BRM Reviews the 9/1/2014 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Long and scripted, but not bad, per se. It definitely served its purpose.
This was supposed to be “Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel with Special Guest: Randy Orton.” Jericho introduces Orton as “someone who has never worked a day in his life.” I guess the fourteen and a half years he has spent wrestling don’t count.
Instead of Orton coming out, Hunter’s music plays, and Hunter, Orton, Kane, and Rollins all show up in suits, looking like they’re supposed to be the new Evolution or something. Hunter and Jericho banter. The hometown fans chant for Rollins.
Then Hunter randomly starts talking about Cena vs. Lesnar from Summer Slam. He says that after considering the input of last week’s panel, he thinks that a rematch might not be best for business, so he is thinking about naming a new #1 contender. Orton says he that he is the only one who can beat Brock. Then Kane says that he is the only who can beat Brock. Actually, what Kane said, word for word, was:
“Or maybe it should be someone who digs up a certain mask, opens the gates of hell, and unleashes a demon on the Beast Incarnate.”
Kane somehow managed to not only keep a straight face while saying this, but he almost made it sound good. The man is so painfully underrated. Kane’s talent aside, though, I still don’t see how putting on that mask he wore when he broke his orbital bone in 1995 will help Taker beat Brock.
OH!
Kane meant himself! That’s why it is important to specify. It will prevent misunderstandings like this.

Then Rollins says that he should be the one to face Lesnar, citing his destruction of Ambrose as evidence for his ability to beat Brock. Then Jericho started to say that he should be the one to face Brock, but Cena interrupted. He angrily came out to the ring and told Hunter that “just because your best friends Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels don’t think I can beat Brock Lesnar doesn’t mean I can’t and doesn’t mean I won’t.” Cena says that those guys didn’t think he could beat Hunter at Wrestlemania XXII, but he did anyway. The fans booed this. Poor Hunter: Someone brings up a time that he put a young up-and-comer over on the grandest stage of them all… and the fans still boo. There’s just no winning sometimes.
Cena flat out said that he invoked the rematch clause and Hunter already authorized it… so if Hunter doesn’t give it to him, he will sue Hunter blind… and he came off like a total babyface while doing it!
Hunter laughed at this suggestion, and pointed out that this is a business decision, and Cena is too small-minded to understand it. He also accidentally said “WWWE.”
Rollins urges Hunter to let Cena have his rematch so that he can cash-in on the winner. Orton urges Hunter to let Cena have his rematch so that Orton can face the winner in a title match because, as Randy reminded us, he STILL hasn’t gotten a rematch from losing the WWE World Heavyweight Title to Daniel Bryan at Mania.
Jericho also piped up. I had completely forgotten that he was there. Jericho claimed that Orton has had a bunch of title matches since then and never won. In Orton’s defense, none of those were one-on-one matches. Jericho then points out that Orton lost to Roman Reigns. Orton claimed that losing to Reigns doesn’t mean anything, and if Roman Reigns were here right now, Orton would beat him up. Then Roman Reigns showed up (thankfully they let Orton get another sentence or two in before Reigns showed up so it didn’t seem totally scripted… but then again, why was Reigns hanging out in the stands instead of backstage like a normal person.
Reigns acts like a tough guy and puts over his feud with Rollins. He says he wants to be WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
Hunter’s having a bad day. He just referred to Lesnar as “Brock Cena.” He says he will give all of these guys a chance to prove themselves tonight.
*Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge. Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge. Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge. Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge.*

PHEW!
He books a six man tag. The heels leave the ring. Rollins tries to cheap-shot Reigns, but Reigns avoids it and sends him out of the ring.

Cole hypes up another big tag team match for tonight: Mark Henry & Big Show vs. The Wyatt Family. Yes. AGAIN. We’ve seen this match exact match twice, a singles match between Rowan and Big Show, and two six man tags, one in which all three Wyatts faced Show, Henry, and Cena, and one in which all three Wyatts faced Show, Henry, and Reigns. THE BABYFACES HAVE WON CLEAN EVERY SINGLE TIME. Why should I care about this match?
Now, to be fair, they had Cole hype up the amazing total weight of these four guys: over 1,400 lbs. So at least they found something new to hype up, but it still doesn’t change my interest in the outcome of the match.

DOLPH ZIGGLER & SHEAMUS vs. ANTONIO CESARO & THE MIZ (w/Damien Miz-dow & a makeup artist)- 6.25/10
Good stuff. I LOVED the finish. I was screaming for them to try a twin switch the whole time, and they finally did it. The fans were very into “Ziggy.”

They actually showed us clips from last week’s horrid Bella’s segment. If something is that bad, you don’t need to show up. All you need to do is talk about it.

NIKKI BELLA STUFF- AWESOME HEEL STUFF (assuming she is lying, which I have no doubt that she is)- but seriously, if your parents go out and buy you a used car for passing your driver’s test… and the “used” car is still a model from next year… dear G-d I would love to have that kind of money to spend.
While they were hyping one of these up, Lawler indignantly asked “how bitter does she sound?” While I will agree that she does sound very bitter, the things she is telling us are completely legitimate tings to be bitter about! If someone stole my license and totaled my car, and then I got the blame for it, I would be a lot more than bitter.

Well… Total Divas will be back soon, you all know what that means…

SUMMER RAE, LAYLA EL, & NAOMI vs. EVA MARIE, ROSA MENDES, & CAMERON- -4/10!
The person who made the decision to put the three worst workers on the roster all on one team should be publicly flogged. And if you’re going to have those three bad workers all on one team, you need someone who is a great worker on the other team to help them along. Where the hell was Nattie? This is supposed a Total Divas thing, right? So why is Layla here instead of Nattie?
The fans cared so much about Total Divas that they immediately started chanting for Randy Savage. The match went about a minute, with Layla and Rosa being the only two who actually got in the match. The other four decided to randomly run in at one point, the ref didn’t even try to restore order before just calling for the double DQ. Naomi wound up laying someone out with her finisher. No one cared.

LUKE HARPER & ERICK ROWAN vs. MARK HENRY & THE BIG SHOW- 4.75/10
They kept talking up the total weight in the ring, but almost three fifths of that weight is the babyfaces… meaning that the heels are the underdogs (especially when you consider the fact that the babyfaces have won every last one of their previous meetings).
Rusev and Lana came out to ensure that everyone knew that this match would end in a DQ. Then they wrestled for at leave five more minutes before the DQ actually happened. Then they had Big Show punch a chair out of Harper’s hands after the match to make Big Show look better, because knows that protecting the Big Show at the expense of Luke Harper is definitely a good idea for the future.

Some football player will be invited to Raw next week to “tell his side of the story.” About what? Getting cut? Who cares? This is Raw, not SportsCenter.

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO- great.

JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter) vs. MICHAEL MCGILLICUTTY- 2/10
They showed a replay of an angle from Smackdown with Bo ruining Swagger’s submission match against Rusev that seems like it was TOTALLY AWESOME.
I believe today was the day they added a whole bunch of episodes of Nitro to the WWE Network. This led some clever fan to bring (back) the following sign: “I could be at home watching Nitro.”

BO STUFF- he tells us the sad story of some of the fans who Swagger let down by losing to Rusev. This was awesome (though if I was booking I would have done this instead of the match and then had Swagger run out and chase Bo off at the end. It would have saved some time, sold the beating Swagger took on Smackdown more, and also not pointlessly made McGillicutty look like a bitch).

ADAM ROSE vs. TITUS O’NEIL (w/Heath Slater)- DUD!
Slater got beaten up by the bunny, which led to Titus getting rolled up. Just to be mean, Rose and the bunny tossed Slater into the steps after the match.

LANA PROMO- bad. The whole thing seemed to be building up to her calling Labor Day “stupid,” but she instead said that it “sucks.”

RUSEV (w/Lana) vs. ZACK RYDER- DUD!
A pointless squash. If you want Lana to cut her promo, just let her do it backstage. Rusev already did something tonight.
You’ve still got two more Raws until the PPV (plus a bunch of Smackdowns and Main Events and Superstars). If you move to fast, you run the risk of things getting boring and hurting the anticipation of the match. This whole thing with Rusev squashing someone, then Mark Henry sending him running and Henry cutting an awesome promo (well… it as awesome until he mentioned the Hall of Pain) should have been done last week.

THE AUTHORITY BACKSTAGE- pointless waste of time. Just have her go out and make the f*cking announcement.

STEPH & THE BELLAS SEGMENT- Nikki= good. Brie= bad. Paige & AJ=… well… at least it kind of went somewhere.
The fans sh*t all over this right away. I actually thought that Steph was a great heel, but I can also understand their frustration. Steph awards Nikki a Divas Title match, and who should interrupt them to complain about this? Was it Natalya or Eva Marie, who have both had weeks recently where they beat the Divas Champion TWICE IN A ROW in non-title matches?
Of course not! It was Brie Bella. I did like Steph declaring that the Bella’s music is only to be used for Nikki from now on. Just like last week, Nikki was good, but Brie (and her dialogue) were terrible.
Then AJ came out and the people actually cared. AJ said that she hasn’t gotten her return match yet, so she wants a title shot. Steph tried to answer her, but Paige came out. Then we got back to the Bellas stuff, and Nikki jut ripped Brie a new one. Brie was about to do what Nikki wanted and quit, but instead she hit Nikki, and Paige also went down, too. Brie left, and then AJ picked up the title and skipped around like a nutjob until Steph ordered her to give the title back.
Aside from Nikki, this segment stunk, but at least it felt like we are moving forward.

Next week on Raw, it will be Jericho vs. Wyatt in a completely random steel cage match.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- eh

GOLDUST (w/Stardust) vs. JIMMY USO (w/Jey Uso)- 2.5/10
They thought it was necessary to tell us about a riddle that Stardust tweeted. WHY?!
Goldust & Stardust want to apologize, but the Usos jump them. Then they have a short match which Goldust wins clean. Then the Dust Brothers work over Jey’s injured knee, including slamming it on the apron, the hitting it with a chair. A good angle.

HENRY & BIG SHOW BACKSTAGE- good. Now we know why Show won’t be helping Henry out in this feud.

JOHN CENA, CHRIS JERICHO, & ROMAN REIGNS vs. THE AUTHORITY (Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, & Kane)- 7/10
They did a great job of telling their story until the finish. Cena should have gotten the pin instead of tagging in Reigns. The stuff with Cena giving Rollins the AA was also good.

Overall, a very up and down Raw. I’m interested to see what card they wind up with for Night of Champions.

[cero2k]

OPENING SEGMENT- Long and scripted, but not bad, per se. It definitely served its purpose.

Welcome to RAW...IS....TALK!!

Cena flat out said that he invoked the rematch clause and Hunter already authorized it… so if Hunter doesn’t give it to him, he will sue Hunter blind… and he came off like a total babyface while doing it!

a whiny babyface

Hunter laughed at this suggestion, and pointed out that this is a business decision, and Cena is too small-minded to understand it. He also accidentally said “WWWE.”

Vince McMahon Sr Return Imminent

*Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge. Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge. Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge. Please don’t do a Beat The Clock Challenge.*

PHEW!

that would have made more sense, or a little tournament, or a 6way, but how does a 3 on 3 gonna help figure out who should get a title shot? that's just some lazy booking right there to send the kids happy.

Some football player will be invited to Raw next week to “tell his side of the story.” About what? Getting cut? Who cares? This is Raw, not SportsCenter.

i love how it's 'invited' as in we haven't really booked him, we're hoping he will. Plus even after googling his name, i have no idea who he is

I believe today was the day they added a whole bunch of episodes of Nitro to the WWE Network. This led some clever fan to bring (back) the following sign: “I could be at home watching Nitro.”

there's a report somewhere that this fan got kicked out and almost arrested for this sign.

STEPH & THE BELLAS SEGMENT- Nikki= good. Brie= bad. Paige & AJ=… well… at least it kind of went somewhere.

i liked that AJ got in Steph's face. the whole Bella thing has been dreadful since day 1, and it now sucks that the 'good' diva feud needs to be added to the shit storm.

Overall, a very up and down Raw. I’m interested to see what card they wind up with for Night of Champions.

hmm, i think i missed the 'up' part

[WrestlingJoker]

Some football player will be invited to Raw next week to “tell his side of the story.” About what? Getting cut? Who cares? This is Raw, not SportsCenter.

i love how it's 'invited' as in we haven't really booked him, we're hoping he will. Plus even after googling his name, i have no idea who he is

He's the first openly homosexual NFL draftee. But now, they have apparently removed all references to the invitation.

I BOlieve today was the day they added a whole bunch of episodes of Nitro to the WWE Network. This led some clever fan to bring (back) the following sign: “I could be at home watching Nitro.”

there's a report somewhere that this fan got kicked out and almost arrested for this sign.

It turns out it wasn't because of the sign; it was actually because he was drunk and started shouting a bunch of shit, including something about Chris Benoit.

[cero2k]

Some football player will be invited to Raw next week to “tell his side of the story.” About what? Getting cut? Who cares? This is Raw, not SportsCenter.

i love how it's 'invited' as in we haven't really booked him, we're hoping he will. Plus even after googling his name, i have no idea who he is

He's the first openly homosexual NFL draftee. But now, they have apparently removed all references to the invitation.

I BOlieve today was the day they added a whole bunch of episodes of Nitro to the WWE Network. This led some clever fan to bring (back) the following sign: “I could be at home watching Nitro.”

there's a report somewhere that this fan got kicked out and almost arrested for this sign.

It turns out it wasn't because of the sign; it was actually because he was drunk and started shouting a bunch of shit, including something about Chris Benoit.

oh ok, good to know on both accounts.

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Long and scripted, but not bad, per se. It definitely served its purpose.

Welcome to RAW...IS....TALK!!

Cena flat out said that he invoked the rematch clause and Hunter already authorized it… so if Hunter doesn’t give it to him, he will sue Hunter blind… and he came off like a total babyface while doing it!

a whiny babyface

I didn't think he was whiny at all. He was going to get this title shot. He already had it, and he wasn't going to let Hunter take it away from him. And getting the chance to face Brock again means so much to him that he is even willing to sue WWE.

Overall, a very up and down Raw. I’m interested to see what card they wind up with for Night of Champions.

hmm, i think i missed the 'up' part

I like some of the promos a lot more than most people. While the Divas segment as a whole sucked, I thought Nikki Bella was pretty fantastic. I also liked most of the Nikki videos.

[cero2k]

I didn't think he was whiny at all. He was going to get this title shot. He already had it, and he wasn't going to let Hunter take it away from him. And getting the chance to face Brock again means so much to him that he is even willing to sue WWE.

hmm, i think i missed the 'up' part

I like some of the promos a lot more than most people. While the Divas segment as a whole sucked, I thought Nikki Bella was pretty fantastic. I also liked most of the Nikki videos.

but if he already has his matched, he seemed whiny by threatening to sue, he should have threaten to kick everyone's ass in the ring if he got his title shot taken

i just find the whole bella thing boring and a waste of time, the segments may be done correctly, but i just don't care about any of them. and it really sucks that the 'good' side of the divas was dragged into the bad side.

[Big Red Machine]

I didn't think he was whiny at all. He was going to get this title shot. He already had it, and he wasn't going to let Hunter take it away from him. And getting the chance to face Brock again means so much to him that he is even willing to sue WWE.

I like some of the promos a lot more than most people. While the Divas segment as a whole sucked, I thought Nikki Bella was pretty fantastic. I also liked most of the Nikki videos.

but if he already has his matched, he seemed whiny by threatening to sue, he should have threaten to kick everyone's ass in the ring if he got his title shot taken

i just find the whole bella thing boring and a waste of time, the segments may be done correctly, but i just don't care about any of them. and it really sucks that the 'good' side of the divas was dragged into the bad side.

Threatening to kick everyone's ass wouldn't get Cena his title shot, and would make him look like a jerk for punishing five otherwise "innocent" individuals.
As for the Bella's I was actually hoping that bringing AJ and Paige into things would make it all better.

[cero2k]

Threatening to kick everyone's ass wouldn't get Cena his title shot, and would make him look like a jerk for punishing five otherwise "innocent" individuals.
As for the Bella's I was actually hoping that bringing AJ and Paige into things would make it all better.

he doesn't need to specifically say that, but he can make it obvious that he won't let anyone take his title shot, without having to sue like a heel

the only way it can get better is if AJ feuds with Steph, but i can see we'll get a 4way for NOC which works best for nikki to win and Paige to stay 'strong'

[Big Red Machine]

Threatening to kick everyone's ass wouldn't get Cena his title shot, and would make him look like a jerk for punishing five otherwise "innocent" individuals.
As for the Bella's I was actually hoping that bringing AJ and Paige into things would make it all better.

he doesn't need to specifically say that, but he can make it obvious that he won't let anyone take his title shot, without having to sue like a heel

the only way it can get better is if AJ feuds with Steph, but i can see we'll get a 4way for NOC which works best for nikki to win and Paige to stay 'strong'

I thought that threatening to sue (something a babyface like Cena would never resort to- and for CENA to sue WWE would be unthinkable) really helped to sell his desperation and how much this chance for redemption meant to him.


From what I've heard, WWE only did this angle because the non-WWE producers of Total Divas want to do an angle on that show where the Bellas are angry at each other, so I don't see them putting the title on either Bella. If they were going to put the title on someone to hype Total Divas, they'd have done it last fall.