Cero Reviews WWE Royal Rumble 2016

[cero2k]

WWE Royal Rumble 2016
January 24, 2016
Orlando, FL

WWE Intercontinental Title Last Man Standing Match
Dean Ambrose (C) vs Kevin Owens - 7/10
Good match, but I feel that Ambrose rose up from waay to much stuff while Owens failed to do it at a spot that wasn't even the sickest of the match. Ambrose's selling infuriates me, he just barely won a last man standing and he's selling like it was a nothing squash match.

New Day Promo - Kill me already!

WWE Tag Team Title Match
The New Day (C) w/Xavier Woods vs The Usos - 5/10
One of the Usos is wearing all white leggings and that is the weirdest looking shit I'll see tonight. I feel like I've been watching the same Usos match for the last 3/4 yrs and I just don't care anymore, add to that The New Day that jumped the shark many months ago and now are insufferable.

Wyatt Promo - Are they the new Horsemen? Obviously as in Horsemen of the Apocalypse, but can we still call them Horsemen and can they do the hand gesture? I honestly don't care about Wyatt's promos anymore.

WWE US Title Match
Alberto del Rio (C) vs Kalisto - 7/10
Match was great, don't get me wrong, but I've seen this match 4 times in this month alone, I honestly don't care anymore.

Heyman/Steph Segment - Lesnar being in the Rumble makes him look so less important.

WWE Divas Title Match
Charlotte (C) w/Ric Flair vs Becky Lynch - 6.5/10
Aside from Sexual Harassment, I thought the match was pretty good, no, actually it was great, hell, it was at the level of an NXT women's match, but the build up, the crowd, fucking Cole and fucking JBL and fucking Saxton completely make it seem like crap. It sucks that I can't enjoy some great wrestling because all this shit surrounding it.

Post-Match Stuff - So the #DivasRevolution gauntlet continues now with Sasha. Thank god she still feels like a big deal. It seems hard to believe that they won't include Paige or a Bella for WM, but I would imagine they build up to Becky vs Sasha vs Charlotte with Bayley in the rafters a la 1995 Sting.

The Roman Rumble - 5/10
I honestly think this was the stupidest booked rumble that I've seen in the last 8-10 yrs. It wasn't badly booked like last year, but it was stupid. As we got closer to the ending, the match kept looking dumber and dumber and dumber.

Notes on the Rumble:
Rusev is #2 and is eliminated as a huge geek, he didn't last 90 seconds.
Styles is #3, big pop but for some reason the camera was fixated on Reigns. Styles gets a good introduction, but he already feels like just another dude, you know he's not winning. Cole and JBL talking about Styles burned my ears. I liked that sign that said P1 vs All.
Some irrelevant entries, then we got Jericho, ugh, he says he's here to saves.us and all he's doing is boring.me
Some more irrelevant entries, including R-Truth that thought this was a ladder match, and I had my hopes up he would be eliminated by pushing the Ladder over, but no.
More irrelevant stuff including Kofi pretty much repeating last year's save, including an elimination that we didn't even get to watch.
MEANWHILE, the League and Vince come out, attack Reigns and put him through a table, they're doing a stretcher job. OK, how is a stretcher job not an elimination? I know the rules say it HAS to be over the top rope, but there has to be something there that if a participant can't continue he should be eliminated, I mean, what if Reigns doesn't return after the last one is eliminated, do they wait a bit to see if he can come out? Oh, and if Vince wants him to lose, (1) why not attack him inside the ring and eliminate him? (2) Why do you just leave him outside the ring!? Vince you made the rules of this match years ago, you should know he NEEDS to be thrown over the top rope. Stupid booking.
Some more midcard filler until Strowman eliminates both Kane and Big Show like nothing. It's not that I care about either, but it felt wrong and stupid.
Owens comes out at #18. Big pop, he's selling the last man standing match. He goes immediately for Styles and it was nice, who he eliminates because AJ is now just another guy, at least they were smart to have someone who the fans are already 100% behind eliminate the guy who the fans are 90% behind.
Smart booking would have Sami Zayn now 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...Dean Ambrose. WHY!? fucking stupid to continue this, run the momentum and have Zayn come out!!
Zayn does come out at #20 when the momentum is over and Owens had to repeat the whole 'wait for you in the ring' thing. Stupid Booking.
Rowan comes out and the Wyatts start reigning the ring, you would imagine that they would join all 4, but no. Lesnar comes out at #23 and easily beats them up. Easily beats them up, but Bray has to be next, right? nope. Swagger.....
We then get the longest 5 minutes ever as Brock is beating everyone up, eliminating ALL the Wyatts even before Bray can make it in and have some drama. Nope. They're all gone. Stupid booking.
Eventually Bray does come out and all the Wyatts attack Lesnar. Ok, that kinda makes sense, would have been better for Lesnar to eliminate them then, but whatever. I should also mention that the rest of the guys are just sitting down in corners because they're irrelevant to the story. SOOO, The Wyatt gang eliminate Lesnar and then everyone leaves. Lesnar leaves just like that, and I'm thinking, the eliminated Wyatts can stay in the ring and help Bray with the rest of the geeks, but no, the also left...Stupid Booking.
#29 is Sheamus and at this point a fully recovered Reigns is out. It's kinda unfair that he had chance to rest for half of the match while Jericho is out here getting suplexed left and right. A bunch of bad wrestling happens where no one in the ring really matters aside from Reigns. Also, in hindsight, what was the whole point in the Reigns vs Lesnar teases all month if they never got in the ring at the same time?
Triple H is #30, and more bad wrestling continues. I'm watching this rumble and I'm asking myself why is Ziggler still doing in the match? The only thing relevant was a staredown between Hunter and Bray, and see THAT is a feud I wanna watch. Anyway, everyone is unceremoniously eliminated and we're down to the final 4. Trips (potential winner), Sheamus (No chance in hell he wins), Reigns (potential winner), and Ambrose (No chance in hell he wins).
Sheamus is eliminated and suddenly, color me surprised, Hunter eliminates Reigns, who just leaves. Ambrose feels like a million bucks right now, a whole lot more than Reigns has all year. Hunter eventually eliminates Ambrose.

So, here's some major problems that I have.
1. Hunter deserves to be the champion. He fair and square won that title. He has the same chance as everyone else and he won it. No #31, no cheating, he got his ass kicked and still came back and won the title legit, in the middle of the ring. How the fuck are you gonna sell me that Reigns was cheated and that he deserves a title? he has a rematch clause and that's it, hell, he was almost as fresh as Hunter by the time he came back, and THAT is why you FUCKING SELL INJURIES!! Stupid Booking.

2. Lesnar gets eliminated by a gang, ok...so, now what? Bray is not doing anything tomorrow either. Goldberg vs Lesnar worked because even after Goldberg got screwed, he did something to Lesnar to actually ignite a feud. Lesnar will likely just attack them back and get even, so what's the point? or even worse, Bray is gonna cut 3 weeks worth of promos trying to call him out, so pretty much the same feud as with Taker....and Bray will lose yet again at WM...just like with Taker. Stupid Booking

3. AJ Styles, ok, I may be exaggerating that he is already one of the bunch, but I didn't like his overall booking tonight. He came out and went one on one with Reigns, and there is something there that I don't like, it's like we'll try to sell him as a threat, but we all know he's the first guy that will fail against Reigns. Then you have him eliminated against Owens, who can either stay with Dean or go against Zayn, not to mention it wasn't a fluke elimination, it was a straight up kick from a man that just LOST a last man standing match. So I can totally see Styles tomorrow on RAW, cutting a promo on his long journey in WWE and how nothing he has done before matters because Sucks Vince McMahon's Dick, and then some jobber will come out and lose to him in a 5 minute match. The only thing that I wonder is if WWE would do Nakamura vs Styles at WM, I can totally see them ripping that match off since 'no one saw it because it didn't happen in WWE'. I'm getting way to jaded by this shit.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Good wrestling overall the show, but I find myself not caring about anything. The build up to Reigns and the rumble was all over the place that the rest feels like filler, and then the Rumble just makes me wonder what the fuck am I watching. Approximately one year ago, I watched LU's Aztec Warfare, and without really having a strong roster at that point, they still managed to properly use them in a way that mostly everyone mattered, back then Fenix mattered as much as Muertes or Mundo or Puma; however, not even Ambrose as the final 2 mattered tonight, like at all, even Reigns at that point didn't matter anymore. Money can't buy quality.

[Big Red Machine]

Good points about the Rumble, though I don't totally agree with all of them (will post about that tomorrow). I've been thinking a lot about the "Hunter won it fair and square" thing, though, as the same thought occurred to me, too, and here is my defense of WWE doing it the way they did:
If you are going to Mania with Hunter vs. Roman, then in order for the Hunter as #31 idea to work, Hunter and Roman have to be the last two left. The crowd would sh*t all over that part of the match (and they would already be sh*tting on Roman's "win" until the swerve happens)- or at least there is the chance they would be sh*tting on it, which is what WWE is trying to avoid.
Having Dean be the guy left in there with Hunter negates this problem because the fans love Dean and will be into him possibly winning.
While doing it the way they did does mean that Hunter won fair a square, it doesn't change the fact that Roman's loss was not fair. Not only was he assaulted by guys who weren't even in the match, but the idea of him defending the title in the Royal Rumble was unfair, and therefore we still have a wronged babyface seeking revenge and his title back heading into WrestleMania.

[cero2k]

While doing it the way they did does mean that Hunter won fair a square, it doesn't change the fact that Roman's loss was not fair. Not only was he assaulted by guys who weren't even in the match, but the idea of him defending the title in the Royal Rumble was unfair, and therefore we still have a wronged babyface seeking revenge and his title back heading into WrestleMania.

storyline wise, it's the correct thing, because kayfabewise, the beat up was supposed to be like almost killing him, Reigns entering at 1 and Hunter at 30. But the execution was just lame. Have you heard WOR? They make the perfect argument, if Reigns could walk to the back, why didn't he walk into the ring?

[Big Red Machine]

While doing it the way they did does mean that Hunter won fair a square, it doesn't change the fact that Roman's loss was not fair. Not only was he assaulted by guys who weren't even in the match, but the idea of him defending the title in the Royal Rumble was unfair, and therefore we still have a wronged babyface seeking revenge and his title back heading into WrestleMania.

storyline wise, it's the correct thing, because kayfabewise, the beat up was supposed to be like almost killing him, Reigns entering at 1 and Hunter at 30. But the execution was just lame. Have you heard WOR? They make the perfect argument, if Reigns could walk to the back, why didn't he walk into the ring?

Have not heard it yet.
I think a lot depends on how they frame it tonight on Raw (although I think being more "we're the McMahons, we have all of the power and we hate you, Roman!" in that segment with Vince and Steph on Raw this week would have helped this tremendously.

[Big Red Machine]

Maybe the doctors ordered Roman to the back so they could check on him under threat of being declared medically unfit to return?

[cero2k]

Maybe the doctors ordered Roman to the back so they could check on him under threat of being declared medically unfit to return?

that actually makes some sense, and it would have been awesome for a 30 segment backstage camera cut for a doctor checking him and Reigns saying "I don't care, i need to get out there again"

[Big Red Machine]

Maybe the doctors ordered Roman to the back so they could check on him under threat of being declared medically unfit to return?

that actually makes some sense, and it would have been awesome for a 30 segment backstage camera cut for a doctor checking him and Reigns saying "I don't care, i need to get out there again"

It's one of many little touches they could have done, both in the build-up and int he match itself, that would have made the match a lot better.

[cero2k]

It's one of many little touches they could have done, both in the build-up and int he match itself, that would have made the match a lot better.

yeah, it's like i was saying, in writing, the booking was ok, but the execution was totally lame