BRM Reviews the 7/21/2014 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

Someone seated about three rows behind the announcers has a sign that says “I’m glad I don’t have to hear Michael Cole.” I would be quite happy if, during every commercial break, Cole turned around and tried to engage the fan I casual conversation.

TRIPLE H PROMO- he said he was so unhappy that the Authority didn’t regain the WWE World Heavyweight Title that he would “Tweet about it until my fingers bleed.” This was part of a fantastic rant burying people who complain on the internet, which he then ended with me and my friend Mark and going to threaten to stop watching.
He says that at Summer Slam he can guarantee that Cena won’t retain the title but he needs to pick a challenger. Orton coms out and points out that he STILL hasn’t gotten a 1-on-1 rematch for the title. Hunter says that Orton is the frontrunner, but hasn’t made his mind up yet. Tonight, he will give everyone on the roster the chance to impress him (if this sounds like one of those promos Hogan used to cut on “championship Thursday,” that’s because this is probably what those were intended to be.
Orton blames his loss on Kane. Kane comes out and says that he only lost because he had to be Orotn’s “protector” and that he is “tired of babysitting.” Roman Reigns then came out and said that “nobody wants to see John Cena vs. Kane, and nobody wants to see John Cena vs. Randy Orton again. It sounds like everybody wants to see John Cena vs. Roman Reigns.
He then gave Kane a Superman Punch (that was rude!) Hunter punishes Reigns for this dickishness by booking a…
HANDICAP MATCH: Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton & Kane- 5/10
I think they told the wrong story at the finish here. It should have been Kane refusing to tag out, not Orton refusing to tag in. How does it impress Hunter if Orton doesn’t want o be tagged in. What will impress him, though, is beating Reigns, so the legal heel should have done everything he could to always avoid tagging out.

STEPH & THE HEEL DIVAS BACKSTAGE- she wants them to “annihilate” Nikki Bella

I like how this has progressed: First Steph tried a big handicap match, but there were babyfaces in it and they didn’t want to gang up on Nikki. Then she put Nikki in there against only heels, but there were only two of them, so Nikki managed to win. And now finally, and after a month and a half, Stpeh has finally put the pieces together and booked Nikki in a handicap match against a lot of heel Divas. Keep up the good work there, Steph.
4-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH: Cameron, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie, and Rosa Mendes vs. Nikki Bella- AMAZING SEGMENT!
Good facial expressions from Nikki on her way down to the ring. She looked genuinely afraid of the beating she was about to take, but she was determined to go through it anyway. Apparently Brie brought a front-row ticket. I’m sure she won’t hop the guardrail or anything.
Steph then came out and she and Brie had an AWESOME segment (including Steph slapping Brie, which should set up Brie’s way back into the company). Just totally FANTASTIC!
After Brie was dragged away by security, Steph ordered the bell to be rung, and all four women just MAULED poor Nikki. All Nikki could do to protect herself was turtle. She was pinned when one of the others held her in place by the hair so that Alicia Fox could hit the scissors kick. Steph then stood over her and vowed to run Nikki out of the WWE.

BO DALLAS vs. DAMIEN SANDOW- 3.75/10
Sandow was dressed as Lebron James, and cut a fun promo. I like how they set this up to let Bo be a babyface in his home state. When Sandow tossed his headband into the crowd, I was certain he was going to do the People’s Elbow. The match was fun, but I don’t understand how they are still billing Bo as undefeated when he lost last night.

CHRIS JERICHO’S HILIGHT REEL WITH SPECIAL GUEST BRAY WYATT- apparently the Wyatss bea Jericho up on the WWE App, so instead we got a…
BRAY WYATT PROMO- GREAT!

DOCTOR’S CHECK ON JERICHO BACKSTAGE- he is bleeding from the ear
R-Truth was there, too, which I really liked. It is important to show people as friends backstage so that any angle you want to do doesn’t just feel like it comes out of nowhere.

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler- 7.5/10
Miz is doing a fantastic job of looking like a douchebag. Dolph has new trunks that say “D fn Z” on the butt. Management probably isn’t too happy about that. They are probably pretty happy about this match, though! This rocked… but I am the only one was certain this was a title match?

HUNTER, ROLLINS & CESARO BACKSTAGE-
Hunter convinces Rollins that there is no reason for him to face Cena at Summer Slam because he has MITB. Rollins points out that they need to take Ambrose out for good in order for the MITB contract to be effective. Then Cesaro shows up and randomly says that he has decided to no longer be a Paul Heyman guy. Really, WWE? Just like that? No angle or babyface turn or anything? Cesaro just woke up this morning and decided that he didn’t want to have Paul manage him anymore? Because that worked out so well for Curtis Axel and Ryback.
Cesaro offers himself as a challenger. Hunter offers to give Cesaro the chance to take Ambrose out for them tonight.

AJ LEE & PAIGE vs. NATALYA NEIDHART & EMMA- 3.5/10
Good, considering the time it got. Apparently they are real friends now and not just frenemies.
Well… I was half right. They are full-blown enemies now. Paige assaulted AJ after the match.

FANDANGO vs. ZACK RYDER (w/Summer Rae & Layla)- DUD!
Ryder came out with Fandango’s last two ex-girlfriends, to Fandango’s music, and doing Fandango’s entrance. Then they had a match in which Fandango had his foot on the ropes, but Layla knocked it off before the ref could see, screwing Fandango out of a match. WHY IS FANDANGO THE HEEL?!
Then, to make sure that no one got over, the announcers all buried Ryder as a geek who never ever comes close to winning.

FLO RIDA & HEATH SLATER SEGMENT- Heath attempted to get his revenge on Flo Rida for Wrestlemana XXVIII. He didn’t.

FLO RIDA CONCERT- wasn’t too long, so whatever. More importantly, they used it for a productive purpose. It was an excuse for Steph to be in the ring so the cops could arrest her for assaulting Brie in front of the crowd.
THE COPS ARREST STEPH- THE CROWD WENT NUTS for this! I bet Jerry McDevitt will be having a really fun Tuesday right about now.
In the past I have been unhappy about babyfaces using cops or the legal system to do things on their behalf but I am fine with this because I believe that where this is going will be Brie dropping the charges in exchange for a match in which she can earn her job back at Summer Slam.

HUNTER AND A NAMELESS STOOGE BACKSTAGE- he was about to leave, but then decides to maybe stay around and choose a challenger before going to help out his imprisoned wife. Family values for the win!

CURTIS AXEL & RYBACK vs. BIG E. LANGSTON & KOFI KINGSTON- 4/10
Clean win for the heels. Cool.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- ummm…
Xavier Woods showed up in a white suit, red shirt, and white tie (it looked ugly) and said
“This is exactly what I have been talking about! You cannot move ahead by shaking hands, kissing babies, singing and dancing like a puppet! You cannot move ahead by always doing what you’re told.”
WHEN?! When, Mr. Woods, have you EVER uttered that sentiment? Hell… when was the last time you got to say ANYTHING on TV at all?! This is like that time Christy Hemme randomly decided to stand up for feminism, except Woods’ deliver was a million times better.
He then said that they needed to work together and unify and “find focus” and “order” and “find purpose” and he said “we do not ask any longer. We take!” Kofi and Big E. seemed to agree with him, but I was just sitting here trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

Lawler seems to have forgotten the finish to last night’s match, claiming that Swagger tapped. It was actually a count-out. Then again, the pictures on the screen and narrative Cole gave all seemed designed to hide the real finish, which seems strange as the real finish allows for a rematch, but Swagger tapping clean doesn’t.
THE GREAT KHALI vs. RUSEV (w/Lana)- 0.5/10
Yeah… this one was rough. Everything they did was just on the verge of looking like crap, but didn’t quite get there.

CODY & GOLDUST STUFF- Can you image what happened the in the WWE writers’ room?
Writer 1: “Cody and Goldust are putting on great matches and getting over.”
Writer 2: “OHH! I know! Let’s have them lose a bunch of matches and then start acting like weirdos!”
Also, Cody did a dust-blowing thing. I wasn’t that unhappy that Miz stole Tyler Breeze’s gimmick, but this on just pisses me off because it reduces the chances of me seeing Alexa Bliss.

DEAN AMBROSE vs. CESARO- 6.5/10
The match was going well until Ambrose got DQed on purpose. How does this help either guy.

RENEE YOUNG POINTS OUT THAT HUNTER SHOULD BE AT THE POLICE STATION WITH HIS WIFE- he glares at her.
We’ll be getting Sheamus vs. Rusev on Main Event. That sounds like a recepet for a non-finish.
We’ll also be getting Del Rio vs. Reigns on Smackdown. That sounds like it could rock.

HUNTER ANNOUNCERS THE #1 CONTENDER- It’s Orton. Reigns jumps him like a coward, and they brawl away through the crowd. Then Paul Heyman shows up and convinces Hunter to choose plan C… BROCK LESNAR! That seems like a pretty solid plan.
Heyman then cut a great promo.

A pretty good Raw, though not without its poor decisions.

[cero2k]

STEPH & THE HEEL DIVAS BACKSTAGE- she wants them to “annihilate” Nikki Bella

I like how this has progressed: First Steph tried a big handicap match, but there were babyfaces in it and they didn’t want to gang up on Nikki. Then she put Nikki in there against only heels, but there were only two of them, so Nikki managed to win. And now finally, and after a month and a half, Stpeh has finally put the pieces together and booked Nikki in a handicap match against a lot of heel Divas. Keep up the good work there, Steph.
4-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH: Cameron, Alicia Fox, Eva Marie, and Rosa Mendes vs. Nikki Bella- AMAZING SEGMENT!
Good facial expressions from Nikki on her way down to the ring. She looked genuinely afraid of the beating she was about to take, but she was determined to go through it anyway. Apparently Brie brought a front-row ticket. I’m sure she won’t hop the guardrail or anything.
Steph then came out and she and Brie had an AWESOME segment (including Steph slapping Brie, which should set up Brie’s way back into the company). Just totally FANTASTIC!
After Brie was dragged away by security, Steph ordered the bell to be rung, and all four women just MAULED poor Nikki. All Nikki could do to protect herself was turtle. She was pinned when one of the others held her in place by the hair so that Alicia Fox could hit the scissors kick. Steph then stood over her and vowed to run Nikki out of the WWE.

you missed to mention the most important part. One Nikki Bella nipslip

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler- 7.5/10
Miz is doing a fantastic job of looking like a douchebag. Dolph has new trunks that say “D fn Z” on the butt. Management probably isn’t too happy about that. They are probably pretty happy about this match, though! This rocked… but I am the only one was certain this was a title match?

It was, it was announced that Miz retained at the end

Then Cesaro shows up and randomly says that he has decided to no longer be a Paul Heyman guy. Really, WWE? Just like that? No angle or babyface turn or anything? Cesaro just woke up this morning and decided that he didn’t want to have Paul manage him anymore? Because that worked out so well for Curtis Axel and Ryback.

the experiment is over, i'm glad, Heyman wasn't doing anything for Cesaro, he actually killed his WM momentum IMO. And I would say that Rybaxel have been far more entertaining without Heyman too.

WHEN?! When, Mr. Woods, have you EVER uttered that sentiment? Hell… when was the last time you got to say ANYTHING on TV at all?! This is like that time Christy Hemme randomly decided to stand up for feminism, except Woods’ deliver was a million times better.
He then said that they needed to work together and unify and “find focus” and “order” and “find purpose” and he said “we do not ask any longer. We take!” Kofi and Big E. seemed to agree with him, but I was just sitting here trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

we all know it

phpBB [video]

CODY & GOLDUST STUFF- Can you image what happened the in the WWE writers’ room?
Writer 1: “Cody and Goldust are putting on great matches and getting over.”
Writer 2: “OHH! I know! Let’s have them lose a bunch of matches and then start acting like weirdos!”

I just wanna know where the Key to that box is and see what's inside.

[Big Red Machine]

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler- 7.5/10
Miz is doing a fantastic job of looking like a douchebag. Dolph has new trunks that say “D fn Z” on the butt. Management probably isn’t too happy about that. They are probably pretty happy about this match, though! This rocked… but I am the only one was certain this was a title match?

It was, it was announced that Miz retained at the end

Yeah but... Ziggler won the match, didn't he? And the ref counted a pin. Did I miss some sort of Dusty Finish or something?

Then Cesaro shows up and randomly says that he has decided to no longer be a Paul Heyman guy. Really, WWE? Just like that? No angle or babyface turn or anything? Cesaro just woke up this morning and decided that he didn’t want to have Paul manage him anymore? Because that worked out so well for Curtis Axel and Ryback.

the experiment is over, i'm glad, Heyman wasn't doing anything for Cesaro, he actually killed his WM momentum IMO. And I would say that Rybaxel have been far more entertaining without Heyman too.

Yeah... but they were a lot higher up on the card. Heyman's very presence makes you an instant main event guy.

WHEN?! When, Mr. Woods, have you EVER uttered that sentiment? Hell… when was the last time you got to say ANYTHING on TV at all?! This is like that time Christy Hemme randomly decided to stand up for feminism, except Woods’ deliver was a million times better.
He then said that they needed to work together and unify and “find focus” and “order” and “find purpose” and he said “we do not ask any longer. We take!” Kofi and Big E. seemed to agree with him, but I was just sitting here trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

we all know it

phpBB [video]

That's what I was thinking, too, but it just seems so... out of place in the current WWE.

CODY & GOLDUST STUFF- Can you image what happened the in the WWE writers’ room?
Writer 1: “Cody and Goldust are putting on great matches and getting over.”
Writer 2: “OHH! I know! Let’s have them lose a bunch of matches and then start acting like weirdos!”

I just wanna know where the Key to that box is and see what's inside.

These guys have it:
http://www.lehigh.edu/~x010/index.html

[Serujuunin]

The nameless stooge in the back was actually Joey Mercury.

[WrestlingJoker]

The nameless stooge in the back was actually Joey Mercury.

Damn, you beat me to it, lol.

[cero2k]

Yeah but... Ziggler won the match, didn't he? And the ref counted a pin. Did I miss some sort of Dusty Finish or something?



These guys have it:
http://www.lehigh.edu/~x010/index.html

i didn't pay attention to the finish exactly, but they announced "Your winner, Dolph Ziggler, But still Intercontinental Champion, THE MIZ" they usually don't do that unless it's some kind of dusty finish

[KILLdozer]

I personally think that it was NOT a title match, because I remember Cole talking about positive implications ramifications for Ziggler if he won, but then Miz played up the role of telling Roberts to announce him as Champion-oe, it could've have jjust been to clear up any confusion about the situation. (Because it sure felt like and was good enough for a title match.)

[Big Red Machine]

I personally think that it was NOT a title match, because I remember Cole talking about positive implications ramifications for Ziggler if he won, but then Miz played up the role of telling Roberts to announce him as Champion-oe, it could've have jjust been to clear up any confusion about the situation. (Because it sure felt like and was good enough for a title match.)

My thoughts exactly. If It had been some sort of Dusty Finish, Miz would have been announced as the winner, not Ziggler.

[Big Red Machine]

The nameless stooge in the back was actually Joey Mercury.

Damn, you beat me to it, lol.

Huh.

I guess he must have kept the shaved-head look after the Straight Edge Society ended.

[KILLdozer]

The nameless stooge in the back was actually Joey Mercury.

Damn, you beat me to it, lol.

Huh.

I guess he must have kept the shaved-head look after the Straight Edge Society ended.

Way to go, Big Show. 8-|

[KILLdozer]

But yea, a new Nation?

Hidden text.

They defeat O'Neal on ME, could be a sign of things to come, and Henry will also be joining them upon his return.

[Earth Child]

WHEN?! When, Mr. Woods, have you EVER uttered that sentiment? Hell… when was the last time you got to say ANYTHING on TV at all?! This is like that time Christy Hemme randomly decided to stand up for feminism, except Woods’ deliver was a million times better.
He then said that they needed to work together and unify and “find focus” and “order” and “find purpose” and he said “we do not ask any longer. We take!” Kofi and Big E. seemed to agree with him, but I was just sitting here trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.

we all know it

phpBB [video]

This made me laugh out loud. And I would totally mark out of something like this happened. :p

[KILLdozer]

It IS , EC! That is exactly what's happening. Watch. ;)

[Big Red Machine]

But yea, a new Nation?

Hidden text.

They defeat O'Neal on ME, could be a sign of things to come, and Henry will also be joining them upon his return.

I've heard that the

Hidden text.

Mark Henry

thing is just speculation.

[Serujuunin]

The nameless stooge in the back was actually Joey Mercury.

Damn, you beat me to it, lol.

Because I'm amazing.