BRM Reviews the 6/2/2014 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- great stuff. I particularly enjoyed the crowd popping for Batista quitting.

SHEAMUS & ROB VAN DAM vs. BAD NEWS BARRETT & CESARO (w/Paul Heyman)- 6.25/10
Match was good for a while, then Cesaro & Heyman walk out on Wade, allowing the babyfaces to win 2-on-1.

SANDOW PROMO- He comes out as Lance Stephenson, and made fun on Indiana. It was funny, although you've to love how that whole "Sandow as a disgruntled employee" thing and have him go right back to doing silly impressions. The Big Show came out and humiliated Sandow by being a dick, doing nothing for anyone.

BO DALLAS vs. KOFI KINGSTON- 2.75/10
Bo also made fun of the Pacers for losing to Lebron and the Heat. They shouldn't have done this two segments in a row. I popped for the Bo Leave! sign. W also got some Bo-ring! chants. The match was okay, but the finish looked like crap.

STEPH MAKES AN ANNOUNCEMENT-
The Dragon & Brie parts of her promo were good. Sh then said that if Dragon is healthy at MITB, he will defend against Kane in a Stretcher match. If he can't, the MITB will become a title match. Then Cena came out and they had a good segment that both put Bryan over and moved Cena into direct opposition to the Authority. I popped for the one-night-only return of the Steph's boob-job jokes. Steph books Cena vs. Kane for right now.

KANE vs. CENA- 3.75/10
Cena wins by DQ when Kane won't stop beating him up in the corner. Kane continues to attack Cena... but the Cena makes a come back and beats Kane up. WHY WOULD YOU BEAT YOUR BIG SCARY MONSTER THIS SOON?!

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS RANDY ORTON- Randy says that he and Hunter are still on the same page, and he will wrestle Roman Reigns tonight.

LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito) vs. DREW MCINTYRE & HEATH SLATER (w/Jinder Mahal & Hornswoggle)- no rating. Decent segment
Hornswoggle now has an afro. Torito rips it off, revealing it to be a wig. Hornswoggle ran to the back in shame. This also resulted in Slater becoming distracted and getting rolled up.

HANDICAP MACH: Nikki Bella vs. Fox-ana- no rating. GREAT segment.
Fox is an awesome heel. The way she dropped Nikki out of the ring looked like it hurt like a mtherf*cker.

LUKE HARPER PROMO- awesome.

ZEB COULTER PROMO- good

ADAM ROSE vs. JACK SWAGGER(w/Zeb Coulter)- 3/10
JBL accurate described this match as "Randy Couture vs. Bozo the Clown." Speaking of clowns, the Exotic Express appears to have picked one up.

There is a guy with a "Gunner 3:16" sign. I hope he got a flat tire on the way home.

USOS PROMO- very good.

THE USOS vs. LUKE HARPER & ERICK ROWAN- 6.75/10

MONEY IN THE BANK QUALIFYING MATCH: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.5/10

RYB-AXEL vs. SIN CARA & GOLDUST- 4/10
Cody hand-picked Cara to be Goldust's partner. Shouldn't he have picked someone who actually wins matches?

HERO OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION CEREMONY FOR RUSEV- I enjoyed this, but I can understand other winking it was boring.

TRENT RICHARDSON IS IN THE BUILDING- his kid looks TERRIFIED.

SHIELD PROMOS- all great

RANDY ORTON (w/Triple H) vs. ROMAN REIGNS (w/the Shield)-

WHAT THE F*CK?!

NO! STOP! SETH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP HITTING DEAN AND ROMAN?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!

[cero2k]

NO! STOP! SETH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP HITTING DEAN AND ROMAN?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!

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[badnewzxl]

Dumb finish. HHH if this is plan b, you're an idiot. Why not have Rollins turn at Payback? Then you coulda finished off Reigns. This doesn't make any damned sense!

[Big Red Machine]

Dumb finish. HHH if this is plan b, you're an idiot. Why not have Rollins turn at Payback? Then you coulda finished off Reigns. This doesn't make any damned sense!

Maybe he recruited him on Monday? We won't know until they explain it.

[cero2k]

Dumb finish. HHH if this is plan b, you're an idiot. Why not have Rollins turn at Payback? Then you coulda finished off Reigns. This doesn't make any damned sense!

Maybe he recruited him on Monday? We won't know until they explain it.

i think it was bad wording for triple h. he made it seem like it was plan b from losing at payback, but it should had been plan b from losing batista.

[Big Red Machine]

Dumb finish. HHH if this is plan b, you're an idiot. Why not have Rollins turn at Payback? Then you coulda finished off Reigns. This doesn't make any damned sense!

Maybe he recruited him on Monday? We won't know until they explain it.

i think it was bad wording for triple h. he made it seem like it was plan b from losing at payback, but it should had been plan b from losing batista.

That was how I understood it the whole time. Plan A was "Evolution Beats up Shield" (or maybe Evolution beats up Shield when Rollins turns, making it 4-on-2). Then Dave quit, necessitating Plan B: Lure them into a match, then have Hunter distract them with the sledgehammer so that they don't see Seth's betrayal coming.

[badnewzxl]

I thought Plan A was his plan from weeks ago when he talked about how they were gonna divide and conquer the Sheild; that's why Rollins turn doesn't make sense as a Plan B. If it were just part of Plan A, HHH would have got what he wanted.