reviews the 3/4/2015 Lucha Underground

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING VIDEO RECAP- did a great job of making all of the angles it covered feel important.

ALBERTO EL PATRON & DARIO CUETO SEGMENT- decent.
Both performances were good, but I didn’t like Cueto asking for “a week or two to promote” the match. My impression of the whole Lucha Underground set-up is that it is an underground fight club. What’s he going to do? Put up posters at local bars and gyms? Buy some ad time on TV?
More importantly, though, I REALLY want to know what’s up with that red bull statuette.

MIL MUERTES vs. FENIX- 5.25/10
Well… that felt kind of anti-climactic. Also, I never realized how big Catrina’s breasts were until this top. Those are… REALLY big.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- well… I’d like to know more about this stone, but I’m really unsure why I’m supposed to dislike Mil or why I am supposed to like Catrina. She cheated on him, and every last bit of this feud is HER FAULT because she seemingly did everything in her power to make him suspicious.

KONNAN VIDEO PACKAGE- interesting.

ANGELINO, IVELISSE, & SON OF HAVOC IN CUETO’S OFFICE- so all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the big bad scary biker is pussy-whipped? Give me a f*cking break. And even better, we’re getting a special guest referee match next week because Cueto wants to be an ass.

ALBERTO EL PATRON & PRINCE PUMA SEGMENT- in and of itself it was good, but I really don’t like the idea of Alberto being heelish, which is what he was here. He was a condescending, arrogant jerk.



Also, what was up with Melissa Santos tonight? She came off as being overly flirty, like she was trying to look, sound, and move as sexily as possible every time she introduced someone. It was really weird.

WINNER GETS TO FACE THE CREW: Sexy Star vs. Big Rrrrrrryck (because of the eye patch, get it?)- DUD!
Striker claimed that by competing equally with men, “Sexy Star has revolutionized the industry.” Yeah. Because Chyna certainly didn’t do that. And she certainly didn’t go even farther than that by winning a men’s championship, either. It’s good that Matt Striker knows his wrestling history.

The match started off with Sexy Star forearming Ryck so hard that his tits jiggled. That made me laugh.
My big problem with this match was quite simply that a few of the spots that they did (basically everything but the forearms in the beginning and crossbody)- and especially the finish- make Sexy Star look like a complete and total goof. A comedy jabroni. And the whole thing was made even worse by the fact that it was prefaced by Striker’s whole speech about equality and women’s lib and how Sexy Star’s wresting would speak for itself because, in this match, she was CLEARLY inferior, and her male opponent did not take her seriously at all, aside from the brief few seconds between the crossbody and the kickout. The finish especially just killed this. He didn’t chokeslam her like he would to a male opponent. He gently put her down and just held her shoulders to the mat like she was a small child, then just let her go and didn’t give a sh*t about her.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- EVEN WORSE THAN THE MATCH!
The Crew attack Big Ryck. Sexy Star comes to help Ryck, but despite the advantage of coming at the from behind, she still manages to get beaten up one-on-one. TWICE. Then they put her down with a double team move just simply to stop her from being a nuisance.
Then the Crew went to put Ryck’s eye out with a kendo stick, but he made his own comeback.


ALBERTO EL PATRON VIDEO PACKAGE- awesome

ALBERTO EL PATRON vs. EL TEXANO JR.- 7/10
Shouldn’t Texano be billed from Texas?
The match was great, but I really didn’t like the finish. Maybe if I had been watching AAA, I would have more of a reason to want to see Alberto whip Texano like that, but I haven’t been, so to me it was just the babyface getting DQed and losing in a match that I was really enjoying up until that point.

DARIO CUETO MEETS WITH KING CUERNO- Next week it will be Johnny Mundo vs. King Cuerno in a cage match. Cuerno vowed to win. Then he vowed to MURDER JOHNNY MUNDO AND MOUNT HIS HEAD ON CUETO’S WALL. And Cuerno is just weird enough a guy that it’s entire possible that he is 100% serious about that.

An okay show from Lucha Underground.

[cero2k]

MIL MUERTES vs. FENIX- 5.25/10
Well… that felt kind of anti-climactic. Also, I never realized how big Catrina’s breasts were until this top. Those are… REALLY big.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- well… I’d like to know more about this stone, but I’m really unsure why I’m supposed to dislike Mil or why I am supposed to like Catrina. She cheated on him, and every last bit of this feud is HER FAULT because she seemingly did everything in her power to make him suspicious.
i still have my hopes up for a Dark Fenix Saga


ANGELINO, IVELISSE, & SON OF HAVOC IN CUETO’S OFFICE- so all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the big bad scary biker is pussy-whipped? Give me a f*cking break. And even better, we’re getting a special guest referee match next week because Cueto wants to be an ass.
wow wow, when has he ever been a big bad scary biker? he's been losing since day 1


WINNER GETS TO FACE THE CREW: Sexy Star vs. Big Rrrrrrryck (because of the eye patch, get it?)- DUD!
Striker claimed that by competing equally with men, “Sexy Star has revolutionized the industry.” Yeah. Because Chyna certainly didn’t do that. And she certainly didn’t go even farther than that by winning a men’s championship, either. It’s good that Matt Striker knows his wrestling history.
it's not like Striker is just gonna go ahead and give props to the woman that they just rejected over their talent, plus Chyna has a little dick, thus eligible for a man title

[Big Red Machine]

MIL MUERTES vs. FENIX- 5.25/10
Well… that felt kind of anti-climactic. Also, I never realized how big Catrina’s breasts were until this top. Those are… REALLY big.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- well… I’d like to know more about this stone, but I’m really unsure why I’m supposed to dislike Mil or why I am supposed to like Catrina. She cheated on him, and every last bit of this feud is HER FAULT because she seemingly did everything in her power to make him suspicious.
i still have my hopes up for a Dark Fenix Saga
It's Lucha Underground. It could happen. They can have their big battle with Shi'ar at Areostar's house on the moon.


ANGELINO, IVELISSE, & SON OF HAVOC IN CUETO’S OFFICE- so all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the big bad scary biker is pussy-whipped? Give me a f*cking break. And even better, we’re getting a special guest referee match next week because Cueto wants to be an ass.
wow wow, when has he ever been a big bad scary biker? he's been losing since day 1
But the character was always supposed to come off as a tough guy. He's not a wimp who will allow himself to be bullied just because his girlfriend is winning more wrestling matches than he is.
I guess my real problem with it is that it felt like such ham writing. it felt like WWE where something will happen in a match and the person's personality will suddenly change to entirely focus on that thing, but in a way that makes it feel like the character has changed because "the writers decided to go in a different direction" rather than as a truly organic shift in the character him/herself.

WINNER GETS TO FACE THE CREW: Sexy Star vs. Big Rrrrrrryck (because of the eye patch, get it?)- DUD!
Striker claimed that by competing equally with men, “Sexy Star has revolutionized the industry.” Yeah. Because Chyna certainly didn’t do that. And she certainly didn’t go even farther than that by winning a men’s championship, either. It’s good that Matt Striker knows his wrestling history.
it's not like Striker is just gonna go ahead and give props to the woman that they just rejected over their talent, plus Chyna has a little dick, thus eligible for a man title
My point is that making outrageous claims that everyone knows are untrue only hurts your product. Sexy Star is not breaking any new ground. Everyone knows this. So don't pretend that she is. It'd be like turning on ROH in 2003 and hearing Gabe put Samoa Joe over as the first Samoan to not act like a stereotypical Samoan savage... except that everyone knows that isn't true because we just came off of The Rock being one of the biggest stars in the industry.