BRM Reviews the 3/14/2014 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

TRIPLE H PROMO- AWESOME!
Hunter has decided to get some revenge on the fans by not booking Dragon on this show. He says that he will end the Yes Movement at Wrestlemania and it is all because of the fans. In a FANTASTIC little bit of double speak, Hunter says “I protected Daniel Bryan for all of you, to give you hope; to have a dream. Because after all, that is what Daniel Bryan and the Yes Movement represent.” In context, it is a line in a heel promo. Out of context, he explains the booking philosophy behind this angle.
Hunter says that he will crush the Yes Movement, along with all of the hopes and dreams of all fans. And to really piss you off, he outright says “at Wrestlemania, I will bury Daniel Bryan.”
Hunter sees Sandow as complicit in the Occupy Raw Movement because he refused to try to crash the ring while it was “occupied.” Hunter gives Sandow a chance to apologize, and he does. Hunter says “Vickie Guerrero” has booked Sandow in the opener… and it just so happens that he will be facing a member of the Shield.

DAMIEN SANDOW vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns)- 3.75/10
This match was WAY too short, but Cole & JBL had some awesome back-and-forth on commentary.
After the match Ambrose teased dissension totally out of nowhere, but it was a swerve, as the reason that he didn’t want to put his fist in with the other two was because he wanted to beat Sandow up some more, so we got an abbreviated version of an (and I can’t believe I’m using this phrase but) “old school” Shield beatdown, ending in a Triple Powerbomb.

BIG E. LANGSTON vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- 1.25/10
Super-short

BAD NEWS BARRETT IS BACK- F*ck! I thought we were done with this stupidity. Based on JBL’s comments, I’m certain this must have been a rib on someone who fell asleep in a meeting.

CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- no rating. GREAT segment.
This week Swagger and Cesaro’s problems manifest themselves as one-upsmanship, tagging in on the other one without consent. They eventually lose when Cody pins Swagger with a backslide. Cesaro and Swagger get some heat after the match but the Usos make the save.

KOFI KINGSTON vs. BRAY WYATT (w/the Wyatt Family)- 5.25/10

KANE & THE SHIELD BACKSTAGE- eh.
Kane wants the Shield at ringside for his match Big Show so they can see how he gets things done. This entire conflict feels so painfully manufactured. Rollins did affirm, however, that “the Shield always does what’s best for business.”

TAMINA SNUKA (w/AJ Lee) vs. NIKKI BELLA (w/Brie Bella)- 2.75/10
Maybe it was just Nikki selling very well, but considering that it is Nikki Bella, I think Tamina really connected with that superkick. The finish did a good job of making Nikki look impressive.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO- 7/10
Del Rio will be in the Andre the Giant battle royale. Hopefully the fact that they got so much time means that these two are out of the doghouse.
After the match, Renee Young interviewed Ziggler and he cut an awesome promo entering himself in the Andre the Giant battle royale. The crowd was really into this. WAKE UP, WWE MANAGEMENT!

CARLOS COLON WILL BE INDUCTED INTO THE WWE HOF- sure.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- okay. Nowhere close to his usual.

BIG SHOW vs. KANE (w/the Shield)- 4/10
They had a short, no-very-good big-man match. The Shield refuses t help Kane when he asks for help, distracting Kane, allowing Show to chokeslam him and get the pin. Afte rhte match Kane tries to chokeslam Rollins as punishment, but Reigns makes the save with a spear. Why the hell is Kane vs. the Shield even a feud?

Overall, not a very good Smackdown.