BRM Reviews the 4/20/2015 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

That opening recap went entirely too long.

OPENING SEGMENT- great. Especially Orton. I could have done without threatening to RKO everyone last person he sees backstage (can you imagine all of the production people cowering together in a corner?), but it got the point across.

LUKE HARPER vs. DEAN AMBROSE- no rating. Good segment.
Harper got to speak! And he was good! Also, Michael Cole doesn’t know what the word “eccentric” means.
They went to quick double-count out (though the bell never rung, which it should have) and brawled around for a bit. I assume this is to set up a Falls Count Anywhere match at the PPV.

ROLLINS, MERCURY, NOBLE, & PTP, & TRIPLE H BACKSTAGE- okay
Why is Kane allowed to be late to work?
Also, I didn’t like Hunter’s interaction with Seth. Why can’t the heels just get along and have Hunter give Rollins a bunch more security for Randy to plow through and look more badass?

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Lucha Dragons vs. The New Day (w/Xavier Woods)- 6.5/10
The New Day have won one tag match in the past three weeks. How did they get in a #1 contendership match?
Very good match with a great heel finish.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Randy’s RKOing streak begins.

CURTIS AXEL vs. FANDANGO- DUD!
A battle of two men who have been booked so far into oblivion that not even Mother Teresa could possibly have the compassion to give a sh*t about their careers.
The match was short and boring and irrelevant and they didn’t get RKOed at the end! (So the new #1 contenders to the tag titles get RKOed, but the two jobbers don’t? WHAT THE F*CK?!)

I fast forwarded through the Tough Enough announcement, but stopped it in time for the…

TRIPLE H, SETH ROLLINS, & KANE SEGMENT- great stuff from both Kane and Rollins. They managed to make the utterly stupid idea of an outside enforcer in a cage match less stupid. Would I have booked this? Never in a million years. But for the story they want to tell, it makes a lot of sense.

NAOMI INSET PROMO- horribly overscripted.

NAOMI vs. BRIE BELLA (w/Nikki Bella)- 4.75/10
Wow. When was the last time we had a straight heel vs. heel match in WWE?
They tried some new stuff here early on and some of it looked pretty good.

CATERING SEGMENT- Heath ate a SICK RKO, but before that, he talked at Erick Rowan. Because WWE booked has told me that these two are completely unimportant, I didn’t listen to them and instead looked at two women in the inappropriately short black dresses in the background. And speaking of women in dresses in the background… what the f*ck was that woman in the yellow doing? Was that supposed to be fear? Because it seemed more like she was doing a dance.

ROMAN REIGNS vs. BEARD DALLAS- not an actual match, but a great segment… until Roman did a Bo Dallas impression.

SHEAMUS vs. ZACK RYDER- no rating, good segment.
Zack Ryder, Bo Dallas, Heath Slater, Fandango, Curtis Axel… wow. The jobbers are out in force tonight. Major props to Zack for his selling here. Sheamus was great, too.

JOHN CENA PROMO- GREAT!

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: John Cena(c) vs. Kane- 5.75/10
Well… that made Kane look like crap.

TRIPLE H & KANE BACKSTAGE- okay…

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS THE MIZ- Miz was good, so they pointlessly buried by interrupting him for…

BYRON SAXTON INTERVIEWS JOHN CENA- Rusev jumps Cena from behind, then locks in the Accolade while holding a chain across Cena’s face, which looked like it was very un-fun for Cena.

WINNER GETS THE RIGHTS TO THE MIZ BRAND: The Miz vs. Damien Miz-Dow (w/Summer Rae)- 4.5/10
Oh thank G-d they didn’t have Miz lose and thank G-d they’re letting Summer Rae be a heel.

NO! NO! NO! Why would you kill Miz’s heat by letting Orton RKO him?! GRRRR!
Also, this should have been a PPV match.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- would have been good if anyone cared.

RYBACK vs. ADAM ROSE- squash

SOME ROSEBUDS ATTACK RYBACK- he no sells it and hits them both with the Shell Shock at the same time. You see… THIS would have been a great time for Orton to run out and RKO people. In fact, they should have had Orton show up, have the Rosebuds figure out what’s about to happen and try to attack Orton first, and have him just keep popping up and RKOing each of them consecutively.

Also, Rosa came out to check on Adam Rose. Does anyone give a sh*t?

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS KANE, KANE CONFRONTS ROLLINS- good. Even when they’re not on screen, Stooges gonna stooge.


DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. SETH ROLLINS (w/Joey Mercury & Jamie Noble)- 7/10
Rollins wins and Sheamus gets his heat back.

CLOSING SEGMENT- VERY well executed.

A decent show from WWE, but it did a good job of filling out the card for Sunday’s PPV.