BRM Reviews the 9/10/2014 Impact (great)

[Big Red Machine]

CHRIS MELENDES vs. DJ ZEMA ION- 2.25/10
I’m not going to lie: playing the national anthem with full color-guard presentation felt extremely exploitive to me. Maybe a part of that comes from the fact that I am actually watching this the morning after the show aired- September 11th- and just finished watching some coverage of the ceremonies at Ground Zero… but then again, they picked this date for his debut match on purpose. I don’t think I would have had quite the same reaction to this if they hadn’t spent all spring and summer talking up Gunner’s military service as well, but either way, I think it would have been better if they just didn’t show the playing of the national anthem on TV, and just started the show with the fans chanting “USA!” and then had Melendez’s entrance.
The match itself was good for what it was. Zema is a great heel, and Melendez will learn to play into his role as a babyface with time (and in the interim the fact that he is a war hero wrestling with a prosthetic leg will definitely be enough to hold him over).

BOBBY ROODE PROMO-
OH MY F*CKING G-D! You and EY respect each other. We f*cking get it already!
Roode says he will get his title match next week on Impact. MVP & Pals come out. MVP cut an awesome promo. Roode said that he sees fear and doubt in MVP’s eyes, but not in Lashey’s. Roode’s promo on Lashley was not good. It just felt so corny. I think it was the combination of the delivery and that fact that he said that he knew Lashley could “destroy” him.
Anyway, MVP winds up sucker-punching Roode and the heels beat Roode down until Joe and EY make the save. Joe challenges them to a six man tag team match. Joe wants the match now. A ref shows up, so apparently TNA management has authorized the match.

SAMOA JOE, ERIC YOUNG, & BOBBY ROODE vs. MVP, KENNY KING, & BOBBY LASHLEY- 5/10
Props to the fans who clarified who the fans meant when they were chanting “WE WANT BOBBY!” by shouting “ROOOOOOOODE.” The match was short, considering the talent involved. EY was a good babyface in peril.

BRITTANY & GUNNER BACKSTAGE- Brittany wants to know if Shaw is dating anyone. Gunner apparently sees no problem with the idea of Shaw taking Brittany on a date. It’s not like Shaw’s a creepy aggressive, obsessive stalker anything, right?

THE BRO-MANS & VELVET SKY (w/DJ Zema Ion & Angelina Love) vs. THE MENAGERIE (w/The Freak)- 3.75/10
Want to hear something sad? Rebel was better than Velvet in this match. Velvet has been wrestling for OVER TEN YEARS! Rebel hasn’t even been wrestling for ten months.

TEAM 3-D PROMO- good

EC III & KURT ANGLE SEGMENT- TERRIBLE!
They bring up the fact that EC III was the guy who put Kurt on the shelf. Kurt says that he will get revenge on EC III “when the time is right.” EC III has some semi-valid complaints about the fact that Kurt rewarded Team 3-D for injuring Dixie, though his timeline as 3-D were announced as the next inductees into the TNA Hall of Fame at Slammiversary… which was before Kurt took over. This was only a few months ago, guys! This should be hard to remember!
Kurt is not happy with Ethan questioning his decision, so he threatens to suspend him. If this sounds familiar, that is probably because this was exactly the situation that started the feud between MVP and Bobby Roode (as Tenay reminded us earlier)… so the babyface authority figure is threatening the heel with the same punishment for the same offense that your previous heel authority figure handed out to Bobby Roode to make him your top babyface! Kurt then says that he knows Ethan isn’t prepared to wrestle tonight… so he is going force Ethan into a Street Fight. Kurt Angle is the world babyface authority figure EVER. Tenay praises Kurt for not allowing the inmates to run the asylum. How is that any different from what MVP or Dixie or Hogan and Bischoff were trying to do?

STREET FIGHT: Ethan Carter III vs. Rhino- 6/10
Short, but good.

Some fan brought a sign that said that the “TNA Network is only $9.98.” With such a clever sign, I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that this fan was holding the sign upside down.

Tenay hyped up the reveal of who would be the cover girl for the Knockouts 2015 calendar by saying the following: Fall, winter, summer, and spring; we’ve got them all covered in the Knockouts calendar.”
The problem with this is that I thought of two equally snarky things to say, and couldn’t pick which one to go with, so I have decided to give you all a special “pick your own diss!”
1. “Thanks, Mike. I was worried that if I bought the calendar, it might be missing March through August.”
Or
2.
“This came as a huge relief to me because I was worried that July and August would have been victim of TNA’s budget cutbacks.”
That being said, it is still entirely possible that Russo was the one in charge of putting this calendar together, and that anyone who buys it will be surprised by his big swerve that February now takes place after September because it turned on winter to join fall.

Okay. I’m done now. I promise.

CHRIS MELENDEZ PROMO- decent. His delivery was a bit awkward, but he’s got some real potential as a promo guy.

WHO GETS THE BE THE COVER GIRL FOR THE KNOCKOUTS CALENDAR- All of the Knockouts are in the ring. Angelina grabs the mic and assumes it will be her, but it turns out it is Velvet instead. Oh great. Another feud between these two.
Then Havok came out. Gail charged at her and they brawled. Taryn, who was also attacked last week, just stayed where she was because apparently she is a coward. Havok took Gail out, then went for the ring. TBP pushed Brittany at her, and Brittany ate a chokeslam. Havok then picked dup Gail’s title. All of the Knockouts in the ring looked afraid of Havok, or at the very least concerned at the treat she poses to their hopes of becoming champion. All except for Taryn, that is. Taryn just looked bored and mildly annoyed.
Without all of the Taryn-problems, this would have been a great segment, both furthering Gail vs. Havk and also starting something between Velvet and Angelina (I might not want to see them feud, but there is no denying that if, for some reason, they HAVE to feud, this would be a great way to subtly start it). It also would have been better if Tenay had actually had some emotion in his voice.

JAMES STORM’S WOODSHED OF TERROR- okay
This footage was described as taking place “earlier this week.” This means two things:
1. NO ONE lifted a finger to help Manik last week after he was KIDNAPPED LIVE ON NATIONAL TV!
2. Manik has been in that suit for DAYS at this point. He must smell absolutely RANCID at this point.

Anyway, Storm says some stuff, then starts to rip Manik’s mask off before ordering the cameraman to leave.

GAIL KIM SEARCHS FOR HAVOK BACKSTAGE- PERFECT! Gail is pissed that Havok stole her title, so she is angrily looking for Havok. They spend about ten seconds on this, because that was all the time they needed to get the point across.

AUSTIN ARIES & TAJIRI vs. JAMES STORM & THE GREAT SANADA- 5.75/10

HARDY BOYS PROMO- great!

GAIL KIM & HAVOK BRAWL BACKSTAGE- good. When we came back from the break, they brawled out to the ring. Security broke it up and dragged Gail while. Havok, for her part, kicked security’s ass with no trouble.

TABLES MATCH IN THE FIRST TO TWO WINS TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE SERIES: The Team 3-D(1) vs The Hardy Boys(0) vs. The Wolves(0)(c)- 8/10
Lots of great teases in here, and tons of great action. The Hardys win, so they choose a ladder match, which will happen next week.

Next week is No Surrender, and it will feature Wolves. Hardys vs. Dudleys in a ladder match, Lashley vs. Roode for the TNA World Heavyweight Title, and Samoa Joe vs. Homicide from the X-Division Title. This one throwaway mention by Tenay at the end of the show was the only time this match was mentioned at all. I had completely forgotten about it until Tenay mentioned it, and I'm certain I won't remember next Wednesday.

A great show from TNA.

[cero2k]

BRITTANY & GUNNER BACKSTAGE- Brittany wants to know if Shaw is dating anyone. Gunner apparently sees no problem with the idea of Shaw taking Brittany on a date. It’s not like Shaw’s a creepy aggressive, obsessive stalker anything, right?

what!? are you on Anderson's side now? Haven't you heard Gunner say that Shaw is better now?

Tenay hyped up the reveal of who would be the cover girl for the Knockouts 2015 calendar by saying the following: Fall, winter, summer, and spring; we’ve got them all covered in the Knockouts calendar.”
The problem with this is that I thought of two equally snarky things to say, and couldn’t pick which one to go with, so I have decided to give you all a special “pick your own diss!”
1. “Thanks, Mike. I was worried that if I bought the calendar, it might be missing March through August.”
Or
2.
“This came as a huge relief to me because I was worried that July and August would have been victim of TNA’s budget cutbacks.”
That being said, it is still entirely possible that Russo was the one in charge of putting this calendar together, and that anyone who buys it will be surprised by his big swerve that February now takes place after September because it turned on winter to join fall.
you get the missing months when you subscribe to the TNANetwork for only 9.98


WHO GETS THE BE THE COVER GIRL FOR THE KNOCKOUTS CALENDAR- All of the Knockouts are in the ring. Angelina grabs the mic and assumes it will be her, but it turns out it is Velvet instead. Oh great. Another feud between these two.
Then Havok came out. Gail charged at her and they brawled. Taryn, who was also attacked last week, just stayed where she was because apparently she is a coward.
Or quite intelligent not to pick a fight with the woman who just kicked your ass some days ago

JAMES STORM’S WOODSHED OF TERROR- okay
This footage was described as taking place “earlier this week.” This means two things:
1. NO ONE lifted a finger to help Manik last week after he was KIDNAPPED LIVE ON NATIONAL TV!
2. Manik has been in that suit for DAYS at this point. He must smell absolutely RANCID at this point.
He used to be called suicide, i always imagined that he was smelly eitherway


Next week is No Surrender, and it will feature Wolves. Hardys vs. Dudleys in a ladder match, Lashley vs. Roode for the TNA World Heavyweight Title, and Samoa Joe vs. Homicide from the X-Division Title. This one throwaway mention by Tenay at the end of the show was the only time this match was mentioned at all. I had completely forgotten about it until Tenay mentioned it, and I'm certain I won't remember next Wednesday.

you need to eat more vitamins Red, work on that memory

[Big Red Machine]

BRITTANY & GUNNER BACKSTAGE- Brittany wants to know if Shaw is dating anyone. Gunner apparently sees no problem with the idea of Shaw taking Brittany on a date. It’s not like Shaw’s a creepy aggressive, obsessive stalker anything, right?

what!? are you on Anderson's side now? Haven't you heard Gunner say that Shaw is better now?
Except clearly he isn't. Remember last week's creepiness with the military uniform?

Tenay hyped up the reveal of who would be the cover girl for the Knockouts 2015 calendar by saying the following: Fall, winter, summer, and spring; we’ve got them all covered in the Knockouts calendar.”
The problem with this is that I thought of two equally snarky things to say, and couldn’t pick which one to go with, so I have decided to give you all a special “pick your own diss!”
1. “Thanks, Mike. I was worried that if I bought the calendar, it might be missing March through August.”
Or
2.
“This came as a huge relief to me because I was worried that July and August would have been victim of TNA’s budget cutbacks.”
That being said, it is still entirely possible that Russo was the one in charge of putting this calendar together, and that anyone who buys it will be surprised by his big swerve that February now takes place after September because it turned on winter to join fall.
you get the missing months when you subscribe to the TNANetwork for only 9.98


WHO GETS THE BE THE COVER GIRL FOR THE KNOCKOUTS CALENDAR- All of the Knockouts are in the ring. Angelina grabs the mic and assumes it will be her, but it turns out it is Velvet instead. Oh great. Another feud between these two.
Then Havok came out. Gail charged at her and they brawled. Taryn, who was also attacked last week, just stayed where she was because apparently she is a coward.
Or quite intelligent not to pick a fight with the woman who just kicked your ass some days ago
Except that was when Taryn had already wrestled. She came off like a coward to me. Look at Gail. Gail showed no fear and charged at Havok right away. Who came off looking better here? Taryn or Gail?
JAMES STORM’S WOODSHED OF TERROR- okay
This footage was described as taking place “earlier this week.” This means two things:
1. NO ONE lifted a finger to help Manik last week after he was KIDNAPPED LIVE ON NATIONAL TV!
2. Manik has been in that suit for DAYS at this point. He must smell absolutely RANCID at this point.
He used to be called suicide, i always imagined that he was smelly eitherway
yeah, but this si aout four times the smelliness.


Next week is No Surrender, and it will feature Wolves. Hardys vs. Dudleys in a ladder match, Lashley vs. Roode for the TNA World Heavyweight Title, and Samoa Joe vs. Homicide from the X-Division Title. This one throwaway mention by Tenay at the end of the show was the only time this match was mentioned at all. I had completely forgotten about it until Tenay mentioned it, and I'm certain I won't remember next Wednesday.

you need to eat more vitamins Red, work on that memory