BRM Reviews the 11/29/2013 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS RANDY ORTON- okay
Randy claiming that he wasn't knocked out and was only playing possum at Survivor Series was heel gold! I didn't like him not responding to any of the Cena or Authority related questions just because it feels like a deliberate stalling of the angle until Raw.

VICKIE BACKSTAGE AT THE THANKSGIVING PARTY- good
I loved Vickie's absolutely insistence that this will not break down into a food fight. I also saw the Gobbledy-Gooker in the background. If he doesn't face El Torito in a "loser gets eaten" match, I will be very disappointed.
Apparently there will also be a food-eating contest.

CURTIS AXEL vs. MARK HENRY (w/Big E. Langston)- 4/10
Early on Ryback sneaked down to ringside and punched Big E. HARD in the back of the head... and Big E. got up a few seconds later and started to challenge Ryback to fight him. This made Big E. look great.

BRODUS, TRUTH,& XAVIER WOODS BACKSTAGE- good segment
So they did acknowledge Woods stealing Brodus' music and the Funkadactyls. I know Bordus is supposed to be overreacting because he is turning heel, but if you are going to claim that Woods "stole" the Funkadactyls, he should dance with them more than just one time, which was with Brodus' permission.
First have Brodus get "injured" and be out for a months or so. Then have Woods start showing up with the Funkadactyls, then when Brodus returns, have him complain about the gimmick-thievery by saying that he only gave Woods permission to do it once, and you have a nice undercard match for the Royal Rumble. There was absolutely no reason to rush this like they did.
Also, Bordus calling himself a "main event player" was hilarious.

MORE STUFF AT THE THANKSGIVING PARTY- apparently AJ and Tamina weren't invited. Then Vickie threatens to book them against everyone else in a food-eating contest. At least that's what I got out of it. Then Titus beat Khali in the food eating contest, and as a reward, he will face Cesaro tonight. Okay...

LOS MATADORES & EL TORITO vs. "THE PLYMOUTH ROCKERS" (because it's Thanksgiving. Get it?)- 3.5/10
I didn't think they made anywhere near enough use of El Torito.

So not only do they run through a month's worth of TV in one segment to set this match up, they also do the match on this show, too?
R-TRUTH & XAVIER WOODS vs. TONS OF FUNK (w/the Funkadactyls)- no rating, great segment
This was too early to do the match, but they did everything perfectly here. Brodus looked angrier than usual, and the way that everything was set up let Tensai be babyface while having Brodus look almost heelish.

CM PUNK PROMO- good

BRAY WYATT PROMO- Apparently they kidnapped Dragon because society thinks Dragon is ugly, too. At this point, I think Bray just wants to start an Evil Society of Well-Bearded Men.

TITUS O'NEIL (w/Darren Young) vs. ANTONIO CESARO (w/Zeb Coulter & Jack Swagger)- no rating. Funny segment. Is there nothing Titus O'Neil can't do?
I was thoroughly disappointed at the lack of Zeb Coulter promo for Thanksgiving, though. Seems like a missed opportunity.

THE TOTAL DIVAS TRIED TO SELL ME WWE MERCH- JoJo was allowed to speak! A momentous day!
Also, at least they all showed an interest in being Divas Champion, so that was good.

CODY & GOLDUST'S MASH-UP ENTRANCE- AWESOME!

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Cody Rhodes & Goldust(c) vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns (w/Dean Ambrose)- 7.25/10
A great match ruined by Ambrose's interference causing a DQ. Punk comes out and makes the save for the Rhodes Brothers. Then Vickie pulls a Teddy Long and makes this into a six man tag team match.

THE SHIELD vs. THE RHODES BROTHERS & CM PUNK- no rating. Pretty soon, the Wyatt's interfere, causing a DQ. Then the Usos and Rey Mysterio Jr. come out to make the save for the babyfaces. Then Vickie makes this a 12-man tag team match...

THE RHODES BROTHERS, THE USOS, CM PUNK & REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. THE WYATT FAMILY & THE SHIELD- 4.5/10
If none of the finishes are going to lead to anything, just book the twelve man tag in the first place!

An okay episode of Smackdown.



STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Michael Cole says that he can't think of anyone with authority in the WWE other than Steph & Hunter. Umm... Vince? Kane? Maddox? Vickie?