BRM Reviews the 7/15/2015 Impact (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT-
We open with Dixie in the ring and all of the talent surrounding it to hear what she has to say. Dixie says that the last time she was in a wrestling ring was last year in NY when she got put through a table. Um… what happened to the end of last week’s show?
She gives the grand apology speech. It was very good. Ethan and Tyrus show up late and demand to know who the new authority figure will be. It’s Bully Ray. Walks around shaking hands with people (Storm snubbed him), which led to one very important question: WHY IS CRAZZY STEVE STILL EMPLOYED?!
Bully then steals a page from Delirious’ lazy playbook by making a big match for a title shot later in the night.
This segment not only set up the new status quo (and tonight’s main event), but also did a fantastic job at rehabilitating Dixie’s character.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP BATTLE ROYALE- 2/10
ALMOST EVERYONE WAS ELIMINATED DURING A COMMERCIAL BREAK… and I’m pretty much fine with that. Aside from Jesse eliminating Robbie, none of them seem to really have any storyline importance… and you know what? Sometimes it just so happens that important stuff happens during the commercial.
That being said… this battle royale just plain wasn’t exciting. The only place they had time to do anything was the final three and they had a bit of a story, but it just wasn’t anything more than basic.

HALL OF FAME VIDEO PACKAGES- they use it to build up the HOF for next week’s announcement of this year’s inductee.

TENAY INTERVIEWS MR. ANDERSON- Ken is contemplating retirement.
They missed an opportunity to use the battle royale to build this up by pointing out that Anderson isn’t out here and explaining why.

SPUD & BULLY BACKSTAGE- good.
Bully gives Spud a pep talk. He also managed to squeeze in a Dreamer is fat joke.

THE CAMERAMAN INTERVIEWS DREW- good.
Eli Drake showed up to congratulate him.
It just now occurs to me that “what’s going through your mind” is just another way of asking WWE’s favorite question: “What are your thoughts.”

THEY’RE PUSHING THAT TIGRE UNO WILL CUT A PROMO ON DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE TRUMP IS AN IDIOT AND A RACIST- well… anything to get attention, right?

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Tigre Uno(c) vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJ Zema Ion vs. Grado- DUD!
Wait… this is a four-way match? I thought Bully was giving Spud a one-on-one title shot! Why the f*ck are these losers getting a title shot, too? How the f*ck were they in line for a title shot before the man who never lost the belt?!
The whole match was stupid comedy with Grado and that’s all Grado has shown us so far so why is he even in the X-Division?

DOLLHOUSE PROMO/GAIL VIDEO- I hated this. I get what they’re going for, but I hated the splice together effects. I did think Taryn’s promo was very good, though.
Also… did Gail hack the feed or did she steal the video Taryn sent in of her promo and splice her video in before giving it to TNA production?

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Taryn Terrell(c) (w/the Dollhouse) vs. Brooke Tessmacher- 3.5/10
The story they keep trying to push is that we should root for Brooke because Taryn challenged Kong to compete in a Bra and Panties Match, and thus was disgracing the Knockouts as female athletes. That’s all fine and good except that the woman standing up for the portrayal of the Knockouts as athletes instead of sex objects should be Gail Kim, the highly-respected wrestler who has been the anchor of this division for most of its existence, not Brooke Tessmacher for the former Hooter’s girl and PROFESSIONAL ASS MODEL
So now to the match itself. They were having an acceptable but uninspired match until the lights so Gail Kim could show up wearing a dumb hood and then take out Marti and Jade. Then the lights went off again and Gail was gone. This also distracted Taryn so Brooke could hit her finisher and win the title in just about the most undeserving way possible. Can someone please explain to me why Gail Kim needed to have magic powers? This is the sort of dumb sh*t that NO ONE should be doing, but which TNA is infamous for.

THE CAMERAMAN INTERVIEWS KURT ANGLE- a tease for the next segment, which was…

KURT ANGLE’S ANNOUNCEMENT- well done.
Wait… was Kurt not in the battle royale earlier? You’d think he should have been based on the finish of their title match on last week’s show.
Kurt says Bully is giving him his rematch back. He also announces his injury.
EY COMES OUT TO BE AN IDIOT- EY has go-away heat with me now. He is annoying and terrible and just not believable. I liked what they were trying to set up here, but I just wish they had done it with ANYBODY else. I just can’t take him seriously as a main event threat because he always comes across like a guy playing dangerous and evil on TV instead of someone who really is dangerous and evil.
EY starts a fight with Kurt. Chris Melendez tries to come out and make the save but he gets his ass kicked like a total chump.

JAMES STORM PROMO- good. His gullible female partner is someone who is close to Mickie. Also, Khoya totally stole KENTA’s haircut and facial hair from a few years ago.

BULLY RAY & EC III BACKSTAGE- Bully tells Ethan to stop whining. This felt entirely unnecessary.

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Ethan Carter III(c) (w/Tyrus) vs. Drew Galloway- 6/10
It’s a world title match in TNA, so of course we had to have a ref bump and a turn.
There was a nice post-match bit where Drake ripped off his Rising shirt, spit on it, and threw it at Drew.

A bad show from TNA. It’s just a bunch of short matches that devalue titles and long matches that have overbooking. And unfortunately, that is what I have come to expect from TNA. I do recommend that you check out the opening segment for Dixie’s promo, though.

[cero2k]

#1 CONTENDERSHIP BATTLE ROYALE- 2/10
ALMOST EVERYONE WAS ELIMINATED DURING A COMMERCIAL BREAK… and I’m pretty much fine with that. Aside from Jesse eliminating Robbie, none of them seem to really have any storyline importance… and you know what? Sometimes it just so happens that important stuff happens during the commercial.
That being said… this battle royale just plain wasn’t exciting. The only place they had time to do anything was the final three and they had a bit of a story, but it just wasn’t anything more than basic.
I usually hate battle royales where everyone starts together, it's always super crowed and the match doesn't matter until the final 4, so i was happy they did most eliminations during commercial, but I wish they had used a bit more time for the final 4.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Tigre Uno(c) vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJ Zema Ion vs. Grado- DUD!
Wait… this is a four-way match? I thought Bully was giving Spud a one-on-one title shot! Why the f*ck are these losers getting a title shot, too? How the f*ck were they in line for a title shot before the man who never lost the belt?!
The whole match was stupid comedy with Grado and that’s all Grado has shown us so far so why is he even in the X-Division?
what's wrong with comedy in an x-division match? also, this was was announced since last week, on tv, they just added Spud last minute.

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Taryn Terrell(c) (w/the Dollhouse) vs. Brooke Tessmacher- 3.5/10
The story they keep trying to push is that we should root for Brooke because Taryn challenged Kong to compete in a Bra and Panties Match, and thus was disgracing the Knockouts as female athletes. That’s all fine and good except that the woman standing up for the portrayal of the Knockouts as athletes instead of sex objects should be Gail Kim, the highly-respected wrestler who has been the anchor of this division for most of its existence, not Brooke Tessmacher for the former Hooter’s girl and PROFESSIONAL ASS MODEL
So now to the match itself. They were having an acceptable but uninspired match until the lights so Gail Kim could show up wearing a dumb hood and then take out Marti and Jade. Then the lights went off again and Gail was gone. This also distracted Taryn so Brooke could hit her finisher and win the title in just about the most undeserving way possible. Can someone please explain to me why Gail Kim needed to have magic powers? This is the sort of dumb sh*t that NO ONE should be doing, but which TNA is infamous for.
you gotta stop thinking that all 'lights out' spots are magic powers, man, I actually thought that whole thing was well executed, except with Brooke winning, it makes no sense to put the title on brooke if the main feud is taryn vs kim, now technically kim should want to get her hands on Brooke too for the title. Same with Kong.

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Ethan Carter III(c) (w/Tyrus) vs. Drew Galloway- 6/10
It’s a world title match in TNA, so of course we had to have a ref bump and a turn.
There was a nice post-match bit where Drake ripped off his Rising shirt, spit on it, and threw it at Drew.
At least it wasn't Kane interfering. I liked this turn, advances several stories and gives me hope that Rising vs DBC is actually over.

A bad show from TNA. It’s just a bunch of short matches that devalue titles and long matches that have overbooking. And unfortunately, that is what I have come to expect from TNA. I do recommend that you check out the opening segment for Dixie’s promo, though.
I thought it was a good show, all the stories advanced, the matches could had been better, but they were not abysmal, at least the main event was a 7 for me.

[Big Red Machine]

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Tigre Uno(c) vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJ Zema Ion vs. Grado- DUD!
Wait… this is a four-way match? I thought Bully was giving Spud a one-on-one title shot! Why the f*ck are these losers getting a title shot, too? How the f*ck were they in line for a title shot before the man who never lost the belt?!
The whole match was stupid comedy with Grado and that’s all Grado has shown us so far so why is he even in the X-Division?
what's wrong with comedy in an x-division match? also, this was was announced since last week, on tv, they just added Spud last minute.
The issue isn't the comedy itself. It's the fact that the whole match felt like it revolved around Grado's stupid comedy instead of wrestling for a title and doing X-Division stuff.. which is also the problem with Grado. He doesn't come across like an X-Division guy at all

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Taryn Terrell(c) (w/the Dollhouse) vs. Brooke Tessmacher- 3.5/10
The story they keep trying to push is that we should root for Brooke because Taryn challenged Kong to compete in a Bra and Panties Match, and thus was disgracing the Knockouts as female athletes. That’s all fine and good except that the woman standing up for the portrayal of the Knockouts as athletes instead of sex objects should be Gail Kim, the highly-respected wrestler who has been the anchor of this division for most of its existence, not Brooke Tessmacher for the former Hooter’s girl and PROFESSIONAL ASS MODEL
So now to the match itself. They were having an acceptable but uninspired match until the lights so Gail Kim could show up wearing a dumb hood and then take out Marti and Jade. Then the lights went off again and Gail was gone. This also distracted Taryn so Brooke could hit her finisher and win the title in just about the most undeserving way possible. Can someone please explain to me why Gail Kim needed to have magic powers? This is the sort of dumb sh*t that NO ONE should be doing, but which TNA is infamous for.
you gotta stop thinking that all 'lights out' spots are magic powers, man, I actually thought that whole thing was well executed, except with Brooke winning, it makes no sense to put the title on brooke if the main feud is taryn vs kim, now technically kim should want to get her hands on Brooke too for the title. Same with Kong.
If they're not magic powers then what is it? An amazing coincidence?
And where did Gail go if she didn't disappear? Under the ring? How does that make any kayfabe sense? (And these same questions all apply to Bray Wyatt, too).
The point is that there was absolutely no reason to do this non-sensical lights going out and teleportation gimmick, but they did it anyway.
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Ethan Carter III(c) (w/Tyrus) vs. Drew Galloway- 6/10
It’s a world title match in TNA, so of course we had to have a ref bump and a turn.
There was a nice post-match bit where Drake ripped off his Rising shirt, spit on it, and threw it at Drew.
At least it wasn't Kane interfering.
I think everyone around the world can agree that things would suddenly get A LOT more interesting if Kane had interfered in this match.
I liked this turn, advances several stories and gives me hope that Rising vs DBC is actually over.
I'm not saying I don't like the turn. I'm just sick of ref bumps and turns and that crap in TNA World Title matches.
As for this advancing stories, I think it only helps one (Drew vs. Drake). Not that that's a bad thing. I just don't see why you're so high on it. It doesn't advance Ethan vs. Bully at all because he once again cheated to retain the title (unless Bully is going to be okay with this). It doesn't help Ethan vs. Kurt. It doesn't do anything for Drew vs. BDC.

A bad show from TNA. It’s just a bunch of short matches that devalue titles and long matches that have overbooking. And unfortunately, that is what I have come to expect from TNA. I do recommend that you check out the opening segment for Dixie’s promo, though.
I thought it was a good show, all the stories advanced, the matches could had been better, but they were not abysmal, at least the main event was a 7 for me.
I felt a lot more that this was a "start new stuff" show than an "advance on-going stuff" show, and most of what they did I didn't like.