BRM Reviews the 6/28/2016 Impact (wretched)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- good and bad.
Maria says she is in charge tonight because Dixie is taking her leave of absence for having slapped Maria. Shouldn’t Billy Corgan be running the show? Or at least running the men’s side of things? I mean… isn’t that already part of his job?
Bennett cuts a great promo, challenging the heel Lashley while remaining a heel himself. Lashley came out and they had a good exchange. Ethan came out and had words with both of them. It was all good. Ethan says that Bennett was gifted his X-Division Title shot by Corgan.
Corgan was unhappy about having his integrity questioned. Ethan said that the whole X-Division was unhappy, so they should all get title shots tonight. Bennett didn’t like this, but Corgan told him that “the legacy of that title is that it needs to be defended.” No, Billy, that’s not the “legacy” of the X-Division Title. Defending a title isn’t it’s “legacy.” That’s what makes a title worthwhile: defending it against challengers- or rather against WORTHY challengers. This right here is a perfect illustration of why the X-Division Title doesn’t mean a damn thing anymore. Because TNA themselves have forgotten what made it great: fantastic matches and the title chases and rivalries and hungry wrestlers showing us what they could do if given the time. But to TNA right now the belt is just a thing to be defended in random matches that suddenly becomes important when Destination X rolls around because that’s when it turns into #1 contendership to a totally different title belt.
Corgan announces that there will be a battle royale tonight for #1 contendership to the X-Division Title, and the Bennett will defend the title against the winner of that battle royale, also tonight. If Corgan is so worried about being fair then why is he having this dumb battle royale when Eddie Edwards should have an automatic rematch? And if he wants to be fair, why is he giving Bennett an advantage by letting him go into his title defense fresh while the challenger has already had to wrestle once tonight?
(And if he gave such a sh*t about being fair, why hasn’t he corrected any of the other million injustices that we’ve seen. And if he cares about the X-Division Title so much why did he let Trevor Lee get away with not defending it very often?)

Anyway, Bennett is unhappy about this so he attacks Ethan from behind. They brawl, with Ethan getting the best of Bennett until Lashley decides to step in and attack Ethan. Lashley and Bennett beat Ethan down until Drew comes out to make the save. Drew sets up for the Claymore, but first he walks all the way around Lashley just to make it obvious to all of us that Lashley was going to dodge and hit Ethan. Drew is sad for hitting Ethan. Meanwhile, Lashley bails.
This was a good segment aside from the involvement of Billy Corgan, which felt like it existed solely to set up this completely pointless X-Division battle royale and title shot, which diverted the focus of the segment away from the world title, which is where it should have been.

ETHAN & DREW ARGUE IN THE “LOCKER ROOM”- fine.
Wow. This locker room was so clearly a small, crapped room that the wrestlers have to change in because that’s all TNA can afford. They argued and started shouting at each other and guys showed up to separate them. It was fine.

ALLIE (& SIENNA) PROMO- Allie said that Gail should retire. Gail didn’t want to, so Allie said Sienna would send her into a false retirement. Their dynamic was all off, here. Allie was fine, but Sienna should not be smiling or making any facial expressions at all other than scowls or looks of hatred. She should be the cold-blooded monster to contrast with Allie’s over-the-top emoting.

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Sienna(c) (w/Allie) vs. Gail Kim- 0.75/10
Sienna needs to lose that goofy feathered thing immediately. They wrestled for about two minutes. Allie tried to interfere. Then Jade came out to deal with her. Do they have beef? Anyway, she was going to give Allie a package piledriver, but Marti came out and hit Jade in the back with her baton weapon thing. Allie tries to Gail with the title belt. Gail stops it, but this sets her up to eat a terrible-looking POUNCE-type move for the pin.

THE CAMERAMAN INTERVIEWS MATT & REBY- terrible. This gimmick needs to end. Matt is in a wheelchair… or as he called it “this chair with wheels.” His accent this week was some combination of Central African combined with John Cleese in the Hungarian Phrasebook sketch. Matt said this would “never end” and at this point I completely believe that.

DREW & BENNETT BACKSTAGE- Drew was pointlessly confrontational. Bennett said some very cocky things about his ability to beat the X-Division guys. Drew stood up for the X-Division guys. Then they said other things to each other. I guess TNA felt they had to do this because Drew and Bennett didn’t get to interact in the opening segment or something.

FACTS OF LIFE WITH ELI DRAKE- He put over his familial ability to make mashed potatoes. This was horrific until he actually started talking about relevant things. In a completely serious tone, Josh Matthews said that was “a good story- a nice anecdote that we heard from ‘The Namer of Dummies,’ Eli Drake.” And Josh was not being sarcastic or even deadpanning as he just went on in the same tone tell us that James Storm is Eli’s guest tonight and run down the list of Storm’s accolades and accomplishments.
Drake buried the fans. Storm and the fans made fun of Drake. Storm wanted to drink beer. Drake wanted to drink water and talk up his talk-show. He declared himself to be “the greatest talk-show host in the history of television.”
Finally we got around to the real point of this and they cut good promos on each other and it was great.

A CAMERAMAN INTERVIEWS JEFF HARDY- he says he and Matt will meet face-to-face tonight and there will be a “solution.”

RECAP OF BRAM BEING ATTACKED BY DECAY ON X-PLOSION- Oh come on. With all of the padding we see on this show every week are you really trying to tell me that they couldn’t fit this onto the show?

ROSEMARY & BRAM BACKSTAGE- He’s sitting on a chair and she’s on a box next to him and putting her hands all over him. She and her people just beat him up earlier, and yet here they are with her touching him all over and they are having a normal conversation (well… as normal as a conversation with Rosemary can be), with normal tones of voice as if nothing had happened.
He said he didn’t want to join Decay. She said that he would have to be coerced. Yeah. Because that’s not something that a normal person wouldn’t have a visceral, physical reaction to.

HARDYS SEGMENT- HORRIBLE IN EVERY SINGLE WAY IMAGINABLE!
And I do mean every way. Even on axes I hadn’t previously considered. For example, for a large part of their dramatic conversation, a few rows back but right in the middle of the camera shot, there was someone holding up a “Trump for president” t-shirt.
Matt has Reby wheel him around the ring so he can cut his promo talking about “Brother Nero” and his “loyal followers” the “creatures” and how he is “confined to this chair with wheels” and talking about the multiple places in the building he has been “broken” and the f*cking Beethoven piano music is playing in the background the whole time. This is atrocious. Matt calls out Jeff and we go to commercial with Josh Matthews wondering whether Jeff will come out, because I guess Josh didn’t pay any attention to Jeff’s promo earlier.
So we come back from the commercial and of course Jeff showed up. False drama is being pushed as if it is supposed to be real drama is so infuriating. Matt calls Jeff “a very resilient creature,” which prompted Jeff to interrupt him and shout “we’re all very resilient creatures!” as if Matt had just told that the sky was blue and Jeff was responding “DUH!”
Jeff said some stuff about being motivated by the fans, but he said it in a very Jeff Hardy way. You know “feeding off the adrenaline of the creatures of the night” or some such… and in the same sentence he talked in normal person language and called Matt an “ass.” Jeff then asked Matt “what do you need to end this brotherly feud?” Apparently the thing Matt needs to end this feud is to win a match. He demands six weeks to recover and then they’ll have one more match- “a true Armageddon.” Right. Because they it’s not like we’ve seen something billed as “the final match” in this feud TWICE IN THE PAST THREE WEEKS.
Anyway, they’re finally going to have the match where the winner gets to keep the Hardy name. Matt asks Jeff if he agrees to the match… and Jeff Hardy of all people decides that this of all moments is a good time to steal Daniel Bryan’s “YES!” chant. He even raised his arms like Bryan does.
Apparently I was not the only one outraged by this as Reby Sky quickly interrupted Jeff and buried him for being “the worst brother” and “the in-law from hell, with you pandering ass.” Jeff responded by saying that Reby should go away. Actually he told her to “get on your broom and fly away. We’re so close to Harry Potter Land,” which would have been a good line if he hadn’t been so pleased with himself for thinking of it that he started laughing. Then he told Matt and Reby that he would raise their child. Reby was understandably outraged. This drew Jeff’s attention, and Matt got out of the wheelchair and attacked Jeff from behind. He tossed Jeff into the stairs and guardrail, then hit him with a chair and gave him a Twist of Fate with the chair wrapped around Jeff’s neck.
Then Reby handed Matt the mic and the piano music started up again and Matt said “I hope your unconscious carcass can hear this music because it is the last time you will EVER hear it! Our final war- our Armageddon- happens in one week’s time. So Brother Nero, get your affairs in order because this match will not happen here in front of these undeserving creatures. It will not happen in this HELL HOLE known as the Impact Zone. We must go to the sanctuary of our genesis. This final battle will happen at our home. One last dance in Cameron North Carolina. And it will be, Brother Nero, the final deletion. THE FINAL DELETION! THE FINAL DELETION! THE FINAL DELETIIIIOOOOOON!”
So let me get this straight: not only are they doing the “real” blow-off less than a month after asking people to pay $40.00 or whatever the PPV cost to see these two in something else billed a blow-off match, and only two weeks after doing yet another fake blow-off… but they’re not even going to do it in front of any sort of live crowd? They have the blow-off to the biggest feud of the year in the company, and not only aren’t they going to make any money off of it, but they aren’t even going to reward the fans who care enough to show up despite how terrible the promotion is by doing them the courtesy of taping it in front of them live. TNA has got to be the stupidest wrestling company in history… and this is coming from a guy who has watched large amounts of Wrestlicious, WCW and 3PW!

Well… on the bright side, at least we won’t have to endure six weeks of promos to build up to this match.

BATTLE ROYALE FOR AN X-DIVISION TITLE SHOT LATER ON TONIGHT- DUD!
DJZ appears to have stolen War Machine’s shoulder armor gimmick and painted it purple. Also, apparently Braxton Sutter is in the X-Division. Who knew?
Even with the addition of Sutter, there are still only seven guys in this match. For no reason whatsoever, Robbie E., Crazzy Steve, Grado, and Tigre Uno were not in this match, even though they have all been considered as X-Division guys in the past (and most of them within the past year). You’d think they’d want to be in this match, seeing as how Destination X is coming up and winning this match would start them down the path to a shortcut to a world title shot. Hell… if the X-Division “isn’t about weight limits. It’s about no limits,” then why isn’t everyone out here in this match?
Bennett was on commentary. He was horribly annoying. So was Maria, but apparently TNA only had one extra headset because we only heard Maria talking when Bennett wasn’t at the announcer’s table (this was later visually confirmed). Then he got up to interfere in the match, and did RIGHT IN FRONT OF EARL HEBNER. Hebner did nothing. He didn’t even try to stop them. Earl should know better than to be exactly where the interference is going to be (and if nobody told Earl, then it’s the fault of the booker and the guys in the match).
So Sutter gets his big win… except it’s a match that another babyface got screwed in so he really didn’t deserve it. The Helms Dynasty beat Sutter up after the match. The fans cared about Sutter being assaulted so much that they chanted “CM PUNK!”
Bennett then got up and announced that the X-Division Title match would start right now. Brian Hebner told him that he can’t do that, but Bennett said that he could do that because he’s the best X-Division Champion ever, and apparently this argument convinced Brian Hebner to listen to Bennett, and he ordered the bell to be rung without taking either the title belt or the microphone away from Bennett.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Michael Bennett(c) (w/Maria Kanellis Bennett) vs. Braxton Sutter- no rating. Boring segment.
Josh talks about how terrible this is that Sutter is getting screwed like this because “title opportunities don’t just come for anyone at any time.” Really, Josh? Then please explain to me what ANY of the people I just saw in the battle royale have done earn themselves a #1 contendership match? The only one who has a claim is Eddie Edwards, and Eddie should have an automatic title match without having to go through #1 contendership, just like Trevor Lee got two weeks ago.
Or how about Bennet himself getting a title shot last week? Or how about that tag title match on Impact two weeks ago. Or basically anyone in any X-Division #1 contendership multi-man clusterf*ck we’ve seen from TNA for the past few years?
So of course Bennett goes to pick Sutter up but Sutter gets the small package for a false finish before Bennett hits his finisher and gets the win. They piped in some cheers for Sutter’s nearfall because no one cared, as evidenced by the fans all sitting on their hands and making no noise we saw in on the screen. The reason they didn’t care is because TNA wants us to be upset about Sutter getting screwed here… except that Eddie Edwards is the guy who really deserves this match and Eddie had already been screwed by Bennett so Sutter was just some underserving schmoe who got lucky so of course no one is going to care about him getting screwed out of a title shot he didn’t deserve in the first place.
Captain Fairness Billy Corgan did nothing to stop this. After the match, Bennett punched Sutter a few times and taunted him.

MAHABALI SHERA & GRADO BACKSTAGE- Grado is a cheapskate asshole who keeps tricking his “friend” into paying for things and always promises to pay next time but never does. They even reminded us that he won’t even tell Shera that Grado and Odarg are the same person because, as Shera reminds us, Odarg also owes Shera money. Apparently Shera is too stupid to figure it out. These are the men we are supposed to like: an idiot and an obnoxious douchebag.
They have a handicap match against Al Snow & the Tribunal. Yeah. That sounds fair. Good job there, Corgan. They refer to the Hostile Takeover match. Apparently they are paying for a tag team partner. So is it a handicap match or not? Josh seems to think it isn’t but ring announcer Jeremy Borash seems to think it is.

AL SNOW & THE TRIBUNAL vs. MAHABALI SHERA, GRADO & TYRUS- 3/10
In announcing who their partner would be, Grado and Shera both randomly turned their backs on the heels and got beaten down. I have no sympathy for them. Al is blowing his whistle while in the ring and wrestling. Earl Hebner has made no move to take this foreign object away from him.
Babyfaces win clean when Tyrus pins the former Sylvester Lefort. So not only are Grado and Shera incapable of winning their own battles, but we’ve also now beaten the Tribunal because apparently freakin’ TYRUS needed a win so badly.

MIKE BENNETT PROMO- he needs to stop it with this “troll the internet fans” gimmick.

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway- 6.75/10
REALLY good for a match that barely went nine minutes. They did a great job getting their story across (playing on the competitive nature and the relationships of the three men as individuals, and the relationship between Lashley and the Drew/Ethan pairing). This is one of those matches that would have been better if it got ten more minutes, whereas most of those matches needed the ten minutes in the beginning or the middle or the end in one big block, this match would have been better if they had ten more minutes to divide evenly among the various parts of their story.

A utterly wretched show from TNA, but I’d still recommend checking out the main event.

[KILLdozer]

Nobody in TNA really cares what people think... they're just doing what they're doing and enjoying it... specifically that Hardys thing.

[cero2k]

Nobody in TNA really cares what people think... they're just doing what they're doing and enjoying it... specifically that Hardys thing.

yeah, they gave free reign to Matt and he took it, and it's getting them a bunch of talk from wrestling fans, so they may as well do it

[Big Red Machine]

Nobody in TNA really cares what people think... they're just doing what they're doing and enjoying it... specifically that Hardys thing.

yeah, they gave free reign to Matt and he took it, and it's getting them a bunch of talk from wrestling fans, so they may as well do it

1) A substantial portion of the talk is not good talk
2) If that is their attitude then they will never rise above the the pitiful level they have currently sunken to. That's pretty much a defeatist attitude.

[cero2k]

Nobody in TNA really cares what people think... they're just doing what they're doing and enjoying it... specifically that Hardys thing.

yeah, they gave free reign to Matt and he took it, and it's getting them a bunch of talk from wrestling fans, so they may as well do it

1) A substantial portion of the talk is not good talk
2) If that is their attitude then they will never rise above the the pitiful level they have currently sunken to. That's pretty much a defeatist attitude.

it's not good talk because people shit on TNA regardless, but from people who have started to watch TNA again (that i read online), i keep seeing positive feedback that Impact has been entertaining and worth watching, it all depends on whose opinions one pays attention to. This year has been the most interesting Matt Hardy we've seen since Lita cheated on him, and is it wacky and unrealistic, yes 100%, but it is wrestling after all

[Big Red Machine]

yeah, they gave free reign to Matt and he took it, and it's getting them a bunch of talk from wrestling fans, so they may as well do it

1) A substantial portion of the talk is not good talk
2) If that is their attitude then they will never rise above the the pitiful level they have currently sunken to. That's pretty much a defeatist attitude.

it's not good talk because people shit on TNA regardless, but from people who have started to watch TNA again (that i read online), i keep seeing positive feedback that Impact has been entertaining and worth watching, it all depends on whose opinions one pays attention to. This year has been the most interesting Matt Hardy we've seen since Lita cheated on him, and is it wacky and unrealistic, yes 100%, but it is wrestling after all

Wrestling doesn't have to be wacky and unrealistic to be interesting! And it absolutely shouldn't be wacky and unrealistic at the top of the card! Look at the Drew/Ethan/Lashley stuff. THAT is what they should be doing! People wouldn't sh*t on TNA if TNA stopped doing things that deserve to be sh*t on.

[cero2k]

Wrestling doesn't have to be wacky and unrealistic to be interesting! And it absolutely shouldn't be wacky and unrealistic at the top of the card! Look at the Drew/Ethan/Lashley stuff. THAT is what they should be doing! People wouldn't sh*t on TNA if TNA stopped doing things that deserve to be sh*t on.

i completely agree and i wish wrestling was serious in regards of championships, but it's not how it is. Explain The New Day, and World Champ Dean Ambrose's (and i quote) Wacky offense, and No Way Jose, all that weird stuff that gets over in WWE.

the thing here is that it doesn't have to be wacky to be interesting, but wacky CAN be interesting sometimes. I really appreciate that TNA has the lashley/galloway/eciii feud as the main event and they can do broken matt hardy on the side without really hurting the title scene.

[Big Red Machine]

Wrestling doesn't have to be wacky and unrealistic to be interesting! And it absolutely shouldn't be wacky and unrealistic at the top of the card! Look at the Drew/Ethan/Lashley stuff. THAT is what they should be doing! People wouldn't sh*t on TNA if TNA stopped doing things that deserve to be sh*t on.

i completely agree and i wish wrestling was serious in regards of championships, but it's not how it is. Explain The New Day, and World Champ Dean Ambrose's (and i quote) Wacky offense, and No Way Jose, all that weird stuff that gets over in WWE.

1) Because WWE has programmed their audience that funny is good by going out of there way to be funny in just about every single talking segment
2) Neither Ambrose nor New Day got over by being wacky. They were over acts and champions well before they were wacky.
3) I'm not saying wacky is bad. It has it's place. I'm saying your top acts shouldn't be ridiculously wacky. Kevin Owens or Edge or or Cena or Ambrose making clever wisecracks is fine. It's sh*t like Xavier giving his trombone a name and getting incensed when Enzo said he f*cked it or giving it a funeral when it was broken is bad. Matt's funny accents and piano music playing during his promos and talking about "deleting" Brother Nero are bad.

the thing here is that it doesn't have to be wacky to be interesting, but wacky CAN be interesting sometimes. I really appreciate that TNA has the lashley/galloway/eciii feud as the main event and they can do broken matt hardy on the side without really hurting the title scene.

It's not the title scene it's hurting. It's the product as a whole. It's just so over the top ridiculous.

[cero2k]

1) Because WWE has programmed their audience that funny is good by going out of there way to be funny in just about every single talking segment
and WWE is the biggest company in wrestling and is technically who dictates wrestling now a days in the US. Those who watch TNA also follow WWE and would basically be programmed the same way

2) Neither Ambrose nor New Day got over by being wacky. They were over acts and champions well before they were wacky.
Ambrose got over with the Shield, but was built to the world title after doing all his 'wacky' shit and promos. New Day definitely got over for being wacky, because being positive was definitely not working

3) I'm not saying wacky is bad. It has it's place. I'm saying your top acts shouldn't be ridiculously wacky. Kevin Owens or Edge or or Cena or Ambrose making clever wisecracks is fine. It's sh*t like Xavier giving his trombone a name and getting incensed when Enzo said he f*cked it or giving it a funeral when it was broken is bad. Matt's funny accents and piano music playing during his promos and talking about "deleting" Brother Nero are bad.

It's not the title scene it's hurting. It's the product as a whole. It's just so over the top ridiculous.
they're different taste, not everyone likes the ROH seriousness all over their product, not everyone likes the Chikara wackiness. I personally don't mind the Brother Nero storyline, i don't think it hurts the product at all, it's been a story that has been told since last year, with a bunch of turns and twists that doesn't feel like the same old rehashed story everyone does. Is it over theatrical? yes, but then again, so it's LU and that's my favorite show

[Big Red Machine]

1) Because WWE has programmed their audience that funny is good by going out of there way to be funny in just about every single talking segment
and WWE is the biggest company in wrestling and is technically who dictates wrestling now a days in the US. Those who watch TNA also follow WWE and would basically be programmed the same way
And both product's numbers are declining. Meanwhile, NXT and ROH, where such things are usually confined to the undercard, are on the rise. LU is purposely very comedy light and, while I don't know if their numbers are going up or not, I think it's fair to say that they are the promotion with major exposure that has the most positive buzz right now (and have had for a while).

2) Neither Ambrose nor New Day got over by being wacky. They were over acts and champions well before they were wacky.
Ambrose got over with the Shield, but was built to the world title after doing all his 'wacky' shit and promos. New Day definitely got over for being wacky, because being positive was definitely not working

Ambrose's earlier promos were "wacky" in a way, but it was him talking about all of the ways he was going to maim Seth Rollins for stabbing him in the back. Where Ambrose turned the corner into being not good was all of this bullsh*t with the talk show and the plant and his general douchebaggery of "hey. This is my show I'll ask the questions here" and then either just copying the question or asking stupid, annoying questions.
And make no mistake: WWE might have being doing that stuff while they were "building" him for the world title push, but the fans have been ready for him to have it since last spring, so this wackiness hasn't actually contributed anything to his overness.

New Day got over by being hypocritical heels. The "Power of Positivity" was channeled from a failing babyface gimmick into part of that.None of this unicorn bullsh*t was present when got over.
3) I'm not saying wacky is bad. It has it's place. I'm saying your top acts shouldn't be ridiculously wacky. Kevin Owens or Edge or or Cena or Ambrose making clever wisecracks is fine. It's sh*t like Xavier giving his trombone a name and getting incensed when Enzo said he f*cked it or giving it a funeral when it was broken is bad. Matt's funny accents and piano music playing during his promos and talking about "deleting" Brother Nero are bad.

It's not the title scene it's hurting. It's the product as a whole. It's just so over the top ridiculous.
they're different taste, not everyone likes the ROH seriousness all over their product, not everyone likes the Chikara wackiness. I personally don't mind the Brother Nero storyline, i don't think it hurts the product at all, it's been a story that has been told since last year, with a bunch of turns and twists that doesn't feel like the same old rehashed story everyone does. Is it over theatrical? yes, but then again, so it's LU and that's my favorite show
It's not the storyline itself that's bad. Even the "Brother Nero" aspect of it has artistic merit. The problem is the random accents and piano music and the goofy phrases like insisting on saying "chair with wheels" instead of "wheelchair" or the whole "chamber of our genesis" crap or "the final deletion" and the stuff that the storyline could work just as well without, but by their inclusion, turn it into a farce. The idea is supposed to that Matt is obsessed with trying to get rid of Jeff because he feels that Jeff's recklessness endangers that "Hardy brand" that he has spent so much time cultivating. Those things don't show "obsession" to me. They comes across like generic attempts to "crazy," and as a result they pull the focus away from where it should be. Matt isn't generically crazy. He's being driven to madness by one specific thing which he has develop an obsession with.

[KILLdozer]

BRM I believe you're simply the wrong era brotha'.