BRM Reviews the 5/9/2013 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- not so good.
Kurt makes a whole big deal about how AJ “can turn the tide in the battle with Aces & Eights,” which would be great IF WE HADN’T SEEN STING & HOGAN BEAT UP THE WHOLE STABLE BY THEMSELVES TWO WEEKS AGO!
Sting’s whole thing about TNA Aces & Eights kicking TNA’s butt without AJ would mean a whole lot more if anyone in TNA ever tried to make a save for each other!
Then, just two minutes after saying how much TNA needs AJ, Kurt all of a sudden gets in AJ’s face and starts shouting “I’M TIRED OF THIS CRAP!” What changed in those two minutes? Furthermore, as we have seen with James Storm over the past month, AJ does not respond well to people shouting in his face.
So AJ and Kurt start to brawl, and rather than try to pull them apart and keep any chance at all of AJ being part of Team TNA tonight, Sting just watches them fight. This was done so that Aces & Eights could sneak up behind Sting and give him a 3-D. Good ideas, but poor execution. It would have been much better to have Sting try to break up the fight and then have the whole group of Aces & Eights guys attack Kurt and Sting, so Aces & Eights seem like they are trying to help AJ.

MICKIE JAMES & VELVET SKY vs. GAIL KIM & TARA (w/Jessie Godderz)- 3.25/10
Jessie is back at ringside with Tara, after an entirely unexplained absence for the past few weeks. Velvet pins Tara despite having an injured leg, doing absolutely nothing to build up to a Knockouts Title match at the PPV in three weeks. Instead, we get one heel attacking the other after the match and putting her in a Figure Four with the Ringpost. If they are trying to build Gail up as a challenger, wouldn’t it have been a lot more productive to have Gail attack VELVET after the match and put the Ringpost Assisted Figure Four on her to damage her ALREADY INJURED KNEE?

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- everyone is being a dick to D’Lo for one screw-up. So much for the whole brotherhood schtik.

BAD INFLUENCE & JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE- fun.

ACES & EIGHTS SEGMENT- As I said last week, they are just being ridiculously unfair to D’Lo. Yeah, I know they are heels, but this just makes the whole “brotherhood” thing look ridiculous. When Knux, Devon, and Doc lost their masks, it was said that they were jeopardizing the Aces & Eights’ whole evil plan… but D’Lo gets almost goaded into “swearing on his colors,” then loses a match and now he is being kicked out?
Furthermore, when Knux and Doc lost their masks, they were told they had to do something big to make up for it. Here, Bully tells D’Lo that is DOC loses a match, D’Lo will be out of the club. WTF?

MAGNUS vs. DOC- 4.25/10
D’Lo accidentally costs Doc the match. I guess he is getting kicked out of Aces & Eights just two months after being revealed as a member.

ACES & EIGHTS- yup, D’Lo gets demoted to being a prospect member. Does anyone really care at all?

HOGAN, STING & ANGLE BACKSTAGE- Hogan says he got a call from someone who wants to be their tag partner tonight, but, for some unexplained reason, he doesn’t tell them who. Angle & Sting say they would rather have Magnus team with them tonight. This would have been good if Magnus had actually been fresh! If you want Magnus in this main event spot, then why not give EY the tainted win over Doc so Magnus can be fresh for the main event?

ARIES, ROODE, & STORM BACKSTAGE- Great segment. Roode was AWESOME here.

TAG TEAM TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH WITH JAMES STORM AS THE SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: Austin Aries & Bobby Roode vs. Bad Influence- 4/10
Christie f*cked up the ring entrance, introducing Aries and Roode as Bad Influence.
This match was going great until they decided to get James Storm involved, and eh winds up Superkicking both Aries and Daniels and then just walks off (while the sound guy plays his music for some reason), giving this match NO FINISH AT ALL!



ACES & EIGHTS TAKE OUT MAGNUS BACKSTAGE- silly me! Here I was thinking TNA was actually going to let someone like Magnus have a spot where he could look like almost an equal with guys like Kurt Angle, Sting, Mr. Anderson and World Heavyweight Champion Bully Ray… but no. The beatdown was done very well, but I’m not happy with the result.

KENNY KING PROMO & SEGMENT WITH CHRIS SABIN- F*CKING AMAZING! ONE OF THE BEST YOU WILL EVER SEE! I want to see Sabin win the belt SO BADLY right now!

SOMEONE JUMPED JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE- hmmm… this could get interesting. Lots of intriguing possibilities here.

At this point we got a segment where the announcers wondered who Sting and Angle could possibly get to be their partner now that Magnus got injured. Um… SAMOA JOE? ERIC YOUNG?! JOSPEH PARK?! Um… ANYONE ON THE ENTIRE ROSTER which we have constantly been told is “united against the Aces & Eights!”

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Bully says they need to “weed out the weak” so D’Lo must leave because he gave up in an I Quit Match… and yet Garrett and Wes, who probably haven’t won a match cleanly in ten months, are allowed to stay.

ACES & EIGHTS (Bull Ray, Mr. Anderson, & Devon) vs. STING, KURT ANGLE, & ?- 6/10
Was going decently well until the finish. Abyss makes his big return, which I found extremely underwhelming. Anyway, Abyss shows up and apparently becomes part of the match as there was no DQ for him attacking the Aces & Eights guys, and the ref counted the pin when Abyss pinned Devon (even though Abyss never got the tag so he wasn’t the legal match)… but there was also no DQ for him Chokeslamming Anderson through the table.

Anyway, Abyss’ motivations will hopefully be explained next week. There are really only two ways they can go with this (either Abyss IS Joseph Park, or Abyss came back to fight off the group that attacked his brother), but both of them seem to have some pretty major flaws (especially the first one). I’m really not excited for this. The whole thing felt very underwhelming, and I was hoping that TNA would actually try to make a new star, rather than rely on an old one.


Taz and Tenay kept going back and forth between purposely being jerks to each other and making friendly jokes with each other, which was both annoying and broke kayfabe. One interesting development on this show was that Anderson seems to be trying to take a much bigger role in Aces & Eights, and Bully seems to be liking it. That could be something to keep an eye on. If not for the Chris Sabin-Kenny King segment, this show would have been crap. Not a good episode of Imapct. They REALLY need to be doing some more coherent build towards Slammiversary at this point.

[cero2k]

ACES & EIGHTS (Bull Ray, Mr. Anderson, & Devon) vs. STING, KURT ANGLE, & ?- 6/10
Was going decently well until the finish. Abyss makes his big return, which I found extremely underwhelming. Anyway, Abyss shows up and apparently becomes part of the match as there was no DQ for him attacking the Aces & Eights guys, and the ref counted the pin when Abyss pinned Devon (even though Abyss never got the tag so he wasn’t the legal match)… but there was also no DQ for him Chokeslamming Anderson through the table.

Anyway, Abyss’ motivations will hopefully be explained next week. There are really only two ways they can go with this (either Abyss IS Joseph Park, or Abyss came back to fight off the group that attacked his brother), but both of them seem to have some pretty major flaws (especially the first one). I’m really not excited for this. The whole thing felt very underwhelming, and I was hoping that TNA would actually try to make a new star, rather than rely on an old one.

putting people through tables is not DQ. can't blame gravity

I also have a bad feeling they're gonna completely crap all over the Joseph Park story

[KILLdozer]

A

Anyway, Abyss’ motivations will hopefully be explained next week. There are really only two ways they can go with this (either Abyss IS Joseph Park, or Abyss came back to fight off the group that attacked his brother), but both of them seem to have some pretty major flaws (especially the first one). I’m really not excited for this. The whole thing felt very underwhelming, and I was hoping that TNA would actually try to make a new star, rather than rely on an old one.

Well, its looking like theyre gonna need a new VP, Which was one minor thing that bothers me here...Was Dlo not second in command not too long ago????? The lack of respect for his position it seemed, was strange.

[badnewzxl]

1) the whole stink about D'Lo was about him saying 'I Quit' after insisting he be the one to fight Angle. He SHOULD have been kicked out after ruining Doc's match (when the others lost their masks, they had to do something to make up for it bc then everyone was hidden. Once they started unmasking themselves, the taboo was lifted anyways. Plus, they didn't lose their masks by losing matches, so I don't get where you were going there), it should have been the final straw. It looks like he might become the Vincent of this group :-w

2) I wish they would have made a bigger deal about Abyss's return, tho it was a delightful surprise. He is CRUCIAL to this angle with Aces & Eights, imo. I'm hoping they go with the "Joseph Park IS Abyss" angle; I don't see any holes in it. One appeared looking for the other when the other vanished; I've had my fingers crossed for this explanation ever since Joseph Park first appeared. Abyss DOES have a history of mental illness; seems pretty solid to me. I can't wait to see TNA have both these characters running around backstage :)) ....

[Big Red Machine]

Well, its looking like theyre gonna need a new VP, Which was one minor thing that bothers me here...Was Dlo not second in command not too long ago????? The lack of respect for his position it seemed, was strange.

Which is interesting when combined with Anderson's increasing leadership role.

[Big Red Machine]

1) the whole stink about D'Lo was about him saying 'I Quit' after insisting he be the one to fight Angle. He SHOULD have been kicked out after ruining Doc's match (when the others lost their masks, they had to do something to make up for it bc then everyone was hidden. Once they started unmasking themselves, the taboo was lifted anyways. Plus, they didn't lose their masks by losing matches, so I don't get where you were going there), it should have been the final straw. It looks like he might become the Vincent of this group :-w

2) I wish they would have made a bigger deal about Abyss's return, tho it was a delightful surprise. He is CRUCIAL to this angle with Aces & Eights, imo. I'm hoping they go with the "Joseph Park IS Abyss" angle; I don't see any holes in it. One appeared looking for the other when the other vanished; I've had my fingers crossed for this explanation ever since Joseph Park first appeared. Abyss DOES have a history of mental illness; seems pretty solid to me. I can't wait to see TNA have both these characters running around backstage :)) ....

1. You are missing the point here. When Doc and knux lost their masks, they got in trouble because they lost their masks because, as Aces & Eights kept saying "anonymity is power," and losing their masks made them lose their anonymity. Losing matches is irrelevant to Aces & Eights (aside from Bully). They're not trying to win wrestling matches- they are trying to hurt people. If winning were so important to them, they wouldn't have caused so many clusterduck interference DQs. Until last week, matches has not been portrayed as being important to them at all (again, aside from Bully). Losing their masks, on the other hand, was portrayed as jeopardizing their entire mission (and the fact that it didn't is a testament to how crappy this storyline has been).

2. Joseph Park IS Abyss has two major logical holes in it: First, a lawyer shows up looking for Chris Park claiming to be his brother Joseph... I would hope that TNA would look into a verify this claim (especially since Hogan eventually used him and his firm for legal work. I suppose it is possible that "Joseph Park" and "Abyss" are both personalities of the mentally ill man known as Chris Park, but then surely Joseph's long absence during the long time Chris Parks spent as Abyss wrestling for TNA every night for years would have been noted by his law firm, but either way, that still doesn't deal with even more insurmountable flaw with this angle: We have seen Abyss and Joseph at the same time.

[Big Bad Booty Daddy]

But on a plus side Christy Hemme's tits looked TERRIFIC on this weeks Impact =p~


Average IMPACT this week not one of the best!!


On another note, Did u guys see The Suicide return promo?

[Big Bad Booty Daddy]

But more importantly who will play Suicide!!

[Nic]

ok its time for the crazy guy to speak (Phreak lol)

anyways TNA hurts my head...there seems to be no logic to much if not anything, and yes I know its very doubtful, but I still think (and i go back and forth with my bother about it) Vince and the WWE owns TNA or at the very least has invested into it or they are just in hogans pocket.

anyways, TNA is alot like WWE (in a bad way) they only count on very few people to do a majority of the crap (WWE: Cena, Shamus, Show, Orton, Del Rio and i maybe missing a couple) (TNA: Hogan, Sting, Bully, Hardy) to the point they believe with everything they are that they can not count on any one else to "tow the line" and it scares them. but like I said TNA hurts my head because even with my bi-polar skitz-effective ass I can't even see/tell where they are going with shit (other then sting winning the belt and a Hogan/Sting match possible)

they bring in A's and 8's as this big bad ass biker gang, but yet they run when two 60 year old men limp to the ring (they can't charge the ring without people laughing) now lets skip over all the bullshit to this point and time..everyone wants to take the belt off bully cause now A's & 8's have "all the power" (yeah so did he-man) but yet they don't do a god damn thing to prove they have the power or to "abuse" said power to put them in control

((put knux and doc as a tag team &/or Bishoff/Brisco to take the tag belts, recruit Gail or Tera and give her the Womens belt and get someone like anderson to take the X-division belt...then da-dah you have complete control)

but no instead this big bad group that "has all the power" is at the whim of the GM who they won control of the "Impact zone" from ((which shouldnt they still have control of any arena they are in?)) anyways, either step it up where A's & 8's have controll and will abuse the hell out of that power (cause they are the "bad guys") or give the damn belt to someone else

as for Matt Morgan..this fucker is your giant, he's even bigger than Abyss...so why not play him as the big bad giant that pretty much says "My way or the high way" and take the belt ((which i believe he does deserve)) instead of relying on your broken down guys (sting, hogan, hardy)...Morgan has proved he can get shut down and he's also proved that he can be the asshole in order to get his way...so why not go with it?

Abyss/Park: this is a shit fest IMO, yes it was cool that abyss vanished and joe showed up to find him...good for the big/little brother being worried about his sibbling..but how the bloody hell will you pull it off if it was shown with them two at the same time? the old mirror gag? you know "Joe is talken to abyss, but when the camera changed, he's just talken to himself in the mirror"? there is really no way imo to fix this issue other then the mirror gag or something more psychotic than I can think of at this point and time

but really (and this is for WWE also) stop relying on the proven horse and boring the fans and throw something new TNA always says some bullshit lie about this is where the new stars are born or are shown or some crap (to be honest I zone out alot with 97% of the things they do and say) but yet all we see is Hogan, Sting, Hardy, Bully and the same lil cluster fuck bullshit we have seen for years ((YaY Hogan Era #-o ))

so really my question is (since i rambled all over the place) what will happen, when Hogan, Sting, Hardy, Bully can't do anything? they get stuck on the shelf or they call it quits? your just going to stand there with your dicks in your hands and nothing else

[Nic]

But more importantly who will play Suicide!!

didn't they have like 3 people play suicide?

i didnt see the promo...what would bringing him back do? just beef up a poorly laid out X-division?

Hemmi's tits always look great

as for the "tech" that does the music when they were here in OKC they played Hogans and Stings theme all night for everyone that entered the ring...even the knock outs...we (the fans) started booing and yelling that he sucks and hemmi was like "give him a chance guys, hes new" hey fuck nuts..your in front of a computer with the wrestlers name and themes next to eachother...cant be hard to point and click

[Big Red Machine]

But more importantly who will play Suicide!!

Even more importantly: why the hell would thbey bring back such an idiotic gimmick?

[Nic]

But more importantly who will play Suicide!!

Even more importantly: why the hell would they bring back such an idiotic gimmick?

Please Remember what Forum we are in...that should explain it alot

[badnewzxl]

1) the whole stink about D'Lo was about him saying 'I Quit' after insisting he be the one to fight Angle. He SHOULD have been kicked out after ruining Doc's match (when the others lost their masks, they had to do something to make up for it bc then everyone was hidden. Once they started unmasking themselves, the taboo was lifted anyways. Plus, they didn't lose their masks by losing matches, so I don't get where you were going there), it should have been the final straw. It looks like he might become the Vincent of this group :-w

2) I wish they would have made a bigger deal about Abyss's return, tho it was a delightful surprise. He is CRUCIAL to this angle with Aces & Eights, imo. I'm hoping they go with the "Joseph Park IS Abyss" angle; I don't see any holes in it. One appeared looking for the other when the other vanished; I've had my fingers crossed for this explanation ever since Joseph Park first appeared. Abyss DOES have a history of mental illness; seems pretty solid to me. I can't wait to see TNA have both these characters running around backstage :)) ....

1. You are missing the point here. When Doc and knux lost their masks, they got in trouble because they lost their masks because, as Aces & Eights kept saying "anonymity is power," and losing their masks made them lose their anonymity. Losing matches is irrelevant to Aces & Eights (aside from Bully). They're not trying to win wrestling matches- they are trying to hurt people. If winning were so important to them, they wouldn't have caused so many clusterduck interference DQs. Until last week, matches has not been portrayed as being important to them at all (again, aside from Bully). Losing their masks, on the other hand, was portrayed as jeopardizing their entire mission (and the fact that it didn't is a testament to how crappy this storyline has been).

2. Joseph Park IS Abyss has two major logical holes in it: First, a lawyer shows up looking for Chris Park claiming to be his brother Joseph... I would hope that TNA would look into a verify this claim (especially since Hogan eventually used him and his firm for legal work. I suppose it is possible that "Joseph Park" and "Abyss" are both personalities of the mentally ill man known as Chris Park, but then surely Joseph's long absence during the long time Chris Parks spent as Abyss wrestling for TNA every night for years would have been noted by his law firm, but either way, that still doesn't deal with even more insurmountable flaw with this angle: We have seen Abyss and Joseph at the same time.

1. I think it's more on the principle of basically DEMANDING to represent the group, then giving up. He literally said "I quit" when he was put on a pedestal to represent for the group. It makes perfect sense that he'd be chastised as he has.

2. Let's not expect a perfectly explained storyline here; we all know the quick answer would be that Hogan and Co. were so focused on Aces & Eights and that Joseph Parks came off as such a non-threat that they just took his word for it. He gave them no reason to be suspicious so why waste time looking into his past when there is an invading faction ruining your show?

[Big Red Machine]

1) the whole stink about D'Lo was about him saying 'I Quit' after insisting he be the one to fight Angle. He SHOULD have been kicked out after ruining Doc's match (when the others lost their masks, they had to do something to make up for it bc then everyone was hidden. Once they started unmasking themselves, the taboo was lifted anyways. Plus, they didn't lose their masks by losing matches, so I don't get where you were going there), it should have been the final straw. It looks like he might become the Vincent of this group :-w

2) I wish they would have made a bigger deal about Abyss's return, tho it was a delightful surprise. He is CRUCIAL to this angle with Aces & Eights, imo. I'm hoping they go with the "Joseph Park IS Abyss" angle; I don't see any holes in it. One appeared looking for the other when the other vanished; I've had my fingers crossed for this explanation ever since Joseph Park first appeared. Abyss DOES have a history of mental illness; seems pretty solid to me. I can't wait to see TNA have both these characters running around backstage :)) ....

1. You are missing the point here. When Doc and knux lost their masks, they got in trouble because they lost their masks because, as Aces & Eights kept saying "anonymity is power," and losing their masks made them lose their anonymity. Losing matches is irrelevant to Aces & Eights (aside from Bully). They're not trying to win wrestling matches- they are trying to hurt people. If winning were so important to them, they wouldn't have caused so many clusterduck interference DQs. Until last week, matches has not been portrayed as being important to them at all (again, aside from Bully). Losing their masks, on the other hand, was portrayed as jeopardizing their entire mission (and the fact that it didn't is a testament to how crappy this storyline has been).

2. Joseph Park IS Abyss has two major logical holes in it: First, a lawyer shows up looking for Chris Park claiming to be his brother Joseph... I would hope that TNA would look into a verify this claim (especially since Hogan eventually used him and his firm for legal work. I suppose it is possible that "Joseph Park" and "Abyss" are both personalities of the mentally ill man known as Chris Park, but then surely Joseph's long absence during the long time Chris Parks spent as Abyss wrestling for TNA every night for years would have been noted by his law firm, but either way, that still doesn't deal with even more insurmountable flaw with this angle: We have seen Abyss and Joseph at the same time.

1. I think it's more on the principle of basically DEMANDING to represent the group, then giving up. He literally said "I quit" when he was put on a pedestal to represent for the group. It makes perfect sense that he'd be chastised as he has.

2. Let's not expect a perfectly explained storyline here; we all know the quick answer would be that Hogan and Co. were so focused on Aces & Eights and that Joseph Parks came off as such a non-threat that they just took his word for it. He gave them no reason to be suspicious so why waste time looking into his past when there is an invading faction ruining your show?

1. I'm not saying he shouldn't be chastised. I'm saying that there is a ridiculous inconsistency here. D'Lo is the freakin' VP of the club. Why is it that his punishment, which is for something that didn't jeopardize their evil plan, is much harsher than the punishment that two much less senior members got when they did something that actually did jeopardize their evil plan.

2. I think we have every right to expect a perfectly explained storyline, and if we don't get one, we have the right to call TNA out on it. I'm not saying that Hogan and Dixie should have done all of the research themselves. They're the bosses. They have people to do that for them. How idiotic would Hogan have to be to not have someone check the background credentials of a lawyer before having that lawyer do work for his company?

[badnewzxl]

1. Did you miss the part where Bully asked D'Lo if he was willing to put his colors up? When he stepped up and demanded the match, he said he'd put his jacket on it that he'd win. That's why I don't believe they're overreacting. Then, to your point, when he was given the opportunity to make up for it, he blew that as well.

2.Yes, you have the right to expect a well organized and told storyline.... except not from TNA, lol. To expect that would require amnesia; how many TNA storylines can you remember that didn't have holes? When it comes to TNA, one must adjust one's expectations or its almost impossible to enjoy the show....

[Big Red Machine]

1. Did you miss the part where Bully asked D'Lo if he was willing to put his colors up? When he stepped up and demanded the match, he said he'd put his jacket on it that he'd win. That's why I don't believe they're overreacting. Then, to your point, when he was given the opportunity to make up for it, he blew that as well.

2.Yes, you have the right to expect a well organized and told storyline.... except not from TNA, lol. To expect that would require amnesia; how many TNA storylines can you remember that didn't have holes? When it comes to TNA, one must adjust one's expectations or its almost impossible to enjoy the show....

1. Yes but it felt that he was, in essence goaded into saying it by Bully. D'Lo had just said that he guaranteed a win, and then Bully asked him if he would swear it on his colors. What was he supposed to do? Guarantee a win, but then not swear it on his colors? That would make him look like an idiot. I see what you are saying, but it just feels like a ridiculous over reaction.

2. I really don't like that line of reasoning. If someone is feeding you sh*t all of the time, you don't have to learn to like the taste.

[badnewzxl]

1. Did you miss the part where Bully asked D'Lo if he was willing to put his colors up? When he stepped up and demanded the match, he said he'd put his jacket on it that he'd win. That's why I don't believe they're overreacting. Then, to your point, when he was given the opportunity to make up for it, he blew that as well.

2.Yes, you have the right to expect a well organized and told storyline.... except not from TNA, lol. To expect that would require amnesia; how many TNA storylines can you remember that didn't have holes? When it comes to TNA, one must adjust one's expectations or its almost impossible to enjoy the show....

1. Yes but it felt that he was, in essence goaded into saying it by Bully. D'Lo had just said that he guaranteed a win, and then Bully asked him if he would swear it on his colors. What was he supposed to do? Guarantee a win, but then not swear it on his colors? That would make him look like an idiot. I see what you are saying, but it just feels like a ridiculous over reaction.

2. I really don't like that line of reasoning. If someone is feeding you sh*t all of the time, you don't have to learn to like the taste.

looks like we're having a VINTAGE BRM v BNXL moment here, lol.

1. I understand your sympathy for D' Lo; I just don't share it.

2. love your analogy, but IF someone's feeding you shit all the time, why would you expect filet mignon suddenly? I feel like expecting a masterful storyline from TNA is like expecting a five star meal at Burger King. When I go to Burger King, I set my expectations at 'Whopper Jr" or "Diarrhea" so I'm never far off....

[Big Bad Booty Daddy]

But more importantly who will play Suicide!!

Even more importantly: why the hell would thbey bring back such an idiotic gimmick?

True, maybe they will have Eric Young, Rock Star Spud or some dude who's not been on tv lately play him!!