BRM Reviews the 9/15/2014 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

HEYMAN & CENA SEGMENT- Heyman was great. Cena came off like WAY too much of a bully.

It will be Reigns vs. Rollins tonight. I guess the theme of tonight’s show is “giving away the PPV matches for free just six days before the PPV.”

They have a commercial for the WWE Network with The Rock doing a voiceover about the world of WWE, and it ends with him saying “I live for this and I love this.” Because nothing says “I love WWE so much!” like a guy who will only come back to work a match if he thinks he can set a box-office record with it.

When we come back from commercial, we see Cena lock Heyman in his dressing room. He then got Khali to guard the door. I swear to G-d that when Cena was calling Khali over, I heard him first call Khali “giant” and then call him “Paul” before calling him “Khali.” Can someone please that I didn’t hallucinate this.
This is a crime we are watching right now. Why is no one stopping this? Also, apparently The Great Khali has not picked up English despite being in WWE for EIGHT YEARS.


CHRIS JERICHO vs. KANE- 6/10
They did some really good stuff, but it just seemed very light at times. Like they weren’t going as fast as usual and not jumping as highly as usual, etc.

HEYMAN CALLS BROCK ON THE PHONE- this is really bothering me this week: Was here already a camera crew inside Ceda’s locker room? Or did they set one up just so we could watch Heyman call Brock. This whole thing is dumb.

ROMAN REIGNS PROMO- very good. His deliver could have been better, though.

BO DALLAS vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter)- 4.25/10
They got a lot more time than I thought they would. I guess this also means that they aren’t even getting a match on the pre-show for Night of Champions.

NIKKI BELLA & PAIGE vs. BRIE BELLA & AJ LEE- 0.5/10
Short and basically pointless. Nikki hits Brie with her finisher after the match. Then Paige starts skipping in the ring while AJ skips around the ring.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- good

HEYMAN BEGS KHALI- sh*t.
So not only does Cena lock Heyman in a room and tell him to make Brock show up or else, but the room he locks him in has no cell phone reception. When Paul politely asks to be allowed out of the room to make the phone call that Cean ostensibly wants him to make, Cena’s crony destroys Paul’s phone. Who thought this was a good idea?
Oh. And just for good measure, let’s make the foreigner act like he is mentally handicapped by having him try to use the broken phone.
I hope Heyman shows up on Smackdown and announces that he will sue the pants off of John Cena.

BIG SHOW vs. BRAY WYATT (w/the Wyatt Family)- 4/10
Big Show used the Final Cut for the first time in probably a decade. Show was going about to win, but Harper interfered for a DQ. Then Big Show gave both Harper and Rowan a double chokeslam to make them look like chumps. Remember two months ago when they were monsters? I liked that a lot better.
This did nothing to make me want to see the Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt match which I assume they will sign for the PPV because there was no issue that caused me to want to see it. If Show had some grudge with Bray and Harper and run in BEFORE Show could hit a chokeslam or some other move that surely would have led to victory, this would have been fine. But it wasn’t. All that happened here is Big Show got robbed of pinfall victory but won by DQ instead in a totally random match, and then laid out the Wyatts so there was no heat.

THE USOS & SHEAMUS vs. GOLDUST, STARDUST, & CESARO- 6.75/10
I’m pretty sure the Uso on the left kept screwing up during their entrance dance/chant thing. Cesaro’s antics here were totally awesome. I really don’t see the point of the babyface champions winning here. Wouldn’t it be better to build up the challengers?

ORTON PROMO- good

CENA IS GOING TO BEAT HEYMAN UP- John Cena is doing the opposite of being a star… and Heyman actually called him out on it! This actually wound up being very good.
Heyman wants Cena to give in to the Dark Side of the Force, but Cena won’t do it. Heyman finally got Brock to shove him by talking about how disappointed his mother would be in him. Then Brock showed up. They had a short brawl. Brock was winning at first, but Cena came back and won the brawl. Good build for Night of Champion.

NAOMI vs. CAMERON- -0.5/10
To set this up, they showed us a clip from Total Divas that they said was the reason behind the Funkadactyls break-up. Unfortunately, this in no way fits in with the established kayfabe facts from when they broke up on NXT. Also, if Total Divas was taped months ago, and this whole thing happened because Cameron wanted to go down to NXT, WHY HAS SHE NOT BEEN ON NXT?! (also, Cameron going down to NXT as an angle on Total Divas? #BRMBookedItFirst)
As for the match itself… just… sloppy.

THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & R-ZIGGLER- 4.75/10
HA! They’re finally using my idea! And yes, it is hilarious.
Anyway, Lawler randomly decided to be a heel for this match. JBL was so unhappy about this that he made a Jerry Lawler heart attack joke.
Having Miz take the loss here was a bad idea for the same reason that Goldust, Stardust. & Cesaro should have won. It would have been awesome if they had had Miz pin Truth, then go and brag about how he had beaten Ziggler.

SETH ROLLINS PROMO- FANTASTIC. An outstanding blend of heel seriousness and heel hilarity.

SETH ROLLINS vs. ROMAN REIGNS- 7/10
Reigns wins clean… so why do I need to buy the PPV to watch him do it again? They should have just teased that Reigns wouldn’t be on TV this week, then have him come out during Rollins match and have Rollins run away.

MARK HENRY RALLIES THE US-
Michael Cole’s first question was “Lana and Rusev have showed nothing but complete disdain for the United States. How does that make you feel?” Fortunately, Mark answered this stupid question in a way that pointed out its stupidity. I think that this was an adequate summary of this segment. Cole’s questions were all dumb, but Mark’s answers were good and passionate.
Lana and Rusev came out to confront him. Lana cut a great promo. Mark Henry started to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, but Rusev jumped him. They brawled. Mark powered out of the Accolade and gave Rusev a HUGE chokebomb.

An okay Raw, but aside from Henry vs. Rusev and Brock vs. Cena, it was a bad go-home show.

[cero2k]

When we come back from commercial, we see Cena lock Heyman in his dressing room. He then got Khali to guard the door. I swear to G-d that when Cena was calling Khali over, I heard him first call Khali “giant” and then call him “Paul” before calling him “Khali.” Can someone please that I didn’t hallucinate this.
This is a crime we are watching right now. Why is no one stopping this? Also, apparently The Great Khali has not picked up English despite being in WWE for EIGHT YEARS.

I just realize that Khali can't talk english, botches a whole lot, and is injury prone if he were to have an actual match. and yet they fire Sin Cara for all those things, at least he was more exciting.


NAOMI vs. CAMERON- -0.5/10
To set this up, they showed us a clip from Total Divas that they said was the reason behind the Funkadactyls break-up. Unfortunately, this in no way fits in with the established kayfabe facts from when they broke up on NXT. Also, if Total Divas was taped months ago, and this whole thing happened because Cameron wanted to go down to NXT, WHY HAS SHE NOT BEEN ON NXT?! (also, Cameron going down to NXT as an angle on Total Divas? #BRMBookedItFirst)
As for the match itself… just… sloppy.

I think this may be the first time I see a wrestler asking for a pin count when their opponent is face down on the mat. WHY IS SHE EMPLOYED!!?



THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & R-ZIGGLER- 4.75/10
HA! They’re finally using my idea! And yes, it is hilarious.
Anyway, Lawler randomly decided to be a heel for this match. JBL was so unhappy about this that he made a Jerry Lawler heart attack joke.
Having Miz take the loss here was a bad idea for the same reason that Goldust, Stardust. & Cesaro should have won. It would have been awesome if they had had Miz pin Truth, then go and brag about how he had beaten Ziggler.

I would love for this feud to go somewhere in particular. I want Sandow somehow win the title from Ziggler and for R-Truth to get the title shot rematch, and Miz and Ziggler scratching their heads on what just happened.

An okay Raw, but aside from Henry vs. Rusev and Brock vs. Cena, it was a bad go-home show.
you are a generous man Red, this was the worst RAW in the last months.

And sorry to hijack your topic, but I got two rants that I need to get out of my chest.

(1) Dear WWE, you are a multimillionaire company, broadcasting in over whatever number or countries, longest running episodic entertainment show in history (according to you). Why don't you respect yourself, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU OPENLY TELL THE AUDIENCE TO GO AND WATCH AN NFL GAME BECAUSE THE 'IMPORTANT' STUFF WILL HAPPEN AT HALF TIME!!?? WTF!!! You're pretty much telling the audience that nothing will be that important during the show, so go watch the NFL game and come back during half time, that's when we'll have our 'important' segment. Honestly, this is some WCW level stupidity. If they had pulled this shit back in the day, they would've been WCW's bitch.

Oh yeah, and because of this, your go-home show to NOC was closed by the feud that no one gives a fuck about anymore. to quote Randy Orton 'STUPID! STUPID!'

(2) I posted this about a month ago

Re: BRM Reivews the 8/25/2014 Raw (bad)
Post by cero2k » Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:09 pm

Big Red Machine wrote:

A EULOGY FOR DEAN AMBROSE- pretty good segment
Great heel stuff from Rollins. Roman Reigns shows up and brawls with Kane, then with Rollins. Reigns was going to separ Rollins, but Kane pulls Rollins to safety. Reigns does not give chase because... um...

i'm worried about a feud between reigns and rollins. Reigns shouldn't defeat rollins until after ambrose does, otherwise ambrose will look bad. this is why i hate reign's booking

4 weeks later, Reigns def Ambrose. Clean. On Raw. Fuck you WWE, Fuck you.
THIS, exactly this is why I don't dig Reigns and his GOD-like push.

[Big Red Machine]

When we come back from commercial, we see Cena lock Heyman in his dressing room. He then got Khali to guard the door. I swear to G-d that when Cena was calling Khali over, I heard him first call Khali “giant” and then call him “Paul” before calling him “Khali.” Can someone please that I didn’t hallucinate this.
This is a crime we are watching right now. Why is no one stopping this? Also, apparently The Great Khali has not picked up English despite being in WWE for EIGHT YEARS.

I just realize that Khali can't talk english, botches a whole lot, and is injury prone if he were to have an actual match. and yet they fire Sin Cara for all those things, at least he was more exciting.

I don't think Khali is quite so injury-prone. Also, Cara apparently had a very bad attitude backstage (I think Khali has actually tried to learn English and is just bad at speaking it), and had a lot less hype coming in. Also, there are plenty of other wrestlers who can fill the Mexican babyface roll (in WWE's mind anyway), but not so many who can be the Indian babyface. I'm not saying it's fair (though it's not quite unfair either, because Cara's attitude was really what got him fired), but it is what it is.

NAOMI vs. CAMERON- -0.5/10
To set this up, they showed us a clip from Total Divas that they said was the reason behind the Funkadactyls break-up. Unfortunately, this in no way fits in with the established kayfabe facts from when they broke up on NXT. Also, if Total Divas was taped months ago, and this whole thing happened because Cameron wanted to go down to NXT, WHY HAS SHE NOT BEEN ON NXT?! (also, Cameron going down to NXT as an angle on Total Divas? #BRMBookedItFirst)
As for the match itself… just… sloppy.

I think this may be the first time I see a wrestler asking for a pin count when their opponent is face down on the mat. WHY IS SHE EMPLOYED!!?


Maybe that's why she needs to go down to NXT. To learn the rules.

THE MIZ & DAMIEN MIZDOW vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & R-ZIGGLER- 4.75/10
HA! They’re finally using my idea! And yes, it is hilarious.
Anyway, Lawler randomly decided to be a heel for this match. JBL was so unhappy about this that he made a Jerry Lawler heart attack joke.
Having Miz take the loss here was a bad idea for the same reason that Goldust, Stardust. & Cesaro should have won. It would have been awesome if they had had Miz pin Truth, then go and brag about how he had beaten Ziggler.

I would love for this feud to go somewhere in particular. I want Sandow somehow win the title from Ziggler and for R-Truth to get the title shot rematch, and Miz and Ziggler scratching their heads on what just happened.
That would be fantastic.

An okay Raw, but aside from Henry vs. Rusev and Brock vs. Cena, it was a bad go-home show.
you are a generous man Red, this was the worst RAW in the last months.

WHOA! "Worst Raw in the last months? Dude... do you remember the show two weeks ago?
Raw has definitely been worse since Summer Slam, but it is still okay. The big problem with tonight's show was that it failed as a go-home show.

[Big Red Machine]

And sorry to hijack your topic, but I got two rants that I need to get out of my chest.

(1) Dear WWE, you are a multimillionaire company, broadcasting in over whatever number or countries, longest running episodic entertainment show in history (according to you). Why don't you respect yourself, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU OPENLY TELL THE AUDIENCE TO GO AND WATCH AN NFL GAME BECAUSE THE 'IMPORTANT' STUFF WILL HAPPEN AT HALF TIME!!?? WTF!!! You're pretty much telling the audience that nothing will be that important during the show, so go watch the NFL game and come back during half time, that's when we'll have our 'important' segment. Honestly, this is some WCW level stupidity. If they had pulled this shit back in the day, they would've been WCW's bitch.

Oh yeah, and because of this, your go-home show to NOC was closed by the feud that no one gives a fuck about anymore. to quote Randy Orton 'STUPID! STUPID!'

(2) I posted this about a month ago

Re: BRM Reivews the 8/25/2014 Raw (bad)
Post by cero2k » Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:09 pm

Big Red Machine wrote:

A EULOGY FOR DEAN AMBROSE- pretty good segment
Great heel stuff from Rollins. Roman Reigns shows up and brawls with Kane, then with Rollins. Reigns was going to separ Rollins, but Kane pulls Rollins to safety. Reigns does not give chase because... um...

i'm worried about a feud between reigns and rollins. Reigns shouldn't defeat rollins until after ambrose does, otherwise ambrose will look bad. this is why i hate reign's booking

4 weeks later, Reigns def Ambrose. Clean. On Raw. Fuck you WWE, Fuck you.
THIS, exactly this is why I don't dig Reigns and his GOD-like push.

1. When they said "halftime" they meant half way through Raw. That's what I assumed, anyway. It's kind of weird because they've never mentioned "halftime" before, but last week they kept taking the show up as the "season premiere" which they've never mentioned before, either.

2. I totally and completely agree with you. I think their big mistake came when they decided to change up the proposed Night of Champions card. The original plans were to do the Wyatt-Jericho blow-off, an Orton-Reigns gimmick match (maybe the blow-off, maybe keep it going until Hell in a Cell), and Cena vs. Lesnar (with Rollins being kept off the show to either screw Cena or cash in MITB on the Brock-Cena winner- all of which would have been bad ideas). I think that once they decided to do Miz vs. Dolph again, they realized that there were a whole bunch of Summer Slam rematches and decided to shake things up.
Even with the current card, they had a bunch of outs, though. There was no reason for Kane not to cause a DQ and Ambrose to return and make the save- or even better, have Kane and Orton cause a DQ and have Jericho make the save here, then get rid of Jericho with a punt at NOC earlier in the show, so when the same finish happens again and we all wonder who will save Reigns now, Ambrose returns makes the save (which would actually set them up very well to go into Reigns-Orton and Rollins-Ambrose for HIAC).

I agree. It all does suck. One would hope that WWE had learned their lesson with Cena and wouldn't repeat the same mistakes with Reigns that made the fans turn on him, but apparently not. The only explanation I can think of is that they want to keep Ambrose out for longer than originally planned (but even if this was the case, there is no reason to have the babyface win clean right before the PPV, and with no heat angle at all after it).

The fact that they switched from Reigns vs. Orton to Jericho vs. Orton at this PPV has me thinking Orton will be the guy challenging Brock next month.

[cero2k]

I don't think Khali is quite so injury-prone. Also, Cara apparently had a very bad attitude backstage (I think Khali has actually tried to learn English and is just bad at speaking it), and had a lot less hype coming in. Also, there are plenty of other wrestlers who can fill the Mexican babyface roll (in WWE's mind anyway), but not so many who can be the Indian babyface. I'm not saying it's fair (though it's not quite unfair either, because Cara's attitude was really what got him fired), but it is what it is.

not really excusing Cara, but if WWE really wanted to fill in the Indian demographic, there are better guys out there, even Jinder could have been handled better. If you ever watched Ring Ka King, they had some indian guys that were not that bad

Maybe that's why she needs to go down to NXT. To learn the rules.

I don't think she's even ready to debut in NXT

WHOA! "Worst Raw in the last months? Dude... do you remember the show two weeks ago?
Raw has definitely been worse since Summer Slam, but it is still okay. The big problem with tonight's show was that it failed as a go-home show.

I felt this was way worse, like they were running without a script. I mean, aside from the atrocity of telling the fans to go watch MNF, they followed that segment with the worst match of the night and something that will actually make fans switch channels. Reigns/Rollins could have been a MOTY, i'd still be pissed off for the result. The closing of the show was really lackluster, almost felt like filler because Rollins/Reigns couldn't go longer, Reigns used all his offense and they had to stop. The whole Cena/Heyman segments like you pointed out, where baad. The only things i found passable were Kane/Jericho and the R-Ziggler vs Miz/Mizdow thing, but even then, those where good at most, nothing to call home about