BRM Reviews the 10/7/2013 Raw (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Steph telling the Big Show that he didn’t have a soul was a bit over the top, but other than that, this was f*cking great! Steph did a perfect job of coming off as a heel who was trying to fool the crowd into thinking that she was being a babyface. She and Show were both great. Show’s delivery was especially perfect, revealing what we all knew already (that the only reason he came out when he did last night was because Dragon was about to make Orton tap).

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. DAMIEN SANDOW- 4/10
The announcers did a good job explaining why we are getting a rematch from a match with a clean finish last night, and Sandow’s aggressiveness here played into that well. Dolph sold well, but I wish he had gotten more offense in before winning. This made Sandow look weak for losing after taking so little damage. I think a roll-up win for Dolph would have worked better.

STEPH YELLS AT MADDOX BACKSTAGE- great! First they used Scott Armstrong as a patsy, now Brad Maddox.

NATALYA, JOJO, & EVA MARIE vs. AKSANA, ALICIA FOX, & ROSA MENDES- -2/10 (yes, that is a negative)-
So for the newbies first real match, they put them against a team where the best worker on the team is ALICIA FOX. They don’t put them in there with AJ or Paige or someone who could actually carry them. They put them in there against Alicia Fox, who is passable… and two completely terrible workers!
Most of this match consisted of Eva Marie against Aksana... and it was bad. Eva Marie didn’t sell and JoJo didn’t do anything at all. It was only because of Nattie that this wasn’t even worse.
They had to have known that this was going to suck, so why would you do it on Raw? Hype it up for Superstars or something (if you have the show, you might as well try to get people to watch it), then tape it before Raw. That way if it sucks, you can try again before the Smackdown tapings and if it is still atrocious, you can clip it so it doesn’t look so horrendous,

BRAD MADDOX ANNOUNCES THE HELL IN A CELL MATCH FOR THE WWE TITLE- so in addition to Hell in a Cell, we will have a special guest referee which we, the WWE Universe, are going to get to choose. One of the choices is Booker T.
So we are getting a gimmick to ensure that there is a winner (HIAC) which is also supposed to prevent interference), and then we are also getting a gimmick to ensure that there is a winner (Special Guest Ref), that almost always lead to interference. Huh?

LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito) vs. 3MB (w/Heath Slater)-DUD!
Okay… now I’m pissed off. Not only is this the third straight show we have had this match on, but on Smackdown, we got the following exchange during 3MB’s promo:
Paraphrasing
Slater: we could deal with El Torito if we had a rope
Jinder: Drew has a rope!
Slater: Yeah, but he’s not here this week.
So here we are next week, and Drew is here… BUT HE DIDN’T BRING HIS ROPE! WHAT THE F*CK?!

Anyway, the match was the same two minute match they have had twice before. I will admit that the post match stuff was fun, and Heath took an awesome bump for El Tortio.


Cole tells us that Vickie is here tonight because she got a special invite from Triple H. FINALLY! A reason for the other GM to show up! And all it took was one simple line by an announcer. See how easy it is to cut out a potential inconsistency?

PAUL HEYMAN GUYS PROMO & SEGMENT WITH PUNK- good. Also, it set up…

CM PUNK & R-TRUTH vs. CURTIS AXEL & RYBACK (w/Paul Heyman)- 5/10
The finish would have worked SO MUCH BETTER if Punk hadn’t hit Axel with the GTS. If Truth is going to get the pin, get him be the one to really put Axel down. The way that they did this made it seem like Punk was just throwing Truth a bone.

BOB BACKLUND IS THE NEXT REFEREE CANDIDATE- Oh dear God, please do let Bob Backlund be the ref of this match. He vows that, if the match get sout of control, he will put someone in the crossface chickenwing. I, for one, don’t want to see the referee get physically involved in the match. And did he say “if” the match gets “out of control?” IT’S A F*CKING HELL IN A CELL MATCH! It is supposed to get out of control!

KOFI KINGSTON vs. RANDY ORTON- 6.5/10
Dragon jumps Orton after the match.

VICKIE & DEL RIO BACKSTAGE- eh

HBK IS THE NEXT REFEREE CANDIDATE- damn it! I really need to keep up with fantasy booking so that WWE doesn’t beat me to crap like this! Anyway, seeing as how HBK is the only one who got to cut a competent promo, I assume he is going to be the Special Guest Referee.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. RICARDO RODRIGUEZ- DUD!
So Vickie announces that Del Rio will defend the World Heavyweight Title at Hell in a Cell against John Cena, and this distracts Del Rio so Ricardo can roll him up from behind and get the pin. I don’t care that there was a distraction, you do not have a f*cking ring announcer go over the World Champion!

POST-MATCH ATTACK- vicious.

ZACK RYDER vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)-2/10
Fandango seems to have gone out of his way to dress… how can I say this without sounding offensive?… like a member of the Christopher Street Connection. Like he is intentionally dressing like a stereotype of an effeminate gay man.
Ryder gets all of the offense, then gets put down with just two moves.

SANTINO MARELLA & THE GREAT KHALI (w/Hornswoggle) vs. THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- DUD!
Oh. Look. Another rematch from last night. And the same exact finish, too. BOOO!
And to make matters even worse, the heels get humiliated after the match. WHAT THE F*CK?!

MIZ & WYATT SEGMENT-So the Wyatts beat up Kofi Kingston, but they MIZ get away? Come on!

HUNTER, STEPH, & MADDOX BACKSTAGE- Maddox is in the doghouse.

THE SHIELD vs. CODY RHODES, GOLDUST, & DANIEL BRYAN- 6.5/10
The Shield got DQed for a blatant weapon shot, but Hunter orders the match restarted because he doesn’t want another lame finish in a main event… and then Orton comes out and attacks Dragon, leading to the heels winning. The Shield go for a post-match beatdown (specifically on Hunter’s orders)... then Big Show shows up at the top of the ramp. The Shield try to beat him down but Show prevails, then KOs Hunter.

Not a very good Raw. There were way too many pointless rematches, and the build to Hell in a Cell doesn’t seem too interesting so far. Oh. And that horrific women’s match.