BRM Reviews the 7/8/2014 Main Event

[Big Red Machine]

LAST MAN STANDING MATCH FOR THE US TITLE: Sheamus(c) vs. Alberto Del Rio- 7.5/10
If you are wondering when this became a Last Man Standing match, then we are in the same boat. This match has been a failure of promotion on TNA-like levels. First the match by which Del Rio earned this match wasn't even announced as a #1 contendership match until the official announcement of the finish. Now, as I tune in to Main Event, it has randomly become a Last Man Standing match. By the time the match ends, it will probably also be a Loser Leaves Town match.
They cut promos on each other, with Del Rio on the tron instead of on the stage or the in the ring for some reason. Sheamus felt the need to explain the stips to us, despite the ring announcer having just done that. These two then proceeded to put on a great match, because neither one of these guys is not going to give you everything they have. They told a great story of escalating violence, and managed to incorporated the weapons mentioned in their promos into the match.

During this match, they advertised that up next on the WWE Network was a special Wrestlemania Rewind focusing on CM Punk winning MITB. Hmm... It's probably nothing, but it's more than I'd expect them to do.

To the guy with the "BOlieve in BOnoit" sign: I give you points for cleverness, but then immediately take them away for tastelessness.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS CHRIS JERICHO- Apparently Bray vs. Jericho has been signed for Battleground. Jericho cut a good promo on Bray, then plugged his interview with Bret tonight on the Highlight Reel.

HANDICAP MATCH: Nikki Bella vs. Eva Marie, Natalya, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendes, & Naomi- 2/10
They kept saying that this was a six-on-one match, but Cameron wasn't ever introduced, so it was only five-on-one. They didn't even play her music and have her not come out or something like that. Or even better, have her come out in her Funkadactyls gear and to their music, then have Naomi come out also in Funkadactyls gear and music, the have Cameron get upset and walk out before the match even starts.
This was also billed as Nikki being forced to face the other Total Divas, which, when combined with Nikki wearing Cena's "never give up" wristbands, also really annoyed me. Sorry everyone, but I haven't gone on a "Total Divas and kayfabe should not mix" rant for a while, so I think I'm entitled.
We have been shown that Total Divas is apparently kayfabe because events on the show seem to matter in kayfabe (despite the fact that it makes no sense for them to be fighting about something which everyone freely admits, EVEN ON TOTAL DIVAS,transpired and was taped months ago). Brie and Dragon being a couple, for example. Why, then, has Nikki's boyfriend, WHOSE GEAR SHE IS WEARING, the WWE World Heavyweight Champion and Biggest, Most-Upstanding, Charity-Doing, Moral-Teaching, Best Role Mole Any Child Could Ever Have, John Cena, not tried to help her at all? I'm not saying that he should beat the other girls up. I'm saying why not have Cena come out and give Nikki a swat on the ass, which would technically cause a DQ and thus outsmart the Authority's plan? Or why not do a segment earlier on this show with Cena talking to Hunter and Steph, pleading with them to not book Nikki into a match like this because six-on-one is horribly unfair, which is definitely not best for business? You can even do a second segment with Nikki saying she'll take the match anyway because she's not afraid to bite the bullet for her sister because that's what family does for each other. Maybe even put Cena vs. the Authority over by having Nikki ask Cena not to go to bat for her like that because it will just make the Authority more likely to try to screw him out of his title, which would then also serve to explain why the Authority can do these things to her without Cena trying to intervene.
Total Divas either is kayfabe, or it isn't. It can't only be kayfabe when it happens to suit the purposes of your plot.

And if Nikki is going to wear "never give up" armbands (which I don't think she normally wears for her matches) to a six-on--one handicap match which she is clearly being booked in as a punishment, SOMEONE SHOULD POINT THAT OUT! That's a whole damn angle in and of itself! Nikki is going through with all of this and will never give up, no matter what the Authority does to her because she believes that justice and goodness will prevail and Brie will get her job back and Bryan will get his rematch when he comes back, and she wants to be there to celebrate those moments with them and to see the look on Hunter and Steph's faces when those things happen! (and that can actually start your build to the rumored Brie vs. Steph match at Summer Slam with Brie's job on the line)

The story they told was that Nattie and Naomi were not okay with this and didn't want to be involved, so they didn't tag in. For a match where the majority of the work was carried by three women, the best of whom is Summer Rae, this was not bad at all. They told their story quickly and efficiently. Eva got the win with a DDT. After the match was over, Cameron came out and jumped Nikki from behind. Naomi chased her away, and rather than follow what seemed like it could be some exciting action, we had to stay in the ring and watch nothing (Nattie was checking on Nikki, but no attention was called to this whatsoever),

CHRIS JERICHO'S HIGHLIGHT REAL WITH BRET HART- HORRENDOUS WASTE OF TIME
This was all a set0up for Sandow to come out dressed as HBK. He got "YOU SCREWED BRET!" chants. That made me laugh. Jericho made fun of him by calling him ugly. Sandow said some stuff. Bret punched him in the face and put him in the Sharpshooter. Jericho ordered the timekeeper to ring the bell. This was somehow intended to be entertaining.

A decent episode of Main Event. Just skip the Highlight Reel.