BRM Reviews the 6/19/2014 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- dumb
MVP says that Board of Directors made him do things the fair way at Slammiversary, but because the Board of Directors isn't here tonight, he is going to do things his way. Is the Board of Directors of TNA Wrestling not watching Impact? And even if they weren't they would easily find out if MVP didn't things unfairly, and would just punish him when they found out, which would probably within a few days at most. So what is MVP so happy about?
MVP calls out EY and claims that EY and Aries colluded. EY comes out, says that the fans run the show, and then cays he is going to come down to the ring and kick MVP's ass right now. So the top babyface just announced his intention to assault a man who is ON CRUTCHES. Then, for what seems like the fifth week in a row. Kenny King grabs the mic from MVP and winds up booking a match (in this case, it was Kenny vs. EY for the world title). The look on MVP's face seems to convey that he does not want this to happen and that he thinks Kenny is an idiot, but for some reason, the Director of Wrestling Operations is powerless to stop a match that was booked by someone with no official booking power whatsoever.

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Eric Young(c) vs. Kenny King (w/Bobby Lashley & MVP)- 4.25/10
MVP and Lashley threatened EY on the outside, so Aries, Joe, and the Wolves came out (Aries and Joe armed with chairs) to prevent them from interfering, and with any other heels who might be lurking around. EY win shortly thereafter by COuntering the Royal Flush into a Small Package.

During the VERY FIRST commercial break, TNA aired a commercial hyping up next week's New York tapings, with the focus on Destination X, Muta, and the Hardy Boyz reunion. Hooray for competent advertising!

MVP SLAPS AROUND THE TIME KEEPER... and just as I was about to complain that no one came out to help this poor man, THE BABYFACES CAME BACK TO HELP HIM. Security broke it up very quickly, which saved us from having five babyfaces beat up three heels, one of whom is on crutches.
Then sh*t went downhill. MVP then booked EY vs, Lashley for the world title later tonight in a match in which the arena would be totally empty except for EY, MVP & Pals and the referee (does that include the fans? Or the cameramen? How about the announcers?), and anyone who tried to interfere would be fired. MVP also booked The Wolves vs. Aries & Joe vs. a mystery team for the tag titles for tonight. He seemed utterly insane and this point, and that might well be the case because, while threatening Earl Hebner, he called the people in the crowd "flat-scans" which is the derogatory term for homo sapiens that Magneto's Acolytes are fond of using.
MVP then fired Earl Hebner. Brian Hebner came out to yell at MVP. MVP threatened to fire Brian, too, if he didn't go to the back. Hebner said that he loves the wrestling business, but people like MVP make him hate it. He also said that he loved the fans.

DIXIE CARTER & EC III SHOW UP- they talk up Ethan's victory at Slammiversary. Dixie says that MVP's antics will only prove to the Board of Directors that she is correct. They also plug the Tommy Dreamer angle with Dixie. Dixie gives EC III the night off.

ERIC YOUNG PROMO- he says he has no problem defending the title again tonight, but firing Earl Hebner was crossing the line, and MVP will pay for it. He then calls Kurt Angle and asks him to come to the arena from the hotel.

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Wolves(c) vs. Austin Aries & Samoa Joe vs. Willow & Abyss- 6.5/10
They did a split-screen during this match just to show us that Tommy Dreamer had showed up (you know, in case you had any doubt that a babyface would not show up to confront Dixie when invited). After the commercial break that this proceeded, Dreamer was not mentioned at all.
The match was very good and got a lot more time than matches on Impact usually get.

MVP & PALS BACKSTAGE- they evilly plan to go after Kurt's injured knee.

TAZ EXPLAINS THE TOMMY DREAMER ANGLE- Once again, HOORAY FOR COMPETENT PROMOTING!

ARIES & JOE ARE ORDERED OUT OF THE BUILDING BY SECURITY- they go.

THE WOLVES & MVP BACKSTAGE- MVP tells the Wolves that they will defend their belts again tonight, this time against Bram and Magnus.
MVP then told the guys from Atlas Security that he wants the Wolves out of the building as soon as their match is over. One of the Atlas Security guys grinned evilly, as if he was part of this grand plan and not just a replaceable cog.

DIXIE CARTER PROMO- GREAT!
She insisted that she will never go through a table, she plugged her angle with MVP, then called out Dreamer. Dixie got a lot of heat. The crowd was also SUPER into Tommy. He came off like a HUGE star. If only one of the TNA guys could come off that way.
Tommy claims that Hardcore Justice was "one hell of a PPV." I guess you could say that if you want to, because it was certainly hell to watch it.
Dreamer lectures Dixie on the responsibilities of being a promoter. He was really cutting one hell of a promo about how great wrestling is and how great the fans are and how great TNA can be... then he totally lost it all by claiming that doctors have told cancer patients that they should watch wrestling because it will help them fight. Yeah...
I know what Tommy was trying to say, but it just didn't work at all.
Tommy then said that he watched Dixie and her family mark out for Kevin Von Erich doing the Claw at Slammiversary. How did Tommy see this? Did he have a secret spy camera? Or did he sneak into the Carters' private box?
Anyway, he said that was a great "wrestling moment" and urged Dixie to do the right thing. Dixie hugged Dreamer, then, in a swerve that everyone saw coming, she kneed him in the balls. Spud and Ethan then beat Dreamer up.
I can't deny that the crowd went nuts for this whole thing, but I have to ask... how does this help TNA? Dreamer got to plug House of Hardcore, but TNA just wasted about fifteen minutes of the 128 that they have on something that will not make them any money at all.

LASHLEY KENNY TALK TO ANGLE- Angle wants to talk to Kurt. When we came back from commercial, MVP showed up and told Kurt to wait. This whole thing was an excuse for Kurt to make dick jokes a King and Lashley.

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Wolves(c) vs. Magnus & Bram- 3/10
Bram and Magnus get DQed on purpose for attacking the Wolves with a chair. They try to Pillmanizer Eddie's neck, but Wilow and Abyss make the save.

MVP TALKS WITH BRIAN HEBNER- GRRRR!
He makes fun of Earl a bit, then makes Brian Hebner the referee. He implies the he will fire Brian Hebner if he doesn't fast-count EY. Why do they insist on making the f*cking referees the centerpieces of the show? They have three referees (well... two now) and they have all been involved in angle for the past two months!

THE CAMERAMAN INTERVIEWS BRAM & MAGNUS-
Magnus explains that they didn't walk away from a fight. What really happened was that they were paid to beat up the Wolves. That was good. Then Willow and Abyss jumped them from behind. That was bad,

KNOCKOUTS SEGMENT- very good.
For some reason Gail Kim was in the ring in a VERY short pink dress, doing ring-announcer duties. She asked us all to "please welcome back Taryn Terrell!" Taryn is also wearing a dress. Is this the post-prom party or something?
Gail says that she didn't like Taryn before but Tarn opened her eyes at Slammiversary and earned her respect, and that is why Gail wanted to be the one to welcome Taryn back. Cool! An answer!
Taryn then explained that she took a year off to have her baby (and I can tell that I've been writing about wrestling too much because I instinctively typed "face" after the word "baby"). Once again, HOORAY FOR GETTING AN EXPLANATION! Now we know WHY this rising star just disappeared for a whole year. Taryn says that she won the Last Woman Standing match and Gail won the ladder match, so they need to have a tiebreaker.
Then the Beautiful People came out and cut a promo on Gail, reminding everyone that Angelina beat her to retain the Knockouts Title at Slammiversary (this year's). Angelia also comments on their dresses, but I beat her to joke by two minutes! Stay away from my comedy material! Do you hear me, woman?! Velvet said that the joke was a "good one" which means Velvet Sky thinks I am funny. That makes me one step closer to sleeping with her than the rest of you people on the internet!
Angelina jumps Taryn, then Gail gotten double-teamed until Taryn got back into it and took out both Beautiful People.

KURT TALKS TO MVP- He lectures MVP about doing things the right way. MVP tells Kurt that he can either join them or get beaten up. Kurt gets in Kenny's face. Kurt knocks Kenny King out with one punch, then asks MVP and Lashley "what are you gonna do, huh?" Taz and Tenay somehow took this to mean that Kurt was leaving.

JB BACKSTAGE-
We see that even the female babyfaces are getting kicked out of the building. JB is the only one who brought up the fact that today is the actual anniversary of TNA's first show. He then told us that EVEN THE PRODUCTION PEOPLE HAVE BEEN KICKED OUT. That's just f*cking stupid. JB is ordered out of the building. Then... well... do you remember before when I asked if the cameraman would be thrown out? Well... at least one of them was.

BUT APPARENTLY CHRISTY HEMME WASN'T!
You'll remember a few weeks ago when MVP assigned a special guest ring announcer? Well he apparently forgot to do that here.


TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Eric Young(c) vs. Bobby Lashley (w/Kenny King & MVP)- 3/10
See... this thing with EY being at a disadvantage because he had to wrestle earlier would work a lot better if the first match hadn't been over an hour ago and HAD GONE MORE THAN FOUR MINUTES!
Anyway, Lashley beats EY to become the new TNA World Heavyweight Champion (though they had to give EY a visual pin on Lashley first in a match that went less than ten minutes because G-d forbid they not make their new champion look as crappy as their old one). TNA has four PPVs a year... and on the first TV show after one of them, they change the World Heavyweight Title to guy who just lost the title match last night... a good, hearty F*CK YOU to everyone who bought the PPV.
Anyone remember why MVP wanted the world title in his faction in the first place? Well for those of you who don't, Tenay reminded us: he wanted the "power" that comes with the title. So, of course, in order to get this power, he set things up by massively abusing the power he already had throughout the course of the night. This is stupid.

EY got his arm Pillmanizered after the match, but then Bobby Roode made his big return as a babyface and fought off the heels.

An okay Impact. There was certainly a lot of stupid stuff, but they also reduced a lot of the little things that are easy to fix and tend to drive me nuts. They also did a good job budgeting their time (world title matches aside, I mean... so maybe they really didn't, but it felt like they did). and everything that happened on this show felt like it was important. This still looks like the same TNA with the same non-sensical creative direction, but if they reduce the little things that drive me nuts and give everything enough time to feel important, the show will become a lot more watchable.
There were, of course, two other factors that made this show more enjoyable than Impact usually is: the extremely hot crowd... and the fact that Taz and Tenay weren't painfully annoying. Hell... for the first time... well... ever, really... they weren't even annoying at all!

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay says that the team of Magnus & Bram has been "on fire as of late."
They have only had one match as a team so far. It was a handicap match. THEY LOST.

[cero2k]

Anyway, he said that was a great "wrestling moment" and urged Dixie to do the right thing. Dixie hugged Dreamer, then, in a swerve that everyone saw coming, she kneed him in the balls. Spud and Ethan then beat Dixie up.

that second swerve tho, didn't see that one coming.


I was worried about this show, it seemed like a clusterfuck of things were going on, but at the end everything seemed to come out ok. I'm really liking heel Lashley, but i'm sad Young lost the title.

[Big Red Machine]

Anyway, he said that was a great "wrestling moment" and urged Dixie to do the right thing. Dixie hugged Dreamer, then, in a swerve that everyone saw coming, she kneed him in the balls. Spud and Ethan then beat Dixie up.

that second swerve tho, didn't see that one coming.

Whoops. Fixed it.

I was worried about this show, it seemed like a *censored* of things were going on, but at the end everything seemed to come out ok. I'm really liking heel Lashley, but i'm sad Young lost the title.

I'm quite happy EY lost the title (I assume that they needed the belt on a heel in order to put it on Joe or Aries or Roode after this), but I really hated the way it all went down.

I also had the opposite impression as you as far as a lot of stuff happening. I thought they focused everything very well.

[cero2k]

I was worried about this show, it seemed like a *censored* of things were going on, but at the end everything seemed to come out ok. I'm really liking heel Lashley, but i'm sad Young lost the title.

I'm quite happy EY lost the title (I assume that they needed the belt on a heel in order to put it on Joe or Aries or Roode after this), but I really hated the way it all went down.

I also had the opposite impression as you as far as a lot of stuff happening. I thought they focused everything very well.

it was mostly the feeling i got when they announced the second Wolve's title defense. like soo much is going on, let me take a break! but i was really happy with how the whole thing went at the end, it felt like old mcmahon-helmsley regime attitude era episode, just a huge power trip

BTW, will you go to the NY shows after all?

[Bulletclubfan2014]

I don't like Lashley as champ I've honestly thought for years he was a WWE bust and MMA bust had no mic skills and the only match of his I thought was great was him vs Cena at Great American Bash 07

[Big Red Machine]

I was worried about this show, it seemed like a *censored* of things were going on, but at the end everything seemed to come out ok. I'm really liking heel Lashley, but i'm sad Young lost the title.

I'm quite happy EY lost the title (I assume that they needed the belt on a heel in order to put it on Joe or Aries or Roode after this), but I really hated the way it all went down.

I also had the opposite impression as you as far as a lot of stuff happening. I thought they focused everything very well.

it was mostly the feeling i got when they announced the second Wolve's title defense. like soo much is going on, let me take a break! but i was really happy with how the whole thing went at the end, it felt like old mcmahon-helmsley regime attitude era episode, just a huge power trip

BTW, will you go to the NY shows after all?

No. I don't want to be too far ahead of TV< and I head that the stuff I would be seeing might air in late July. That seems impossible now, so I might try to go to Wednesday's taping, but I doubt it. I've also heard that they tape out of order, which would drive me nuts. I've spent a bit much on wrestling already this month: got my self a one month subsxription to WON/F4W just in time for Bryan & Vinny to boycott Impact- boo!), plus I am paying for the Network, bought one of the Road to Best in the World shows, and I'm buying the PPV itself, plus a few other DVD.s And after all... it's only TNA

[Nic/Phreak]

i think if we all watch TNA through the eyes and mind of a 2 year old with a ADHD gold fish memory than the show will make sense





doubt it..but could be possible

[cero2k]

No. I don't want to be too far ahead of TV< and I head that the stuff I would be seeing might air in late July. That seems impossible now, so I might try to go to Wednesday's taping, but I doubt it. I've also heard that they tape out of order, which would drive me nuts. I've spent a bit much on wrestling already this month: got my self a one month subsxription to WON/F4W just in time for Bryan & Vinny to boycott Impact- boo!), plus I am paying for the Network, bought one of the Road to Best in the World shows, and I'm buying the PPV itself, plus a few other DVD.s And after all... it's only TNA

for what it's worth, and you should look this up since i'm not 100 on this. but i think one of the tapings is Destination X. That should be worth the spoilers

[Big Red Machine]

No. I don't want to be too far ahead of TV< and I head that the stuff I would be seeing might air in late July. That seems impossible now, so I might try to go to Wednesday's taping, but I doubt it. I've also heard that they tape out of order, which would drive me nuts. I've spent a bit much on wrestling already this month: got my self a one month subsxription to WON/F4W just in time for Bryan & Vinny to boycott Impact- boo!), plus I am paying for the Network, bought one of the Road to Best in the World shows, and I'm buying the PPV itself, plus a few other DVD.s And after all... it's only TNA

for what it's worth, and you should look this up since i'm not 100 on this. but i think one of the tapings is Destination X. That should be worth the spoilers

Not really.
Sanada vs. Lashley? Should be good, but not worth going to. If I knew what the card was in advance and it looked good, maybe I would go, but I'm am very wary of TNA. I'd rather save my money and get good tickets to Final Battle or a WWE taping.