BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

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Big Red Machine
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BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » May 18th, '17, 00:34

OPENING SEGMENT- Owens is now doing the Highlight Reel to prove that he’s better than Jericho. He says things in French to get heat because other languages and foreigners are bad. AJ Styles comes and cuts a promo in English. They trade promos. Then Owens’ real guest, Jinder Mahal comes out and cuts a promo on AJ and Randy. Jinder then also spoke a foreign language to try to get heat, but he made the mistake of first telling people that he was quoting Gandhi, which tends to not get you booed. More talking ensued. Throughout all of this the main thought running through my head was best expressed by a sign someone about five rows deep was holding up, which said “shut up and wrestle.”
AJ said that because and Jinder are both out here, they should have their match right now. I assume that Owens will wind up on commentary and will wind up costing AJ the match, which I would have been fine with if Jinder had actually managed to get a clean win since his push began.

AJ STYLES vs. JINDER MAHAL (w/the Singh Brothers)- 6.5/10
Everything I said above would happen in this match did, in fact, happen in this match.

LANA COMMERCIAL- either take a sh*t or get off the pot.

FASHION FILES- bad, although the “you’re Prince Pretty! The… prettiest of all the princes” line made me laugh.

RENEE YOUNG’S VOICE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S BODY INTERVIEWS RANDY ORTON- he says “Jnder’s an ass.”
But seriously, what the hell has been up with Renee’s hair recently?

TYLER BREEZE & FANDANGO vs. THE COLONS- 2.5/10
The Colons are right back to being those guys who lose in n time at all.
I loved Byron trolling JBL by referring to Breeze & Fandango as “a modern-day APA.”

USOS PROMO- A standard “new” Usos promo, which means that they say a million things of which I love half and think half of cringe-worthy.

SIX-WOMAN TAG TEAM MATCH CONTRACT SIGNING- a mixed bag.
Shane comes out and says that he thinks that the SD women’s division is one of the things that helps make SD better than Raw. Really Shane? Because you’re about to give me a six-woman tag on PPV even though you already have a clear #1 contender while Raw has already announced the women’s title match they’re going to give me at their next PPV.
Shane introduced Charlotte as “one of the most decorated Superstars in WWE history.” Please remember that she hasn’t even been on the main roster for two years yet.
The important people got to talk, by which I mean the babyfaces and Nattie. Becky and Charlotte were great. Nattie was meh, and Naomi needs to stop using that “snatch you bald” catchphrase immediately.
Then Ellsworth said some stuff that set up a physical confrontation between Carmella and Naomi which led to Shane booking that match for right now.

NAOMI (w/Becky Lynch & Charlotte Flair) vs. CARMELLA (w/James Ellsworth, Natalya, & Tamina)- 5/10
Naomi is about to punch Carmella… so of course Kevin Dunn decides to cut to Charlotte and Becky standing on the outside.
Also, shouldn’t Carmella have been DQed for Nattia and Tamina not leaving ringside after being ejected? If there are no consequences, what power does that order have?

DOLPH ZIGGLER PROMO & VIDEO PACKAGE- GREAT!

DASHA FUENTES INTERVIEWS SAMI ZAYN- good. So was Corbin’s dastardly attack from behind and short, threatening promo. They’re apparently having a match on Sunday’s PPV.

BARON CORBIN vs. RANDY ORTON- 6/10
Do Randy’s tattoos look darker and shinier tonight to anyone else?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Jinder Mahal comes out and distracts Randy so that the Singh Brothers can sneak up on him. Randy deals with them on his own but this allows Jinder to attack Randy from behind. Randy gets beaten down and then laid out with the Khallas.

No Nakamura again. With no explanation. Again. And what happened to Rusev?
This was a mostly dull place-holder episode of Smackdown. It did hit all of the go-home show notes, but there wasn’t anything close to anything that felt like a real go-home angle aside from maybe the final bit of the show.


Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 18th, '17, 09:23

I've heard Orton gets touch-ups like every six months or something, which is nonsense because mine look brand new still after years.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by cero2k » May 18th, '17, 09:58

KILLdozer wrote:I've heard Orton gets touch-ups like every six months or something, which is nonsense because mine look brand new still after years.

Orton tans constantly, that fucks up your tattoos
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by Serujuunin » May 18th, '17, 18:08

cero2k wrote:
KILLdozer wrote:I've heard Orton gets touch-ups like every six months or something, which is nonsense because mine look brand new still after years.

Orton tans constantly, that fucks up your tattoos

I read in a WWE magazine that he goes once a year. Which, when you have that money and can take time off whenever you want for two weeks to heal them, is fine... Mine are starting to look like they need a bit of touching up too, come to think of it!

I actually really liked almost all of the Usos' promo on Smackdown, except the end. If they cut it short, it would have been excellent.

I see that they're trying to make Jinder and Corbin look like main event superstars, but they're doing a poor job of it. Sure, Jinder beating Styles makes him look better going into the PPV, but Orton should have lost to Corbin, IMO, to make Corbin look better, and also to make it look like Randy can lose to someone not currently seen as a main event superstar. But, watching Corbin wrestle, I don't feel like he's ready for that. It seems to me that he relies too much on the same things (he did that run around the turnbuckle and come in for the clothesline thing three times in that match), and there is very little variety in the things he seems capable of doing.

And he needs to work on his delivery of his lines. When he was beating up on Sami he sounded like he was totally disinterested, but not in the "this guy is beneath me" kind of way, more like "no one taught me how to sound angry" kind of way.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » May 18th, '17, 18:48

Serujuunin wrote:
cero2k wrote:
KILLdozer wrote:I've heard Orton gets touch-ups like every six months or something, which is nonsense because mine look brand new still after years.

Orton tans constantly, that fucks up your tattoos

I read in a WWE magazine that he goes once a year. Which, when you have that money and can take time off whenever you want for two weeks to heal them, is fine... Mine are starting to look like they need a bit of touching up too, come to think of it!

I actually really liked almost all of the Usos' promo on Smackdown, except the end. If they cut it short, it would have been excellent.

I see that they're trying to make Jinder and Corbin look like main event superstars, but they're doing a poor job of it. Sure, Jinder beating Styles makes him look better going into the PPV, but Orton should have lost to Corbin, IMO, to make Corbin look better, and also to make it look like Randy can lose to someone not currently seen as a main event superstar. But, watching Corbin wrestle, I don't feel like he's ready for that. It seems to me that he relies too much on the same things (he did that run around the turnbuckle and come in for the clothesline thing three times in that match), and there is very little variety in the things he seems capable of doing.

And he needs to work on his delivery of his lines. When he was beating up on Sami he sounded like he was totally disinterested, but not in the "this guy is beneath me" kind of way, more like "no one taught me how to sound angry" kind of way.

I agree about Corbin. I think they've positioned him well, but he's not there yet either in the ring or on the mic. He should never have been called up.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 18th, '17, 19:25

...you should have never been called up.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 18th, '17, 19:50

So all you ungiant, unmusucular men, and women around here, I'm headed to St Louis on Greyhound right now. Left Memphis a bit ago.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by XIV » May 20th, '17, 03:05

Big Red Machine wrote:
May 18th, '17, 18:48
Serujuunin wrote:
cero2k wrote: Orton tans constantly, that fucks up your tattoos
I read in a WWE magazine that he goes once a year. Which, when you have that money and can take time off whenever you want for two weeks to heal them, is fine... Mine are starting to look like they need a bit of touching up too, come to think of it!

I actually really liked almost all of the Usos' promo on Smackdown, except the end. If they cut it short, it would have been excellent.

I see that they're trying to make Jinder and Corbin look like main event superstars, but they're doing a poor job of it. Sure, Jinder beating Styles makes him look better going into the PPV, but Orton should have lost to Corbin, IMO, to make Corbin look better, and also to make it look like Randy can lose to someone not currently seen as a main event superstar. But, watching Corbin wrestle, I don't feel like he's ready for that. It seems to me that he relies too much on the same things (he did that run around the turnbuckle and come in for the clothesline thing three times in that match), and there is very little variety in the things he seems capable of doing.

And he needs to work on his delivery of his lines. When he was beating up on Sami he sounded like he was totally disinterested, but not in the "this guy is beneath me" kind of way, more like "no one taught me how to sound angry" kind of way.
I agree about Corbin. I think they've positioned him well, but he's not there yet either in the ring or on the mic. He should never have been called up.

Sadly, Corbin doesn't have the kind of character where you can give him a mouthpiece either because you can't do the whole "Lone wolf" schtick when he's not alone.

I don't mind Baron Corbin, actually I quite like him, but he's probably a year or so behind WWE are trying to position him.
"While you're looking at Bop, I'll hit you with Bang. You day see that coming"

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by Serujuunin » May 21st, '17, 18:10

Im on the phone so it's hard to quote.

I think Corbin has potential. He moves well for a big kid. I just wish that he would grow a little more than that chin strap moustache to make himself have less of a baby face and seem more intimidating.

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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by Big Red Machine » May 21st, '17, 18:52

Serujuunin wrote:
May 21st, '17, 18:10
Im on the phone so it's hard to quote.

I think Corbin has potential. He moves well for a big kid. I just wish that he would grow a little more than that chin strap moustache to make himself have less of a baby face and seem more intimidating.
Yeah, the weak beard and receding hairline do kind of undermine him a bit.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 23rd, '17, 06:57

Big Red Machine wrote:
May 21st, '17, 18:52
Serujuunin wrote:
May 21st, '17, 18:10
Im on the phone so it's hard to quote.

I think Corbin has potential. He moves well for a big kid. I just wish that he would grow a little more than that chin strap moustache to make himself have less of a baby face and seem more intimidating.
Yeah, the weak beard and receding hairline do kind of undermine him a bit.
I said this a long time ago lol. He could also use a lot more weight lifting.
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by cero2k » May 23rd, '17, 09:58

KILLdozer wrote:
May 23rd, '17, 06:57
eak beard and receding hairline do kind of undermine him a bit.
I said this a long time ago lol. He could also use a lot more weight lifting.
[/quote]

he needs that Jinder Mahal diet?
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Re: BRM Reviews the 5/16/2017 Smackdown

Post by KILLdozer » May 23rd, '17, 10:13

cero2k wrote:
May 23rd, '17, 09:58
KILLdozer wrote:
May 23rd, '17, 06:57
eak beard and receding hairline do kind of undermine him a bit.
I said this a long time ago lol. He could also use a lot more weight lifting.
he needs that Jinder Mahal diet?
[/quote]

Protein and Creatine is the whey to go.
When they come, they'll come at what you love.

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