BRM Reviews the 8/24/2015 Raw (some good surprises, a good promo, and a WHOLE BUNCH OF BORING SH*T

[Big Red Machine]

Apparently Seth’s statue is already done. Damn, those guys work fast.

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO- F*CKING AWESOME!

BO DALLAS HAS A DEATH WISH- He showed up and told “Mr. Brock” that he could beat the Undertaker if only he would Bo-lieve. Brock laughed. Then Brock murdered Bo dead.

LUCHA DRAGONS vs. THE NEW DAY (w/Xavier Woods)- 4.25/10
New Day vs. Lucha Dragons with PTP on commentary. So even after the PPV match and with new champions, it still feels like nothing has changed. Xavier’s tromboning made it all worth it, though.

THE F*CKING DUDLEYS ARE BACK!
As JBL notes… it’s actually been TEN YEARS since they’ve been in WWE. The place is going totally f*cking nuts for all of their stuff. And there go the New Day! Xaiver through a table.
PTP appear to be unhappy about this since it might somehow affect their rematch with New Day.

HUNTER & STEPH LOOK AT SETH’S STATUE- it’s face looks a lot more like an old Triple H than it does like Seth Rollins. Also, I don’t comment on this sort of thing very often, but GREAT cleavage on Steph tonight.

ROMAN REIGNS & DEAN AMBROSE vs. THE WYATT FAMILY- 5.75/10
So… the same stuff we were getting before Summer Slam.
I see they skipped Roman’s entrance out of fear of him getting booed like he did last night.
We get a DQ when the larger cousin of CHIKARA’s Proletariat Boar of Moldova shows up and attacks Roman. He’s a new Wyatt. He beat up Roman and Dean and choked Roman out with a very lame-looking move. The match wasn’t bad or anything, I’d just prefer that if it was going to end in a DQ, it should have done so quickly to save time for matches that actually would have satisfying finishes.

MIZ TV WITH SPECIAL GUESTS BECKY LYNCH, CHARLOTTE, & PAIGE- sh*t.
They all enter to Paige’s music because that will definitely get the newcomers over.
First we get some heavy-handed Divas Revolution pushing which totally fails. Miz completely outshined all of them on the mic. Paige was the only one who held a candle to him. If they’re going to use Charlotte like this they could save a bunch of time on her promos by just having her get the words “I’m Ric Flair’s daughter” tattooed on her forehead.
Then they decided to make Becky the goofy one, because that has totally been working at getting people over in this company for years, and that’s definitely what got Becky over so strong in NXT, right?
Paige says that “this is the era of the female athlete,” and that well might be… but it will never be the era of the female star in wrestling unless WWE pays some actual attention to each individual woman they want to push and actually puts real creative effort into the division as a whole.
Now Team Bella comes out and tries to be funny and topical by making a Donald Trump joke, which fails on both counts. This was just more overly scripted crap that totally derails this whole division.

GGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Nikki Bella just said the following: “Wins, losses… who cares?”
This is exactly the sort of attitude from creative that has failed to get basically everyone over. I’d say they have no idea what they’re doing except that when you look at the way they book someone like Cena or Roman or Brock (or whoever is about go work with Cena)- you know: someone they want to push- it’s clear that they do, and they’re just either being lazy or self-sabotaging and idiotic when it comes to everyone else.

This segment was so insufferable that when Miz condescendingly told them to shut up, the crowd popped. Miz said that PCB “wrestle like a bunch of girls” so that they could have an excuse to go after him, but Team Bella jumped them from behind. Apparently they have a six woman tag match next because even though we have a segment this week to further the story, no one will understand that this is about the Divas as athletes unless we give them the same f*cking match every week.

TEAM BELLA vs. BECKY LYNCH, PAIGE, & CHARLOTTE- 5.75/10
The crowd doesn’t seem to give a crap about this match. Probably because they all just saw it last night. Pretty bad booking on WWE’s part. We got what I believe were CM Punk chants which were, amazingly enough, timed RIGHT AFTER Michael Cole and JBL specifically avoided saying AJ’s name.
I’m marking out for the Horse Collar (such an underused submission) while the crowd is doing the wave. Now JBL is putting the crowd over for ignoring the match and putting themselves over. The match wasn’t bad, but it did take quite a while to start going. The Bellas get their win back from Summer Slam in order to ensure that nothing ever moves forward. At least Fox’s scissors kick looked awesome.

STARDUST BEATS UP WADE BARRETT- snore.
The crowd is chanting “CODY!” at Stardust but he doesn’t even care anymore.

NEVILLE FIGHTS WITH STARDUST- Neville kicks his butt and sets up for the Red Arrow but Stardust runs away. Again… same sh*t, different day.

THE DUDLEYS WILL BE ON SMACKDOWN- you know what… I think I’m actually going to watch it.

JON STEWART, RIC FLAIR, & JOHN CENA SEGMENT- very bad.
Stewart is being hailed as a conquering hero by the crowd even though he’s supposed to be a heel. I’d bet WWE is loving that.
Well… now they’ve set the “Cena ties Flair” story in motion.
Jon Stewart marking out for Flair was awesome. Then Flair said that he wanted Cena to win and that Stewart has “messed up everything.” Did Flair have some of plan in the works?
Then Cena came out and asks Jon Stewart “do you realize that because of what you did Seth Rollins is now the WWE Champion as well as the United States Champion?” Um… f*cking DUH! That was the whole point, you idiot!
Stewart mocked Cena so Cena told him “this is not a comedy show!” Then, the very next thing Cena said was “you’ve got punchlines? I’ve got punchlines, too! How about I have you stand on a line and I punch you, how about that?
Cena was overdramatic the entire time and it was annoying. He was all whining about how terrible it is that the Authority has control of the US Title because the Authority doesn’t listen to the fans and blah blah blah. He gave Stewart an F-5. I hated this whole thing. Stewart’s tone was way too comedic while Cena was way too heavy-handed.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS JOHN CENA- he teases that he will ruin Seth Rollins’ statue-unveiling.

CESARO, RYBACK, RANDY ORTON, & DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Lana) vs. BIG SHOW, SHEAMUS, KEVIN OWENS, & RUSEV (w/Summer Rae)- 7/10
Not bad, but it felt like more of the same stuff we’ve seen for months. They did set up for Big Show to turn face, but does anyone really want to see that? At least they had Rusev and Owens beat him up. I was afraid that he would beat both of them up.
WHAT THE… now the babyfaces are all beating Big Show up for no reason! What a bunch of assholes! That was just so totally uncalled for, kicking a man when he’s down like that is not cool! Is playing the babyfaces’ music for a second time really worth taking the focus away from the turn?

BRAY WYATT PROMO- The new guy’s name is “Braun Strowman.” He’s strong, so his name is “Braun.” Get it?

CENA & THE AUTHORITY BACKSTAGE- Cena is kicked out of the building. Yeah. Steph and Hunter thing that TWO GUYS are going to be able to stop Cena.

SETH ROLLINS STATUE PRESENTATION-
We first waste time singing Happy Birthday to Vince. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that without paying royalties. Rollins then cut a promo that dragged on forever. I get that the idea was that he was giving a Hall of Fame speech, but I just got SOOOOOO bored during this.
It was made even worse by the fact that we all knew that Cena would be inside the f*cking box and I just wanted them to get on with it alrea-HOLY SH*T IT’S STING!

This Raw had a couple of good things and a whole lot of boring sh*t.

[cero2k]

THE F*CKING DUDLEYS ARE BACK!
As JBL notes… it’s actually been TEN YEARS since they’ve been in WWE. The place is going totally f*cking nuts for all of their stuff. And there go the New Day! Xaiver through a table.
PTP appear to be unhappy about this since it might somehow affect their rematch with New Day.
it makes me sad that WWE wouldn't allow the dudleyz to come back like the traveled legends that they are now, with Liger coming in, they could brag about the dudleyz being champs in Japan, but now, they have the same goofy gimmick, same goofy attire, same goofy (and completely outdated) wassap move

JON STEWART, RIC FLAIR, & JOHN CENA SEGMENT- very bad.
Stewart is being hailed as a conquering hero by the crowd even though he’s supposed to be a heel. I’d bet WWE is loving that.
Well… now they’ve set the “Cena ties Flair” story in motion.
Jon Stewart marking out for Flair was awesome. Then Flair said that he wanted Cena to win and that Stewart has “messed up everything.” Did Flair have some of plan in the works?
Then Cena came out and asks Jon Stewart “do you realize that because of what you did Seth Rollins is now the WWE Champion as well as the United States Champion?” Um… f*cking DUH! That was the whole point, you idiot!
Stewart mocked Cena so Cena told him “this is not a comedy show!” Then, the very next thing Cena said was “you’ve got punchlines? I’ve got punchlines, too! How about I have you stand on a line and I punch you, how about that?
Cena was overdramatic the entire time and it was annoying. He was all whining about how terrible it is that the Authority has control of the US Title because the Authority doesn’t listen to the fans and blah blah blah. He gave Stewart an F-5. I hated this whole thing. Stewart’s tone was way too comedic while Cena was way too heavy-handed.
hated this, quick stupid op-out excuse to explain the finish that is now obvious that it took place just to protect Cena

SETH ROLLINS STATUE PRESENTATION-
We first waste time singing Happy Birthday to Vince. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that without paying royalties. Rollins then cut a promo that dragged on forever. I get that the idea was that he was giving a Hall of Fame speech, but I just got SOOOOOO bored during this.
It was made even worse by the fact that we all knew that Cena would be inside the f*cking box and I just wanted them to get on with it alrea-HOLY SH*T IT’S STING!
i would have rather had Cena in the box

[Big Red Machine]

THE F*CKING DUDLEYS ARE BACK!
As JBL notes… it’s actually been TEN YEARS since they’ve been in WWE. The place is going totally f*cking nuts for all of their stuff. And there go the New Day! Xaiver through a table.
PTP appear to be unhappy about this since it might somehow affect their rematch with New Day.
it makes me sad that WWE wouldn't allow the dudleyz to come back like the traveled legends that they are now, with Liger coming in, they could brag about the dudleyz being champs in Japan, but now, they have the same goofy gimmick, same goofy attire, same goofy (and completely outdated) wassap move
I seem to be decently alone on this, but I've never found the Dudleys in WWE to be particularly goofy. I'm not sure what you wanted but I thought that JBL referring to them as "the most decorated tag team in history" is about as legendary an introduction as you can get.

JON STEWART, RIC FLAIR, & JOHN CENA SEGMENT- very bad.
Stewart is being hailed as a conquering hero by the crowd even though he’s supposed to be a heel. I’d bet WWE is loving that.
Well… now they’ve set the “Cena ties Flair” story in motion.
Jon Stewart marking out for Flair was awesome. Then Flair said that he wanted Cena to win and that Stewart has “messed up everything.” Did Flair have some of plan in the works?
Then Cena came out and asks Jon Stewart “do you realize that because of what you did Seth Rollins is now the WWE Champion as well as the United States Champion?” Um… f*cking DUH! That was the whole point, you idiot!
Stewart mocked Cena so Cena told him “this is not a comedy show!” Then, the very next thing Cena said was “you’ve got punchlines? I’ve got punchlines, too! How about I have you stand on a line and I punch you, how about that?
Cena was overdramatic the entire time and it was annoying. He was all whining about how terrible it is that the Authority has control of the US Title because the Authority doesn’t listen to the fans and blah blah blah. He gave Stewart an F-5. I hated this whole thing. Stewart’s tone was way too comedic while Cena was way too heavy-handed.
hated this, quick stupid op-out excuse to explain the finish that is now obvious that it took place just to protect Cena
Protect Cena? I was certain that the reason for it was to get as much pointless mainstream coverage as possible.

SETH ROLLINS STATUE PRESENTATION-
We first waste time singing Happy Birthday to Vince. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that without paying royalties. Rollins then cut a promo that dragged on forever. I get that the idea was that he was giving a Hall of Fame speech, but I just got SOOOOOO bored during this.
It was made even worse by the fact that we all knew that Cena would be inside the f*cking box and I just wanted them to get on with it alrea-HOLY SH*T IT’S STING!
i would have rather had Cena in the box
Really?
Also, Cena in the box wouldn't have been possible based on when we saw Cena being led away and when we saw the box being brought to the ring.

[cero2k]

THE F*CKING DUDLEYS ARE BACK!
As JBL notes… it’s actually been TEN YEARS since they’ve been in WWE. The place is going totally f*cking nuts for all of their stuff. And there go the New Day! Xaiver through a table.
PTP appear to be unhappy about this since it might somehow affect their rematch with New Day.
it makes me sad that WWE wouldn't allow the dudleyz to come back like the traveled legends that they are now, with Liger coming in, they could brag about the dudleyz being champs in Japan, but now, they have the same goofy gimmick, same goofy attire, same goofy (and completely outdated) wassap move
I seem to be decently alone on this, but I've never found the Dudleys in WWE to be particularly goofy. I'm not sure what you wanted but I thought that JBL referring to them as "the most decorated tag team in history" is about as legendary an introduction as you can get.
Just don't wear a goofy attire from 15 yrs ago, come out with jeans and tshirt or something like that, stpo doing that terrible wassap move

JON STEWART, RIC FLAIR, & JOHN CENA SEGMENT- very bad.
Stewart is being hailed as a conquering hero by the crowd even though he’s supposed to be a heel. I’d bet WWE is loving that.
Well… now they’ve set the “Cena ties Flair” story in motion.
Jon Stewart marking out for Flair was awesome. Then Flair said that he wanted Cena to win and that Stewart has “messed up everything.” Did Flair have some of plan in the works?
Then Cena came out and asks Jon Stewart “do you realize that because of what you did Seth Rollins is now the WWE Champion as well as the United States Champion?” Um… f*cking DUH! That was the whole point, you idiot!
Stewart mocked Cena so Cena told him “this is not a comedy show!” Then, the very next thing Cena said was “you’ve got punchlines? I’ve got punchlines, too! How about I have you stand on a line and I punch you, how about that?
Cena was overdramatic the entire time and it was annoying. He was all whining about how terrible it is that the Authority has control of the US Title because the Authority doesn’t listen to the fans and blah blah blah. He gave Stewart an F-5. I hated this whole thing. Stewart’s tone was way too comedic while Cena was way too heavy-handed.
hated this, quick stupid op-out excuse to explain the finish that is now obvious that it took place just to protect Cena
Protect Cena? I was certain that the reason for it was to get as much pointless mainstream coverage as possible.
two birds, one shot

SETH ROLLINS STATUE PRESENTATION-
We first waste time singing Happy Birthday to Vince. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that without paying royalties. Rollins then cut a promo that dragged on forever. I get that the idea was that he was giving a Hall of Fame speech, but I just got SOOOOOO bored during this.
It was made even worse by the fact that we all knew that Cena would be inside the f*cking box and I just wanted them to get on with it alrea-HOLY SH*T IT’S STING!
i would have rather had Cena in the box
Really?
Also, Cena in the box wouldn't have been possible based on when we saw Cena being led away and when we saw the box being brought to the ring.
i'm just not looking forward to Sting vs Rollins

[Big Red Machine]

THE F*CKING DUDLEYS ARE BACK!
As JBL notes… it’s actually been TEN YEARS since they’ve been in WWE. The place is going totally f*cking nuts for all of their stuff. And there go the New Day! Xaiver through a table.
PTP appear to be unhappy about this since it might somehow affect their rematch with New Day.
it makes me sad that WWE wouldn't allow the dudleyz to come back like the traveled legends that they are now, with Liger coming in, they could brag about the dudleyz being champs in Japan, but now, they have the same goofy gimmick, same goofy attire, same goofy (and completely outdated) wassap move
I seem to be decently alone on this, but I've never found the Dudleys in WWE to be particularly goofy. I'm not sure what you wanted but I thought that JBL referring to them as "the most decorated tag team in history" is about as legendary an introduction as you can get.
Just don't wear a goofy attire from 15 yrs ago, come out with jeans and tshirt or something like that, stpo doing that terrible wassap move
I agree about the whazzup, but I don't see the camo gear as being bad in any way at all.

SETH ROLLINS STATUE PRESENTATION-
We first waste time singing Happy Birthday to Vince. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that without paying royalties. Rollins then cut a promo that dragged on forever. I get that the idea was that he was giving a Hall of Fame speech, but I just got SOOOOOO bored during this.
It was made even worse by the fact that we all knew that Cena would be inside the f*cking box and I just wanted them to get on with it alrea-HOLY SH*T IT’S STING!
i would have rather had Cena in the box
Really?
Also, Cena in the box wouldn't have been possible based on when we saw Cena being led away and when we saw the box being brought to the ring.
i'm just not looking forward to Sting vs Rollins
Have you seen any Rollins matches lately? He'll make it work.

[cero2k]

SETH ROLLINS STATUE PRESENTATION-
We first waste time singing Happy Birthday to Vince. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that without paying royalties. Rollins then cut a promo that dragged on forever. I get that the idea was that he was giving a Hall of Fame speech, but I just got SOOOOOO bored during this.
It was made even worse by the fact that we all knew that Cena would be inside the f*cking box and I just wanted them to get on with it alrea-HOLY SH*T IT’S STING!
i would have rather had Cena in the box
Really?
Also, Cena in the box wouldn't have been possible based on when we saw Cena being led away and when we saw the box being brought to the ring.
i'm just not looking forward to Sting vs Rollins
Have you seen any Rollins matches lately? He'll make it work.
i know he'll make it work, but i just don't feel like watching them feud, I'm tired of chicken shit Rollins

[Big Red Machine]

SETH ROLLINS STATUE PRESENTATION-
We first waste time singing Happy Birthday to Vince. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to do that without paying royalties. Rollins then cut a promo that dragged on forever. I get that the idea was that he was giving a Hall of Fame speech, but I just got SOOOOOO bored during this.
It was made even worse by the fact that we all knew that Cena would be inside the f*cking box and I just wanted them to get on with it alrea-HOLY SH*T IT’S STING!
i would have rather had Cena in the box
Really?
Also, Cena in the box wouldn't have been possible based on when we saw Cena being led away and when we saw the box being brought to the ring.
i'm just not looking forward to Sting vs Rollins
Have you seen any Rollins matches lately? He'll make it work.
i know he'll make it work, but i just don't feel like watching them feud, I'm tired of chicken shit Rollins
But he's SOOOOOO good at it!

[WrestlingJoker]

Is it just me, or did that new Wyatt guy just look like a bigger version of Bray?

[Big Red Machine]

Is it just me, or did that new Wyatt guy just look like a bigger version of Bray?

A little bit. Kind of like a merger of Bray and Harper.

[cero2k]

Is it just me, or did that new Wyatt guy just look like a bigger version of Bray?

A little bit. Kind of like a merger of Bray and Harper.

it's the pokemon evolution of Bray into Strowman

[Big Red Machine]

Is it just me, or did that new Wyatt guy just look like a bigger version of Bray?

A little bit. Kind of like a merger of Bray and Harper.

it's the pokemon evolution of Bray into Strowman

If only Bray could get some character evolution.

[Big Red Machine]

Russo apparently though this show had a lot of "creativity" because he's a f*cking idiot.