The Ongoing CHIKARA Blogs Thread

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Jigsaw:
5/17/2013: I'm about to tell you something that may shock you: did you know that the most decorated star in CHIKARA's history... The man thats done just about all there is to do in this company... the best wrestler in the building... CHIKARA's ace, Jigsaw, has never won the Tag World Grand Prix?!? It's true. Well, not for long. Not after this Saturday in Chicago.

I understand this isn't my first attempt at trying to win the Grand Prix. But this time Is different. This time I have a partner that knows what it takes to win. This time around I have The Shard by my side. That makes all the difference in the world. There isn't a team on this planet that can touch us. If you head down to your local OTB you'll see The Pieces of Hate are the favorites! So if I were you, I'd bet the house on us!

CHIKARMY, I hope you're not sick of The Pieces of Hate just yet. Because this Saturday in Chicago we plan on wrestling A LOT! All the way to the finals. Have your streamers handy for when we are announced the winners of CHIKARA's Tag World Grand Prix 2013!

The list is almost complete now: Young Lions Cup. Cibernetico. King of Trios. Campeonatos de Parejas. The big ones. The coveted ones. The impossible ones. All of it is possible for me. Most can't even dream of making it to something like the Tag World Grand Prix. Where the awesome are separated from the merely great. I do more than just dream. I accomplish. I conquer. I win. Watch it happen.

The Best Wrestler in the Building,
JIG

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Saturyne:

5/20/2013: Greetings, Earthlings!

June the Second is right around the corner. They say everyone deserves a second chance. Well, on June 2nd I get my second chance - a second chance to make history.

I will get my second chance to become the first-ever Young Lioness Cup Champion. There has never been a female champion in the 12 seasons of CHIKARA - the closest was Sara Del Rey, who was the last person standing at the 2011 Torneo Cibernetico. Although I was just a trainee at that time, I knew the significance of that victory. On that night, Sara was not just the "best female wrestler" in the ring. She was simply the best.

Back in February, fresh off an injury-related leave of absence, I was defeated in my quest to capture the Cup. I took more punishment than I thought I could. I was bruised. Beaten and somewhat broken. But one thing Mr. Touchdown did not defeat was my spirit. My will to keep fighting. My will to win.

So on June 2nd in Philadelphia I must fight like I have never fought before. I will not give up. Not even the cheating ways of an overgrown high school jock will be enought to defeat me. The stars have aligned. My second chance is also my chance for redemption. It won't matter that you are bigger, Mark. It won't matter that you are stronger. A worldwide audience will watch you walk into that ring on June 2nd with the Young Lions Cup. And they will watch me walk out with it.


SATURYNE

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Icarus:
5/21/2013: All those years ago, we came up with a name for ourselves. We dubbed ourselves "1 cc." Later we would be rebranded, given a name to isolate us from our peers, embellish our titles, and distinguish us from those who would follow. We are CHIKARA's Gen-1.

I am a CHIKARA Gen-1 original. A moniker I've earned through hard-work, determination, heartache, skill, all with a sprinkle of luck and stubbornness.

There is a definite sense of pride that comes with being one of the originals. Pride that will keep my head high when I walk into the ring to face a fellow Gen-1 original on June 2nd. But there is a title more coveted than being of the first generation of CHIKARA stars. A title more prized than being an original. The title of CHIKARA Grand Champion.

This is without a doubt the most important match of my entire life. Now more than ever, I need someone in my corner. Someone to coach and counsel, someone to help me keep my focus. Who can I count on?

Well, I'll tell you who I can't count on. I can't count on Sugar Dunkerton. Why? Because of you, Wink Vavasseur. Things were finally starting to click. Was it a perfect alliance? No. But I guess we won't ever get to that point now. It's on you, Wink, that I don't have an ally to turn to, I have no one to watch my back now.

Now I stand alone. A man in need of a friend, an idol, a hero. So it is here, through this medium, that I will make my plea. A plea not just for the man in me, but for the boy as well. The boy who suffered from ridicule and rejection in school, and yet was given hope by a hero who would always rise up, again and again, no matter how many times life knocked him down.

Marty Jannetty. It would mean the world to me if you could be there at "Never Compromise." I know things have been rough for you of late. I know the wars you've been through have really taken their toll on your body. The spotlight that should have been yours was passed to less deserving wrestlers and I can't imagine how that might have undermined your self-confidence. But to me, Marty Jannetty, you are the man. No adversity makes you quit. No injury puts you down. No backstage politics or real life crap derails you. Your spirit is indomitable.

On June 2nd, I need a little bit of that on my side. More than ever before in my life, I need that.


ICARUS

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Gavin Loudspeaker:
5/22/2013: When I walked through the doors of The Wrestle Factory, my first thought was: “Wow, I’m here.” This is the apollotheater.org of professional wrestling. Where dreams are born and legends are made. Once upon a time, this is where a nascent Eddie Kingston, Hallowicked and “Sweet n' Sour” Larry Sweeney learned and perfected their craft. All heroes of mine...all Wrestle Factory graduates.

When Worldwide Media Development Corporation bought CHIKARA back on January 3rd, 2011, I thought it was a dumb move on their part to divorce it from the Wrestle Factory. But now I'm glad. I'm glad there is a place to go free of the oversight of certain bureaucrats and their flunkies. And that place creates the most well-rounded and the best-trained professional wrestlers on the planet.

The Factory is a no-nonsense sort of place, nothing fancy, nothing glamorous. Just get in the ring and learn from the best. I was nervous. While my 100% Greek bloodstream keeps me looking and feeling 20 years younger than I actually am, I’m no spring chicken. But in a few short days, I have to get in the ring with an ACTUAL professional wrestler, so I better learn as much as I can. My life depends on it.

It’s been very hard, I’m not going to lie. Getting up and doing cardio, push-ups, squats and crunches, and drinking gross smoothies is not my idea of a morning. (Sleeping is.) Right now I’m in the ring four days a week, and I am learning a ton. But it’s nowhere near enough time. With just 11 days until "Aniversario: Never Compromise," there is still so much left to learn.

Hallowicked has been amazing. I don’t understand a word he says, but he is able to clearly communicate all the major points of the fundamentals. He is a patient and understanding teacher, but he is pushing me hard. Despite my size, I am learning ways I can defend myself.

You spend four days a week in a ring, and your body starts to get used to the pain. You get used to hitting the ropes, you get used to hitting the mat. The physical strain and pain is just part of what is expected. I might feel almost-ready for the physical pain. The worst part about this match though will be the humiliation. But I guess I don’t have a choice, right Wink?

Green Ant has been a huge supporter, teaching me new stuff all the time, texting me strategies, and blasting inspirational music. But I’ll never remember all this stuff, it’s like cramming for an exam. I know what he’s thinking, the more he shows me, the more ammo I’ll have for this war. It’s very noble, and Green Ant is also an amazing teacher. You can tell why he was a prized pupil of The Master of A Thousand Holds.

There was a day when I actually thought about walking out. My skin blue and purple from the ropes, my head dizzy from hitting the mat, my elbows and knees raw from scraping the canvas over and over again. I thought I was done. That’s when Saturyne took me aside. She asked me, if I think this is hard, imagine what she went through, the ONLY girl ever to complete the training regimen. She had to put up with immeasurable roadblocks. I won’t go into details, but it made me realize I was feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't help but feel inspired when the young luchadora showed me some secrets on how she uses her smaller size to her advantage.

Maybe I've lived life irresponsibly. Maybe I have a big mouth. If I’m going to make comments, jokes, snide remarks, quips and zingers I guess I better be ready for the consequences. Is that the lesson you want me to learn, Wink?

For me, I just don't see how things can get any worse. At the end of my match on June 2nd, I will be broken and beaten. It will be humiliating knowing the world is watching as I try to remember what I can from all these training sessions. I can't imagine how it could be more humiliating knowing what is in store for me at The Troc.

If you think about it, though, it is not at all the kind of humiliation that Jakob Hammermeier has endured these last few years at Donst's side. The abuse I am going to take from Tim Donst might last just a few minutes. Long, painful minutes, but that's nothing like what you've endured, Jakob. I know we've never really seen eye-to-eye, Jakob. To say we've had "our differences" would be the understatement of the month. But at the end of the day, you and I are just two dudes that love professional wrestling.

I took my potshots at Tim Donst, and maybe in the eyes of some, I have earned the beating I am going to take next Sunday. But what did you do to deserve the treatment you've gotten from Tim Donst? The verbal abuse. The betrayals. What did you do to deserve having your head shaved bald not once, but twice? Donst took just one of my lovely locks and I can barely express how that felt...so I don't even want to know what was going through your head and heart when this happened:

..and as if that wasn't enough? Then this happened in Georgia:

No matter how many ring hours I put in these next 11 days, I am not going to be anywhere close to ready for a match against Tim Donst. If you don't like the things I say when I've got a microphone and a forum, then you probably believe that I deserve what's coming my way at "Aniversario: Never Compromise." But Jakob, you didn't deserve this. You DON'T deserve this. I've called Tim Donst a lot of names in Season 12, some fair, some not-so-fair. But listen to me, man: Tim Donst is not your friend.


GL

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Marty Jannetty:
5/30/2013: Marty Jannetty, here - rockin' and rollin', struttin' and strollin'!

Man, time has flown since Secaucus, NJ back in April. I was in front of a great crowd of fans from all over the world, teamin' with the Booyakuma boys to take care of business, and we had a good time doing it. Well, most of it was a good time.

Then a guy from Cleveland ended up hittin' me below the belt - I guy I had no beef with. That was no party, believe me. But the last thing I expected was one of his own partners to take issue with it. It wasn't that long ago, the rule breakers were A-OK with breaking the rules whenever it suited 'em.

I read your post, Icarus, and I must admit, I was flattered. It put a smile on my face. Reminded me of the good ol' days and the difference we made in people's lives. Sometimes an inspirational moment lives on in someone's heart and soul long after the world forgets it.

That means something to me. When the younger generation remembers what came before.

Sometimes I'm called "the forgotten Rocker." For a long time, I felt like people just looked right past me. I'd go places and people would show me no respect. Like the things I had done and the matches I had given people didn't matter any more if I wasn't on TV. It's hard to feel all "rock n' roll" when no one respects you. When they treat you like a joke.

But brutha, you respect me. You showed me that respect in Secaucus. You marched right up to shake my hand. Shocked the heck outta me. You stood up to your boy when he went below the belt. Not many guys would do that.

I guess what I'm sayin' is - on June 2nd, save me a seat. At The Troc, I've got your back. Ink and all.


MJ

[cero2k]

Blog: Jakob Hammermeier (10.7.14)

Posted on October 7, 2014 by CHIKARA in Uncategorized
Respekt.

Ever since day one Jakob has made it evident that he has only had one goal: Respekt.

None of you respected Jakob. Not the BDK, not the CHIKARMY, und especially not Gavin Loudspeaker! You all pitied poor ol’ Jakob, didn’t you? I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY! Pity is for the weak und helpless. Save it for each other.

Jakob has been overlooked since the first time he stepped into that CHIKARA ring. A mistake for which many will pay. Ares being the first to pick up the tab. How you disappointed me, Ares.

I waited, and waited, and waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiittttttttted. 475 days Jakob waited. Pinpointing exactly how to move against mein former mentor, the “mastermind” of the BDK, Ares. Did you sense for even a second the plot against you? JAKOB WITH THE EYE OF TYR?!?!?! Hah! Let’s allow this lesson in oversight to be the BDK’s parting gift to you, Herr Ares.

Make no mistake CHIKARA. Jakob, the rightful ruler of Der Bruderschaft Des Kreuzes will once and for all extract his Respekt. I will not beg for it. I will take it.

-JH

[cero2k]

Blog: Worker Ant (10.14.14)

Posted on October 14, 2014 by CHIKARA

I remember that night at the Palmer Center: 5.25.14. We had just beaten the King of Trios medals off of The Colony: Xtreme Force. They never deserved to have them in the first place. Wink just gave it to them because they were his pet project. We were the real deal. The real Colony. And we finally had our medals back.

Except, I didn’t deserve the one I was holding. I didn’t earn it. Soldier Ant did. Just like I was now filling the legacy of Worker Ant, I was here representing The Colony. But I never put that medal around my neck. Matter of fact, my first thought was about how I was going to get it back to the man who put in the hard work to win it.

Then came this year’s King of Trios. I’d been pumped to get a chance to get in there with my boys. Earn my own medal. Make The Colony the first two-time winners of this tournament. We even got as far as Night 2 when the supports were bulldozed from under our feet.

I wasn’t completely surprised to see Soldier Ant attacking one of our own. He showed everybody what side he stood on at “You Only Live Twice.” We all go through that moment when we’ve got to make a critical decision at where our loyalties lie. I made mine at National Pro Wrestling Day. Then he made his.

Soldier Ant chose The Flood.

I don’t know what made him turn on his band of brothers, but I’m not one to make excuses for people who’ve decided to become our enemy. Soldier Ant won’t catch us unprepared again. He used to be a leader within The Colony, now he’s nothing but a mindless grunt in an army of human shields protecting their sick bosses. Just another wall to be knocked down.

Soldier Ant, this battle is unfinished Colony business. Time to go to work. You’re dismissed.

-WA

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by Sidney Bakabella

To whom it may concern,

With the King of the Trio weekend in my rearview mirror, I need to focus on the glorious future of my Wrecking Crew. The Devastation Corporation did exactly what I told everyone they would do. They won the King of the Trio Tournament. Max, Blaster, & Flex are the most dominant Trio in any territory. They’ve sold out the Sportatorium more than the Freebirds and the Von Erichs COMBINED!

Switching directions for a bit, I am equally as proud of Jaka & Oleg the Usurper. They defeated 9 other teams in a grueling match all by themselves, and looked handsome doing it! They were exhausted at the end, but thanks to their superior wrestling ability, they outlasted Ice Cream cones, real British guys, probably fake British guys, mummies & snakes! The grueling match took its toll on my boys. I had to cancel Oleg’s two week run in Vancouver for Al Tomko. (He doesn’t pay merch royalties, anyway.) Oleg deserved a vacation after that glorious victory and I sent him to Finland to relax. He’ll be back in time for North Carolina & Virginia and better than ever.

Jaka has legal issues when it comes to travel. You see, because of a recent misunderstanding in regards to an attack of Oliver North, he’s currently not “allowed” to leave the state. Well, my lawyer, the great Johnnie Cochran is on the case! While he won’t be free in time for the North Carolina and Virginia territory, I’m hoping to have him sprung in time to go to Fiji to watch him beat up Jimmy Snuka’s father. As far as the CHIKARA promotion goes, I always have a back-up plan! Oleg needs a tag partner, and I have a Corporation full of guys ready to hit the pay window.

See ya round the loop kid,

Sidney Bakabella

sent from my typewriter

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by UltraMantis Black:

DELIRIOUS, you babbling neanderthal!!! How dare you intercede in The Spectral Envoy’s match at King of Trios! Were you not aware of our destiny to repeat our win from the last tournament? Surely we would have advanced to defeat The Devastation Corporation as we have done in the past. Instead, The Spectral Envoy was eliminated on the first night due to your interloping. The first night! That is categorically unacceptable!

Do not think I have forgotten about your pledge to harass me for the last two years, either. As if your unwelcome, unintelligible phone calls in the wee hours of the morning, interrupting my much needed slumber, were not enough to constantly remind me. However, if costing The Spectral Envoy our due at King of Trios is the worst pain you can inflict, your threats have amounted to little more than annoyances.

You “remember everything,” do you? Well then, remember that Hallowicked and Frightmare no longer follow your incoherence. No, they now stand with me as The Spectral Envoy. Remember also that the men you call allies were once your own former enemies. And above all remember this: there is none more dangerous, devious and diabolical than UltraMantis Black!

So try as you may to intimidate me, Delirious, you will only reap the whirlwind. You’re not the first, nor will you be the last. It is your time that is running out. Two months, deluded lunatic. UltraMantis Black vows that The Flood will be no more! CHIKARA will stand triumphant. Run and tell your masters. You and your cohorts will be vanquished to the infernal pits from whence you were spawned.

-UMB

[cero2k]

Blog by UltraMantis Black:

DELIRIOUS, you babbling neanderthal!!! How dare you intercede in The Spectral Envoy’s match at King of Trios! Were you not aware of our destiny to repeat our win from the last tournament? Surely we would have advanced to defeat The Devastation Corporation as we have done in the past. Instead, The Spectral Envoy was eliminated on the first night due to your interloping. The first night! That is categorically unacceptable!

Do not think I have forgotten about your pledge to harass me for the last two years, either. As if your unwelcome, unintelligible phone calls in the wee hours of the morning, interrupting my much needed slumber, were not enough to constantly remind me. However, if costing The Spectral Envoy our due at King of Trios is the worst pain you can inflict, your threats have amounted to little more than annoyances.

You “remember everything,” do you? Well then, remember that Hallowicked and Frightmare no longer follow your incoherence. No, they now stand with me as The Spectral Envoy. Remember also that the men you call allies were once your own former enemies. And above all remember this: there is none more dangerous, devious and diabolical than UltraMantis Black!

So try as you may to intimidate me, Delirious, you will only reap the whirlwind. You’re not the first, nor will you be the last. It is your time that is running out. Two months, deluded lunatic. UltraMantis Black vows that The Flood will be no more! CHIKARA will stand triumphant. Run and tell your masters. You and your cohorts will be vanquished to the infernal pits from whence you were spawned.

-UMB

one of those cases where i wish CHIKARA would tape these promos instead of blogging them. this was pretty awesome

[Big Red Machine]

Blog by UltraMantis Black:

DELIRIOUS, you babbling neanderthal!!! How dare you intercede in The Spectral Envoy’s match at King of Trios! Were you not aware of our destiny to repeat our win from the last tournament? Surely we would have advanced to defeat The Devastation Corporation as we have done in the past. Instead, The Spectral Envoy was eliminated on the first night due to your interloping. The first night! That is categorically unacceptable!

Do not think I have forgotten about your pledge to harass me for the last two years, either. As if your unwelcome, unintelligible phone calls in the wee hours of the morning, interrupting my much needed slumber, were not enough to constantly remind me. However, if costing The Spectral Envoy our due at King of Trios is the worst pain you can inflict, your threats have amounted to little more than annoyances.

You “remember everything,” do you? Well then, remember that Hallowicked and Frightmare no longer follow your incoherence. No, they now stand with me as The Spectral Envoy. Remember also that the men you call allies were once your own former enemies. And above all remember this: there is none more dangerous, devious and diabolical than UltraMantis Black!

So try as you may to intimidate me, Delirious, you will only reap the whirlwind. You’re not the first, nor will you be the last. It is your time that is running out. Two months, deluded lunatic. UltraMantis Black vows that The Flood will be no more! CHIKARA will stand triumphant. Run and tell your masters. You and your cohorts will be vanquished to the infernal pits from whence you were spawned.

-UMB

one of those cases where i wish CHIKARA would tape these promos instead of blogging them. this was pretty awesome

Yeah. Fortunately UMB's voice is so distinctive that I can't help but read the promo in it.