Kirbs rambles about the 3/18/14 Main Event

[kirbs2002]

Two in one day? What am I doing?

The Rhodes Brothers vs. The Real Americans (w/Zeb Coulter) -- B+

A recap of the previous Smackdown where The Real Americans' beatdown of Cody and Goldust was interrupted by the Usos... The Real Americans would be the #1 contenders if it weren't for the New Age Outlaws... "Uppercut"? It's a a plain slap... Good teamwork, Swagger pulling the leg out from Cody as he tries to get back into the ring... Wow! A sunset flip powerbomb by Goldust! That was sweet!... Crowd seems pretty dead for this match, maybe it's the sound editing... Nice slingshot into a spinebuster by Cesaro and Swagger... That was pretty close to a lowblow there... Good false finishes here... Great opener.

The Funkadatyls vs. Layla & Alicia Fox -- B-

Naomi's pants. Just, geez... Hear that heat for Layla and Fox? Me either... Nice northern lights suplex by Fox... Was that a stinkface by Naomi?... Match was okay. Didn't know how to set my expectations. Good to see the women get decent time to work, though.

A recap of the brutal beatdown Triple H gave to Daniel Bryan.

The Big Show vs. Titus O'Neil -- C

I don't know why I smile at Show quieting the crowd for the overhand chops... Wow, Big Show actually selling and in trouble?... It's a minor gripe, but when they tease a chokeslam and the guy hasn't picked his opponent up, the referee should count out for the blatant choke... Pretty uninteresting match, really.

Come back from commercial to no commentary audio. Someone's going to have their chops busted for this... And a replay of the pro-Lesnar video package from Monday... Paul Heyman out to talk... He's panicked, it's a bit funny, really... This brings us to...

The Undertaker segment -- C

I'm loving how terrified Heyman is... Good lord, I love that look that Taker has on his face... Well, that was quick.

And that's the show. Nothing particularly great happened. It barely earns a Pass