BRM Reviews the 1/29/2015 Smackdown (Best Casket Match Ever)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Hunter starts off joking about how it’s not Monday. He says that WWE wanted to do Raw in Hartford on Monday and they were told they couldn’t... and with the biggest sh*t-eating grin on his face, he said: “And if there’s one thing we don’t like in the WWE, it’s being told what to do.” He plugged the fact that they got one million subscribers and talked up that whole thing.
He says makes testicle jokes about deflated (foot)balls, then plugged that he will confront Sting face to face at Fast Lane. Has there been any word that Sting has kayfabe agreed to this?
He then started to talk about the Rumble. People booed, but then he swerved them and talked up the WWE World Heavyweight Title match instead.
They showed a replay of The Rock’s appearance and the finish of the Rumble, but very heavily edited the crowd. Hunter says that, on Raw, he will end the controversy and make an announcement that will “shake the WWE Universe to its core.” I assume that the controversy in question involves The Rock, because if they wanted to make something out of the crowd reaction, they wouldn’t have edited it out here.
Roman Reigns showed up and was cheered until he started talking, at which point heavy boos started. Hunter booked him against Big Show right now.
ROMAN REIGNS vs. THE BIG SHOW- 4/10
Because we haven’t seen these two face off enough recently. We’ve got dueling chants of “Let’s go Roman!” and “Roman sucks!” with it being about 65/35 in favor of the cheers, but neither were particularly loud. Big Show is getting about a 50/50 response.
The boos seemed to be louder than usual when Reigns was on offense. They got especially loud when he clotheslined Big Show over the top rope. That happened right before the commercial break, and apparently they repeated the same spot during the commercial as well… and they felt a need to show us a replay of this right when we got back from commercial. At this point it really feels like they’re trolling me. OH COME ON! Now Reigns just did a (terrible) headscissors to send Big Show over the top rope. That has got to be trolling.
The way they set it up was actually pretty good, though, and it was nice to see Roman trying new things, both in terms of offensive maneuvers and in terms of telling a different story in his match by having Big Show work over his leg so he could try to sell it. And he sold it really well… for about forty-five seconds, then he was running the ropes likes nothing had happened. That alone should be proof that he’s not ready to be the top guy.
Oh. Wait. Now he’s selling it again. Now he’s running around like he’s fine so he can do a move. Now he’s selling it again. I guess he’s been watching Tomohiro Ishii matches.
Big Show countered the Superman Punch by catching Reigns for a chokeslam. That was an awesome spot. Now he gave Big Show two Superman punches to cut him off when Big Show went to the top rope. It was nice to see Roman trying new things, but he REALLY needs to work on the consistency of his selling. Speaking of which, now he’s selling the leg again.
Jerry Lawler said he thought this match was a “punishment” from Hunter to Reigns for winning the Royal Rumble. Ordering a professional wrestler to wrestle in a professional wrestling match against a man he always beats? Quite the punishment. Maybe it’s a punishment for the fans.

My local NYC market commercial specifically advertised Orton, even though he hasn’t returned on TV yet. They’re also still running those “Thursday” commercials. That’s pretty annoying.

VINCE TELLS US FEBRUARY IS FREE ON THE WWE NETWORK- sure.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER WILL BE INDUCTED INTO THE CELEBRITY WING OF THE WWE HALL OF FAME- I don’t like this at all. He’s only appeared a few times, and most importantly: HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING!
Look at all of the other celebrity inductees: Mr. T, Pete Rose, Mike Tyson, Donald Trump, Refrigerator Perry, Bob Uecker, Drew Carey. I (and I’m sure most fans, too) have vivid memories of seeing each of these people in appearances, and those appearances have become a sort of legend. Did anyone else remember that Arnold was the guest host early last year? How about the fact that he had appeared on an episode of Smackdown during the Attitude Era? I didn’t know until I read it in the observer?
Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m getting upset over someone being undeserving of an induction into the celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame… but COME ON! If we’re going to have this thing, let’s f*cking do it well. Why not Cyndi Lauper? Why not Motorhead for all of their appearances at WrestleMania? Why not Dennis Haskins just for lifetime achievement in being a celebrity WWE fan?

VARIOUS SUPERSTARS DO SCHWARZENEGGER IMPRESSIONS- Paige and Titus both suck horribly at it.

SETH ROLLINS CUTS A PROMO & BEATS UP RYBACK- Erick Rowan makes the save and beats up Mercury and Noble, but he gets taken out by one kick from Rollins. Seth went back to beating up Ryback until Dolph made the save. The babyfaces were going to beat up the Stoogerweights, but Rollins made the save.

KANE PROMO- between his eyes being closed for most of it and his heavy breathing and the way he was rubbing his hands on the casket, it really seemed like Kane was getting sexually aroused by the thought of putting someone in a casket. You may insert your own Katie Vick joke here.

JEY USO (w/Jimmy & Uso & Naomi) vs. TYSON KIDD (w/Natalya & Cesaro)- 1.25/10
The match was extremely short, but they did as well as they could. More importantly, though, OMFG GIVE ME THIS SIX PERSON TAG TEAM MATCH RIGHT NOW!
I’m not if I heard correctly because the idiot said it just as Jey Uso hit the ropes for a dive, but I’m pretty sure I heard someone about Nattie having a child born this year.

RUSEV & LANA PROMO- I’m not sure why, but Rusev seems to be under the impression that he should have won the Royal Rumble. He and Lana are very angry. After the part about the rumble was done, Rusev cut an awesome promo on Cena.
Then Cena came out and talked about how Rusev is undefeated, because apparently losses don’t count unless it is pinfall or submission. What is this, TNA? The “I was holding onto titles before you had pubes and you had boobs” line sounds really good, until you realize that both Lana and Rusev are 29, and Cena won his first title in WWE eleven years ago, so… yeah. That doesn’t work out.
Cena wants to fight and so does Rusev, but Lana tells him not to waste his time on Cena, so he walks away. Cena makes “ho” jokes. He also seems to want the US Title at Fast Lane.

They also announced that Paige will challenge Nikki for the Divas Title on the PPV. What has she done to earn this?

PAIGE & THE BELLAS SEGMENT- The Bellas interrupt Paige’s promo and make fun of her. Paige sarcastically laughs along with their jokes, then gets beaten up in two punches. Remember NXT Paige? Where did she go? I want her back.

ASCENSION IN-SET PROMO- you know what? I actually liked their promo tonight.

GOLDUST & STARDUST vs. THE ASCENSION- 2.25/10

PLUG FOR SYFY'S WIZARD SHOW- I laughed my ass off, but people who don’t enjoy lame puns should probably just fast forward.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- he said “I fear nothing: living or dead” so I guess this Undertaker match is really happening. That’s… a HUGE disappointment. I don’t care what angle they want to do with Sting and Triple H. There is no excuse for not giving us Taker vs. Sting. Maybe they can do it next year, but with Taker’s health scare last year, I would be wasting any time giving us the dream match.

CASKET MATCH: Kane vs. Daniel Bryan- 8/10
Lawler’s been hyping this match up all night like there is some stip that if you lose, you aren’t let out of the casket for a week.
Big pop for Bryan, as expected.
Did I overrated the match? Probably. These are my two all-time favorite wrestlers. Even more amazingly, though, they actually managed to make casket match exciting! This has got to be, by far, the best casket match of all-time.

[badnewzxl]

I remembered Arnold showing up and punching out HHH (with one of the most obviously worked exchanges ever, lol) one night and drinking beer with Austin (almost as if he were sipping tea with the Queen lol).

Arnold is the biggest action star of all time;of course they'll find an excuse to put him into the celebrity wing

[badnewzxl]

And I think you did overrate the casket match, but factoring in your reasoning, it makes sense. I'd give it a 6.75 but that's mainly bc I don't feel their is any reason for them to continue facing one another week after week so it loses points for redundance with me. If I were as big a Kane fan as you, I'd probably agree fully though.

[cero2k]

They showed a replay of The Rock’s appearance and the finish of the Rumble, but very heavily edited the crowd. Hunter says that, on Raw, he will end the controversy and make an announcement that will “shake the WWE Universe to its core.” I assume that the controversy in question involves The Rock, because if they wanted to make something out of the crowd reaction, they wouldn’t have edited it out here.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER WILL BE INDUCTED INTO THE CELEBRITY WING OF THE WWE HALL OF FAME- I don’t like this at all. He’s only appeared a few times, and most importantly: HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING!
this is more than Drew Carey ever did

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[Big Red Machine]

They showed a replay of The Rock’s appearance and the finish of the Rumble, but very heavily edited the crowd. Hunter says that, on Raw, he will end the controversy and make an announcement that will “shake the WWE Universe to its core.” I assume that the controversy in question involves The Rock, because if they wanted to make something out of the crowd reaction, they wouldn’t have edited it out here.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER WILL BE INDUCTED INTO THE CELEBRITY WING OF THE WWE HALL OF FAME- I don’t like this at all. He’s only appeared a few times, and most importantly: HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING!
this is more than Drew Carey ever did

phpBB [video]

Yes, but Carey's was memorable. It's something people talk about when discussing their favorite Rumble comedy spots or a fun way to use celebrities, and is notable for being one of the few times someone has eliminated himself from the Royal Rumble. I have been a wrestling fan for thirteen years now (not counting a few enjoyable exposures to my friend's wrestling book and action figures in the early 90s), and this was the first I had ever heard of a Arnold's SD appearance. In that time I have seen and heard all of the other celebrity appearances I named discussed and replayed on WWE TV hundreds of times.

[Earth Child]

The “I was holding onto titles before you had pubes and you had boobs” line sounds really good, until you realize that both Lana and Rusev are 29, and Cena won his first title in WWE eleven years ago, so… yeah. That doesn’t work out.

So Cena is admitting he is old and past his prime? One can only hope. :p