BRM Reviews the 9/15/2014 Raw
Posted: Sep 16th, '14, 00:45
HEYMAN & CENA SEGMENT- Heyman was great. Cena came off like WAY too much of a bully.
It will be Reigns vs. Rollins tonight. I guess the theme of tonight’s show is “giving away the PPV matches for free just six days before the PPV.”
They have a commercial for the WWE Network with The Rock doing a voiceover about the world of WWE, and it ends with him saying “I live for this and I love this.” Because nothing says “I love WWE so much!” like a guy who will only come back to work a match if he thinks he can set a box-office record with it.
When we come back from commercial, we see Cena lock Heyman in his dressing room. He then got Khali to guard the door. I swear to G-d that when Cena was calling Khali over, I heard him first call Khali “giant” and then call him “Paul” before calling him “Khali.” Can someone please that I didn’t hallucinate this.
This is a crime we are watching right now. Why is no one stopping this? Also, apparently The Great Khali has not picked up English despite being in WWE for EIGHT YEARS.
CHRIS JERICHO vs. KANE- 6/10
They did some really good stuff, but it just seemed very light at times. Like they weren’t going as fast as usual and not jumping as highly as usual, etc.
HEYMAN CALLS BROCK ON THE PHONE- this is really bothering me this week: Was here already a camera crew inside Ceda’s locker room? Or did they set one up just so we could watch Heyman call Brock. This whole thing is dumb.
ROMAN REIGNS PROMO- very good. His deliver could have been better, though.
BO DALLAS vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter)- 4.25/10
They got a lot more time than I thought they would. I guess this also means that they aren’t even getting a match on the pre-show for Night of Champions.
NIKKI BELLA & PAIGE vs. BRIE BELLA & AJ LEE- 0.5/10
Short and basically pointless. Nikki hits Brie with her finisher after the match. Then Paige starts skipping in the ring while AJ skips around the ring.
BRAY WYATT PROMO- good
HEYMAN BEGS KHALI- sh*t.
So not only does Cena lock Heyman in a room and tell him to make Brock show up or else, but the room he locks him in has no cell phone reception. When Paul politely asks to be allowed out of the room to make the phone call that Cean ostensibly wants him to make, Cena’s crony destroys Paul’s phone. Who thought this was a good idea?
Oh. And just for good measure, let’s make the foreigner act like he is mentally handicapped by having him try to use the broken phone.
I hope Heyman shows up on Smackdown and announces that he will sue the pants off of John Cena.
BIG SHOW vs. BRAY WYATT (w/the Wyatt Family)- 4/10
Big Show used the Final Cut for the first time in probably a decade. Show was going about to win, but Harper interfered for a DQ. Then Big Show gave both Harper and Rowan a double chokeslam to make them look like chumps. Remember two months ago when they were monsters? I liked that a lot better.
This did nothing to make me want to see the Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt match which I assume they will sign for the PPV because there was no issue that caused me to want to see it. If Show had some grudge with Bray and Harper and run in BEFORE Show could hit a chokeslam or some other move that surely would have led to victory, this would have been fine. But it wasn’t. All that happened here is Big Show got robbed of pinfall victory but won by DQ instead in a totally random match, and then laid out the Wyatts so there was no heat.
THE USOS & SHEAMUS vs. GOLDUST, STARDUST, & CESARO- 6.75/10
I’m pretty sure the Uso on the left kept screwing up during their entrance dance/chant thing. Cesaro’s antics here were totally awesome. I really don’t see the point of the babyface champions winning here. Wouldn’t it be better to build up the challengers?
ORTON PROMO- good
CENA IS GOING TO BEAT HEYMAN UP- John Cena is doing the opposite of being a star… and Heyman actually called him out on it! This actually wound up being very good.
Heyman wants Cena to give in to the Dark Side of the Force, but Cena won’t do it. Heyman finally got Brock to shove him by talking about how disappointed his mother would be in him. Then Brock showed up. They had a short brawl. Brock was winning at first, but Cena came back and won the brawl. Good build for Night of Champion.
NAOMI vs. CAMERON- -0.5/10
To set this up, they showed us a clip from Total Divas that they said was the reason behind the Funkadactyls break-up. Unfortunately, this in no way fits in with the established kayfabe facts from when they broke up on NXT. Also, if Total Divas was taped months ago, and this whole thing happened because Cameron wanted to go down to NXT, WHY HAS SHE NOT BEEN ON NXT?! (also, Cameron going down to NXT as an angle on Total Divas? #BRMBookedItFirst)
As for the match itself… just… sloppy.
THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & R-ZIGGLER- 4.75/10
HA! They’re finally using my idea! And yes, it is hilarious.
Anyway, Lawler randomly decided to be a heel for this match. JBL was so unhappy about this that he made a Jerry Lawler heart attack joke.
Having Miz take the loss here was a bad idea for the same reason that Goldust, Stardust. & Cesaro should have won. It would have been awesome if they had had Miz pin Truth, then go and brag about how he had beaten Ziggler.
SETH ROLLINS PROMO- FANTASTIC. An outstanding blend of heel seriousness and heel hilarity.
SETH ROLLINS vs. ROMAN REIGNS- 7/10
Reigns wins clean… so why do I need to buy the PPV to watch him do it again? They should have just teased that Reigns wouldn’t be on TV this week, then have him come out during Rollins match and have Rollins run away.
MARK HENRY RALLIES THE US-
Michael Cole’s first question was “Lana and Rusev have showed nothing but complete disdain for the United States. How does that make you feel?” Fortunately, Mark answered this stupid question in a way that pointed out its stupidity. I think that this was an adequate summary of this segment. Cole’s questions were all dumb, but Mark’s answers were good and passionate.
Lana and Rusev came out to confront him. Lana cut a great promo. Mark Henry started to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, but Rusev jumped him. They brawled. Mark powered out of the Accolade and gave Rusev a HUGE chokebomb.
An okay Raw, but aside from Henry vs. Rusev and Brock vs. Cena, it was a bad go-home show.
It will be Reigns vs. Rollins tonight. I guess the theme of tonight’s show is “giving away the PPV matches for free just six days before the PPV.”
They have a commercial for the WWE Network with The Rock doing a voiceover about the world of WWE, and it ends with him saying “I live for this and I love this.” Because nothing says “I love WWE so much!” like a guy who will only come back to work a match if he thinks he can set a box-office record with it.
When we come back from commercial, we see Cena lock Heyman in his dressing room. He then got Khali to guard the door. I swear to G-d that when Cena was calling Khali over, I heard him first call Khali “giant” and then call him “Paul” before calling him “Khali.” Can someone please that I didn’t hallucinate this.
This is a crime we are watching right now. Why is no one stopping this? Also, apparently The Great Khali has not picked up English despite being in WWE for EIGHT YEARS.
CHRIS JERICHO vs. KANE- 6/10
They did some really good stuff, but it just seemed very light at times. Like they weren’t going as fast as usual and not jumping as highly as usual, etc.
HEYMAN CALLS BROCK ON THE PHONE- this is really bothering me this week: Was here already a camera crew inside Ceda’s locker room? Or did they set one up just so we could watch Heyman call Brock. This whole thing is dumb.
ROMAN REIGNS PROMO- very good. His deliver could have been better, though.
BO DALLAS vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter)- 4.25/10
They got a lot more time than I thought they would. I guess this also means that they aren’t even getting a match on the pre-show for Night of Champions.
NIKKI BELLA & PAIGE vs. BRIE BELLA & AJ LEE- 0.5/10
Short and basically pointless. Nikki hits Brie with her finisher after the match. Then Paige starts skipping in the ring while AJ skips around the ring.
BRAY WYATT PROMO- good
HEYMAN BEGS KHALI- sh*t.
So not only does Cena lock Heyman in a room and tell him to make Brock show up or else, but the room he locks him in has no cell phone reception. When Paul politely asks to be allowed out of the room to make the phone call that Cean ostensibly wants him to make, Cena’s crony destroys Paul’s phone. Who thought this was a good idea?
Oh. And just for good measure, let’s make the foreigner act like he is mentally handicapped by having him try to use the broken phone.
I hope Heyman shows up on Smackdown and announces that he will sue the pants off of John Cena.
BIG SHOW vs. BRAY WYATT (w/the Wyatt Family)- 4/10
Big Show used the Final Cut for the first time in probably a decade. Show was going about to win, but Harper interfered for a DQ. Then Big Show gave both Harper and Rowan a double chokeslam to make them look like chumps. Remember two months ago when they were monsters? I liked that a lot better.
This did nothing to make me want to see the Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt match which I assume they will sign for the PPV because there was no issue that caused me to want to see it. If Show had some grudge with Bray and Harper and run in BEFORE Show could hit a chokeslam or some other move that surely would have led to victory, this would have been fine. But it wasn’t. All that happened here is Big Show got robbed of pinfall victory but won by DQ instead in a totally random match, and then laid out the Wyatts so there was no heat.
THE USOS & SHEAMUS vs. GOLDUST, STARDUST, & CESARO- 6.75/10
I’m pretty sure the Uso on the left kept screwing up during their entrance dance/chant thing. Cesaro’s antics here were totally awesome. I really don’t see the point of the babyface champions winning here. Wouldn’t it be better to build up the challengers?
ORTON PROMO- good
CENA IS GOING TO BEAT HEYMAN UP- John Cena is doing the opposite of being a star… and Heyman actually called him out on it! This actually wound up being very good.
Heyman wants Cena to give in to the Dark Side of the Force, but Cena won’t do it. Heyman finally got Brock to shove him by talking about how disappointed his mother would be in him. Then Brock showed up. They had a short brawl. Brock was winning at first, but Cena came back and won the brawl. Good build for Night of Champion.
NAOMI vs. CAMERON- -0.5/10
To set this up, they showed us a clip from Total Divas that they said was the reason behind the Funkadactyls break-up. Unfortunately, this in no way fits in with the established kayfabe facts from when they broke up on NXT. Also, if Total Divas was taped months ago, and this whole thing happened because Cameron wanted to go down to NXT, WHY HAS SHE NOT BEEN ON NXT?! (also, Cameron going down to NXT as an angle on Total Divas? #BRMBookedItFirst)
As for the match itself… just… sloppy.
THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & R-ZIGGLER- 4.75/10
HA! They’re finally using my idea! And yes, it is hilarious.
Anyway, Lawler randomly decided to be a heel for this match. JBL was so unhappy about this that he made a Jerry Lawler heart attack joke.
Having Miz take the loss here was a bad idea for the same reason that Goldust, Stardust. & Cesaro should have won. It would have been awesome if they had had Miz pin Truth, then go and brag about how he had beaten Ziggler.
SETH ROLLINS PROMO- FANTASTIC. An outstanding blend of heel seriousness and heel hilarity.
SETH ROLLINS vs. ROMAN REIGNS- 7/10
Reigns wins clean… so why do I need to buy the PPV to watch him do it again? They should have just teased that Reigns wouldn’t be on TV this week, then have him come out during Rollins match and have Rollins run away.
MARK HENRY RALLIES THE US-
Michael Cole’s first question was “Lana and Rusev have showed nothing but complete disdain for the United States. How does that make you feel?” Fortunately, Mark answered this stupid question in a way that pointed out its stupidity. I think that this was an adequate summary of this segment. Cole’s questions were all dumb, but Mark’s answers were good and passionate.
Lana and Rusev came out to confront him. Lana cut a great promo. Mark Henry started to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, but Rusev jumped him. They brawled. Mark powered out of the Accolade and gave Rusev a HUGE chokebomb.
An okay Raw, but aside from Henry vs. Rusev and Brock vs. Cena, it was a bad go-home show.
