BRM Reviews the 6/22/2015 Raw (very bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Brock must publically apologize for that time he want insane and murdered everyone a few months ago. Brock is apparently required to apologize to JBL and Cole. No mention of either Booker T or the cameraman, despite them both being shown in the video package.

Brock Lesnar is the scariest man on earth. Cole will have to come out in new pants after the next commercial break.

DEAN AMBROSE vs. KANE- 5.25/10
They did stuff. Then Rollins showed up to cost Dean the match. My assumption is that Seth is trying to curry favor with Kane to help him against Brock. Cole and JBL seem to agree with me, so I’m probably right.

KANE & ROLLINS BACKSTAGE- Rollins’ plan doesn’t work.

TITUS O’NEIL GETS THE AWARD FOR “CELEBRITY MEGADAD OF THE YEAR”- yes. That’s really what it’s called.

THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS vs. THE ASCENSION- 3/10
Short, but a fun win, if you’re a PTP fan (which I am).
Sheamus is out for his match before PTP have even left the ring. I guess they’re on a tight schedule tonight.

SHEAMUS vs. ROMAN REIGNS- 6/10 (would have been a 7 with a real finish, but I HATED THE FINISH SO MUCH!)
So Sheamus and Roman are having this knock-down drag-out fight for, like, twenty-minutes… then Bray shows up on the TItanTron having a tea-party and I guess Roman just assumed that Bray had kidnapped his daughter, so he ran off and got himself counted out. What a f*cking moron. At least wait for him to show that he has the kid hostage.
THIS WAS SOOOO F*CKING STUPID! These morons have NO IDEA how to do anything right with Bray Wyatt or with Roman Reigns.

AND IT GETS WORSE!
Apparently Bray’s secret layer is just a room backstage which he has set up with creepy pictures (of Roman without his face) with some creepy writing on the wall. Roman knows exactly where this room is and goes to it and finds the creepy set-up as well as Bray’s voice singing. SO F*CKING DUMB!
I can’t help but fear that this the fate that awaits Kevin Owens and Alexander Rusev and Dean Ambrose.

ROLLINS & THE STOOGERWEIGHTS BACKSTAGE- same as the Kane segment

NEVILLE vs. KOFI KINGSTON (w/the New Day)- 3.5/10
Too short. New Day were entertaining, though.

R-TRUTH PROMO- make it stop.

WADE BARRETT vs. ZACK RYDER- 4/10
The depths that the leader of the Nexus has fallen to literally make me want to weep. HOW THE F*CK DID THEY SCREW THIS GUY UP?!

JOHN CENA & KEVIN OWENS SEGMENT- GREAT!

ROLLINS, HUNTER, & STEPH BACKSTAGE- they tell him he as to apologize. If this was a company like ROH or Evolve or CHIKARA or even TNA I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and they that they were trying to do some artistic thing with having two apologies on the show to show something different with the two stars, but with WWE I honestly don’t think it has even occurred to them.

NAOMI & TAMINA vs. THE BELLA TWINS (w/Alicia Fox)- 2.75/10
Fox is dressed like a Bella.
Wow. A heel vs. heel match featuring the two top heel units in the division. I didn’t think I’d ever see this in the WWE. Bellas wins after Tamina and Naomi screw up a double-team move, resulting in Tamina eating a Rear View.

MARK HENRY vs. RYBACK- 2/10.
The match took place almost entirely during a commercial, but holy crap what a surprising finish.
After the match, Big Show was a dick to Mark Henry. This triple threat match would be so much more appealing if they took out Miz in favor of Mark Henry. THREE-WAY HOSS FIGHT!

JOJO INTERVIEWS RYBACK- good babyface stuff. Then Big Show showed up to be a dick, so Ryback started a fight with him. All good stuff.

ADAM ROSE (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Lana)- 3/10
I don’t know what happened to Adam Rose, but I thoroughly approve. He worth paying attention to for the first time in about ten months.
Sad Rusev sadly watches the match from the backstage area.

POST-MATCH STUFF- this is all just making me feel really sorry for Rusev. I hope he kicks that girlfriend-stealing Dolph Ziggler’s ass!

THE AUTHORITY (MINUS ROLLINS) BACKSTAGE- the screen went green for a few seconds in the middle of this. That made me laugh.

ROLLINS APOLOGIZES- we don’t get an answer from his fellow heels because Brock Lesnar shows up. They tease standing with Seth, but then they abandon him.
SWERVE! They help Seth anyway… but get their asses kicked with haste. So does Seth. Kane saves Seth from an F-5 and CHOKESLAMS LESNAR! BRM GOES WILD! But then Brock fights back and Kane eats what must be the first German Suple he’s taken in quite a while.
Brock gets his hands on Seth again but Kane saves him again. Then Seth saves Kane by going after Brock’s knee and they smash his knee into the ringpost with a chair. Now Mercury is in on the beating. Flying knee to the head by Seth to Lesnar. Another chokeslam by Kane, then a Pedigree from Seth to finish it off.

A very bad show from WWE. It was filled with sort matches and infuriating finishes. Only the Owens vs. Cena stuff was worth watching.

[cero2k]

just finished the WO show of today, Meltzer is saying that this was a Triple H show, Vince wasn't in tonight.

[Big Red Machine]

just finished the WO show of today, Meltzer is saying that this was a Triple H show, Vince wasn't in tonight.

But he also said that Vince and Dunn were still the ones in charge of the creative, so I took that as meaning that Hunter was just the chief supervisor.