BRM Reviews the 5/13/2014 Main Event

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- stupid, pointless waste of time,
If Sheamus really had so much of a problem committing an act of violence in front of a woman that he asked Renee to leave the ring, why does he not have a problem committing acts of violence in from of the women in the crowd?
It would have been a lot better if Sheamus had asked all of the women in the building if they minded seeing him kick Heyman’s face in. It would have still gotten a big pop, and would have created some crowd interaction rather than Sheamus unwittingly saying that all of the women in the crowd are actually men (and if WWE, for some reason, needs a canned recording of mostly women cheering, now they’ll have one).
Anyway, Heyman eventually leaves the ring, but is still yakking at Sheamus, which buys time for Cesaro to come out and attack Sheamus from behind, giving him a Neutralizer. If you want to do an angle to build heat for this match, that’s fine, but don’t do the angle on the same show as this match when the show is one that almost no one watches. If they had done this on Raw instead of having Sheamus bury RybAxel, it would have actually gotten Cesaro on Raw (which he wasn’t), been able to drawn a lot more viewers to the C-show Main Event, not totally buried RybAxel, and freed up a whole bunch of time on Raw which you could have given to other matches!

DAMIEN SANDOW vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER- 4.5/10
So Sandow tries to shoot TWICE in just the span of a few hours… and then they send him out on TV the next day? Really? And they don’t cut his mic off, the second he starts speaking? COME ON! Put some f*cking thought into your angles!

ALICIA FOX vs. EMMA- 1/10
Santino isn’t out at ringside with Emma because… um… he’s in the bathroom right now. Yeah. Let’s go with that. Fox’s push continu… nope. She got rolled up by Emma.
ALICIA FOX’s POST-MATCH ANTICS- SH*T!
I guess they’re just counting on in-ring antics to get her over, which is fine… except that they seem to think that those antics have to be completely weird, and have to come AFTER LOSING. Neither of those is very good. And where the hell is security? She is assaulting WWE crew and attempting to ROB them! FAIL!

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SHEAMUS- She wants to know if Sheamus is physically able to compete after taking one Neutralizer. COME ON! He’s walking around like normal right now! What a stupid question! We see people kick out of finishers and keep going, so why would Sheamus not be able to wrestle half an hour after taking one?

SHEAMUS vs. CESARO (w/Paul Heyman)- 6.75/10
A good match that ended in a double count-out. They kept fighting afterwards until some refs broke them up, but then Heyman gave Cesaro a steel chair which Cesaro hit Sheamus with… but then Sheamus hit Cesaro with a Brogue Kick, making the whole thing pointless because THERE’S NO HEAT.

Not a good episode of Main Event.