Anyone else find it suspicious that the “picture taken by an employee from his phone” of Lesnar and Heyman in the lobby looks suspiciously like it caae from a security camera.
RANDY ORTON vs. DAMIEN SANDOW- 4.5/10
Before the match, Sandow parodied Orton’s theme song. This was MUST-SEE!
After the match, Big Show attacks Orton… so pretty much the same thing as on Smackdown, except that Show attacks Orton himself, rather than Sandow doing it while Show distracts Orton.
R-TRUTH vs. FANDANGO (w/not Summer Rae)-DUD!
Jericho comes out and mispronounces Fandango’s name on purpose. Seen it before. The he decides that he, and Tons of Funk are going to form a panel to judge Fandango’s dancing… and I guess Vickie Guerrero approved it (even though it’s out of character) because there is already a table set up for them. Anyway, Tons of Funk decide to be out of character jerks by giving Fandango a purposely low score. Anyway, with the babyfaces being jerks, the overly-sensitive Fandango walks away like a little b*tch. How does this get him heat?
DANIEL BRYAN PROMO- oh come on! We’re getting ANOTHER damn Smackdown remat-WHOA! Kane vs. Ryback? Sure, I’ll watch that.
ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E. Langston)- 6/10
I’m confused? Did Del Rio hit an inverted Superplex? Or did Dolph hit a super shiranui?
The brawl afterwards was great. Swagger needed some heat and he got it here.
KAITLYN’S SECRET ADMIRIER SEGMENT- they wanted Khali to find out who Kaitlyn’s secret admirer is? SNORE! At least the angle feels like it is moving forward, though. The Bella’s showing up at the end was just SOOO cheesy, although I guess they are trying to hint that there is no admirer and the BEllas are just being assholes.
THE SHIELD vs. THE USOS & KOFI KINGSTON- 5/10
Ambrose’s finisher looked sick (I think it is the same as Matt Taven’s) and getting a win over Kofi should be big. I also enjoyed JBL marking out for Reigns doing a Clothesline From Hell.
ANTONIO CESARO vs. ZACK RYDER- complete and total squash
ANTONIO CESARO PROMO- great… but it would have been a lot better if he hadn’t spent the last five months as a jobber to the stars!
At least they seem to be trying to make Main Event more important
STUFF WITH HEYMAN & LESNAR TRASHING HUNTER’S OFFICE- this just felt like a gigantic waste of time (although they seemed to do a decent job of planting the seeds for Lesnar getting a title shot or a match with The Rock, though that could have been done just as easily many other ways). Paul E being a dick was funny, but the whole thing just feels so minor. Yeah, they did a lot of damage to Hunter’s office… but the whole thing just felt small.
Oh, and does Hunter really leave his office unlocked when he isn’t going to be there all day? That seems like a poor business decision. It also would have made Brock look a lot more badass to just kick open the locked door.
And, of course, I am quite angry at them breaking kayfabe and showing Hunter’s shoot name. No one thinks this is a shoot, aside from kids who aren’t old enough to know it is a work… and all using Hunter’s shoot name does is make those kids wonder why “Hunter Hearst Helmsley” is spelled “Paul Levesque.”
HEYMAN PROMO- F*CKING AWESOME!
TRIPLE H PROMO- okay… but looks even worse when compared to the Paul E promo he interrupted.
THE FUNKADACTYLS & KAITLYN vs. THE BELLA TWINS & AJ LEE- 0.5/10
So Kaitlyn pins AJ, getting rid of her heat for their title match. How, exactly, was this productive?
MARK HENRY & SHEAMUS SEGMENT- Henry’s promo started off awesome, but it dragged on a bit too long. He f*cking owned the crowd! That’s what you idiots get for doing that f*cking obnoxious “WHAT?” chant! Austin’s gone. GET OVER IT!
Then Sheamus came out and showed a video of himself being a dick last week. Lawler is really pissing me off right now. A babyface could steal a car on national and TV and Lawler would condone it. OH. Wait. That already happened, didn’t it.
Anyway, they almost fight, but then Wade Barrett comes out for his match instead.
SHEAMUS vs. WADE BARRETT- 4/10
The IC Champion loses for no damn reason. If you were going to have Henry attack Sheamus after the match, just make it a damn DQ so Barrett doesn’t look so damn weak!
KANE vs. RYBACK- 5/10
Not close to being good enough for a main event.
After the match the Shield shows up. Dragon comes out to help Kane but Ryback slips out of the ring. Cena then comes to join the babyfaces… and somebody totally read my review from a 4/22 and figured “well… better late than never”
Overall, a bad episode of RawIf I were booking this, during the course of the fight, I would have had Ryback also grab a chair, then, after the Shield has been chased off, I would have had Ryback and Cena celebrate together like they are friends again… until Cena turns his back and Ryback blasts him with a chair.