BRM Reviews the 10/4/2013 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Big Show was good, and this was a great segment if you ignore the horribly flawed premise (I mean even if we ignore the Iron-Clad contract thing, what does it say about WWE’s pay-scale that a former multi-time world champion is so broke that he can’t make the money back in a few months. WWE wrestlers are supposed to be RICH! They get paid tons of money because they are SUPERSTARS!)

ROB VAN DAM (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- DUD!
So we got a short match until Summer Rae pushes RVD off the top rope right in front of the ref for a blatant DQ. Summer Rae’s prancing about in triumph and looking so darn proud of herself for this was the only thing here that was worth a damn.
Fandango beats RVD up a bit after the match and then goes to find some weapons, but he can’t find any on the two sides he looked under the ring for. Ricardo distracts him, then RVD hits him with a baseball slide. If you want RVD to come of this on top… JUST PUT HIM OVER CLEAN! It’s not like Fandnago needs to be protected for some reason!
RVD then gets a garbage can (so the babyface is the one to introduce a weapon into this, and after he has already soundly defeated the heel) and hits Fandango with a Van Terminator. To put the cheery-shaped turd on top of this sh*t sundae, Summer Rae shows great concern for Fandango’s wellbeing… and Ricardo Rodriguez, a babyface, thought that this behavior should be mocked. WHAT THE F*CK?!
This should have been the EASIEST F*CKING THING IN THE WORLD TO BOOK! RVD goes over clean, then Ricardo attacks him from behind (to make us want to see RVD get his revenge) with a weapon (to put over the hardcore rules). BOOKING 101! And yet WWE f*cked it up! You don’t need to show us the hardcore stuff that RVD can do because we know what he can do already. And even if we didn’t, you spent a segment on Raw showing off this great compilation video you made on your Facebook page of all the cool hardcore things RVD can do (and they even showed the same video later in this show)!

R-TRUTH vs. RYBACK (w/Paul Heyman & Michael McGillicutty)- as good as they could have possibly done in the three minutes they got. After the match, McGillicutty taunts Truth with the IC Title belt.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS ALBERTO DEL RIO- okay

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER- 7.5/10
You know what would be another good reason to do what I suggested for the RVD-Fandango match? You have already used Del Rio on the show, so you don’t have to job Ziggler out to him tonight for no reason, so Ziggler doesn’t have to job cleanly for no reason going into the PPV!
Seriously. Why have Sandow out there if he isn’t going to interfere? Is there actually any heat beat Sandow and Ziggler at all?!

3MB PROMO- Amusing, and it creates a kayfabe reason for why we are getting the same damn match we got on Raw.

HEATH SLATER & JINDER MAHAL vs. LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito)- 2.5/10

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO- okay

AKSANA vs. BRIE BELLA (w/Nikki Bella)- DUD!
A nothing match and they blew finish by having Aksana’s foot on the rope (she actually had to make a big effort to get her foot off of the rope in the middle of the pinfall. And shouldn’t Dragon be coming out to the ring with Brie now that they are engaged and all?
After the match, AJ showed up (w/Tamina) and cut a decent heel promo on Brie.

BIG E. LANGSTON vs. KOFI KINGSTON- DUD!
Big E. gets rolled up in under a minute.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- umm… okay… so what happened? Did they beat Kofi up? Did they let him go? What happened?

HANDICAP MATCH: The Shield & Randy Orton vs. The Big Show- no rating. Okay segment.
The heels go to Pillmanizer Big Show’s neck but the Usos and Dragon make the save.

Overall, a bad episode of Smackdown aside from the Del Rio vs. Ziggler match