BRM Reviews the 2/25/2015 Lucha Underground (great)

[Big Red Machine]

Holy crap is Vampiro hyper.

AEROSTAR vs. DRAGO- 6/10
Flippy and fun. After the match, Cueto comes out and orders a best of three series between these two with the winner getting “one of my famous ‘unique opportunities.”

KING CUERNO IN A RING IN SLOW MOTION- was this really the best they could do to build up this match? What about one of those cool Lucha Underground video packages?

CAGE vs. PRINCE PUMA- 6.25/10
The beginning of Cage’s entrance music now has him shouting “I’M A MACHINE!”
I was quite confused about what this match was. At first Striker said that if Cage won, he would get a title shot, which makes sense, but then later Striker told us that “the title is in jeopardy” which makes it sound like a title match.
Anyway, they did some good stuff, but it was clear that they were holding back for a bigger match. Konnan came out to motivate Prince Puma, and while it helped him get to the ropes once, I don’t think Prince Puma ever got another move in after that. What Konnan did do was throw in the towel, which will probably lead to some friction between them with Prince Puma having wanted to continue the fight, but Konnan and possibly heel mentor telling him he needed to live to fight another day- specifically the day of the title shot that this win should earn Cage.

KONNAN & PUMA BACKSTAGE- ambiguous

CUETO & SEXY STAR IN CUETO’S OFFICE- TERRIBLE!
Sexy Star says she is sick and tired of men saving her in her matches, which is essentially what Big Ryck did last week (although he just caused a distraction that she capitalized on, rather than actually interfering). “Sounds like you have a problem with Big Ryck,” Cueto says. Sexy Star responds “No. Not with Big Ryck. With The Crew.”
WHAT THE F*CK?!
HOW F*CKING DUMB DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!
Sexy Star: I hate burglars.
Cueto: It sounds like you have a problem with the man who broke into your house last night and stole all of your money and valuables.
Sexy Star: No.
THIS WAS SO DUMB!
Anyway, apparently Sexy Star is upset at The Crew for sending her friends Pimpinella Escarlata and Masacarita Sagrada to the hospital. Okay fine. She wants them all three-on-one. I guess that’s okay, except that the whole opening “I don’t need men to save me” bit makes it look like she just plain doesn’t realize that she was getting her ass kicked three-on-one, and that she wouldn’t have had any chance in hell of winning if Ryck hadn’t shown up.
Cueto offers for her to team with Ryck in a handicap match against The Crew, but she turns it down because she doesn’t want a man’s help… which again plays into the above. Instead, Cueto books Sexy Star vs. Big Ryck for next week, with the winner getting The Crew three-on-one, and Cueto promises that no man will come and save her- which means that either a new woman will show up and beat her ass, or that The Crew will attack both of them for the double DQ and there won’t be a winner.
This was another fine example of the whole Sexy Star “tough, independent woman” thing getting in the way and tripping over itself. She doesn’t need men to come and save her because she wants to be treated equally and all that, but then she tells us that her problem is not with the man who saved her, but rather with the three men who were treating her just the way they would treat a male competitor.
I also really dislike putting her together with Pimpinella Escarlata and Mascrita Sagrada. If her whole thing is that she doesn’t need a man to save her because she is breaking the stereotype that women are weak and fragile and in need of protection then this grouping is a detriment to that because what they have done here is placed her in the role of the “man” defending those stereotypically considered to be weak (a homosexual crossdresser and a midget). I understand that this comparison is harsh, but that is like if the great civil rights leaders of the sixties had campaigned not for the abolishment of Jim Crow laws, but rather to just have the word “black” changed to “Hispanic.” She is putting herself in exactly the position of those is fighting against.



PENTAGON JR. vs. VINNY MASSARO- squash
For some reason they had Pentagon Jr., who they are pushing as a martial arts guy, put the guy though a table before breaking his arm with his submission.

JOHNNY MUNDO vs. KING CUERNO- 6.75/10
A great match with a stupid finish. They did a double count-out, except that Cuerno spent the last few numbers of the count RIGHT NEXT TO THE RING, just staring at Johnny rather than getting inside for the win. Then, immediately AFTER the bell rang for the double count-out, they ran at each other and clotheslined each other for a double-down. Why not just do the double-down and THEN have the referee reach ten for the double count-out?

POST-MATCH BRAWL- pretty good. Definitely gave you that sense of things getting “out of control” and I liked that they managed to do it without weapons. The final spot of this was them both taking a bump through a wall of chain-link fence that was protect an enormous stack of cardboard boxes... and I find m self REALLY wanting to know what’s in those boxes. If could just be scenery, but this is Lucha Underground, so it could also be something relevant.

A very good show from Lucha Underground, with all of the matches feeling big (aside from the squash, obviously). The only thing that really disappointed me was the lack of follow-up to Black Lotus finding Matanza in his cell last week. Well... that and the announcing. Striker and Vampiro both NEED to go.



STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Striker lets us know that Aerostar “derives his powers from the celestial bodies” like he’s Superman being powered by the yellow sun. HE’S A F*CKING DUDE IN A F*CKING MASK!

2. Vampiro- “A clothesline, Stan Hansen-style”
So you mean a lariat?

3. Vamprio- “Everyone is waiting for the finish here.”
No sh*t? Really? I thought that they all just really wanted to see the first five minutes and were just all playing 2048 on their phones. Thanks for clarifying that, Vamp.

4. Vampiro- “I don’t think that’s a submission hold if it can bust somebody’s arm.”
This might just be THE SINGLE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD AN ANNOUNCER SAY! And keep in mind that this is coming from a man with over twenty years of pro experience and who we learned just scant seconds later is “involved in martial arts.”

5. Striker- “Regular dive splits the ring like a chess move.”
This one is quite the double-whammy, as there was nothing “regular” about Johnny’s dive (he did Generico’s DDT spot, except with a spear instead of a DDT), and even if there was, this clearly shows us how little Matt Striker knows about chess.

6. Vampiro (After Cuero slammed Johnny’s head into the outside wall of Cueto’s office)- “Dario Cueto, sleeping at his desk, woke up”
Yeah. Let’s tell everyone that the promoter thought that this main event match was so big and exciting that he was taking a nap.

[cero2k]

CAGE vs. PRINCE PUMA- 6.25/10
The beginning of Cage’s entrance music now has him shouting “I’M A MACHINE!”
I was quite confused about what this match was. At first Striker said that if Cage won, he would get a title shot, which makes sense, but then later Striker told us that “the title is in jeopardy” which makes it sound like a title match.
Anyway, they did some good stuff, but it was clear that they were holding back for a bigger match. Konnan came out to motivate Prince Puma, and while it helped him get to the ropes once, I don’t think Prince Puma ever got another move in after that. What Konnan did do was throw in the towel, which will probably lead to some friction between them with Prince Puma having wanted to continue the fight, but Konnan and possibly heel mentor telling him he needed to live to fight another day- specifically the day of the title shot that this win should earn Cage.
I have mixed feelings, on one side i felt that Konnan was legit worried about Puma and smarter than him. On the other side, I can totally see Konnan doing this so Cage gets a match for the title and then betray Puma at that match

PENTAGON JR. vs. VINNY MASSARO- squash
For some reason they had Pentagon Jr., who they are pushing as a martial arts guy, put the guy though a table before breaking his arm with his submission.
he's also about hurting his opponents, so it kinda works.


JOHNNY MUNDO vs. KING CUERNO- 6.75/10
A great match with a stupid finish. They did a double count-out, except that Cuerno spent the last few numbers of the count RIGHT NEXT TO THE RING, just staring at Johnny rather than getting inside for the win. Then, immediately AFTER the bell rang for the double count-out, they ran at each other and clotheslined each other for a double-down. Why not just do the double-down and THEN have the referee reach ten for the double count-out?
that would diminish the hate the guys are showing at each other, this way it showed that the fight was boiling hot and now they just wanted to kick each other's ass. This count out does a far better job to sell the hate than a count out with both guys down.


Well... that and the announcing. Striker and Vampiro both NEED to go.
Weirdly enough, their voice is ow part of the LU feeling and experience to me, their terrible jokes are now all part of an insider joke between all watchers

[Big Red Machine]

JOHNNY MUNDO vs. KING CUERNO- 6.75/10
A great match with a stupid finish. They did a double count-out, except that Cuerno spent the last few numbers of the count RIGHT NEXT TO THE RING, just staring at Johnny rather than getting inside for the win. Then, immediately AFTER the bell rang for the double count-out, they ran at each other and clotheslined each other for a double-down. Why not just do the double-down and THEN have the referee reach ten for the double count-out?
that would diminish the hate the guys are showing at each other, this way it showed that the fight was boiling hot and now they just wanted to kick each other's ass. This count out does a far better job to sell the hate than a count out with both guys down.
I just don't think that this feud is at that level yet. It certainly wasn't before tonight's brawl. Maybe if they were farther away from the ring, it would have worked better.

Well... that and the announcing. Striker and Vampiro both NEED to go.
Weirdly enough, their voice is ow part of the LU feeling and experience to me, their terrible jokes are now all part of an insider joke between all watchers
It's not the jokes. I chuckled when Vampiro brought up Bob Probert and Chris Chelios. It's the way they sell the angles and the stupid sh*t they say, and the way Striker tries to be so insider. That's what I hate.

[/quote]

[Big Red Machine]

According to Meltzer, Black Lotus apparently got kidnapped and thrown in the trunk of a car at the end of the show after the sign-off.

[cero2k]

According to Meltzer, Black Lotus apparently got kidnapped and thrown in the trunk of a car at the end of the show after the sign-off.

i heard people say it's the guy that Puma was talking to the very first show

[Big Red Machine]

According to Meltzer, Black Lotus apparently got kidnapped and thrown in the trunk of a car at the end of the show after the sign-off.

i heard people say it's the guy that Puma was talking to the very first show

Okay... now I'm f*cking INTRIGUED!

[cero2k]

[quote="Big Red Machine"
Okay... now I'm f*cking INTRIGUED![/quote]
this is the best thing about LU, the stories are good, intriguing, and you know they'll eventually go somewhere.