BRM Reviews the 12/27/2012 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Bully Ray calls out Hulk Hogan but Brooke comes out instead. She tells him that Hulk Hogan knows about them, but she has no idea how he found out. IT WAS ON YOUR OWN F*CKING TV SHOW! DO YOU NOT WATCH THE TV SHOW THE YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF HELPING TO PRODUCE?!
The fans just pooped all over this, as well they should have. This was a horrendous way to start the show.
Also, Hulk Hogan was called out for Open Fight Night and didn’t show up. Shouldn’t he be in trouble now? Tenay even said that if a challenge is issued, it has to be answered.

AUSTIN ARIES CALLS PROMO- Not going to commercial (or a video package or a backstage interview of anything) between the last segment and this one was a good touch. Aries promo was good, too.

JOE PROMO- okay, but if the Aces & Eights guys have to answer challenges too and the masks are important, why doesn’t someone just call out their leader then rip his mask off?

SAMOA JOE vs. A GUY FROM ACES & EIGHTS- DUD!
Joe put this guy down way too quickly. This guy should be a threat. He shouldn’t be losing clean in three minutes. Then Joe goes to take his mask off but the other Aces & Eights guys make the save. This would have been good if they had actually shown the masks to be important, but we have now had two people unmasked with no consequences at all, so why should a third matter?

JESSIE GODDERZ & THE ROBBIES BACKSTAGE- SNORE!

KENNY KING & CHRISTIAN YORK BACKSTAGE- decent

THE BRO-OFF- a giant waste of time, but once Rob Terry it his turn it at least became an amusing waste of time, rather than a boring one.

ROB VAN DAM vs. CHRISTIAN YORK- 4/10
In this match Tenay said something that really pissed me off. He said that York had won belts in pretty much every conceivable indy. While he has won a lot of random indy belts, I think it is utterly ridiculous to say that a man who has never won a belt in ROH, CHIKARA, DGUSA, CZW, PWG, or IWA-MS has won belts in every conceivable indy.

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- Devon lays out this plan, which is that they are going to use some skanks to seduce a mystery-person into joining Aces & Eights.

JOSEPH PARK AT OVE VIDEO PACKAGE- GREAT!

KAZ & DANIELS BACKSTAGE- okay. Throwing the AJ shirts out was good stuff.

You’ve got to love how they play this clip of Hulk saying that TNA has grown since he got there… completely ignoring that fact that the ratings were higher BEFORE he got there than they have been during the Hogan-Bischoff era.

BOBBY ROODE PROMO- okay

DANIELS & KAZ SEGMENT- good, until Chavo & Hernandez came out and Chavo cut a horrifically promo.

CHAVO GUERRERO JR. & HERNANDEZ vs. BAD INFLUENCE (or, as Todd Keneley said, Bad Intentions… although Kaz & Daniels are MUCH smaller than Bad Intentions)- 6/10

JEFF HARDY PROMO- Jeff Hardy says that Roode and Aries’ “arrogance” “doesn’t work for me.” This coming from the guy who carries around his own custom title belt based off of his own artwork.

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE… WITH MR. ANDERSON- if keeping their identities secret is so important, why would they let the camera in here while they were talking to Anderson?

GAIL KIM vs. BROOKE TESSMACHER- 4.5/10

BOBBY ROODE vs. AUSTIN ARIES- 6.75/10
Good heel vs. heel stuff with both guys cheating, but I didn't like the finish. This is the ideal place to go to a draw. Having Jeff take them both out here accomplished nothing. Having them go to a draw allows both of them to look stronger (because they weren't taken out by Jeff Hardy) and lets you have a clean finish as opposed to a non-finish like this.

In the middle of this match they cut to a commercial... except rather than immediately going to a commercial, they first did one of those dumb, out of place, Jeff Hardy inner-monologues. This really pissed me off. If you have to go to commercial, that is fine. I get that. But don't waste showtime in the middle of the main event on something else! If this Jeff Hardy thing was so important, you should have done it during Jeff's promo earlier in the show.
This match also marks the only time I have ever seen a ref actually catch someone pulling the tights.

Overall, another bad episode of Impact, but it was the first Open Fight Night on which I didn't actively hate the concept,s o that is a step in the right direction. For some reason they didn't do Gut Check tonight, but I guess I shouldn't complain about that.